Is there a particular subject that you dread on a regular basis? What about your child?
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard it said: Winners never quit and quitters never win.
Well, I am here to tell you that is not always true!
Here we are halfway through our school year (well, almost halfway.. let’s say we are more at 3/8ths and leave it at that), and I am already completely unhappy! Not with my kids (what a relief!) and not with our school schedule, but with our spelling and writing curriculum.
It is the death of me, y’all. I can’t stand it, my kids can’t stand it, and this one particularly well-thought-of and recommended creative writing resource has been known to bring one of my children to tears. It’s one thing if I am the one to bring my child to tears since I can at least soothe it with an apology, hug and maybe a cookie- but a book? A piece of paper? An assignment to do that to my boy?! No way am I putting up with that!
So we QUIT. Walked out. Said adios, ciao and vale!
We dropped those programs like a hot potato… even though we only did 5 weeks of work in them. Even though I paid good money and bought them new, for crying out loud! And even though I am a firm believer in finishing what you start.
Once I realized that this just wasn’t working for us, I gave myself permission to just stop right where we were. The whole point of schooling of any kind is to learn. The only thing we were learning was that our spelling was a bunch of busywork and that the creative writing was completely ruining an otherwise perfect school day.
Is there a particular subject that you dread on a regular basis? What about your child? Reevaluate your day and your coursework. You might find that there is something that is simply not compatible with your teaching style or your child’s learning style. Or perhaps it’s just not getting the job done. Why continue with a program that is supposed to teach your child something when there is zero improvement over the course of several months? Or maybe there is some improvement but it is at the cost of tears, frustration, whining, and a completely negative view of learning– and that’s not counting how your child is feeling!
Ahhh… there is sweet freedom in quitting! I’m not talking about quitting an entire subject like spelling or math, but having the freedom to find programs and books that DO work for your child and for you. I challenge you to stop, take a step back, look at your school day with fresh eyes and be a quitter if you have to!
Marsha is proud to be the Mrs. to David for over 12 years. They have been homeschooling their rowdy boys in the Lone Star State for the past 5 years. When she’s feeling like a slacker, you can find her drinking coffee, reading a book and writing at her blog — and sometimes all at the same time! You can find Marsha at Our Homeschool and Other Such Happenings.
Thanks for this article! I’m one of those VERY neurotic moms who has to finish everything just because it’s there. I’m getting a little better with child #2, but still need to relax some.
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Great article! I have done this. The expensive nicely planned out curriculum that everyone was raving over was not working for our family. When I announced we were going to quit using it, my son was thrilled. I did not know he disliked it so much. The rest of the year went much smoother. Thanks for the reminder that we don’t have to finish everything we start!
Alicia, The Snowflake’s last blog post..Pulse Check
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That’s great advice Marsha. I totally agree. One of my college education teachers would say, “Teach the child, NOT the curriculum.” Ultimately we want to be successful in how we teach our children, not in how we stick to a curriculum or follow its method.
Nancy’s last blog post..Trusting in a New Season
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I definitely do this too. If it isn’t working, there isn’t going to be any learning happening. It is a bummer to spend money on products that don’t work, but hey, we don’t know until we try. What writing/spelling program didn’t work for you? Can you tell? I’m always interested in what works and doesn’t work for people. I’ve decided next year to go back to the Charlotte Mason way of dictation, dictation and dictation. I found a great website by Susan C Anthony. She has tons of info on spelling and more. I loved her spelling info. HIt home. KWIM?
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Having homeschooled up til 7th grade so far, I have to say “CONGRATS” on a well written and timely article. I often in the beginning of homeschooling would feel the need to finish books/work that really…wasn’t working. WHY? Not sure. But you are giving moms out there permission to work with their own child. This is a MUST for new homeschoolers to grasp.
awesome article Marsha!
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I really enjoyed your article. So sad to see that his schoolwork made him cry.
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Yep. Two weeks ago I woke up and told my daughter she could throw her math book away. In the trash. AND we took the week off while we waited for the new, wonderful stuff to come in.
Best decision we ever made.
brenda’s last blog post..We Have a Winner!!!
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Absolutely! It’s okay to stop, modify, regroup and just put it down for a while. Our trouble topic is most usually math. But you know what, if I pull out a deck of cards and play a math game, that’s fun. The same problems on a worksheet? Tears. So packaging is so important. Bless you, Marshie! Love the pics in this!
Jimmie’s last blog post..Reading Books
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We’ve been there and done that–this year with writing/grammar, last year with spelling, the year before with math (I think). I hate the expense of quitting something, but nothing beats seeing your children ENJOY what they are doing when you find what works!
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Congratulations! I love it when Moms take control of their schools. You know your son and his abilities WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYY better than any program or book or curricula!! You are one wise Mama!!!
Darnelle’s last blog post..if i were the devil – paul harvey
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Oh yes! For “Bruce” it’s Math-but no getting out of that LOL! & “Nemo” it’s Reading.
Sigh!
Nikowa@KHA’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Cocoa Beach ’06
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I sometimes find myself determined to make my kids “stick things out” out of fear that they might otherwise think it’s okay to “quit” something. (This may be due to my own tendency to leave projects half-finished and my desire for my kids to not be the same way.) But I realized long ago that it is good for a child to know that it is OK to quit doing something that isn’t working or isn’t productive or isn’t meeting the goal. There’s always a balance in life, isn’t there? I don’t want my kids to be quitters, but nor do I want them to be “compulsive finishers” who are afraid to say no or make changes! I’ve told them at times, “There’s a time to stay with something and a time to quit, and this is one of those times to quit!” There are things we need to stick out and things that are okay to quit or change, and it is good to learn the difference.
And having thus spoken, I really need to think some more about my 10-y/o’s spelling program. I actually switched from something that WAS working to something I thought would be better, and it isn’t. It works and she’s okay with it, but we both realize it’s just a lot of busywork and the other one really was better. I have stuck with it b/c… well, I switched once already so I should just stick with this now even if it was a mistake… nope.
Btw, Tank is really, really cute when he pouts.
Bethany aka 40winkzzz’s last blog post..Carpe Chicago
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Great encouraging advice Marsha!
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Great article! I don’t think, when handled wisely and maturely, that a child in this situation would learn to quit. I believe that, with the learning style and lifestyle we choose when we educate our children at home, we can show them that there are alternatives in life when we hit a bump, and particularly that we can be reasonable and seek ways where the joy of learning stays intact. Flexibility is a must if we are to have success smiling on our efforts… Love the toothless grin – I have one of those smiling back at me everyday too… cute!
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I can’t tell you how many Math programs I have used. I relate to this article. I agree with Naomi that I don’t think quitting is something they would get from this. I see it as problem solving-working on something until a better solution is found.
Kathy’s last blog post..Tribute
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How many times I’ve done this!
It gets harder to do as they get older…I now have 2 in high school, and every course is a credit on the transcript. Nonetheless, in late December we ditched our literature curriculum, and early January began a new one…to be completed by summer! Both boys wanted to change so badly, so I made them promise that they understood the heavy-hitting-schedule they’d have to keep up with if we did it. We just don’t have time anymore to start and stop! But it’s been 100% worth it. I think they will do a bit of it through summer, but that’s okay with them, so it’s okay with me
Lori’s last blog post..What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?
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It’s nice to know there are other parents who understand when enough is enough. I had to swap math curriculum for my daughter, and I believe in getting my money’s worth for everything. It just wasn’t working for us and sometimes the money can’t be more important than the child’s learning experience. Homeschooling isn’t all about the money!
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