Are You A “Real” Homeschool Mom?

Are you a “real” homeschool mom or do you always put your best foot forward when you are in the presence of moms that you think have mastered the art of homeschooling?

I have news for you. They aren’t perfect either!

I always get so amused when I hear other moms talk about how they “love” to homeschool and how everything always works out so great for them. I often wonder what it would be like to visit their home on a week day. I mean we know that mom wouldn’t screech in horror because the house isn’t clean. She definitely wouldn’t send the kids off to their rooms because they are still in their pajamas. And she absolutely wouldn’t throw the textbooks in a cabinet to give the impression that school time had been completed hours earlier because we all know she gets up at the crack of dawn every day!

No, siree, not our homeschool moms. We all have our act together!

Or do we?

I can honestly say that if anyone thinks that we (the cabinet, book hiding, wake up at 9ish, send the kids to their room to get dressed so we look like a good homeschool family people) have it all together they are truly mistaken.

Sure, I have heard the praise from many mothers who like to compliment me on how well mannered my boys are and how well they behave. What they don’t see is that I am holding their favorite toy hostage to insure their behavior so that mom and dad can have a stress free time.

OK. OK. So my boys really are well mannered and I don’t hold toys hostage for good public behavior. This is actually one of their good points but don’t dare ask me about their room! Or the fact that the “baby” is wearing his brother’s clothes because he keeps putting his clean clothes in the laundry room and I now refuse to wash them.

And please, please, please don’t ask me about the moans and groans I get when I mention it is school time, which usually starts around 12:30 (no eye-rolling!)

Now once we get started they are usually gung ho about science projects and civil war reenactments but that is only after I bribe them with M&Ms to complete their math work. I know, I know… BAD MOM!

Jeepers. I guess I shouldn’t mention that I only actually cook breakfast once a week and the rest of the time they eat cereal. I assume I should also keep it a secret that my almost 7 year old hardly ever completes anything and I don’t try to make him.

I cannot fathom that I am the only homeschooling mom out there who goes through this. Is it really all hunky dory? Should I be wearing a retro pattern and singing, “The fields are alive with the sound of music…”?

Am I the only one who has actually considered enrolling the kids in public school just long enough to get the house clean and teach them just how good they have it at home?

Don’t get me wrong. I love the idea of homeschooling but on some days it’s the act of it that brings out the worst in me and my family.

Why? We are all human. We all make mistakes. We must all submit daily to do the right thing, the best thing for ourselves and our families.

I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.
Romans 7:21-25

I have heard the term, “Don’t speak that!”, one too many times. How can God get the glory for mending something if you never admit that it is broken in the first place?

Now I’m not saying run around speaking negatively. There is a difference between saying, “I can’t do it all” and saying “I’m no good at anything”. One is acknowledging the current status and one is self-hatred. One gives God the glory and one takes the focus off of God. You can tell the difference by discerning with your heart.

Encourage each other.

Don’t jump back and say, “Ah!” with your hand over your mouth the next time you hear a child say they had McDonald’s for lunch and they didn’t have school yesterday. Instead look him in the eye and say, “well your mommy sure does know how to let you have fun doesn’t she?” and smile real big at him and then at her. And don’t wink like you just uncovered her dirty little secret. Showing love will do more for her than telling her she needs to switch curriculum to keep the kids more interested and her more motivated.

Don’t compare yourself to other moms.

Even if her kids are always polite, are mini Picassos, only eat whole wheat and like it, and knew how to sew before they could talk (which was at least 3 months earlier than your kids), just remember that they have some issues somewhere that they are hiding. We have been taught not to express our weaknesses for fear that others will not think as highly of us but that doesn’t mean that we don’t have them.

God gave your kids you as a mom. That means that He did not deem anyone else more qualified for the position. Take confidence in that. He knows what He is doing. After all He did create the universe and everything in it in only 6 days. I know because we have covered this more than 50 times in our various school textbooks!

Give yourself permission to take a break.

When you are a homeschooling mom you are not only the teacher for every pupil and for every subject but you are the PE coach, the guidance counselor, every lady in the lunch room, the secretary, the librarian, the PTA, the fundraiser chairperson, the hall monitor, the janitor, and the assistant principal. Whew! Sign me up for a vacation just for typing all of that but it really does put it into perspective doesn’t it?

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work.
Genesis 2:2

As long as you do what you do unto God then it will prevail.

I have told you many of my dirty little secrets here today but I saved the best for last:

My sweet, wonderful, friend (eh, um Darnelle, hmm) suggested that I give my children the CAT test to send in to the state for our yearly renewal instead of copying bulks of papers from each subject and submitting lesson plans.

Oh how I love her for the confidence she had in me but let me tell you what a silly, sometimes absent-minded little woman I am…

I give Gevan (11 year old) his test first. We actually only run into a few snags with division and punctuation. Aside from that the kid surprised me with how well he did. He was over three years behind when I pulled him out of school two years ago. Amidst all of the chaos he has actually learned and progressed more in these past two year than he had in any year prior. He still lacks in a couple of areas but he is doing well, very well. Here is his score:

Then there is the nutty but more amazing part of this CAT test story.

I decided to give Brennan (6 year old) the test next. I knew that Jacob (9 year old) would do well and blow through the test with no problem. He is just a fast learner. But, Brennan on the other hand, I knew I would have to duct tape him to the chair just so he could complete it.

Brennan does not like school. Math is stoooopid and reading is meeeeeean! He promises me every day that it is going to kill him. Yes, he actually says, “MOM, you’re just trying to kill me! I can’t do stoooopid math and reading is meeeean!”

So he has school maybe twice a week. (remember - don’t “Ah!” me!) I can’t bear to wrestle him to the table any more than that but it’s funny how he seems to recall almost every fact that we discuss and can read even the most complicated words.

In fact, his absent-minded mother accidentally gave him his brother’s 2nd grade CAT test and realized it only when she was getting Jacob ready for his test and thought it was funny that the 9-year-old was going to be tested on phonics and number recognition. Bren took Jake’s test.

Yes, I did that. I admit it.

I also admit that I wasn’t about to give Brennan another test all over again and I knew that Jacob would score high so I just let him take Brennan’s test and turned them in.

Just breathe. The shock will wear off soon. Don’t tell the state, k?

I have to say I was beyond my embarrassment when I saw his score. Not bad for a 6-year-old, eh?

So, if you get nothing else out of this article but a laugh or two at me then it was worth it. You are doing a wonderful job as a homeschooling mom and you deserve a pat on the back. You are awesome. You are wonderful. And we are going to make it through! I promise!

Married to her best friend and “main squeeze”, Amy Bayliss is a 4th year home/co-schooling mom to three boys. She enjoys writing about the eclectic teachings that bring a glimmer of curiosity to the eyes of her sons. In addition to being the co-owner of Heart of the Matter, she writes for Internet Cafe Devotions. Be sure to visit her blog, AmyBayliss.com and her family’s homeschool blog: Integrity Academy.

Technorati Tags: a day in the life, art of homeschooling, CAT test, Encouragement, homeschooling boys, perfection, real homeschool life, reality check

Happy Birthday Darnelle

We would like to wish our wonderful Darnelle a very blessed birthday. Please stop by her blog at All Things Work Together and leave her a birthday comment.

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How To Tell WHY Your Child is Struggling (Part 2 of 4)

(This is part 2 of a 4 part series)

Many educators who follow brain research believe that there are four “Learning Gates” that need to be properly functioning for a child to have an easy time learning.

