%post_title% | Heart of the Matter |

June 7, 2008 By Guest 1 Comment

One of the things I have loved about homeschooling has been the teaching moments that are present throughout the entire day. Although I know that teachable moments happen for those who do not homeschool, I personally love having such a great amount of input into my children’s lives. I guess that you could consider that one of the “benefits” of homeschooling. These teaching times do include academics, but I am thinking more of the times throughout the day when we are able to stop and talk about the “life lessons” and issues that come up as we are living our lives.

Living with and teaching two teenagers brings with it deeper issues as they ask questions and learn to think for themselves. It is my responsibility to point my children to the Word of God and to help them come to conclusions about how to apply what they find. I need to help them search the Scriptures to find the answers, rather than give them a quick answer, share my opinion, or just let them figure things out for themselves. It may take a lot of time to teach them and even be exhausting, but I find that taking the time to talk these things out, listen to their thoughts, and help them form their own conclusions helps to strengthen our relationship.

Over the years I have seen various issues cause conflict and division in families, because they did not work together. As I observed different families over the years, my question has been, “How can I avoid fighting with my children over these issues, and actually turn them around and use them to bring us together?” Although we have been far from perfect in handling this, God has been teaching us how this can be accomplished.

One of the issues I’ve seen cause conflict has been what style of clothing teens are allowed to wear. My daughter and I went shopping with another mom and her daughter a few years ago. The entire time we were shopping they argued about clothing. The daughter whined, and the mother responded in exasperation. Ultimately the mom gave in to what her daughter wanted, and not much was learned that day except that the daughter saw that if she cried enough she would get her way. (My daughter and I learned that we didn’t really want to go shopping with them again!)

As I have observed many similar scenarios over the years, the prayerful conclusion that I have reached is that it doesn’t have to be that way! I’ve also seen that it is not wise for me to dictate to my children what they should wear. They are unique and have their own tastes. I need to leave room for that as well. So we talk. What does the Bible say about modesty? Read about it. Come up with, or find, some guidelines that can be followed as you are choosing clothing. What about extremes? Do we want to draw attention to ourselves by wearing extreme styles? That would be one “rule” we have. We want to encourage our children by allowing them to have their own taste and letting them be who they were made to be, while not being given to extremes. We are helping them learn how to present themselves to others in a God-glorifying way. We share with them that we don’t want them to dress in a sloppy fashion because we are representing our Lord.

After we come up with guidelines that we feel are best, we try to go shopping as a family, if possible. We allow them to choose the clothes that they like, as long as it glorifies God and they follow the few guidelines that we have come up with. They are also reminded that we reserve the right as parents to give suggestions. There have been a few times when one of my children chose something that I didn’t particularly care for because it just wasn’t my taste, but they were sincerely following the guidelines we had all come up with, so I stayed quiet and allowed them to purchase it. Working together in this way has made clothes shopping a fun time, rather than a time of conflict.

The other issue that I’ve seen bring division in families is choosing music. I have seen two approaches: Either parents saying “no” to anything that isn’t classical music or hymns, or parents just let children have “their own music” and give them very little, if any, guidance in choosing it. The parents show no interest. We haven’t felt comfortable with either approach. Again, each child is unique and has different tastes. We want to give them some freedom to choose, but we need to help them learn how discern what is glorifying to God. So we get involved.

When one of them decides they like a certain song or group, we sit together and we look up the group on the internet. What are the lyrics saying? Can you HEAR the lyrics? What kind of testimony does the group have? What kind of music videos, if any, have they made? Are they glorifying to God? Do they seek to draw attention to themselves or do they cause you to focus on God and worship? Do the lyrics cause me to think about things that are pure? Do they help me in my walk with God, or hinder me by promoting a worldly philosophy of life or romance? As we help them answer these questions they are learning to choose for themselves music that glorifies God. It has also been interesting for me to sit and help them evaluate different groups and songs, as it has helped me to actually appreciate and enjoy styles of music I never enjoyed before! We also like to listen to music as a family as much as possible. As my husband and I have gotten involved in this way and shown interest in what they like, it has drawn us together rather than pushing us apart!

