Motherhood is….thankless?

Posted by Meg | 0 comments

You’ve heard it often. I hear it often. “Motherhood is a thankless job.”

I heard it while I was still carrying our first son. With two children, I still hear it, whether from another mom or a well-meaning stranger.

You know what? I don’t entirely agree.

Don’t get me wrong. There are so many motherhood-related tasks that are repetitive, laborious, and that often go, well, thankless:

• Countless diaper changes (the average baby gets 7,000 changes)
• Preparing, serving, cleaning up after 3 meals a day, 365 days a year
• Carpooling
• Purchasing clothes and shoes
• Medicine dispensing
• Doctor and dentist appointment scheduling

It’s a fact: Babies can’t talk, and toddlers are often too defiant and self-centered to thank anyone without being told. Yet learning how to be grateful and appreciative can start early. “Please” and “thank you” can be so much of your family dynamic that it seems commonplace and effortless. Teaching your children to be thankful can be as natural as teaching the alphabet.

Sure. I’ve changed a lot of diapers. (I believe my total would be 14,000.) I’ve laundered a lot of clothes. I’ve treated a lot of stains. I’ve refilled a lot of juice cups. And I’ve stumbled out of bed at 2am many times to soothe the effects of a bad dream. Many tasks for which I never received back one audible “thank you.”

But now that our children are 3 and 5, their hearts are beginning to be pricked for the well-being of others. They’re learning something called empathy. Their worlds are expanding and their eyes are focusing on the needs, feelings, and struggles of people around them.

That, plus our diligence to request a “thank you” for every token granted, is showing its fruit.

Just this past week, both of our children have taken the initiative to do nice things for each other. They are using kinder words. And you know what? They are telling my husband and I “thank you” a lot more often — without having to be told.

But you know what? I have seen the evidence of their gratitude long before they even had words with which to speak. This is just the articulation of the seed that’s been growing in their little hearts ever since they were very small.

You see, thankfulness has come to me in many forms:

• The gleaming glint in my son’s eye, the beaming smile on his lips, the excited kick of his feet, peering up sweetly to me from his crib as I walk in to wake him at daybreak.
• The gentle nuzzle of my infant daughter’s sweet forehead as she cuddles in my arms before bedtime.
• The exuberance and excitement on their faces when I let them play outside “for just five more minutes.”
• The way their tiny, chubby arms outstretched wide when I asked them how much Mommy loves them.
• The way they stayed so close to me in moments of trepidation, knowing that I would protect them, no matter what.

And then there are those “sideways compliments,” the sweet things they’ve said about their Mommy or Daddy to others (grandparents, church nursery workers, or friends)….things I find out about later. My heart bursts with pride and humility all at the same time.

So, for me, motherhood is many things….but it is not “thankless.”

Though you may not believe you are making a difference, loving them enough, or doing any good at all….

Trust me. You are.

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” II Corinthians 4:18, NIV

Meg is a devoted wife to her husband, Ken, of 9 years, and mom and homeschooling teacher to her two children, five-year-old son “G” and three-year-old daughter “R.” When she’s not writing or creating something, Meg loves to cook for, host and entertain friends and family. She also enjoys reading, the outdoors, eclectic music, yoga, and studying history. You can read all about her adventures (and misadventures) at her blog, Muses of Megret and read her educational product reviews at Muse Reviews.