Teaching to the Heart

It is often hard for me to talk only about homeschooling my family. I end up discussing discipline and family dynamics. To me they are lumped together into one category; teaching, training, and raising my children. It is all that is included in being a mother. I do not often separate them. I will admit I have found it hard to come up with things to write about for this column because I have a hard time trying to focus only on homeschooling. Homeschooling a large family is normal for me just as homeschooling two children is normal for the mother of two. This is just my life. I do not often think of how I homeschool a large family, instead I think of how I raise my children. I do not often factor in the number of children into my equation but only acknowledge that I have more on my plate to manage than most. I simply do what I do by the grace and wisdom that God provides. It really is that simple.

One thing that God has shown me as I have begun this journey of motherhood is how to discipline my children. Discipline is teaching, instruction, and correction. Sometimes punishment is a part of that but if so then it should be with the outcome to instruct. Teaching, instruction, and correction, that sounds a lot like homeschooling doesn’t it. Do you see why I have a hard time separating the two? Discipline is a part of homeschooling. Even in colleges they call a particular area of study, a discipline. They go hand in hand.

My husband and I were newly married at 18 & 21. Our first child was born a year later, when we were 19 & 22. We really had not talked about how we would raise a child. We simply followed examples around us and did what was expected. Our discipline was more on the punishment side without much thought to teaching or training. Outward obedience was the main goal. Please do not misunderstand, outward obedience is extremely important but should not be the main or ultimate goal. Have you ever seen an obedient child full of resentment and disrespect for the parent or any authority figure for that matter? It also leads to a “it is okay as long as I don’t get caught attitude.” Right and wrong is determined by the outward viewing of behavior. So if no one sees, then it is okay.

I truly believe that some of the difficulties we have faced, and thankfully not too many, were because we focused more on the outer behavior than on the heart. As we have grown as parents and in our relationships with the Lord, a lot of things have changed. Teaching to the heart is something that my husband and I have learned along the way in our parenting adventure.
This scripture hit me in a completely different way one day.

1 Samuel 16:7b
“…for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”

If God looks at the heart then maybe as a parent I should look to the heart as well and not just the outward appearance. I began to look at disciplining my children in a whole new light. I started to look at the root of the problem. Why did my child behave that way? Yes, we would discipline for the actually hitting of his sister but we would ask questions.

“Why did you hit your sister?”

The replies might be: “I was angry, I want that toy, she was bugging me.”

We would in turn respond with God’s word:

Anger: Ephesians 4:26a, “Be angry and yet do not sin.” Or Proverbs 14:29, “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.”

I want: Romans 15:2, “Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.” Or Galatians 6:10, “So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.”

She was bugging me: Galatians 5:22-23, “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.”

We began to teach to the heart for things such as selfishness, lack of self-control, anger, pride, envy, disrespect, and so on. In tackling those “hidden” sins and using Scripture to address them, we found that most of the outward behavioral sins became fewer and fewer. The majority of the outward is an overflow of the inward. If we take care of the weed’s root then the weed cannot grow, but just picking a dandelion does not keep it from returning. In fact the longer it remains the more it will spread. You must get the root!

Psalm 51:10 says “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.”

This is a prayer that as a parent I pray over and over again and I also pray this for my children. As I teach them, at the heart of their sin and use the Word of God to address it, I pray for the Lord to create a clean heart within them, and the rewards are immeasurable and far outweigh a child that is simply outwardly obedient with a hardened heart.

I encourage you to search the Scriptures and to re-evaluate how you are teaching and training your children. All Christian parents, including me, are not perfect, we need the grace of God to accomplish the great task which He has given to us!

As you homeschool your children, make sure you are teaching and training their hearts as well as their minds! This really is The Heart of the Matter!

Kristine is the wife of a pastor who is currently serving as a chaplain in the military. She is also the mother of eight wonderful children and schools them using the Classical Christian method. In her column, “Ducks in a Row,” she writes about the challenges, joys, and logistics of homeschooling a large family. Visit her at her blog, Mama Archer.

Technorati Tags: christian living, Encouragement, homeschool life

Schedules

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven. Ecclesiastes 3:1

Time management is one area that greatly affects my ability to teach my children at home. I wrote in an earlier post about prioritizing. Once you have prioritized and weeded out activities, having a plan of action to carry things out is of great importance. One of the best ways to manage your time is, in my opinion, with a working schedule. I will readily admit that this is an area that needs continual work in my household.