Teaching our children is so much more than “doing school.” It is taking the time to guide them and teaching them how to be discerning so they can learn to think biblically…for themselves. It doesn’t have to be a battle. It can be such a blessing!!!

Gina is the mom of two high schoolers, a freshman and a Senior. In her column “Reaching High,” she shares the many lessons that God has taught her and her family, as they have sought Him through the years. Visit her at her blog, Chats with An Old Lady.

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May 7, 2008 By Guest 5 Comments

I have had many homeschool moms ask me this question. What DO you do if your child decides he wants to “go to school?” My answer is…I can’t answer that for you!

Let me explain.

We live in an amazing country. I am very grateful that for some reason, God saw fit to have me “be born” in this country that offers such opportunity and freedom. When it comes to educating our children we have several options to choose from. I think that is wonderful! Right now our children have such incredible opportunities and resources, and if we want, we can fit their education to meet their exact needs.

As parents we need to be praying diligently over our children and ask God what is the best fit for our children. Some children may thrive in a public school setting, some in a private school, and some in a home school. God knows which is best for them. That is why we need to FIRST consult HIM, and be open to how He may lead us.

Each family, and each child, is unique and may do things a little differently. One thing that we need to be careful about not doing is having our own philosophy or agenda, and forcing our kids to fit into a particular mold. There are many books, organizations, and websites out there that tell us that a “godly person” should homeschool. They may tell us how we should look and dress, and even what kind of music we should listen to. It is very important that we be sensitive to our children, their uniqueness and tastes, as well as how God has made them. Over the years I have observed some very frustrated children as their well meaning parents tried to follow a philosophy or curriculum that did not “fit” their child, and tried to force them into a particular mold. I have also seen some children who have had expectations forced on them by their parents. It seemed as if the children were not allowed to be unique or to be “in process.”

All this to say that I cannot tell you what to do with your child, only God can. I do not know what is best, but God does. If your child comes to you one day and expresses that he wants to go to school, maybe it is time to evaluate whether or not his needs are being met. Ask him why he wants to go to school. If there is something he feels he is missing out on, like sports, an activity, or even friendship, make sure he knows that you HEAR HIM and that you will begin praying about how that need might be met. If our children know we are listening to them, on their side and sensitive to what they are feeling, it makes such a difference.

Start to pray about the areas that you child has expressed interest in. Investigate how these needs might be met through church or community activities. There are so many opportunities out there now for homeschoolers that I don’t think that we need to just automatically put them in school, although that might happen eventually if the Lord leads that way.

Just this year my son, who is 14, began expressing that there were a few things he wished he could do. He didn’t necessarily wish he could go to school, but he was feeling that something was lacking. I told him that I would begin to pray about those things and I started to do some research. I even talked with my husband about the possibility of putting him in school next year. We didn’t want to, but we thought we should at least be open to that. As we’ve prayed, God has opened some wonderful doors of opportunity for our son. When that happens, I make sure to point out how God provides for him. He has seen his parents actively praying and trusting God, and he has seen God provide for him. I think that is exciting!

My daughter has gone through times when she has wished she had more friends. Of course my mother’s heart has hurt for her. I could manipulate things and make it happen, but down deep I know that if it isn’t a Godsend, it will not be good for her. I have prayed. I also went to a godly older woman for council. What she shared with me made so much sense. She told me that her (now grown) daughter went through a time when she would come home from school in tears because she didn’t have a good friend. There were also times when she did have closer friends. She said that those times that her daughter didn’t have close friends were the times that God used to cause them to become very close as mother and daughter. It is fun to watch this woman and her grown daughter as they are very close, even though the daughter is married with a child. I have been seeing this happen in my own relationship with my daughter, and am very grateful and see such wisdom in God withholding friendship in her life at times. Think about what we would be missing out if I were always trying to provide friendships for my daughter. It would have hindered what God wanted to do.