The Four “Learning Gates” are:

• Visual processing
• Visual/motor processing (writing)
• Auditory processing
• Focus/attention processing

This article will review information regarding the second “learning gate:”

Before you begin evaluating your child, you should know that once the process is complete you may be faced with a fundamental choice: compensation or correction. Many educational experts debate whether it is more beneficial to help a struggling learner compensate for the learning processes that are difficult, or if time and effort should be spent in the pursuit of a correction of the processing problem. (See article #1 in this series for more information on compensation vs. correction. HOTM May 2008)

Learning gate #2: Visual/Motor Processing - Writing

The processing glitch that affects children the most is an interference in the writing system (spatial, visual/motor system). The process of writing has not been taken over by the child’s automatic brain, which is the right brain hemisphere. This causes the child to have to use much more energy to write. This can make a child look lazy, uncooperative, and unmotivated because writing is involved in so many learning activities. See if your child has many of the following symptoms of stress in the writing system:

• Reversals in written numbers
• Poor spacing in writing
• Difficulty copying from book or board
• Resistance to learning or writing cursive
• Displaying awkward writing posture, with eye and hand very close together
• No “helping hand” used when writing despite being instructed to do so
• Failure to complete written assignments despite performing well on tests
• Spaces math papers poorly
• Tells great stories orally, but writes very little
• Leaves out letters in a spelling test, but could spell the word orally correct
• Wants to do all math “in his head,” no matter how long the problem is

INFORMAL EVALUATIONS
Check your child’s eye/hand dominance: Tear a hole in a piece of paper that is the size of a dime. Have the child stand five feet in front of you and hold the paper with arms extended, in front of him. Ask him to look through the hole and find your nose. As he is looking at your nose through the hole in the paper, you will be able to see his dominant eye.

Now to see if he is using that same eye for close-up work, place a small, round object on the floor about five inches in front of the child’s feet. A toy construction cone is good. Ask the child to hold the paper at arm’s length and look through the hole at the object on the floor. Tell the child to “freeze” his hands when he has sees the object. Then get behind him and cover one of the child’s eyes with your hand. Ask the child if he can still see the object, or if it disappeared. Do the same with the other eye, making sure that the child does not move his paper. The object should disappear when you are covering the child’s dominant eye.

We always use only one eye when looking through a small hole - our dominant eye. If the child found that the object disappeared when you covered his right eye, then he is right-eye dominant. If he is also right-handed, then we call that “uniform dominance.” The brain finds it more efficient to be uniform dominant.

If the object disappeared when you covered the child’s left eye, then he is left-eye dominant. If the child is also right-handed, then he is considered “mixed dominance.”

Being mixed dominant can be very helpful in sports, such as baseball and golf, but is less efficient for writing. However, if a child has good brain hemispheric integration, then it is not very bothersome for him. If the two hemispheres of his brain are not communicating well for the act of writing, then the writing has not transferred into the automatic hemisphere, and the writing process can be very laborious.

Make a note of whether the child is uniform or mixed dominant. This gives you a clue as to one reason why your child has been struggling with writing. Many times these mixed-dominant children do not develop a hand dominance until they are 4 or 5 years old, as opposed to other children who develop a hand dominance earlier.

Clockwise or counterclockwise circles? Have child write a word with the letter “o” in it, or just write the letter “o.” Watch to see if he writes this clockwise or counterclockwise. If a child is hard-wired to be right-handed, he should be making all letters counterclockwise. If a child is hard-wired to be left-handed, he will tend to make his letters clockwise.

We only are concerned when a child who has chosen his right hand to write with, but is making all letters clockwise like a left-hander. This creates great stress in the child’s writing system. Make a note of this, because there are specific exercises that can be done to take the stress out of this system. We do not have to change a child’s handedness.

Bottom-to-top letter formation: Ask your child to write the alphabet in lower-case print. There is a natural flow of electricity in our body that God put there. When we make our letters according to that flow, writing is effortless. When we write letters against the flow, writing is laborious. Observe, but don’t correct. See if the child makes letter bottom-to-top, which is considered a vertical reversal. See if the child finds it difficult to remember the next letter to write. See if the child writes a mixture of lower-case and upper-case letters. Watch for clockwise letters, and letters that do not go below the line. These are all signs of stress in the child’s visual/motor/spatial system. Make notes. These problems can be corrected, and the stress taken out of the system.

Resources for Correcting Writing Dysfunction

• When teaching, have the child answer as many questions orally, reducing the need to write until you can take the stress out of the writing system
• Eliminate copying tasks because of the labor involved until the child’s writing improves
• Do timed math tests orally, if possible
• Do the Writing Eight Exercise designed by Dr. Getman, to encourage the child’s kinesthetic midline to function well, eliminating both lateral and vertical reversals. This daily exercise, when done in a deliberate, monitored manner, will convert the writing process to the automatic hemisphere. The exercise is described in the manual Brain Integration Therapy for Children by Dianne Craft.
• After the child has a strong midline, then you can use the writing program Handwriting Without Tears
• Teach your child keyboarding to encourage computer use for longer papers
• LinguiSystems has several books that talk about writing issues, such as the dysgraphia described in the characteristics section
• “Smart Kids Who Hate to Write” by Dianne Craft

**(Compiled from an article by Dianne Craft - HSLDA Special Needs Coordinator)**

Darnelle is a wife and a mother to 5 children: 4 home schoolers who are currently in 3rd, 7th, 9th, and 11th grades and one who has graduated from home school and is a college sophomore. All 5 children have been home schooled from preschool. She has many years of teaching experience in public, private, parochial, and special schools, but her favorite . . . is home school! Her certification is in the areas of special education and remediation. In her column, “Fill in the Blanks”, Darnelle aims to assist parents in finding and then correcting the trouble spots that often cause academic problems and struggles. Children (and their parents) who are freed from the heavy burden of academic struggles can begin to love learning again - just like God intended! Visit her blog, All Things Work Together.

Technorati Tags: Encouragement, learning styles, Special Needs

How to tell WHY Your Child is Struggling (Part 1 of 4)

(This is the first of a 4 Part Series)

Many educators who follow brain research believe that there are four “Learning Gates” that need to be properly functioning for a child to have an easy time learning.

The Four “Learning Gates” are:

• Visual processing
• Visual/motor processing (writing)
• Auditory processing
• Focus/attention processing

This article will review information regarding the first “learning gate” -

Before you begin evaluating your child, you should know that once the process is complete you may be faced with a fundamental choice: compensation or correction. Many educational experts debate whether it is more beneficial to help a struggling learner compensate for the learning processes that are difficult, or if time and effort should be spent in the pursuit of a correction of the processing problem.

An example of compensation would be for a child to use a keyboard at a very young age to write papers when he or she struggles with handwriting. A correction would be to do a handwriting exercise that eliminates the reversed letters, for instance, and helps the child write more neatly. Another common compensation is to reduce the spelling list required at a grade level for a child who is struggling with spelling. A correction would be to train the child’s photographic memory so that the task of spelling is easier.

Many times this does not need to be a debate. One can easily pursue both compensation and correction simultaneously. Compensation makes the learning task easier while the correction reduces the stress in the child’s learning system so that learning can flow. This is called “opening up the child’s learning gate.”