Schedules must be revamped often. As the scripture above says, “for everything there is a season.” There are different things that happen in our lives that will interrupt your plans and schedules and these call for adjustments. In our home we are going through a few of those “seasons.” We have the season of an upcoming move and the season of morning sickness. Once your schedule is in place, try not to be so rigid that you cannot adjust for a change in season or a surprise storm or two.

A schedule is simply a written plan for ordering those things you deem as priorities into your day. You designate blocks of your time for specific activities. It helps you to find the time to accomplish the tasks you have before you. It can also relieve some of the stress of life because you have a plan. It is a way to direct your children to the next activity for the day without constantly being interrupted with questions about what to do next.

Everyone has a different comfort level when it comes to how much structure to put into their day. I find that the larger my family becomes the more structure, the better. There is simply more to accomplish than before and I need to have a plan of attack.

I came across a great book that has been a tremendous help. What first caught my eye was the fact that the author was also a homeschooling mother of eight. She is someone who can relate to the sheer volume of things that pertain to a large family. I thought if this worked for her large family then I could implement some of her ideas and have them work for me, too! Her book would even be helpful for smaller families.

I ran into a friend who also used this book to organize her household. She is the mother of seven. She uses this plan and it enables her to manage her time wisely. When I received my book, I read if cover to cover in the first day. I was so excited! I pulled out the toolkit that came with it and began to put our schedule together. After three days of trying to make this schedule work, I called my friend crying. I simply could not fit everything into our day. Her words of advice reminded me that I could do all that the Lord desired me to do but I could not necessarily do everything that I desired to do! I needed to prioritize and cut out some things. I simply cannot do everything that a mother of two has time to accomplish. I have more children with many more levels of educational needs. After prayer and discussion with my husband, I cut and cut some more. At last I had a working schedule.

It takes time and effort to implement a schedule and get the family started. Once you have committed to it and worked at it for a while you will begin to fall naturally into a routine. You learn what takes longer and what is done more quickly. You simply adjust your schedule to fit your family. I found that I needed several schedules, almost one for everyday. Some days we had piano and other days we had to finish early for AWANA.

I do not currently have a written schedule. We have not used one this past year and I feel as if we have not accomplished nearly as much as we should have. After we are settled into our new home, a new schedule will appear and be implemented. My life is simply easier when we have one.

I suggest sticking as closely to your schedule as possible when you first start. This will help you to develop the habit of “running a tight ship.” Once you have that, make more adjustments. You can determine then how strictly to follow your schedule. It will differ for all of us. My friend that I mentioned above follows hers to the “T.” Her life is extremely structured and her family thrives under that structure! I am a bit more relaxed. As an example, I do not schedule my nursing babies and need some flexibility. The main idea here is to have a plan, a written plan. Not just to have a written plan but one that is actually workable!

Take some time and schedule your priorities and see how much more you will accomplish. Do you currently have a working schedule? Have you ever used this book? What have you found are the benefits of scheduling? Leave me a comment and let’s have a discussion about it to encourage each other in our efforts!

Here is that wonderful book I mentioned.

It’s written by Steve and Terri Maxwell.

I highly recommend this for those looking to manage their home in a more effective way. There is such great information and the toolkit is included. If you look on their website you will find testimonials, information on what else is included, and schedules from other moms.

MANAGERS OF THEIR HOMES

Kristine is the wife of a pastor who is currently serving as a chaplain in the military. She is also the mother of eight wonderful children and schools them using the Classical Christian method. In her column, “Ducks in a Row,” she writes about the challenges, joys, and logistics of homeschooling a large family. Visit her at her blog, Mama Archer.

Technorati Tags: Family Life, Home Management, homeschool life, Methods

Bumps in the Road

Bumps in the Road

I remember the very first day that I started homeschooling twelve and a half years ago. I was so excited! I had my curriculum picked out and all of the supplies I needed gathered and set out on the table the night before. Things went perfectly! After all, I had read and reread the lessons like twenty times already. I was going to be the perfect homeschool mom and things were always going to be sunshine and rainbows. What I didn’t allow to enter my mind was the fact that in order to have a rainbow, there has to be rain! My perfect homeschool experience lasted three whole days and when day four hit I became, what I thought, was a total failure! I have grown a lot since then and realize that having unattainable goals will always leave me feeling like a failure. Why set myself up for that? Here is one thing that I have learned along the way and tried to apply to my life.

