Let’s Take This Show on the Road!

1.  Toddler Leashes
I know that some parents think the leash/harness combo used on children is limiting and cruel and will stunt them…blah, blah, blah.  When you have all manner of small people that you are responsible for keeping track of while also pretending to be paying attention to a soccer game held on a field surrounded by more fields surrounded by busy streets and railroad tracks, you learn that a toddler leash is only limiting in that it limits how crazy and frantic you become trying to keep track of everyone.  We’ve convinced our toddlers that the harness/leash combo is high fashion, a privilege, something one only gets to wear at the height of soccer season.  If I hear the clucking tongues of other mothers telling each other how they would never use a leash on their child, I’m sure to stare hard at the leash and tutu they keep on their little lap dog they bring to the games.  I would never put a tutu on a dog, so I guess we’re even.

2.  Perfumed Body Lotion
Odd choice, you say, something you wouldn’t put in your ExtraCurricular survival kit?  It’s my little oasis of pleasing fragrance, a necessary luxury and olifactory masking device for when the back of my van is filled with atheletic equipment and my van seats are filled with sweaty, hot, fragrant athletes.  After sitting in the wind -whipped enviroment of parental audience, to pull out a cute little bottle of Cherry Blossom or Pear Glace and smooth its civilized aroma across my wind burned limbs is a 15 second step toward the memory of being groomed and coiffed.  Once you slather on some sweet smelling lotion after cheering a game, you’ll see what I mean.  And you’ll thank me.  You will.

3.  Toilet Seat Covers
I jest not.  I found in the travel department of my local superstore a small package of disposable paper toilet seat covers.  I laughed at myself for purchasing, giggled again as I stuck them in my bag ‘o supplies.  And then I had to take potty-training kiddos to the chemical toilets at the soccer fields.

I laugh no more.

I was genius for buying these.

They are absolutely necessary equipment for surviving a triple-play soccer day.  While I myself would rather allow my bladder to expand to the size of a basketball before using one of those nasty facilities, the younger kids of the group seem to always need to christen these lovely outhouses.  Short of carrying a spray bottle of bleach and wearing haz-mat suits, my little pack of toilet seat covers gives me a little faux peace of mind when I suspending a toddler touche over the potty.

4.  Teaching Tapes and CDs
If I’m going to play bus driver for a dedicated portion of my day, I may as well build my brain, as well as the brains I am transporting to various locations.  We listen to CDs on history, science, Bible, humor, audiobooks and the like.  It makes the drive time productive, a little learning capsule as we rocket across town.  And I am always amazed at the wealth of information the kids remember from these audio jaunts.  I’m not quite sure where they will use some of these facts, but they should be able to kick some tail when they play Trivial Pursuit.

5.  Front Seat Confessional
Never underestimate the ability of a half-hour drive across town to loosen the tongue.  Some of the best conversations I have had with each of the kids individually have come when the rest of the crew is sitting in the back seats of the 15 passenger van and the front seat or the bench seat directly behind my perch in the captain’s chair becomes a confessional booth.  Questions on theology, sociology, ideas on God, admissions of troubling feelings or confused thinking, it has all come out while occupying the co-pilot seat.  I look forward to a little bit of personalized time with each of the kids, ironically while we’re all piled into the confined space of our vehicle.  But it’s one of the few times my kids catch me sitting still, only able to chat and drive, not hustling laundry, not wrestling a toddler, not pacing the house depositing flotsam and jetsam back to the correct rooms.  They feel they have more of my attention and I feel I am focusing more as we repose whilst driving.

We reviewed the calendar yesterday and it looks like we are staging a military campaign to overtake a small country until things calm down mid-June.  But with a couple of great audio-books, a collection of toddler leashes and a new fragrance or two in hand lotion, I feel that this ExtraCurricular Season will be conquered enjoyed fully until I collapse enter the sweltering balmy days of summer and dread dream of the Fall ExtraCurricular Season to come….

Julie Carr, aka Octamom, has been steering her homeschool ship while falling behind in laundry for over 12 years now. A mother of eight children ranging in ages from 18 years old to 20 month-old twins, Julie enjoys a slightly obssessive relationship with photography and writing. Be sure to follow her blog at Octamom.