I started college in August of 2005. I remember being terrified because I had been out of school for over ten years. What could I possibly remember that would help me through college courses? As I signed onto my courses online a verse caught my eye:

It was the first time I’d ever seen this verse and while it was meant for comfort, I had no idea what the future held. I was scared. My children had just started the year in a new public school. We had moved yet again, courtesy of the military, to Central Georgia. As the school year went on we started noticing significant failures in the particular school that my two older attended. The first issue came about when my five year old son was denied the right to use the bathroom. This did not end well for anyone, as I was called to the school to bring some extra clothing, only to find out that it would take a full bath to clean up this accident. My son was mortified and my heart broke for him. Soon after this incident my oldest son reported that his second grade teacher (albeit, very pregnant at the time) was assigning class work in the morning and then napping at her desk, sometimes the entire afternoon! (Can you imagine 25 unattended second graders)?

The final straw came when I arrived at the school to pick them up and a bus driver was relaying a story to another teacher, while very loudly swearing in front of a busload of kids. I was horrified. I immediately walked into the building and found the assistant principal who responded, “Well, it’s really no big deal, those children do not speak English.” I would like to say that I turned on my heel, right in that moment and took my children home for good. Unfortunately, it did not happen that way. It would take something far more profound for me to hear the beginning rumblings of God trying to change our lives.

During this time we joined a local church and to my surprise it was loaded with homeschooled children! I didn’t at the time understand how all of these parents had the courage to take on the challenges that came with being their children’s sole teachers. My husband and I were both public schooled and there were very few people in our hometown that homeschooled. It was considered very, very odd and in many cases, considered irresponsible. I felt the Lord working in my heart, but I was not ready to listen to His call.

It was not until Xander was diagnosed with Autism that my husband and I started taking this ‘feeling’ more seriously.

Imagine this:
Xander had his four year old well-check appointment a couple of months past his birthday. The doctor checked the normal things, eyes, nose, throat, and weight, and then started asking me a slew of questions regarding his mannerisms. He wanted to know how he slept, what his aversions were, if he had any obsessions that seemed abnormal. Was he always hyper? (Yes, he was.) Did he have unusual anxieties? (Yes, as a matter of fact he did.) Did he always have the need to lick everything in his surroundings? (blush… Yes, he did.)

He looked me straight in the eye at the end of the appointment and stated, “I firmly believe your son has something called Autism. Are you familiar with that term?”

I was only familiar with this term. I must admit, I was very skeptical at this point. The doctor could have said ‘allergies’ or an ‘ear infection’ or ‘blue hair’ at this point and I think I still would have had the same flippant attitude about the assumptive diagnosis. He suggested that I take him to see a local psychologist and then surprised me by pulling out his prescription pad.
“I think you would be happier if we went ahead and put him on medication for his hyperactivity.”

My first thought was ‘are you kidding me’? If you look at the statement he made you might notice the same things I noticed: “I think you would be happier if we went ahead and put him on medication for his hyperactivity.”

Where was the medical reasoning for my son actually needing this medication? It was then and there I realized that he did not have anything close to allergies, an ear infection, or even blue hair. This was a real problem. It was real enough that my very conservative doctor thought he should be medicated. Against doctor’s advice I declined the medication, but was tactful enough to add that should he really and truly need it we would reconsider at a later date. With a referral in hand we were off to make an appointment with the Psychologist to find out more about this Autism.

That night I felt the tugging on my heart louder than I’d felt it in the past. I knew that we needed to consider that maybe God was calling us out of our comfort zone to homeschool our children. I started asking questions around church. How did they like being home with their children? Were the children making adequate scores? Would they go to college? What about socialization? Would they hate us as parents? (I know at this point many of you are probably rolling your eyes because you have been faced with these exact questions!)

My answer came two weeks later when I brought Xander to see the Psychologist. I must first mention that I did not believe in these types of Psychologists and was still in the ‘AD/HD, ADD, ASD, SIDS are made up labels to promote pharmacology sales’ camp. (Don’t be offended, it’s how I was raised.) I was not ready for my child to become one of those kids.

Xander’s Psychologist was not a kid person, per se, but it worked out well because Xander never really was a kid person either. They got along splendidly and after a battery of tests and questions she confirmed the doctor’s diagnosis. Again, I was surprised when she ended the session with a rather bold statement that sent chills down my spine.

“I am going to refer you back to (the pediatrician) where you can go ahead and get the proper medications for your son.”

Followed by:
“Then you can get him enrolled in the special education program at the school and get him the help he needs.”

What I heard was:
“Medicate him and let the school handle it.”

I quietly responded that we had decided to homeschool. My husband and I had previously reached the understanding that we supported each other in the decision should we get verifiable proof that God truly wanted that for our children. I knew he would agree that it was almost as if a bullhorn had sounded down from Heaven shouting, “DO YOU HEAR ME NOW?”

There was a pause of silence while the Psychologist took in what I had said and then she rolled her eyes and said, “You can try, but it will be a great injustice to your child. He will never be able to learn at home, that’s why there are specialists. They are trained to teach your child. How do expect to teach him to read? He has poor motor skills. How do you expect to teach him to write? What about social skills? This is a very poor choice indeed.”

I considered what she said long after I left her office. What if I couldn’t teach him? It then occurred to me, I had been teaching him all along. He had never been to school before. I had even taught both of his brothers how to read and write. I could see the verse on my school site vividly in my mind. I taped it to my bathroom mirror so that I would not forget that this was God’s plan. I could teach my child even if I did not know I could teach him. I immediately began researching all things pertaining to Autism. We learned how to interact with him at home, how to best address discipline issues, and how to not accept ‘never’ for our child. The two baby steps I took through denying unnecessary medications for my child and denying the standard methods of treatment made me feel slightly more courageous than I had been just in the months prior to those visits.

This courage was with me when I pulled my older two children out of public school. It was with me when the principal shook her head and sighed. It was with me the days that I had to argue Xander’s case to Sunday school workers and family. It is still with me now.

Oh and by the way, if you are simply considering homeschooling your child is on the Autism Spectrum let me encourage by letting you in on our one-year follow up with the Psychologist. Same thing—lots of questions, battery of tests, and a huge praise from a very stunned woman.
“He is doing exceptionally! It is obvious that you and your husband have excellent problem-solving skills in dealing with your son. No medications you say? No therapy? No specialists?”
I sat shaking my head and quite possibly beaming. I mentioned that we would be moving to Nebraska in the upcoming year and were considering enrolling the children in the local schools there. I gave my reasons which included better scores, more activities, 11th in the nation, to which she responded:

“Why would you do that? He is obviously doing wonderfully at home!”

Wondering if your child might be on the spectrum? Be sure to come back next month for Part II of this article.

Angela DeRossett is military wife, homeschooling mother, and an advocate for autism research. Angela can be found blogging at Homeschooling the Chaotic Family and Memoirs of a Chaotic Mommy.