Learning Gate #1: Visual Processing

A child struggling with visual processing issues will display some of these characteristics:

• Reading reversals (”was” for “saw”, “on” for “no”, “big” for “dig”, etc.) after initial introduction of the words
• Skipping of small words when reading
• Needing to use finger to track after age 7
• Oral reading that is smooth at the beginning of the page, but becomes more labored the longer a child reads
• Experiencing eye fatigue shortly after reading begins (watery eyes, rubbing eyes, etc.) This particular characteristic is also symptomatic of eye control problems - see article on “Vision Therapy” in HOTM’s February 2008 issue
• Yawning shortly after reading begins
• Continuing to struggle even after being prescribed eye glasses (addressed in “Vision Therapy” article - February 2008 issue)

The following informal evaluations can be done at home to help a parent determine of a child is experiencing a blocked learning gate. Be sure, as well, to have your child’s vision acuity checked by an optometrist or ophthalmologist to make sure that this is not the cause of the child’s reading problem.

Eye tracking: With the child standing three feet in front of you, take an interesting object and slowly move it in a left-to-right manner in front of the child’s eyes. Ask the child to keep his eyes on the target. Do this for about four swings of the target. Watch to see if the child’s eyes skip any spot, or if they begin to water. Then slowly move the target in a horizontal figure-eight manner within the child’s shoulder width, making sure that the target is not too close to the child’s face. See if he can look in those various directions without skipping or his eyes looking stressed in any way. Make a note of your findings. There are specific exercises that can be done to strengthen a child’s eye teaming abilities to reduce the stress in the visual learning system.

Cross crawl: Many times, younger children have difficulty reading because they aren’t efficiently crossing the midline of their body. This is the process that normally occurs when a baby is crawling. However, some children develop a “learning gate” problem in this area because they did not crawl, or they crawled but had a traumatic even (such as a fall or back-to-back ear infections) that inhibited this natural process and made it much less effective.

Try this: Stand in front of the child and demonstrate the cross crawling movement by lifting the right knee and tapping it with the left hand, then doing the same with the left knee and right hand. Do this for a minute so the child can observe you. Then ask the child to do it also. Don’t correct the child at first, but let him or her figure it out while you continue to do your cross crawl movements in from of him. If the child can’t do it, and becomes frustrated, then you can start him out by having him march with his legs while you touch the opposite knee with his hands. After doing this for a bit, remove your hands from the child’s hands and let him do this himself.

Make a note of your findings. If you confirm that your child has midline issues, there are specific things that you can do to address this problem.

Reading: It is believed that there are four components to reading successfully:

• Eye tracking ability
• Sight word memorization
• Phonics (letter sounds and word decoding ability)
• Reading comprehension

We can observe a child’s oral reading to help us determine if eye tracking ability is contributing to the child’s reading difficulties. If the child can read, have him read a passage, and carefully watch his eyes to see if he reads to the end of the line, and then starts the new line, but quickly darts back with his eyes to the last line to make sure that he is in the right spot. We all do this once in a while. Watch to see if the child does this frequently. This takes much more effort to read when this saccadic eye movement is occurring.

Also observe if the child begins reading the word “dig” by forming a “b” with his mouth first. Any time a child reverses a letter or word, six months after being taught to read, that is a sign of stress in the child’s visual processing system. Make a note of your findings. There are specific things that can be done to make this process easier for your child.

Colored overlays: At times, a child will experience a mild problem reading black letters on a very white sheet of paper. It seems, to the child, that the white background of the paper is glowing and bright and distracting, making it difficult to see the black letters that compose the text.

One of the ways that you can informally determine if this is an issue is to obtain some plastic colored reading overlays (available at http://www.diannecraft.org/.)

Have the child read a paragraph or a few lines. Then place a blue colored transparency over the next paragraph and have him read. Then place a green overlay over the next paragraph when the child is reading orally. Listen for subtle changes in fluency. Ask him what he experienced while reading with the various colors. Many times the child will say that a particular transparency acted as a magnifying glass, making the letters bigger, and easier to see. There are other colors that you could try, but after working with children in this manner for 25 years, Dianne Craft says that blue and green seem to be the colors that help most often.

If the child does markedly better with one of the colored overlays, continue to use it to reduce the visual stress that he is experiencing. However, it will only act as a temporary aid until you correct the underlying problem, which is lack of eye convergence. The eyes can be trained to work together as a team while reading by doing various home exercises, or by working with a vision therapist using both home and office exercises.

In conclusion, remember that many (most) learning problems appear to be something that they are not, or appear to be caused by something that “seems” obvious, but really isn’t. Many (most) learning problems, are caused by situations that your child will usually not be able to describe to you, because he has no frame of reference other than his own, which may be skewed. It is very important that we take the time to utilize simple evaluations like those listed above. By doing so, we may be able to uncover a hidden skill deficiency that - when corrected - will make all the difference in the world to your young learner.

Also, don’t forget to pray and ask God for much wisdom as you set out to discover what, if anything, is standing in the way of your child’s academic success. He is able and willing to walk beside you as you equip your students to become all that He created them to be!

(Remember to look for the 3 upcoming articles in this series addressing the 4 “Learning Gates!”)

RESOURCES FOR CORRECTING VISION ACUITY/PROCESSING PROBLEMS

• Prescription eyeglasses
• Vision therapy from a developmental optometrist
• Brain integration therapy. (This program can be conducted at home.) For more information on this and other “Learning Gate” issues, visit” http://diannecraft.org/.

**(Compiled from an article by Dianne Craft - HSLDA Special Needs Coordinator)**

Darnelle is a wife and a mother to 5 children: 4 home schoolers who are currently in 3rd, 7th, 9th, and 11th grades and one who has graduated from home school and is a college sophomore. All 5 children have been home schooled from preschool. She has many years of teaching experience in public, private, parochial, and special schools, but her favorite . . . is home school! Her certification is in the areas of special education and remediation. In her column, “Fill in the Blanks”, Darnelle aims to assist parents in finding and then correcting the trouble spots that often cause academic problems and struggles. Children (and their parents) who are freed from the heavy burden of academic struggles can begin to love learning again - just like God intended! Visit her blog, All Things Work Together.

Technorati Tags: Encouragement, learning styles, Special Needs

Don’t Be Afraid to . . . STOP!

Don’t Be Afraid to . . . STOP!

Psychologists and Psychiatrists alike have spent years telling us that it is mentally and emotionally healthy, and very freeing to be honest with ourselves about who we are - who we really are on the inside. Putting forth a ‘fake’ personality for the world to see is not only dishonest, but can cause internal stress and pressure of the worst kind. And so, with that in mind, in the interest of good mental health, and honesty, I’ll just be honest and ’spill it’!

There. I’ve said it. I know, I know, it’s shocking. The kids are so good looking, and they have lots of friends, and they’re awesome musicians, and they have cool hair and they hardly ever trip over their own feet or put tape on their glasses. But, it’s true. If you walk through our home, you won’t move two feet without stepping on some form of Rubik’s Cube (all varieties included: 2×2, 3×3, 4×4, 5×5, spherical, triangular, some with only shades of gray for color - all of which are solved daily - and timed). If you make it past that, you’ll probably trip over my husband’s crossword books (NY Times, of course) or his logic puzzles. Anyone brave enough to keep going will most likely stumble onto the collection of ‘twisted metal’ puzzles - I think there are 10,358 of them in the house. And, on a good day, you’ll find the family standing around a computer working on virtual crossword puzzles and mocking those of us who suggest hitting the “get a hint” button. (Ahem. I should add that I am not a gifted geek. It seems that I only marry them or give birth to them. No, I’m fine. Really)

Yes, anyone who has children, or who reads about children, or who has ever met any children knows that they are curious. It’s no secret that kids love puzzles, they love mysteries, they love to be challenged and then win! They love to solve Rubik’s Cubes and beat their last best time. And then, they run to look for the next challenge, and puzzle and slice of excitement that lies waiting around the corner. What they hate is to be challenged, and then lose. What they find distasteful and disheartening is to continually be faced with challenges that they don’t feel equipped to deal with or solve. And far too often, ‘learning to read’ finds its way into that category. Sometimes, very early on in a child’s education process, ‘learning to read’ becomes a huge, confusing “puzzle” that seems impossible to tackle.

