Happy Birthday Amy Bayliss!

April 21, 2008 by AmyS

We would like to wish our wonderful co-founder Amy B. a very blessed birthday. Everyone here at Heart of the Matter is very grateful for Amy’s love, encouragement, inspiration, humor and friendship. In honor of her (ahem) 21st birthday, we would like to send you on a scavenger hunt of her blog, In Pursuit of Proverbs 31.

The winner of the scavenger hunt will receive a copy of Sheila Wray Gregoire’s book To Love, Honor and Vacuum. Here is what we want you to find:

1. What 2 websites (other than her personal blog and Heart of the Matter) can you find Amy at?

2. How many children does Amy have?

3. What very special event took place on September 8, 2007?

4. Take a look at Amy’s 101 in 1001 list. What is one goal that you have in common with her?

5. Where is the place that Amy hears God best? Here’s a hint: look in her Testimony.

Please email your answers to homeschoolinghearts@gmail.com. The contest will close on Friday the 25th.

~Don’t forget to leave Amy a birthday comment. ~

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Tags: Giveaways, happy birthday, Literature

Are You A “Real” Homeschool Mom?

February 8, 2008 by Amy Bayliss

12 Comments

Are You A “Real” Homeschool Mom?

Are you a “real” homeschool mom or do you always put your best foot forward when you are in the presence of moms that you think have mastered the art of homeschooling?

I have news for you. They aren’t perfect either!

I always get so amused when I hear other moms talk about how they “love” to homeschool and how everything always works out so great for them. I often wonder what it would be like to visit their home on a week day. I mean we know that mom wouldn’t screech in horror because the house isn’t clean. She definitely wouldn’t send the kids off to their rooms because they are still in their pajamas. And she absolutely wouldn’t throw the textbooks in a cabinet to give the impression that school time had been completed hours earlier because we all know she gets up at the crack of dawn every day!

No, siree, Not our homeschool moms. We all have our act together!

Or do we?

I can honestly say that if anyone thinks that we (the cabinet, book hiding, wake up at 9ish, send the kids to their room to get dressed so we look like a good homeschool family people) have it all together they are truly mistaken.

Sure, I have heard the praise from many mothers who like to compliment me on how well mannered my boys are and how well they behave. What they don’t see is that I am holding their favorite toy hostage to insure their behavior so that mom and dad can have a stress free time.

OK. OK. So my boys really are well mannered and I don’t hold toys hostage for good public behavior. This is actually one of their good points but don’t dare ask me about their room! Or the fact that the “baby” is wearing his brother’s clothes because he keeps putting his clean clothes in the laundry room and I now refuse to wash them.

And please, please, please don’t ask me about the moans and groans I get when I mention it is school time, which usually starts around 12:30 (no eye-rolling!)

Now once we get started they are usually gung ho about science projects and civil war reenactments but that is only after I bribe them with M&Ms to complete their math work. I know, I know… BAD MOM!

Jeepers. I guess I shouldn’t mention that I only actually cook breakfast once a week and the rest of the time they eat cereal. I assume I should also keep it a secret that my almost 7 year old hardly ever completes anything and I don’t try to make him.

I cannot fathom that I am the only homeschooling mom out there who goes through this. Is it really all hunky dory? Should I be wearing a retro pattern and singing, “The fields are alive with the sound of music…”?

Am I the only one who has actually considered enrolling the kids in public school just long enough to get the house clean and teach them just how good they have it at home?

Don’t get me wrong. I love the idea of homeschooling but on some days it’s the act of it that brings out the worst in me and my family.

These pieces of toast are a wonderful representation of how the days of our week can go at times, from perfect and savory absorbing every flavor to absolutely no good. Yeah, we have to scrape the “yuck” off to get to a small bit of good stuff on those days.

Why? We are all human. We all make mistakes. We must all submit daily to do the right thing, the best thing for ourselves and our families.

I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.
Romans 7:21-25

Be real with God, with yourself, and with each other.

I have heard the term, “Don’t speak that!”, one too many times. How can God get the glory for mending something if you never admit that it is broken in the first place?

Now I’m not saying run around speaking negatively. There is a difference between saying, “I can’t do it all” and saying “I’m no good at anything”. One is acknowledging the current status and one is self-hatred. One gives God the glory and one takes the focus off of God. You can tell the difference by discerning with your heart.

Encourage each other.

Don’t jump back and say, “Ah!” with your hand over your mouth the next time you hear a child say they had McDonald’s for lunch and they didn’t have school yesterday. Instead look him in the eye and say, “well your mommy sure does know how to let you have fun doesn’t she?” and smile real big at him and then at her. And don’t wink like you just uncovered her dirty little secret. Showing love will do more for her than telling her she needs to switch curriculum to keep the kids more interested and her more motivated.

