Q & A with Kendra: Competitive Moms

Posted by Kendra | 0 comments

What do you do when dealing with pushy moms who have high expectations of their kids and try to compete? For example, some moms are always asking me if my preschoolers can read or do certain math. People have even gone as far as asking my little ones math problems in public. All because they feel they need to prove that their children are learning more than mine. I need some advice on what to say to these moms.

Oh boy, have I been in these situations! And I’m never good on my feet, so I usually stutter and bumble around and ultimately mutter something about educational toys and worksheets and Sesame Street. Then I think of an absolutely brilliant answer… on my way home.

First of all, we have to remember Whose we are. Where are we getting our value, significance, purpose, and identity? In those moments where I feel our choices are being questioned, it helps immensely if I can remember that I am Jesus’, that my worth is in Him, that He has called me to this business of homeschooling, and that my identity is with Jesus, not my skills as a home educator, or even as a mom.

Secondly, it helps to remember that “the proof is in the pudding”. I can think way back to when my oldest ones were just kindergarteners or younger and I hadn’t purposely taught them anything beyond the alphabet and their colors. I hadn’t taught anyone to read, and high school graduation was a long way off. I remember saying to myself, “the proof will be in the pudding”. And it is! Give yourself time and the nay-sayers (or uber-competititve Tiger Moms, as it were) grace to see that good results aren’t always apparent early on.

Lastly, I’ve never forgotten an article that circulated around homeschooling boards back in the day before blogs and written by homeschooling mom Joanne Ketch called, “Pass the Bean Dip”. The idea was that whenever someone questioned your unconventional choices, methods, or in your case, children’s educational levels, you simply smile and say, “Got that covered! Thank you! Want some bean dip?” It’s a strategy that shows you’re confident about where your children are and it’s really none of the other mom’s business anyway.

You can read more of Joanne’s wisdom here: http://goybparenting.com/?p=58

Kendra Fletcher is the homeschooling mother of eight, ages 18 down to 3. She has never known what it means to homeschool without the presence of preschoolers, and loves to encourage other moms beginning their homeschool journeys with little ones underfoot. Her website and blog can be found at Preschoolers and Peace.