“What’s the big problem in reading? The first problem is that in English there are 26 letters in the alphabet and there are 43 sounds in our spoken language. Now it doesn’t require a rocket scientist to see that some of the letters will have to represent more than one sound.” (Frank Armbruster)

And so our troubles begin. Wouldn’t it be great if for every sound in our spoken language there was only one letter to represent that sound? There would be no having to decide if the “s” sound in a particular word was made by an “s” or a “c”. No trying to determine if the final “k” sound at the end of a word was made by a “c” or a “k”. And don’t even get me started on all the variations of vowel sounds! Yes, it would be nice. One sound - one letter. That works for me. However it isn’t reality. The English language has 26 letters combining to form 43 sounds using rules that often change from word to word. Sometimes the “aw” sound in words is spelled with “aw” as in the word “crawl”, while at other times the “aw” sound is spelled with an “au” as in the word “pause”. The long “a” sound (as in “may”) can be spelled with “a”, “ay”, “ae”, “ai” and “eigh”. The letter “y” can make a consonant AND two vowel sounds. What about the words “boy” and “boil”? Same sound - two different spellings. (Makes you want to take it easy on that 1st grader doesn’t it?)

Another issue that seems to throw even more confusion in the mix, is that some children appear to learn to read with practically no effort at all while others remain somewhat clueless concerning the whole process. When considering beginning readers, we’re forced to acknowledge the fact that not every 5-6 year old is cognitively ready to learn to read at the same time. Also, while some are actually academically “ready” to begin the process, they simply can’t seem to sit still for long enough. (Mom, remember you need BIG doses of mercy and small doses of school with boys in the early grades.)

The reason I make a point to mention all of the previous stumbling blocks to reading success is that they are very common. Many, many young 5 year olds find themselves trapped in a kindergarten book while possessing a 4 year old toddler brain. A majority of kindergarteners and first graders experience brief times of absolute confusion when faced with recognizing the difference between the letters “b” and “d” and even “p” and “q”. Also, a whole host of kids in this age group can be quite sensitive to sugars and food additives that give them excess energy thus preventing genuine concentration or focus.

Sometimes, after weeks or months of struggle and effort on the part of student and parent, frustrations will rise. Mom is frustrated because all of her energies seem to be for naught. Offspring is frustrated because . . . “Reading is too hard.” All of your best laid plans seem to be crumbling at your feet. You’re having recurrent dreams of flagging down the public school bus in the morning and promising the driver cookies if she’ll just take your kid to school - any school.

It is time to give yourself permission to STOP. Stop the lessons, stop the drills, stop the reading, stop the expectations, stop the clock . . . STOP. Take a step back and breathe. Encourage Junior to breathe. Close the books and put them out of sight. Maybe for a week or more. Take whatever time you need to carefully take a long hard look at the situation.

After doing this with one of my own children years ago, I was forced to realize that she simply was not going to be able to continue on in the first grade math book we were using at the time. (It would be two years before I would discover the real “issue” she was having) But, issues aside, she simply was not able to function - at that time - at her “expected” level. Period. All of the tea in China in addition to all of my best efforts, accompanied by every single ’song and dance’ (educationally speaking) I could come up with would not change that fact. So, we stopped. As offensive as the old saying may be, it is true - ‘It’s like beating a dead horse!’ (Not sure why you’d want to do that, but . . . ) It only produces frustration. Nothing else.

During your “STOP” time, simply begin to pray for direction, and start looking for ideas. Entertain the fact that Junior may just need some time to mature. Children who are allowed to wait and start academics when they are truly prepared and mature will be far stronger students in the long run.

And just so ya know, this kind of thing happens in every type of school environment - not just in home schools. I encountered this same situation years ago while teaching in a public school. I inherited a resource class of about 16 students. (All boys except for two - all started school too early when they were not ready for academics - all struggling to read at anywhere NEAR grade level) As a resource teacher, my job was to help them ‘catch up’ as all of them were struggling significantly below grade level in all subject areas. After two or three months of the “usual” methods, I realized we were still making no measurable progress. So . . . we STOPPED!

We put away all of the work they were trying to catch up on, we put away all of the ‘below level readers’ they were still struggling in, we stopped the insanity. I began to test them intensely (yet very informally - ’cause I’m sneaky that way). What I discovered was amazing. In a class of 16 children, only one child truly exhibited any signs of “learning problems” though they were all categorized as “learning disabled.” The problem? None of them - not one, knew all of the letters of the alphabet or all of the sounds the letters made. None of them knew short vowel sounds - to them - every “A” said its long sound. Every “E” said its long sound. No one knew short vowel sounds. Also, each of them had a list of consonants for which they did not know the corresponding sound. Try reading even a second grade book with those kinds of learning gaps! And these children were in the 5th and 6th grades! Of course they appeared to have learning problems!

These kind of problems arise sometimes when children are required to sit in academic settings for which they are not ready. Though the teacher and methods they may have been presented with in kindergarten/first grade might have been excellent, the children were not ready. Because of this, they acquired enough skill to move to the next grade, but not enough skill to become proficient. And the problems stack even higher the following year. Fast forward to 5th/6th grade, and they find themselves in special education classes and resource rooms trying desperately to catch up on mountains of grade level work, yet they can scarcely read.

My public school story has a great ending, though.

After my discovery, we began a campaign to teach these 11,12 and 13 year olds how to read. We started with recognizing the alphabet and ALL of its sounds!! This time, they were ready. Six months later, all but one student tested 3 grade levels higher in reading. TA DA!!!

At this point, anyone can see that there is no magic involved here - only common sense. As a mother/teacher you have all of the “magic” needed to solve most of your brood’s academic situations. Not only do you have the detailed, intimate knowledge of each of your student’s strengths and weaknesses, you have the authority to ‘STOP’ when necessary. You have the freedom to take a breather and assess the direction of your school. You possess internal radar that tells you when a child is reaching levels of frustration that need to be tended to. As parents, you have the responsibility to teach as well as the responsibility not to teach when the situation requires it. It could be the smartest “STOP” you ever make.

Darnelle is a wife and a mother to 5 children: 4 home schoolers who are currently in 3rd, 7th, 9th, and 11th grades and one who has graduated from home school and is a college sophomore. All 5 children have been home schooled from preschool. She has many years of teaching experience in public, private, parochial, and special schools, but her favorite . . . is home school! Her certification is in the areas of special education and remediation. In her column, “Fill in the Blanks”, Darnelle aims to assist parents in finding and then correcting the trouble spots that often cause academic problems and struggles. Children (and their parents) who are freed from the heavy burden of academic struggles can begin to love learning again - just like God intended! Visit her blog, All Things Work Together.