It is so important to pray over your children’s needs. If we rush to meet a perceived need without consulting God, it might end up being a bad thing. If we wait on the Lord and leave it to Him, He will make it clear what He wants to fill our children’s lives with. He loves them even more than we do. Of course He will do what is best for them!

If you’ve done your research and have prayed, and you still see areas of need in your child’s life, maybe it is time to consider putting them in school. I don’t know. Only God can tell you that for sure. Pray like crazy. Give God time to make it clear. You can be sure He will!

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April 8, 2008 By Guest 3 Comments

SO WHAT ABOUT SOCIALIZATION?…AND OTHER QUESTIONS ASKED ABOUT HOMESCHOOLING!
(This is part 3 in a 3 part series.)

HOW SHOULD WE RESPOND TO CRITICISM AND QUESTIONS?

Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.”
I Peter 2:23 “…and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered not threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously.”

I have found that some people are just not open to the idea of homeschooling and there really is nothing that can be said to change their minds. In those cases I have learned that it is best to be quiet. There are some cases where people know very little about homeschooling, and are genuinely interested in what I am doing. Some might feel intimidated by what they see us doing. Whatever the reason may be, people seem to have a lot of questions, and can be very outspoken about the subject!

Having said all that, we must remember that any comment or criticism that we may encounter is something that God has allowed in to our lives, and we have the responsibility to respond in a God-honoring fashion. We have the responsibility to evaluate the criticism and sift out any truth that there might be in it. This can be hard to do because many times criticism is not given in a way that is loving or considerate. Though people may step over the line with their comments and opinions, and maybe even focus on the potential negatives of home schooling, it can provide a good opportunity for us to go before the Lord and evaluate what we are doing.

Most importantly we need to pray! We must be aware of the challenges that may come with homeschooling, and pray for God to open up our eyes to the needs of our children, not just academically, but socially and spiritually. It can be helpful to find an objective, supportive person who loves your family, and ask them if they see any areas in our children’s lives that may need work. I have done that over the years, and it has been such a help to us! Others can see things that we do not!

As always, we need to remember that all we do should be done “…to the glory of God”
(1 Corinthians 10:31). This includes how we respond to the criticisms and questions concerning homeschooling. THESE THINGS CAN ACTUALLY MAKE US MORE EFFECTIVE AS HOMESCHOOLERS! We can be THANKFUL, even for the criticism, as He uses it for
HIS GOOD,
HIS PURPOSE,
and HIS GLORY!!

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March 8, 2008 By Guest Leave a Comment

SO WHAT ABOUT SOCIALIZATION?…AND OTHER QUESTIONS ASKED ABOUT HOMESCHOOLING!
(This is part 2 in a 3 part series.)

THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE. I’M GONNA LET IT SHINE!

Matt. 5:13-16 “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how will it be made salty again? It is good for nothing anymore, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men. You are the light of the world. a city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do men light a lamp and put it under the peck measure, but on the lampstand; and gives light to all who are in the house. Let you light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven.”

~”Aren’t we called to be “salt and light”?

I can’t tell you how many times I have had someone say this to me. Each time someone has said to me “Aren’t we called to be salt and light?”, I have felt a little stab in my heart because it can cause me to feel as though I am being a neglectful parent, and not teaching my children how to live out and share their faith. Because my desire is to be a parent that is obedient to God’s Word, I desire that they learn what it means to be “salt and light,” and be ready to practice it as they are given opportunity. It can be very insulting to have this accusation thrown your way.

I have had a few people actually get irritated with me as they have told me that my kids need to be “salt and light!” I actually had a man say this to me once, “Home schooling parents are a bunch of lazy parents who don’t want to teach their children how to be ‘out there’ and live out their faith!” After my husband pulled the dagger out of my heart and picked me up off the floor, I walked around for quite awhile feeling somewhat wounded! He hadn’t bothered to ASK how we are teaching our children to be “salt and light.” He had just assumed that they weren’t learning it because they aren’t in the public school system!

For me, this is the hardest accusation to “swallow,” because it is a very serious accusation. But the Holy Spirit prompts me to just be silent, AS HARD AS THAT IS, to evaluate how our children are learning to be “salt and light,” and then seek the Lord’s guidance for how He wants my children to learn to be “salt and light.”

