Slowing Down for an Excellent Education

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If your child has a serious illness, you may be wondering if you are adequately meeting their academic needs. Academics often must take a back seat to meeting health needs – and it should. I want to tell you that not only can you meet their needs, but you can exceed them without all the stress and worry. Really!

I’ve met many moms of kids with health issues who refer to Jeremiah 29:11 as “their verse.” Maybe you’re one of them; I know I am! Jeremiah tells us, “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope,” (New King James Version). Those thoughts of God give us hope for our child’s future health, and it can also give us peace with the education we are providing.

Our peace depends on truly believing that God has a specific plan for our child and their health concerns are central to that plan. I do not mean that we form our child’s identity around their illness. It’s part of who they are, but there is much more to our children than their illness or defects. My son was born with congenital heart defects. Those defects didn’t control his likes and dislikes. They didn’t create his insatiable fascination with critters big and small. Seth is Seth, and he happens to have heart defects. BUT, those defects did mean more battles with colds, more trips to the doctors, and more days off from school. They also meant that active field trips, like hikes, would have to be done at his pace.

While our hearts may want to push for some normalcy and something that makes our child like other kids their age, peace comes with accepting that their education will be different and that’s OK. Peace also comes from grabbing onto God’s educational goals and plans.

My prayer became that God would help me to provide an excellent education just for Seth. God knows what that looks like; after all, it’s His plan! He has shown me that by slowing down and not trying to keep up with what I think is happening in the public school, Seth’s education can exceed my hopes while reducing my stress. Throughout this article, I’ll share with you the keys He’s shown me to creating a school day that allows my son to flourish. I’ll also share ways we have implemented those keys to help you begin to visualize how you can use them in your own homeschool.

Our first step in creating an excellent education for our child is to let go of man made plans outlined in curriculum, benchmarks, and tests. You don’t have to throw those things completely out the window if you like to use them. Do allow yourself to be flexible, though. For example, we use a curriculum we love, but I know before school starts that we will not read every book they list. We also use our curriculum more as a spring board to stir interests and have the freedom to pursue other avenues outside of the set plans. When those new interests are exhausted, we come back to our curriculum. As we explore on our own, we’re still doing the original subject (if it’s science or history), it’s just different – and more thorough. Our results have always been that my son has learned this subject matter extremely well. When your child is driven to learn something, you won’t have to struggle and try to “make” them learn. Learning comes easily when it’s born out of their natural curiosity.

Yes, it can be scary to let go of concrete guides that tell us what our child should know and when, but if we do, and we instead follow God’s plans, we find that their education is no longer standard, like everyone else’s. It has become excellent. They are learning rich life changing information – life changing because it feeds them. It nurtures their God given interests, opens new exciting doors for them and encourages a love of learning that will carry them far. You are not just meeting their needs, but exceeding them.

So, let’s say you buy into grabbing onto God’s plan and letting go of man’s. What practical planning steps do you need to take?

First, you pray… a lot. Pray for God’s help to follow Him instead of what people think your child should be doing in his or her particular grade.

Then, follow your child’s lead and focus on your their interests. As we talked about above, not only will your child learn more than you can imagine, but this is key to reducing your stress (which you already have enough of because of their health problems). There are a variety of ways to let them lead the way. You may decide to kick off the year only learning about whatever their passions might be and weaving skill lessons in as you go. If your child is crazy about a particular animal, all your main subjects can revolve around it. As you research and read about your animal, you can naturally practice language arts. (For example, take time to look at how a certain word is spelled and look it up in the dictionary. Take turns reading aloud. Discuss why they punctuated a sentence a certain way or write a favorite fact.)

Often you will find science and history already in your information. You learn naturally from the material right in front of you, using what they give you. Easy! Lapbooking and notebooking are also great ways to focus on a certain subject. OR, if you use a curriculum, make it OK to really dig into topics that catch your child’s interest. One thing I like to do is ask my son what he thinks is interesting about a subject and what he would like to find out more about. We list his questions and make a research plan to find the answers – do we have books at home we could use, do we need to go to the library, should we search on the internet? Also, keep in mind what works best for you! My son loves lots of interaction, talking about everything helps him process, but it wears me out! I’ve set up our schedule to flow back and forth between independent and together work. That way he gets his talking time, I get my quiet time (actually, its housework time), and we’re both happy! You may even find it appropriate to allow your child to pursue their interests on their own. Then, you get to simply witness and enjoy the knowledge being poured into your student.

Pray about their weaknesses. This is another area that takes a lot of prayer and seeking God’s guidance. How can you use their interests to strengthen their weakness? If you can’t, how can you gently break that weakness down to make it as stress-free as possible for both of you? Keep in mind that some weaknesses take time. It may be even better to let it go for now and try again in a couple of months. My son greatly dislikes writing. Giving him multiple small writing tasks throughout the school day makes it more doable for him and less stressful for us both. Again, I’ve found lapbooking to be a great help in this area.

Keep in mind their health. While you, of course, can make plans before your school year starts, you will need to remain flexible throughout the year so that you can meet their changing health needs. When those days come that school has to be missed, remember it’s OK, you are following God’s good plan for your family.

When you take these steps, you let go of the stress of trying to meet unrealistic expectations. You can let go of guidelines and benchmarks, and enjoy the blessing of being able to educate your child at home. Keep praying, dear one, surrendering your child’s health and school day to God. Let God give you His “big picture” for your child. He will also help you with the little things – like how to help your reluctant reader. Most of all keep trusting in His good thoughts and plans for your child’s future. Then, be blessed by the excellent education He provides.

Kimberly has been happily married to her best friend, Randy, for over 15 years.  Together, they homeschool their 13 year old son, Seth.   She received her bachelor’s degree in Mental Disabilities: Moderate, Severe and Profound from the University of Northern Iowa, and taught Special Education for 4 years before becoming a stay at home Mommy – her absolute favorite “job” ever!  Kimberly is also a Christian writer and speaker whose heart is to encourage Mom’s, like her, with children who have serious illnesses.  You can find her at www.kimberlyehlers.com.