Technorati Tags: Curriculum, Encouragement, Family Life, Methods

Learning Styles

For as long as I live, I will never cease to be amazed at how so many different looking children can come from the same two parents. My husband and I have five children - five very distinctly different looking children. The oldest is very Italian looking, like his father. He has very straight black hair, very dark eyes and dark features. Son #2 two has brown hair, (that was blond-almost white- for years, then got darker) and is extremely curly (ringlets kind of curly). He has light brown eyes, medium skin and features and wears glasses. The third child is a girl with black hair like brother #1, but it’s curly like brother #2. She also has dark skin and eyes and wears glasses. Child #4 is female and has the same features as #2 son, except that her hair is wavy, not curly and was never blond. Baby girl, #5, has straight dark brown hair, light features, freckles and green eyes.

It’s like God was pulling traits from a hat. I just think it’s funny.

And, if those aren’t enough differences, each one possesses a unique personality and a totally different learning style from his/her siblings. (A girl’s gotta have a mean bag of tricks to teach in that kind of home school.)

The phrase ‘learning style’ is used often these days and is simply a catch-all way to express the fact that each child has unique methods by which they are able to absorb and process and remember information.

You’ve probably noticed that while one child seems to love performing his work in workbooks regularly, another child would rather pull his own teeth than sit for even 5 minutes working in a daily workbook. Some children love to employ constant help and intervention while others prefer to work completely independently. Some children memorize things more easily with constant review, while others require every kind of song and dance imaginable to get things to “stick” in their memories.

Learning styles
When I first began home schooling, I purchased a pricey phonics curriculum that required a significant amount of memory work. Son #1 sailed through it with ease and utter enjoyment. (Enjoyment. I said it.) Son #2 wanted to run away from home every time I tried to use that same curriculum with him. It drove him batty (and hence, he drove ME batty.) Lesson learned.
This is the point at which a wise parent/teacher concedes that it might be a good time to investigate the differences in learning styles - and make adjustments. A great first step in that direction is to discover whether your child is, what is often referred to as a ‘right brain’ or ‘left brain’ thinker. Scientists tell us that different parts of our brains are responsible for our abilities to do different things. While the left side of the brain seems to be responsible for our ability to function in all things logical, sequential and rational – the right side allows us to think randomly, intuitively and subjectively.

Most people generally exhibit characteristics that seem to suggest that they use one side of the brain more masterfully (or at least more often) than the other. Since most curriculum is geared toward a more left brain learner (focusing on auditory and sequential aspects, as well as a lot of writing) children who are considered right brain learners often struggle to keep pace though they may be quite intelligent. It makes sense to find out which kind of learner/thinker – left brain or right brain – your child might be. Most people are a combination of the two, though they tend to lean a little more in one direction than the other.

For younger students, consider the following tendencies:

LEFT BRAIN LEARNERS

1. Tends to seek structure in the school day
2. Memorizes best by repetition (auditory or writing)
3. Likes to know the plan for each day, week, etc.
4. Tends to work well independently
5. Likes to make lists, and check them off as tasks are completed
6. Thinks things through with multiple pieces of evidence before coming to a conclusion
7. Tends to find math interesting and is very good at it.
8. Likes the predictability and conciseness of workbooks
9. Can work well within a self-paced computer curriculum

RIGHT BRAIN LEARNERS

1. Likes spontaneous events, versus planned events
2. Memorizes best by using meaning, color, pictures, story and emotion
3. Does not plan ahead regularly
4. Prefers much involvement with parent while doing daily lessons
5. Does not work on items sequentially, but skips around in his/her work
6. Makes quantum leaps when learning - figures things out with little evidence
7. Finds math quite repetitive and somewhat boring
8. Prefers projects and discussions rather than book work
9. Does not do well with self-paced or computer curriculum

For older students, consider the following traits:

LEFT BRAIN CHARACTERISTICS

1. Verbal
2. Responds to word meaning
3. Sequential
4. Processes information linearly
5. Responds to logic
6. Plans ahead
7. Recalls people’s names
8. 8. Speaks with few gestures
9. Punctual
10. Prefers formal study design
11. Prefers bright lights while studying
    

RIGHT BRAIN CHARACTERISTICS

1. Visual
2. Responds to tone of voice
3. Random
4. Processes information in varied order
5. Responds to emotion
6. Impulsive
7. Recalls people’s faces
8. Gestures when speaking
9. Less punctual
10. Prefers sound/music background while studying
11. P
    refers frequent mobility while studying
    

As I mentioned, most curriculum tend to teach to left brain learners. If your child (especially in early elementary grades) shows signs of difficulty with memory skills, focusing and attention OR if he/she has a genuine dislike for “traditional” desk work very early on in the game, OR if the situation has reached a point where your spouse is hearing rumors of an impending mother/child smack down during school hours – then you may want to look into some right brain teaching strategies. The beauty of right brain methods is that both right brain and left brain learners seem to love the techniques and they are very effective for both groups. Here are a few suggestions listed by subject.

SPELLING
- Train child’s photographic memory capability
- Teach the word retrieval technique that spelling bee winners use
- Avoid using writing as main means of learning spelling words
- Use colors and pictures and humor on the letter or letters in a word

VOCABULARY
- Have students draw cartoons to aid in memorizing vocabulary words>
- Make a drawing of the meaning of the word
- Use pre-made vocabulary cartoons by homeschool dad Sam Burchers

MATH
- Teach the problem and answer as a whole rather than in parts
- Use stories, emotion and pictures
- Make visual charts of math processes whenever possible and keep them displayed

PHONICS
- Use color and pictures to make phonics memorable at every opportunity
- Train the brain to store the sound and picture as a unit
- Employ music and/or singing to teach sounds

READING COMPREHENSION
- Train students to change words into pictures when listening and reading
- Teach them how to make a movie in their head as they read to increase comprehension/memory
- Add specific/recognizable music to reading time

WRITING
- Model how to see their whole paper or paragraph before they write it
- Show them how to write only one or two words to remind them of the whole thought
- Don’t correct spelling errors on the paper. Instead, put misspelled words into the next spelling lesson

For space reasons, I have only briefly listed a few suggestions for helping your right brain thinkers with their work. The following is a list of online resources that are packed with detailed information to guide you in creating an atmosphere where your little right brainers (as well as left brainers) will be able to function and excel.

Last thoughts. It is important to remember that struggling learners usually do not learn independently, but need much teacher involvement to be successful. And, don’t forget to pray for the ability to be able to employ some of these techniques regularly and the wisdom to discern exactly where your child’s greatest needs are. God is aware of every detail. Just ask Him!

RESOURCES:

- http://www.web-us.com/brain/braindominance.htm
- Teaching Your Right Brain Child - video by Dianne Craft
- Right Brain Children in a Left Brain World - by Jeffrey Freed
- VocabularyCartoons.com
- http://diannecraft.org/
- Right Brain Math - by Dianne Craft
- Lindamood Phonemic Awareness Program
- Dyslexia: How do I Teach this Child” - by Dianne Craft
- Use Both Sides of the Brain - by Tony Buzan
- http://www.tapestryofgrace.com/

Darnelle is a wife and a mother to 5 children: 4 home schoolers currently in 3rd, 7th, 9th, and 11th grades and one college sophomore. All 5 children have been home schooled from preschool. She has experience teaching in public, private, parochial and special schools but her favorite . . . is home school! Her certification is in the areas of special education and remediation. In her column, “Fill in the Blanks“, Darnelle aims at assisting parents in finding and then correcting trouble spots that often cause academic problems and struggles. Children - and their parents - who are free from the burden of academic struggles, can begin to love learning again, just like God intended! Visit her blog, All Things Work Together.