In order for salt or light to be useful there has to be interaction or contact with its environment. If anyone were to take the time to think through this argument thoroughly, I believe that they would be able to see that there are multiple ways that a person can be “salt and light.” Although being a student in the public school system can be one way, there are so many other ways in our day-to-day life to interact with and be a light in this world! But FIRST it must be modeled by US as parents.

A friend told me that, “every time you walk out your front door, you are on the mission field.” That is so true. If we can start to teach our children this concept, and look for ways to reach out and to be an example to those around us as we go through our day, our children will learn how to be a “salt and light.” What about when we go to the store, or out to eat, or to get our hair cut, or fill our car with gas, or play on a sports team, or interact with relatives that aren’t Christians/or aren’t living for the Lord? Whenever we come in contact with people – customers, sales clerks, cashiers, waitresses, teammates, parents of teammates – we are in contact with people whom we can reach out to, talk to, share with, and live out our testimony before. I keep New Testaments in my purse, because at times I have felt the Lord prompting me to give one to a sales clerk or someone I have spoken to. I buy some products from a lady who is not a Christian. So, at Christmas time, with my daughter’s help, I made up a little gift bag for her with coffee, chocolate, a candle…and put a New Testament in there as well.

There are so many ways you can reach out to those around you, and teach your children how to live that life as well (socialization + being a light!!) Then, as they find themselves in situations with teammates, coaches, or friends, you can help them think how to reach out and share their faith. But we must be living it first. I like to think of myself of a sort of “coach” in this regard. The fact that we do so many things together gives us ample opportunity to be “salt and light” together. I love it when one of my children has done something that stood out, and was a testimony, and I can say to them, “You did such a great job being an example in that situation!”

Although as believers we are all called to be “salt and light,” we as parents have the awesome opportunity and responsibility to live that calling before our children, and guide them in their calling as they grow and mature in their faith, so that when they are grown they have learned what it means to live that out, and can teach their children the same. As homeschoolers, we can pray for God to open our eyes to how we can be a light and how we can teach our children to be “salt and light.” Then we can pray that God would provide opportunities for our children to practice what they are learning. It is exciting to see God’s timing and His wonderfully unique ways for using our family as part of His plan.

As hurtful as some of these comments can be, they can still be opportunities for us to evaluate how we are doing in the area of teaching and providing opportunities for our children to learn this most important life lesson!

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February 8, 2008 By Guest 1 Comment

“SO WHAT ABOUT SOCIALIZATION?”…AND OTHER QUESTIONS ASKED ABOUT HOMESCHOOLING!

Whenever we go out and someone asks my children where they go to school, or what grade they are in, I mentally cover my head, and wait for the “bomb to drop“! For some reason, when it comes to the subject of homeschooling, people feel they have the freedom to tell you what they think you should do, and what your children need… even if they are total strangers! If you have been homeschooling for any amount of time, you have more than likely faced some type of criticism or questioning. It seems to just come with the territory. Over the years, I have had more comments, questions, and criticism than I can count regarding our choice to home school. Family members, acquaintances, and even people I don’t know. I’m not sure that I’ll ever get to the point where this doesn’t bother me, but I guess I just have gotten used to it.

I’ve had questions like:

“Do your children have FRIENDS?”
“What about socialization?”
“How do you teach them every subject? Do you know everything?”
“How do you have the patience for that? I could NEVER do it!”
“Well, don’t your kids need to get out SOMETIME?
“What if your kids want to play sports?”
“Aren’t we called to be “salt and light”?

SO WHAT ABOUT SOCIALIZATION????

So, what about socialization? What about all the other questions that people ask us? How can we face these issues that could be potential obstacles in our children’s lives?

I would like to offer some thoughts…although certainly not the “final word”…on some of the more common “arguments” that people have confronted me with concerning homeschooling.
~”Do your children have FRIENDS?”
~”Well, don’t your kids need to get out SOME TIME?!