BE FLEXIBLE! Planning is a good thing, be prepared, but be flexible! Babies will cry, children will get sick, mom will get sick with 102 degree temperature, the dog will get sick, the bird will break free from its cage and the cats will go nuts! All of this will happen when hubby is out of town. Oh, did I mention mom is due in 3 weeks and always delivers early(can we say stress & fear)?

YES, this was an actual week in my life. Guess what, no one can have a perfect school day when this is your week! Be flexible and remember things do not always go as planned. Remember your reason for being: to bring glory to God. Sometimes our plan is not His plan. During this week (several years ago), we did not get through our ABC’s but we learned a much more valuable lesson, to lean upon the Lord. If we learn to lean upon the Lord we will find things flow more smoothly even as we ride along all the bumps in the road.

Proverbs 16:9 The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps.

This month I wanted to encourage you on those rainy days. The rainbow soon will appear. Remember who sends the rain and the rainbow. Praise the Lord for both!

Next month I plan on sharing a bit about scheduling and the importance of having of a plan. It is important however, to remember that we are not perfect and that even the best made plans are subject to the working of the Lord.

Kristine is the wife of a pastor who is currently serving as a chaplain in the military. She is also the mother of eight wonderful children and schools them using the Classical Christian method. In her column, “Ducks in a Row,” she writes about the challenges, joys, and logistics of homeschooling a large family. Visit her at her blog, Mama Archer.

Technorati Tags: Curriculum, Encouragement, homeschool life, Methods

Happy Birthday and Congratulations to Kristine

We would like to wish our wonderful
Kristine a very blessed birthday. Please stop by her blog at Mama Archer and leave her a birthday comment. We would also like to wish her a happy and healthy nine-months! Congratulations to Kristine and Papa Archer on the latest addition to their family!

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Five Things That Make School Run Smoothly

Five Things That Make School Run Smoothly

People often ask me HOW we manage things around our house. So this month I have five things to share with you that have worked well in our large family homeschooling situation. Hopefully, they will be beneficial to you. Even if it is not something that you can incorporate, it is always fun to see how others organize their homeschool.

1. Get an early start. This is a very difficult one for me but it makes such a big difference. I am not a morning person and am often up several times a night with little ones but I have found that if we get an earlier start we accomplish so much more. Things tend to run more smoothly for us as well. We try to be up, dressed, fed, and ready for school by 8 am. I will readily admit that it is a rare morning that this actually happens. We shoot for this never the less and it is becoming a more frequent occurrence. It seems if we start school work any time after 9 am then we most likely will not finish our work and we are going all day long. If we start at 8 am we are almost done by lunch and are finished by 2pm. I do not know why it works this way other than we are more energetic and motivated to make the most of the day when the day is still fresh.

2. Organize your teacher materials and resources. If you have a specific place for things and they are easily accessible, not only to you but to the children who will need them, things flow more smoothly. I have two bookshelves located in the hallway about ten steps from where we have school. It is easy for me to pull things out and to replace them. I typically pull out everything I will need that day and replace it as I finish with it. This gives me a visible and tangible way to tell what I have accomplished and what is still left to be done. The children can go and get their resource books and replace them as needed.

3. Organize the materials and books per each child. I had a friend introduce me to this particular idea and it has made a big difference in organizing our materials. Each child receives their very own plastic bucket. They are similar to milk crates in size. Each child places their folders, math books, readers, journals, paper, container of pencils, and anything else that is specific to their course of study in these containers. They have a designated place for their buckets and are required to pull them out before school and to return them after school.

4. Keep a stash of pencils, pens, staples, glue sticks, and any other necessary items. Find an easy place to store them. I have a basket thing that I keep ours in. It sits atop the book shelves listed in #2 above. It is on the end that is next to the stairs so even the shorter children can climb a few stairs and be able to reach what they need without any difficulty.