Technorati Tags: Curriculum, Encouragement, learning styles, Methods

Learning Styles

For as long as I live, I will never cease to be amazed at how so many different looking children can come from the same two parents. My husband and I have five children - five very distinctly different looking children. The oldest is very Italian looking, like his father. He has very straight black hair, very dark eyes and dark features. Son #2 two has brown hair, (that was blond-almost white- for years, then got darker) and is extremely curly (ringlets kind of curly). He has light brown eyes, medium skin and features and wears glasses. The third child is a girl with black hair like brother #1, but it’s curly like brother #2. She also has dark skin and eyes and wears glasses. Child #4 is female and has the same features as #2 son, except that her hair is wavy, not curly and was never blond. Baby girl, #5, has straight dark brown hair, light features, freckles and green eyes.

It’s like God was pulling traits from a hat. I just think it’s funny.

And, if those aren’t enough differences, each one possesses a unique personality and a totally different learning style from his/her siblings. (A girl’s gotta have a mean bag of tricks to teach in that kind of home school.)

The phrase ‘learning style’ is used often these days and is simply a catch-all way to express the fact that each child has unique methods by which they are able to absorb and process and remember information.

You’ve probably noticed that while one child seems to love performing his work in workbooks regularly, another child would rather pull his own teeth than sit for even 5 minutes working in a daily workbook. Some children love to employ constant help and intervention while others prefer to work completely independently. Some children memorize things more easily with constant review, while others require every kind of song and dance imaginable to get things to “stick” in their memories.

Learning styles
When I first began home schooling, I purchased a pricey phonics curriculum that required a significant amount of memory work. Son #1 sailed through it with ease and utter enjoyment. (Enjoyment. I said it.) Son #2 wanted to run away from home every time I tried to use that same curriculum with him. It drove him batty (and hence, he drove ME batty.) Lesson learned.
This is the point at which a wise parent/teacher concedes that it might be a good time to investigate the differences in learning styles - and make adjustments. A great first step in that direction is to discover whether your child is, what is often referred to as a ‘right brain’ or ‘left brain’ thinker. Scientists tell us that different parts of our brains are responsible for our abilities to do different things. While the left side of the brain seems to be responsible for our ability to function in all things logical, sequential and rational – the right side allows us to think randomly, intuitively and subjectively.

Most people generally exhibit characteristics that seem to suggest that they use one side of the brain more masterfully (or at least more often) than the other. Since most curriculum is geared toward a more left brain learner (focusing on auditory and sequential aspects, as well as a lot of writing) children who are considered right brain learners often struggle to keep pace though they may be quite intelligent. It makes sense to find out which kind of learner/thinker – left brain or right brain – your child might be. Most people are a combination of the two, though they tend to lean a little more in one direction than the other.

For younger students, consider the following tendencies:

LEFT BRAIN LEARNERS

1. Tends to seek structure in the school day
2. Memorizes best by repetition (auditory or writing)
3. Likes to know the plan for each day, week, etc.
4. Tends to work well independently
5. Likes to make lists, and check them off as tasks are completed
6. Thinks things through with multiple pieces of evidence before coming to a conclusion
7. Tends to find math interesting and is very good at it.
8. Likes the predictability and conciseness of workbooks
9. Can work well within a self-paced computer curriculum

RIGHT BRAIN LEARNERS

1. Likes spontaneous events, versus planned events
2. Memorizes best by using meaning, color, pictures, story and emotion
3. Does not plan ahead regularly
4. Prefers much involvement with parent while doing daily lessons
5. Does not work on items sequentially, but skips around in his/her work
6. Makes quantum leaps when learning - figures things out with little evidence
7. Finds math quite repetitive and somewhat boring
8. Prefers projects and discussions rather than book work
9. Does not do well with self-paced or computer curriculum

For older students, consider the following traits:

LEFT BRAIN CHARACTERISTICS

1. Verbal
2. Responds to word meaning
3. Sequential
4. Processes information linearly
5. Responds to logic
6. Plans ahead
7. Recalls people’s names
8. 8. Speaks with few gestures
9. Punctual
10. Prefers formal study design
11. Prefers bright lights while studying
    

RIGHT BRAIN CHARACTERISTICS

1. Visual
2. Responds to tone of voice
3. Random
4. Processes information in varied order
5. Responds to emotion
6. Impulsive
7. Recalls people’s faces
8. Gestures when speaking
9. Less punctual
10. Prefers sound/music background while studying
11. Prefers frequent mobility while studying
    

As I mentioned, most curriculum tend to teach to left brain learners. If your child (especially in early elementary grades) shows signs of difficulty with memory skills, focusing and attention OR if he/she has a genuine dislike for “traditional” desk work very early on in the game, OR if the situation has reached a point where your spouse is hearing rumors of an impending mother/child smack down during school hours – then you may want to look into some right brain teaching strategies. The beauty of right brain methods is that both right brain and left brain learners seem to love the techniques and they are very effective for both groups. Here are a few suggestions listed by subject.

SPELLING
- Train child’s photographic memory capability
- Teach the word retrieval technique that spelling bee winners use
- Avoid using writing as main means of learning spelling words
- Use colors and pictures and humor on the letter or letters in a word

VOCABULARY
- Have students draw cartoons to aid in memorizing vocabulary words>
- Make a drawing of the meaning of the word
- Use pre-made vocabulary cartoons by homeschool dad Sam Burchers

MATH
- Teach the problem and answer as a whole rather than in parts
- Use stories, emotion and pictures
- Make visual charts of math processes whenever possible and keep them displayed

PHONICS
- Use color and pictures to make phonics memorable at every opportunity
- Train the brain to store the sound and picture as a unit
- Employ music and/or singing to teach sounds

READING COMPREHENSION
- Train students to change words into pictures when listening and reading
- Teach them how to make a movie in their head as they read to increase comprehension/memory
- Add specific/recognizable music to reading time

WRITING
- Model how to see their whole paper or paragraph before they write it
- Show them how to write only one or two words to remind them of the whole thought
- Don’t correct spelling errors on the paper. Instead, put misspelled words into the next spelling lesson

For space reasons, I have only briefly listed a few suggestions for helping your right brain thinkers with their work. The following is a list of online resources that are packed with detailed information to guide you in creating an atmosphere where your little right brainers (as well as left brainers) will be able to function and excel.

Last thoughts. It is important to remember that struggling learners usually do not learn independently, but need much teacher involvement to be successful. And, don’t forget to pray for the ability to be able to employ some of these techniques regularly and the wisdom to discern exactly where your child’s greatest needs are. God is aware of every detail. Just ask Him!

RESOURCES:

- http://www.web-us.com/brain/braindominance.htm
- Teaching Your Right Brain Child - video by Dianne Craft
- Right Brain Children in a Left Brain World - by Jeffrey Freed
- VocabularyCartoons.com
- http://diannecraft.org/
- Right Brain Math - by Dianne Craft
- Lindamood Phonemic Awareness Program
- Dyslexia: How do I Teach this Child” - by Dianne Craft
- Use Both Sides of the Brain - by Tony Buzan
- http://www.tapestryofgrace.com/

Darnelle is a wife and a mother to 5 children: 4 home schoolers currently in 3rd, 7th, 9th, and 11th grades and one college sophomore. All 5 children have been home schooled from preschool. She has experience teaching in public, private, parochial and special schools but her favorite . . . is home school! Her certification is in the areas of special education and remediation. In her column, “Fill in the Blanks“, Darnelle aims at assisting parents in finding and then correcting trouble spots that often cause academic problems and struggles. Children - and their parents - who are free from the burden of academic struggles, can begin to love learning again, just like God intended! Visit her blog, All Things Work Together.