I have to be honest. There have been times when I have been asked these questions, and there is something within me that wants to blurt out something like, “No. We don’t believe in having friends. We lock our children in a rubber room and shut all the curtains!” …but that wouldn’t be a very godly response! I am happy to report that I have never answered that way! But, it does seem a little bit like a “no brainer” that there ARE other ways to make friends other than in school!

I grew up attending the public school system in my home town. That did not guarantee that I had a lot of friends! I was a Christian, and I didn’t party or do much of what most of the kids in school did in their spare time. As much as I tried to be friendly, and be a testimony in school, most of my friends…I mean my ‘companions’…were kids I met at church, or church-type organizations. I just didn’t have much in common with the kids at school. Even though you may home school, your children CAN still have friends, and good ones at that.

I think that friendships are important for our children in many ways, as long as they are kept in the right balance. It gives them opportunity to learn how to interact with others, work through conflicts, and to be an example (socialization!). Being involved with other children can help them learn how to relate to others who are different than they are.

Even though developing friendships can be a good thing for our children, when not done carefully and prayerfully (and with OUR guidance), they can turn into something that is very dishonoring to God. I recently spoke with a mother who had a teenage daughter. She was sharing that her daughter ignores her family and is completely consumed with her friends. She saw it as “normal teen behaviour“! I’ve seen that happen in a few families. It saddens me to see teens that are consumed with their friends to the point of being glued to the cell phone, computer, and always having to go somewhere. As I have observed this over the years, it has caused me to pray about how to avoid this with our children. It may be considered “normal teen behaviour“, but I think it would be better labeled “self centered, sinful, teen behaviour“!

As home schoolers, we may have to make an extra effort to make sure our children have time with their friends. It requires more from us, but it is worth it. We need to be willing to drive them to the special events that are offered, even if it means that we give up some of our own time.

I have learned, from observing and listening to the wise counsel of my pastor’s wife, that my door should always be open to my children’s friends. I need to make our home the “happening place“!! I try to have a brownie mix, hot chocolate, or something like that in the house all the time. If my children have friends over for a meal, I often will ask the friend what their favorite meal is, and I’ll make it for them. My daughter had her friend Kristy over, and her favorite breakfast was blueberry muffins. I made blueberry muffins, and renamed them “Kristy muffins”! She loved it. The whole time she was here, we told her we were having a “Kristy party’!

I want my children’s friends to know they are always welcome, and when they come, I make it a party! Not only does it give our children times with their friends, it helps to nurture MY relationship with my children. We need to invest a huge amount of ourselves in nurturing a relationship with our own children, and encouraging them so that they WANT to be home. As important as outside friendships may be for our children, I think that it is more important for them to have a good relationship with us.

It is our job to pursue them.

Be there. Go to every sporting event they are involved in. Go to their concerts. Be a volunteer coach of their team. Always be the involved parent. One of the potential benefits of homeschooling is the amount of time we have with our children to nurture a relationship, take the time to do that! Take breaks and make them a snack. Take the time to talk with them. Take them on dates.

Show interest in their interests. We can create a bond with our

children, so that there is more of a balance when it comes to them wanting to spend time with their friends, but we have to work to make that happen. PURSUE YOUR KIDS! You are the best friend they could ever have! Then…PURSUE THEIR FRIENDS! Let their friends know you love them and they are always welcome. It is worth the time, and effort…and even a few late nights of watching movies until 1:30!

I believe that our children can enjoy friendships, and we can teach our children the importance of not “dumping” their family and becoming consumed with friends. We need to do both! When we see that happening in others lives, we can point it out to them and explain that is not the right way. We can be talking about all of these things with our children as we live with them through out the day. It will pay off in the end if we invest the time to talk with them, pursue them, and build our relationship with them and with their friends. This is my goal, and what I am praying for in our family.

~”What about socialization?”
so·cial·i·za·tion . “The process of learning interpersonal and interactional skills that are in conformity with the values of one’s society.”