5. Take advantage of nap time! Nap time is when you can accomplish a lot! You can finish lessons with the older children or correct papers without the little ones making noise or trying to take pencils. You can have chore time and do a quick pick up to straighten the house, or you can take a short refreshing nap to help fuel you for the rest of the day. You can have your Bible readings or other reading. You can use this time as I am now, blogging. Take advantage of this time.

Kristine is the wife of a pastor who is currently serving as a chaplain in the military. She is also the mother of eight wonderful children and schools them using the Classical Christian method. In her column, “Ducks in a Row,” she writes about the challenges, joys, and logistics of homeschooling a large family. Visit her at her blog, Mama Archer.

Technorati Tags: Family Life, Home Management, homeschooling, planning

Finding Enough Time

Finding Enough Time

Do you ever feel like you do not have enough time in your day? Does your clock seem to move in fast motion and the hours slip away? I am often asked how I manage with such a large family. How do I find the time to do all that needs to be done? After all there are only 24 hours in a day! “By the grace of God and day by day,” I reply. I must remember that I have been called to do this and that God will not ask of me any more than I am capable. My capability however does not rest on my shoulders alone. In fact, my capability is not worth much at all but I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.

We can accomplish so much more if we rely on God; his guidance, His strength, and His might. He provides the tools we need to accomplish the tasks He places before us. One of those tools is the ability to prioritize. We must not get caught in the trap of taking care of the urgent before the most important. This is a habit into which we can easily fall.

For those with larger families this task of prioritizing can seem a more daunting task.This is not necessarily because we have more things to accomplish (though sometimes that is the case) it is usually because of the volume of those things is greatly multiplied. I can say this because I have been there. When our family was smaller we had fewer things to pick up and A LOT less laundry to wash. There were not as many dishes to clean and diapers to change. I could vacuum less often because there were not as many feet tracking in dirt. I could go on and on. It is very easy to get caught up in all of this to the point of neglecting the most important things, our time with the Lord and the training and enjoyment of our children. This is not glorifying to God and glorifying God is the reason we are here.

The Westminster Catechism question #1 asks, What is the chief end of man?

The answer is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.
(1 Corinthians 6:20, 10:31, Revelation 4:11)

Prioritizing is the one of the best ways to address this problem. To prioritize simply means to assign priority to. Priority is, according to Webster, precedence in place or rank. We must, through prayer and discussion with our spouses, determine those things that are most important and those things that can be removed from our plate. We need to determine what all of those things are that we have to accomplish, or think we have to accomplish, and rank them. We often read about the picture perfect homeschooling families where the children excel in everything and have a dozen of extra curricular activities at which they also excel, but this is not what every homeschooling family looks like or even should look like. We are all different. Can we accept that we do not have to look like that perfect homeschool family? Can we face the fact that there is such a thing as being too busy and doing too much? You will find that 24 hours in a day is more than enough if priorities are set, unnecessary things are let go, and a good plan is implemented.

If you find you do not have enough time in your day or you are meeting the urgent before the important, I would suggest reevaluating priorities. List them. See what can be let go. Do first things first, in order of importance. Accomplish the primary before the secondary and see if things fall into place better than before. Trust in the Lord and His might.

Last month I posed the question, “So, why do you do what you do?” This month I ask you, “What are your priorities?”

Kristine is the wife of a pastor who is currently serving as a chaplain in the military. She is also the mother of eight wonderful children and schools them using the Classical Christian method. In her column, “Ducks in a Row,” she writes about the challenges, joys, and logistics of homeschooling a large family. Visit her at her blog, Mama Archer.

Technorati Tags: Encouragement, Family Life, Home Management, planning

So, Why Do You Do What You Do?

So, Why Do You Do What You Do?

Deuteronomy 6:4-7 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

This encompasses every aspect of life, at all times and in all things. I do not believe this can be fully accomplished if the responsibility is abdicated to others and children are put under the authority of those who disagree with the biblical approach to every aspect of life or are obligated to teach using a secular curriculum with a humanistic and atheistic approach. There truly is no real neutrality. Here is a quote from a book I have read recently, it gives a good summary. This is enough to propel me to move forward and count the rewards when I am feeling overwhelmed. It is what God has called me to do as a Christian mother.