Technorati Tags: Encouragement, homeschooling, learning styles, Methods

Are You A “Real” Homeschool Mom?

Are You A “Real” Homeschool Mom?

Are you a “real” homeschool mom or do you always put your best foot forward when you are in the presence of moms that you think have mastered the art of homeschooling?

I have news for you. They aren’t perfect either!

I always get so amused when I hear other moms talk about how they “love” to homeschool and how everything always works out so great for them. I often wonder what it would be like to visit their home on a week day. I mean we know that mom wouldn’t screech in horror because the house isn’t clean. She definitely wouldn’t send the kids off to their rooms because they are still in their pajamas. And she absolutely wouldn’t throw the textbooks in a cabinet to give the impression that school time had been completed hours earlier because we all know she gets up at the crack of dawn every day!

No, siree, Not our homeschool moms. We all have our act together!

Or do we?

I can honestly say that if anyone thinks that we (the cabinet, book hiding, wake up at 9ish, send the kids to their room to get dressed so we look like a good homeschool family people) have it all together they are truly mistaken.

Sure, I have heard the praise from many mothers who like to compliment me on how well mannered my boys are and how well they behave. What they don’t see is that I am holding their favorite toy hostage to insure their behavior so that mom and dad can have a stress free time.

OK. OK. So my boys really are well mannered and I don’t hold toys hostage for good public behavior. This is actually one of their good points but don’t dare ask me about their room! Or the fact that the “baby” is wearing his brother’s clothes because he keeps putting his clean clothes in the laundry room and I now refuse to wash them.

And please, please, please don’t ask me about the moans and groans I get when I mention it is school time, which usually starts around 12:30 (no eye-rolling!)

Now once we get started they are usually gung ho about science projects and civil war reenactments but that is only after I bribe them with M&Ms to complete their math work. I know, I know… BAD MOM!

Jeepers. I guess I shouldn’t mention that I only actually cook breakfast once a week and the rest of the time they eat cereal. I assume I should also keep it a secret that my almost 7 year old hardly ever completes anything and I don’t try to make him.

I cannot fathom that I am the only homeschooling mom out there who goes through this. Is it really all hunky dory? Should I be wearing a retro pattern and singing, “The fields are alive with the sound of music…”?

Am I the only one who has actually considered enrolling the kids in public school just long enough to get the house clean and teach them just how good they have it at home?

Don’t get me wrong. I love the idea of homeschooling but on some days it’s the act of it that brings out the worst in me and my family.

I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.
Romans 7:21-25

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work.
Genesis 2:2

Amy is the happy wife of one amazing man and she is a 3rd year homeschooling mom to three energetic boys. In her column “Effective Education”, she writes about the eclectic teachings that bring a glimmer of curiosity to the eyes of her sons and a bit of hope to moms. Be sure to visit her blog, In Pursuit of Proverbs 31.

Technorati Tags: christian living, Encouragement, Family Life, Scripture

Are You A “Real” Homeschool Mom?

Are You A “Real” Homeschool Mom?

Are you a “real” homeschool mom or do you always put your best foot forward when you are in the presence of moms that you think have mastered the art of homeschooling?

I have news for you. They aren’t perfect either!

I always get so amused when I hear other moms talk about how they “love” to homeschool and how everything always works out so great for them. I often wonder what it would be like to visit their home on a week day. I mean we know that mom wouldn’t screech in horror because the house isn’t clean. She definitely wouldn’t send the kids off to their rooms because they are still in their pajamas. And she absolutely wouldn’t throw the textbooks in a cabinet to give the impression that school time had been completed hours earlier because we all know she gets up at the crack of dawn every day!

No, siree, Not our homeschool moms. We all have our act together!

Or do we?

I can honestly say that if anyone thinks that we (the cabinet, book hiding, wake up at 9ish, send the kids to their room to get dressed so we look like a good homeschool family people) have it all together they are truly mistaken.

Sure, I have heard the praise from many mothers who like to compliment me on how well mannered my boys are and how well they behave. What they don’t see is that I am holding their favorite toy hostage to insure their behavior so that mom and dad can have a stress free time.

OK. OK. So my boys really are well mannered and I don’t hold toys hostage for good public behavior. This is actually one of their good points but don’t dare ask me about their room! Or the fact that the “baby” is wearing his brother’s clothes because he keeps putting his clean clothes in the laundry room and I now refuse to wash them.

And please, please, please don’t ask me about the moans and groans I get when I mention it is school time, which usually starts around 12:30 (no eye-rolling!)

Now once we get started they are usually gung ho about science projects and civil war reenactments but that is only after I bribe them with M&Ms to complete their math work. I know, I know… BAD MOM!

Jeepers. I guess I shouldn’t mention that I only actually cook breakfast once a week and the rest of the time they eat cereal. I assume I should also keep it a secret that my almost 7 year old hardly ever completes anything and I don’t try to make him.

I cannot fathom that I am the only homeschooling mom out there who goes through this. Is it really all hunky dory? Should I be wearing a retro pattern and singing, “The fields are alive with the sound of music…”?

Am I the only one who has actually considered enrolling the kids in public school just long enough to get the house clean and teach them just how good they have it at home?

Don’t get me wrong. I love the idea of homeschooling but on some days it’s the act of it that brings out the worst in me and my family.

I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ our Lord. So you see how it is: In my mind I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature I am a slave to sin.
Romans 7:21-25

By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work.
Genesis 2:2

Amy is the happy wife of one amazing man and she is a 3rd year homeschooling mom to three energetic boys. In her column “Effective Education”, she writes about the eclectic teachings that bring a glimmer of curiosity to the eyes of her sons and a bit of hope to moms. Be sure to visit her blog, In Pursuit of Proverbs 31.

Technorati Tags: christian living, Encouragement, Family Life, Scripture

Vision Therapy: From Skeptic to Cheerleader

Vision Therapy:

From Skeptic to Cheerleader

Get Back Here! I know what you’re thinking . . .

Vision Therapy? Why in the world would I care about THAT?”

WAIT! Let me ask you not to move on just yet. I understand that the topic of “Vision Therapy” sounds remote and weird and totally unrelated to any home school problems you may be having. I understand, because 8 years ago I said the very same thing (only with a know-it-all, condescending little attitude.) And, because I DIDN’T look into it as soon as I could have, I very nearly paid a price that no parent wants to pay. So, humor me, for just a minute and stick around.

First, let me say that the main purpose of this column, Fill In The Blanks, is to encourage and equip parents who are trying to teach a child who is struggling to make academic progress. As most parents and teachers know, these struggles can be caused by a long list of situations such as:

* simple immaturity - they’re just not ready Mom (I had a child like this.)

* limited attention span - boys ages 4-9 are stunningly famous for this (I had a child like this, too.)

* dietary situations - for example: SUGAR (Dear Lord did I ever have one like this!)

* specific, tightly defined - and maybe undiscovered - learning style - (5 kids, 5 learning styles)

So whether you are dealing with a third grader who can’t spell, a fourth grader who can’t read, a fifth grader with comprehension issues, or a junior high student with abstract math problems, the root cause or causes can be, and probably are, varied and inter-related. In future articles, we are going to tackle these issues and more - in great detail.

However, I would not be able to sleep at night if I didn’t first address a situation that (if present in your child) will most certainly undermine your every attempt to help them , regardless of what academic “symptoms” they are displaying.

Let me explain.

