Receiving Graciously

Posted by Jane | 4 comments

As the year begins, my inbox is still glutted with “Happy New Year” messages. “It’s not too late to make your 2011 tax-deductible donation to …”

“It is more blessed to give than to receive.” I’ve been raised with this biblical maxim, and I spend the Christmas season trying to pound it into my 4yo daughter’s psyche as well. “Live generously,” I tell her. And she is glad to pass along cash, make gifts, or think of gifts others might like. Though for some reason, she’s convinced all her cousins, no matter the age or gender, would absolutely love a mermaid doll.

And yet, there is too much evidence that I am missing another important ingredient: the art of receiving graciously.

We’ve all seen the opposite – the child who opens a gift, then, with a disappointed look, tosses it to the ground and mumbles a half-hearted “thank you” without meeting the giver’s eye. Or worse, turns to Dad and in a clearly audible voice asks, “Why didn’t Auntie so-and-so get me something FUN?” Um, yeah.

Receiving graciously can be hard to do when you’re young. It gets even harder as you grow older. Think of Martha – busy doing doing doing for others. Not wanting to sit down and receive, not realizing that in receiving, she would be giving back the greater gift of herself.

Receiving means humbling yourself. No matter how freely given, receiving a gift means indebting yourself to the giver.

Think of Esau, looking upon the gifts his twin brother had sent to earn his favor (Genesis 33). Esau didn’t need them, didn’t necessarily want them. But Jacob’s gifts represented something more – God’s graciousness, repentance and forgiveness, the restoration of a relationship. And so Esau took.

Ultimately, receiving graciously means looking beyond the gift to the giver. It means acknowledging the value of the relationship.

So, how do I pass on the art of receiving graciously to my daughter?

#3. Assign it. Use thank-you cards as a regular writing assignment. This could be after a tangible gift is received, or an exercise in showing appreciation for things we often take for granted.

#2. Practice it. Role play how to act when receiving a gift. Discuss different types of gifts and what the giver might be feeling as he gives the gift. Analyze how giving thanks is in a way giving a gift back to the receiver.

#1. Be the example. She has to see it in me. She has to see me writing in my gratitude journal, reveling in the beauty around me, listening to God speak, and acknowledging my thanks to Him each day. And she has to see me loving others, valuing their gifts and in doing so, affirming their value in my life.

When she’s not battling too-sticky play dough and untangling herself from the hot-glue webs surrounding her too-cute felt ladybugs, Jane contemplates how to instill in her four-year-old daughter a heart to change the world for Jesus. Her family has circled the globe and landed in rural Oregon where the grass is green and the sky is blue, though not usually at the same time. Their eclectic homeschool adventures are chronicled at Mozi Esmé.