The biblical mind is not compartmentalized into two distinct areas of though: secular and sacred. All of life is under the authority of God’s revealed Word, and children were to be taught in terms of this comprehensive authority all the time.

from: Standing on the Promises by Doug Wilson

I acknowledge that all will not agree with my reasons for homeschooling. Many will have other reasons and that is ok. I encourage you to evaluate what those reasons are and make them forefront in your mind. Use those reasons as propulsion to continue on in your homeschooling journey. When you have a frustrating day, they will urge you forward and help to keep you focused.

Technorati Tags: Curriculum, Encouragement, homeschool life, homeschooling, Methods, planning

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Curriculum Favorites

For Bible Studies:
Bible Study Guide for All Ages
Josh McDowell’s Family Devotions 2
The Narrated Bible
Josh McDowell True or False Workbooks

The Basics:
Konos Orderliness and Obedience
Sequential Spelling
Prima Latina
Saxon Math 4
Singapore Math(Primary Math)
Easy Grammar

Amy S.

The Basics:
Phonics Pathways
Little Angel Readers
Spelling Workout
First Language Lessons for the Well Trained Mind
Math U See
Story of the World
The Story Atlas of the Bible
Little Boys Bible Storybook for Fathers and Sons
Trivium Academy’s Life Sciences

Supplements:
Kingfisher First Human Body Encyclopedia
History Through the Ages Timeline Figures
Lots of literature to correspond with history and science
Latin exposure through listening to the Bible in Latin
Magic School Bus books and DVD’s
Popular Mechanics for Kids DVD’s
Science Arts
Art
Piano lessons through the local children’s performing arts center
Chess practice with Fritz and Chesster

Dana (Principle Approach)

Singapore Math
Bible

Darnelle

Saxon Math for 1st grade through Calculus
Easy Grammar
Sequential Spelling
A Beka Science
Rosetta Stone - Spanish

Dianne

Konos
LifePac Math
SOS Math
Word Roots - Latin
Instant Immersion Italian
Wisdom unit from the Heart of Wisdom

Heather H

Math U See
Easy Grammar
Spelling Power
Diana Waring History
Encyclopedia In The Classroom

Kristine

Veritas Press for history and Bible
Shurley English
Saxon
Memoria Press Latin
Apologia Science
Vocabulary from ClassicalRoots -reading, handwriting, as well as various other things from their catalog.
Rosetta Stone
Courtship Series
Saxon phonics
Fallacy Detective
Westminster Catechism
A Reason for Writing
Visual Manna
Orton Gillingham Language tune-up
Sequential Spelling
Straight Talk speech therapy
Audiblox
Covenant Home curriculum and auditing service

Lisa

Tapestry of Grace for History, literature, some writing, geography and church history/worldview
Happy Scribe
Wonders of Old
History Scholar
Apologia Biology
Apologia Creation with Astronomy
Apologia Zoology
Math Saxon 65
Teaching Textbooks
Explorer’s Bible Study
Easy Spanish
La Clase Divertida
Analytical Grammar
United Streaming

Lori

Calvert curriculum - core
Rosetta Stone
Veritas Press - supplements History and Bible
Polished Cornerstones - Plants Grown Up
Heart of Wisdom
Purposeful Design
Art History Curriculum

MandyMom

We dont use any specific curriculum. Sometimes I stumble upon some really cool workbooks at the dollar store, and I pick them up, but we prefer to use real life curriculum, meaning- we use experiences to teach the children (cooking, museums, etc). Of course, as they get older, we might have to reassess. I make a lot of our “curriculum” as well… when they want to work on letters, we get out construction paper and have a little fun.

Marsha

Math U See
WinterPromise American Story 1
WinterPromise Language Arts 1 & 3 (coincides with AS1)
Getty & Dubay Italic Handwriting
God’s Design for Life: The Human Body by Answers in Genesis
Artistic Pursuits Book 1

And for my 3yo, Before Five in a Row

Rachel

Before Five in a Row
Homeschoolshare
Letteroftheweek

Supplements:
Educational programming — Word World, Between the Lions and Super Why
Little Einsteins
Music and Art appreciation
United Streaming
Letter Factory DVD
Books and videos from the library

Randi

Tapestry of Grace for history and language
Apologia Science
Daily Grams
Fallacy Detective
Saxon Math
Rod and Staff math - elementary grades
MCP phonics
A Beka readers
A Reason for Writing

Tiany

Adventures in My Father’s World
Letter Of The Week

Technorati Tags: Curriculum, homeschooling