Don’t compare yourself to other moms.

Even if her kids are always polite, are mini Picassos, only eat whole wheat and like it, and knew how to sew before they could talk (which was at least 3 months earlier than your kids), just remember that they have some issues somewhere that they are hiding. We have been taught not to express our weaknesses for fear that others will not think as highly of us but that doesn’t mean that we don’t have them.

God gave your kids you as a mom. That means that He did not deem anyone else more qualified for the position. Take confidence in that. He knows what He is doing. After all He did create the universe and everything in it in only 6 days. I know because we have covered this more than 50 times in our various school textbooks!

Give yourself permission to take a break.

When you are a homeschooling mom you are not only the teacher for every pupil and for every subject but you are the PE coach, the guidance counselor, every lady in the lunch room, the secretary, the librarian, the PTA, the fundraiser chairperson, the hall monitor, the janitor, and the assistant principal. Whew! Sign me up for a vacation just for typing all of that but it really does put it into perspective doesn’t it?

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work.
Genesis 2:2

Take a nap. Take a hot bubble bath. Go lie on your bed and read a book. It’s OK! Your children will not become illiterate, the house will not fall apart, and no one will starve. However, I can’t guarantee that no one from church will just so happen to stop by for a visit. (Isn’t it funny how that happens?)

As long as you do what you do unto God then it will prevail.

I have told you many of my dirty little secrets here today but I saved the best for last:

My sw
eet, wonderful, friend (eh, um Darnelle, hmm) suggested that I give my children the CAT test to send in to the state for our yearly renewal instead of copying bulks of papers from each subject and submitting lesson plans.

Oh how I love her for the confidence she had in me but let me tell you what a silly, sometimes absent-minded little woman I am.,,,

I give Gevan (11 year old) his test first. We actually only run into a few snags with division and punctuation. Aside from that the kid surprised me with how well he did. He was over three years behind when I pulled him out of school two years ago. Amidst all of the chaos he has actually learned and progressed more in these past two year than he had in any year prior. He still lacks in a couple of areas but he is doing well, very well. Here is his score:

Wow! God loves me! I never would have imagined that he could do so well. I don’t put much stock in these tests but I have to admit that it is a good feeling to know that he and I accomplished in 1.5 years what his teachers couldn’t do in 4.

Then there is the nutty but more amazing part of this CAT test story.

I decided to give Brennan (6 year old) the test next. I knew that Jacob (9 year old) would do well and blow through the test with no problem. He is just a fast learner. But, Brennan on the other hand, I knew I would have to duct tape him to the chair just so he could complete it.

Brennan does not like school. Math is stoooopid and reading is meeeeeean! He promises me every day that it is going to kill him. Yes, he actually says, “MOM, you’re just trying to kill me! I can’t do stoooopid math and reading is meeeean!”

So he has school maybe twice a week. (remember – don’t “Ah!” me!) I can’t bear to wrestle him to the table any more than that but it’s funny how he seems to recall almost every fact that we discuss and can read even the most complicated words.

In fact, his absent-minded mother accidentally gave him his brother’s 2nd grade CAT test and realized it only when she was getting Jacob ready for his test and thought it was funny that the 9-year-old was going to be tested on phonics and number recognition. Bren took Jake’s test.

Yes, I did that. I admit it.

I also admit that I wasn’t about to give Brennan another test all over again and I knew that Jacob would score high so I just let him take Brennan’s test and turned them in.

Just breathe. The shock will wear off soon. Don’t tell the state, k?

I have to say I was beyond my embarrassment when I saw his score. Not bad for a 6-year-old, eh?

So, if you get nothing else out of this article but a laugh or two at me then it was worth it. You are doing a wonderful job as a homeschooling mom and you deserve a pat on the back. You are awesome. You are wonderful. And we are going to make it through! I promise!

Amy is the happy wife of one amazing man and she is a 3rd year homeschooling mom to three energetic boys. In her column “Effective Education”, she writes about the eclectic teachings that bring a glimmer of curiosity to the eyes of her sons and a bit of hope to moms. Be sure to visit her blog, In Pursuit of Proverbs 31.

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Tags: christian living, Encouragement, Family Life, Scripture

Are You A “Real” Homeschool Mom?

February 8, 2008 by Amy Bayliss

We Are All Different

January 9, 2008 by Amy Bayliss

7 Comments

We Are All Different

Homeschooling can seem so overwhelming at times. With so many choices in curriculum and teaching methods how can you be sure that you have chosen the right one?