As I look around our society there is no doubt in my mind that my goal is NOT to have my children conform to the values of their society, or learn to communicate with others in the way that we see as the norm now days! If you observe most children in the grocery store or teens in any group, you will not find many who hold a standard to look up to! And yet it seems that we are regularly asked the question about socialization. If our children don’t “fit in” with what is out there, they are seen as “weird” or “not socialized”.

The Word of God should be the standard held up as to how our children should interact with others, not our society. Yes, they will be different, but that is what we are called to be. Having said all of that, it is important that they learn basic manners and communication skills and that they be given opportunities to use what they are learning in different environments, as God provides activities for them. We can’t keep them in the house and expect that they will be able to practice what we teach them, or learn to stand up against the pressures that are out there. I love what my friend Lori shared with me recently-

“Home schooling allows me to monitor socialization better than if they
were absent from me for those 8 hours a day. My goal is not to ‘shelter’ them
forever, just PREPARE their hearts for that REAL secular world that they are not
prepared maturity wise yet….I hope that monitoring socialization will
HELP them learn what is good and true, teaching them values that my husband and I hold HIGH, not what other kids their age have been led to believe….peer
pressure will exist throughout their lives and its our hope to prepare them to handle those situations….and focus on God, education and not the latest trend…..mine were in school for a time…socialization without control is NOT all its cracked up to be!”

Finally, as homeschool parents we spend a lot of time building up and encouraging our children. That is a good thing. We spend every day with them, and in many cases that can be helpful in teaching children how to interact with adults very well. That is a good thing as well. But there is something I have observed over the years in many homeschooled children. Sometimes homeschoolers can come across as very self confident and prideful. I have interacted with multiple homeschooled young people who related to me like I was their peer, rather than an older person. I have also seen them interact with their parents in the same way. It is important that we remember to teach our children to relate to us and other adults in a respectful manner . Many homeschool organizations refer to their students, and home school families, as “the cream of the crop” or other terminologies that can cause us to be tempted towards pride in what we are doing and that can be passed down to our children. That does not glorify God, and that is not our calling.

My prayer is that I would live out humility before my children, teach them what God’s Word says about what they really are in their heart of hearts, and teach them to interact with adults…and others…with respect and humility…

…and that we would seek out “socialization” to the glory of God!

Join me next month for the second article in the series “WHAT ABOUT SOCIALIZATION? AND OTHER QUESTIONS PEOPLE ASK ABOUT HOMESCHOOLING!” entitled “THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE. I’M GONNA LET IT SHINE…What About Being ‘salt and light’?”

Gina is the mom of two high schoolers, a freshman and a Senior. In her column “Reaching High,” she shares the many lessons that God has taught her and her family, as they have sought Him through the years. Visit her at her blog, Chats with An Old Lady

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January 8, 2008 By Guest 1 Comment

How To Make It To High School

“Whether, then, you eat or drink or WHATEVER YOU DO, do ALL for the GLORY OF GOD…”
1 Corinthians 10:31

If you were sitting at my table drinking coffee and you asked me for a word of advice about homeschooling, there would be many things I could talk about. I could tell about the curriculum we used, what philosophy of education we lean towards, and what groups or activities we are involved in. All of these things would be a part of the big picture of our homeschooling journey. You might be able to glean from me sharing these things. But the most important thing I could share with you would be simply to “Seek the Lord. He knows what your children need!” I would encourage you to not try and fit into any person’s or group’s mold, but to allow God to lead your family in the way He wants you to go.

We had thoughts of homeschooling even before we had children. We knew a few families that were homeschooling, and we loved what we saw. We saw smart children who were thriving, we saw close families with children who loved their parents and were being taught principles from God’s Word on a daily basis. We attributed all that we saw to one thing – Homeschooling. We wanted to experience in our family what we were seeing, and we thought that might be accomplished if we homeschooled our children.

That was over 20 years ago, and we have learned so much since then. It is not quite as simple as what we perceived it to be. We have observed many families over the years, and now know that not all families are like the ones we knew so long ago, even if they homeschool. We have also met some families that DON’T home school, but have those same positive qualities. It is a privilege to live in a country where we have so many options, including choices when it comes to how we will educate our children. I am very grateful for the option to homeschool, and it has been the best thing for our family.