When my daughter started first grade, she made some progress - some. I had enough experience to know that she probably just needed more time to mature. Time did not help. By the time she was 8 1/2, she was no further along in school than she had been two years prior. Her 6 year old sister could read circles around her. No matter what I tried - nothing. One minute she could read a word, the next, it was as if she’d never seen it. One day she could add two digit numbers, the next day, she was all over the page. Her writing was crammed together without any hint of spaces between words. She understood and even remembered letter sounds and phonics rules, and could explain them to me, but could not apply them to written words. By this time, she cried every time she thought it was time for school . Her personality changed, she withdrew. She began to cry if I walked two feet away from her at dance class. She wanted to play on the softball team, but would fold into tears during games in confusion. And she couldn’t explain any of it to me.

Because my background is in special education/remediation, I tested her up one side and down the other, and I can tell you that 2 + 2 never came close to being 4. Nothing that was going on with her made any sense at all and I had done everything I knew to do. Having her tested by “experts” in the school system would only get a label for her and would not solve the problem.

Then I remembered an article I’d read by a local optometrist about something she called - Learning Related Vision Problems. The article stated that children with certain “vision” problems would struggle in school in various ways and she listed these “ways”. My daughter displayed 19 out of 20 of the symptoms! But, I reasoned, that because she already wore glasses (since the age of 4) that her problems could not possibly be visual.

Now, skip to me, months later in that very doctor’s office, forking out good money for my daughter to be “evaluated”. In my heart of hearts I believed this was a complete waste of time. The kid wore glasses already, for Pete’s sake! How could all of her issues be related to vision? But I had run out of options, and I needed to feel like I was doing something! As I sat in the waiting room - for two hours - I became even more confused when I began to read the “Testimonials” book compiled by parents whose children had experienced ‘vision therapy’. On page after page, parent after parent, went on and on about how “vision therapy” changed their child’s life. They spoke of children “coming out of their shells”, and excelling in school, and enjoying studying and reading. They spoke of being desperate to help their children, who by all accounts, were crashing and burning just like my daughter had been. “How in the world” I asked my self, “is any of this possible? She’s not blind - she wears glasses! This is all too weird.” I wanted to leave, but I really had no where else to look.

Days later, back in the doctor’s office, I received a diagnosis. They found her to be a “Level 2″ therapy needs patient. She had double vision at 18 inches, (from her eyes) and also at several yards away. To be able to see a single image, she had to strain her eyes at a level she couldn’t maintain for more than a few seconds (much like if you or I would “cross” our eyes and try to hold it - ouch!) She had little control over being able to change focus from near to far and vice versa. She was unable to track objects (or words!) in any direction for more than a few seconds. In short, she had very little control of the muscles controlling her eyes.

Then the doctor told me how this diagnosis “looked” from my daughter’s point of view. When she looked at written work (books, letters, word cards, mom’s handwriting, etc.) all she saw was a jumble of squiggles. Because her eyes did not work together, each eye saw its own image - double vision. She never saw individual letters, much less words on a page, much less spaces between words, much less punctuation! Trying to focus, for seconds at a time, made her dizzy, nauseous, and full of dread concerning anything related to school. In a crowd, her double vision at a distance, magnified the crowd, and she would lose sight of me as soon as I stepped away. In dance class, with mirrored walls, it was even worse. On the softball field, sometimes she saw one ball coming toward her, sometimes she saw two. Though she “understood” everything that had ever been taught/told to her, what she “saw” never matched what she heard - she wasn’t seeing what the world saw. Confusion reigned supreme in her little mind and she had no way to explain it. So she withdrew, and cried and displayed strange behavior and had meltdowns.

I don’t remember how long I cried after the doctor explained it all to us. I just remember promising God that if He would heal her heart of all of the confusion, that we would do our part and commit to the months of therapy. He did, and we did. Within the first two months of therapy, she began to change. As her double vision changed, for the first time, to single vision, she began to be able to explain the changes that were happening. I cried. At times her therapist would shed some light on how and why my sweet daughter said and did things that made no sense. As therapy continued, all - ALL of those problems and behaviors vanished. Today she is a 15 year old high school student who would rather read than eat. She is reading The Chronicles of Narnia for the 100th time, she draws, knits hats and scarves, plays guitar and makes A’s and B’s in Algebra - without crying. And if she loses me in a crowd these days, trust me, it’s because she’s trying to.

I want to say that never once, as a small child, did she ever run into walls, or stumble a lot, or anything else that would lead us to even imagine that she had any vision problems that were not solved by her glasses. She learned to walk at 9 months, talked early and hit every milestone a parent would expect. There were simply no clues until her academics demanded visual attention that she couldn’t give. As a former special education teacher, I can tell you, that NO ONE would have known what to do with her, because this type of vision screening is not normally done. An optometrist can not find these problems by looking into a child’s eyes with his/her equipment. They must be specifically evaluated using techniques that are unique to an optometrist trained in diagnosing such situations. Remember, my daughter, and many others like her, had been professionally, medically treated for their “vision” problems. This means that they are given glasses to accommodate for the inability of the muscles controlling the lenses of the eye. This corrected the “blurriness” of what she saw, but didn’t change the fact that she saw two of everything - something caused by a totally different set of eye muscles.
Anywho, years later, I went through the training myself, and worked as a vision therapist for the very same doctor. I just can’t tell you how many times I sat with crying parents who were just discovering that their precious child had been struggling in school for years with an undetected, weirdo eye problem. And then, months later, we always were the best of friends as they perceived that I had worked some miracle in their child’s life. I’ve seen it happen so many times, but it NEVER got old!

So, you can see that, no matter how brilliant a teacher I may have been (very funny, I know), no matter how much effort I might have exerted, no matter how many methods I could have experimented with, my little girl would still be struggling to this day, had her vision not been properly taken care of. She’d still have double vision, little success in school, unexplainable fears, and probably a few nice “labels” like, dyslexic, ADD, learning disabled and a host of other things dragging her down and trying to convince her that she was dumb and unable to become all that God had planned for her.

No, Thank You.

I will leave you with links to a couple of awesome web sites that are good starting places for anyone with more questions.

http://www.advancedeyecenter.com/vision_therapy.html

http://www.visiontherapystories.org/

Take some time and really look around these sites. They are filled with lots of information along with many, many success stories. And, if it turns out that you never have these particular needs in your family, then just keep this information in your back pocket for someone else. But, trust me, if you ever find yourself in my situation, and some of you will, you’ll be thanking God for this “long-winded article you read way-back-when in that home school magazine.”

Most of all - and I can’t stress this enough - pray, pray, pray! Our creator, the One who knows how many hairs are on your head, knows exactly what is going on with that child of yours - in detail - and He’s talking! Ask Him.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all . . . , and it will be given to him.” James 1:5

Finally, don’t forget to write me - so we can cry together - and then later, do the happy dance!

Blessings!

Darnelle is a wife and a mother to 5 children: 4 home schoolers currently in 3rd, 7th, 9th, and 11th grades and one college sophomore. All 5 children have been home schooled from preschool. She has experience teaching in public, private, parochial and special schools but her favorite . . . is home school! Her certification is in the areas of special education and remediation. In her column, “Fill in the Blanks“, Darnelle aims at assisting parents in finding and then correcting trouble spots that often cause academic problems and struggles. Children - and their parents - who are free from the burden of academic struggles, can begin to love learning again, just like God intended! Visit her blog, All Things Work Together.

Technorati Tags: Encouragement, homeschooling, learning styles, Methods, Special Needs

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