You can.

When I first began this journey I had it all figured out. I did extensive research on the internet, bought and read several highly recommended homeschooling how-to books and I even counseled with some ladies that I deemed to be pros at homeschooling to get their input. I used placement tests with each of the boys to see where they were academically in each subject. I observed them to figure out what their learning styles were. I set out on a mission to teach them art, music, two foreign languages and structured PE! Keep in mind that all of this was in addition to their core subjects and trying to catch one of them up to his grade level (he was previously in public school). I had lesson plans for the entire year all mapped out. I would spend 2.3 hours per day and per child teaching them. Things were going to be great!

Was I reaching too high?

Around this same time we began going to a homeschool group where everyone had so many great ideas. I also found wonderful online groups that had, you guessed it, more great ideas. I wrote them all down in a notebook. I was going to implement them in my classroom at my kitchen table. The more I gleaned from these women, the more I implemented into our day to day activities, and the more my children became irritated with me and I with them.

I have a confession: I can’t do it all by the book and other’s expectations.

Then I did a smart thing. I prayed about it. Yes, I know it was a bit late but hey, better late than never, right? God began to show me some things about my children and He led me to a website that was offering a free book in exchange for a review published on my blog. That book was Robin Sampson’s Heart of Wisdom Teaching Approach. My eyes began to open. I began to see things clearly and the path before me became easier and easier to navigate.

In the book she was persistent in saying, “every child is unique and every home is different and you need to take what works for you and leave the rest. Combine them all for a perfect fit. Let your child lead you where he wants to learn but, keep it Christ centered.” -paraphrased

Christ centered? Use what works from each method or approach and combine them? Look for the spark in my child’s eye to see what he wants to learn? Wow! sigh

You mean, I don’t have to use the entire boxed curriculum just because they recommend it? I don’t have to buy the manipulatives that come with this text book because I can use something we already have around the house? Everything they learn doesn’t have to come from a book? I don’t have to follow every step of any method or approach because all of it may not work for our family? I don’t have to homeschool just like anyone or everyone else because their needs are not the same as ours? Yes! What a revelation!

I spent a period of time after that asking the boys what they wanted to learn about and my notebook that was once filled with the ideas from other moms began to be filled with ideas from my boys.

The following was not edited for authentication purposes. ;o)

My baby Brennan told me, “I want to be a knight because they are strong and have swords and have to fight for their horse and their woman girl!”

“I want to learn about CSI stuff and chemicals and all that and I want to work for Mr. Yancy so I can use his lab and stuff,” says Gevan the analytical thinker.

And my sweet Jacob… “Mom. I just want to be smart but I don’t want to have to do a lot of work. Oh, and I want to be a artist and make money.”

I started there. Yes, right there with those three things. They spoke volumes.

Jacob has always loved to draw and write stories. He doesn’t like to take the time to use manipulatives for math and other subjects because he gains understanding even without them. They slow him down.

Gevan loves science. Anything to do with science: ant farms, hydroelectric plants, chemicals, and all of that other stuff. He needs to use manipulatives to understand. He must look at it from every angle.

Brennan loves heroic stories about knights and soldiers. He loves his momma (his woman girl) and he is interested in most anything to do with animals. Of course, he is only 6 (almost 7)!

I prayed some more and finally decided on the parts of the methods that I would incorporate from all that I had learned, a bible study that was fitting for my boys, Konos as our launching pad, Math U See for Jacob (he is already done for this year) and Saxon for Gevan and Brennan, and a reading program called Christian Light that taught them the about the love of God as well as how to grow to be a man of integrity. I also use a variety of other sources here and there to supplement as their interests in a subject peaks. This was personalized education.

And it’s working.

It is my goal over the next few months to give you ideas and inspiration on how you can personalize your child’s education with a variety of different ideas, materials and approaches and in away that may even save you a dollar or two. I recommend that you begin asking your children what they would like to learn and watch and observe them as you teach.

And pray.

Father, we thank you for the gifts that you have given us in our precious children. We ask that you would open our eyes to see your will for their life and how I as a parent can encourage them and train them in the way they should go. Father, I ask that you would help us to always remember to keep you at the center of all things including education. It is my desire for my children to grow in wisdom and stature just as Jesus did. Please instruct me as to how to accomplish that. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Amy is the happy wife of one amazing man and she is a 3rd year homeschooling mom to three energetic boys. In her column “Effective Education”, she writes about the eclectic teachings that bring a glimmer of curiosity to the eyes of her sons. Be sure to visit her blog, In Pursuit of Proverbs 31.

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