All that being said, it is vital that we seek the Lord and pray over each child asking Him what HE thinks would be best for our children. It is also important that we evaluate the potential positives and negatives of each option, so that we go into whatever God leads us with our eye wide open…relying on the Lord to provide for our children what He thinks they need.

Over the years we have prayed regularly:
1) That God would show us any potential negatives, and that He would “fill in the gaps” that might be a bit challenging to fill on a human level.
2) That God would provide for our children what they need to become the people that He wants them to be.
3)That God would provide for our children the activities and outlets that they need so that they won’t feel frustrated.
4)That God would provide for our children all that they need so that they might grow in all the gifts and abilities that He has given them.

AND

5)That God would show us very clearly if it ever got to the point where homeschooling is not the best thing for our children, or that there may be something that He wants to accomplish in them, and that might be done best in another setting. I have to be honest, that prayer is prayed with some tears, and is an act of faith, because I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE having my children at home. I wouldn’t want it any other way. But I must remind myself that it is not about me. It’s about what God has planned for my children’s lives. Ultimately I want the best for my children, even if it means it might be hard for me! He has been faithful.

There can be a danger of homeschooling with OUR own agenda. We may be drawn to a curriculum, or to a philosophy of education, or to an ideal that sounds good, but there is danger in that we can become committed and passionate about homeschooling when we really should be committed to, and passionate about, God and what He wants for our children.

Some of the things that God has provided for our children over the past 13 years, have not been what fit my ideal for them. Opportunities have come up and my first response at times would have been to say, “No!” to them. As my husband and I talked about, and prayed over each situation, we have seen that these opportunities were the very things that God had in mind for our children. Some of them didn’t fit into the “mold” that had been set before us, but it was what God had planned for them. What is so incredible and encouraging is that those very things I doubted at first…the things that didn’t fit into my plans… were the very things that God has used to produce in my children, and in our family, those qualities that drew us to home schooling in the beginning!

God’s thoughts are not our thoughts!

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, Neither are your ways My ways.’ declares the Lord”
ISAIAH 55:8

I am humbled and very grateful for the work that God has done, and is doing, in our children and in our family. We attribute all of it to God. God has used home schooling in the life of our family, but it is God that gets the glory for the fruit in our lives. For me to take the credit as a parent/teacher would be stealing glory from God, the ONE who has provided for us!

There can be the temptation to become fearful as we look around us. To doubt our abilities, and to question whether or not homeschooling is the best thing for our children and our family. Or to become discouraged when people question your decision to homeschool…and even criticize you. We can become tempted to compare ourselves, our family, and our children with others, and to worry that they won’t get what they “need”. I want to encourage you that IF GOD HAS LED YOU to homeschool, HE WILL PROVIDE all that is needed to accomplish the task. Just keep looking to Him.

I want to warn you to be careful that you listen to God’s voice. There are so many voices out there…in homeschool groups, and even in churches…that tell us what our children “need“. We could potentially run ourselves and our families to exhaustion, physically, mentally, and spiritually, trying to provide for our children what we think they might need. The most important thing we can do for our children, and for our family, is to ask God to show us what HE thinks they need. We were challenged to do that years ago, and it has been one of the best things that has happened to us!

As I look back on the last 20 year of marriage, 17 years of parenting, and 13 years of homeschooling…

…although we are far from being done!
…are not “the experts”!
…have NOT done it perfectly!!
…and, are continuing to pray!

I can say with the hymn writer:

He leadeth me, O blessèd thought!
O words with heav’nly comfort fraught!
Whate’er I do, where’er I be
Still ’tis God’s hand that leadeth me.

He leadeth me, He leadeth me,
By His own hand He leadeth me;
His faithful follower I would be,
For by His hand He leadeth me.

Lord, I would place my hand in Thine,
Nor ever murmur nor repine;
Content,whatever lot I see,
Since ’tis my God that leadeth me.

He leadeth me, He leadeth me,
By His own hand He leadeth me;
His faithful follower I would be,
For by His hand He leadeth me.