Striking a Balance

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Balancing my many roles of Wife, Mom, Teacher, Maid, Cook, Friend, Daughter, Sister and Writer is something that I struggle with daily. From the emails I receive, I know that I am not the only one with this dilemma. It seems to be one of the things all women have in common – the quest to find balance in life and hush the never ending to-do list in our minds. As homeschooling moms, on top of all the other balancing acts we are performing, we also have to find a way to balance the busyness of the day and all the items on that to-do list with the fun moments that truly make the entire journey worthwhile.

As we bring this series on experiencing joy to a close, I only thought it appropriate to address ways that we can practically participate in those family traditions and rituals while still fulfilling the other roles our families need us to perform. The first step I took to strike this balance was something I learned on a retreat I attended late last year. My sweet friend Chelsea told me that she was completely exhausted just thinking about my day and all the things that I tried to accomplish . . . and the guilt that I carried around from not crossing all those items off of my list. She helped me to see that to have peace and joy in my life, what I needed to do was become intentional and plan. I needed to figure out what REALLY needed to be done around the house, the activities I needed to be a part of (if any), and how many from-scratch gourmet meals I needed to fix each week to feel good about myself. Most importantly, I needed to get my husband’s input. Then I just do what is on his list! It is wonderful if you can be Mommy Mrs. Perfect, but for the rest of us, the important thing is that your family knows how much they are loved. Wendy told me something that has stayed with me, “One thing’s for sure, my dear children do not worry about cleaning, mopping, laundry, dishes, etc; But they will say, ‘Mom, you didn’t sit with me and talk’ or ‘Mom, you don’t play with me.’”

Secondly, I put all but one of my yahoo groups on “no mail.” Those groups can be invaluable in the wisdom you can receive, but that wisdom is also provided by searching the archives. Chances are that they have discussed every topic you can think of at least twice anyway! Stopping all those emails from coming into my inbox every morning immediately lightened my load and helped calm me down.

Now, I’ve only been a Mommy for 3 ½ years so I thought it best to get insight on this balance thing from some much more seasoned veterans. An overriding tip was to start and end your day with prayer! One mom told me that she NEEDED prayer first thing in the morning and 30 minutes of quiet after lunch to maintain sanity. By focusing your eyes on our Heavenly Father and getting His wisdom for how you should structure your time that day, it makes the balancing act much easier!

Many families have decided to mainly school four days a week with Fridays reserved for fun family moments and/or housework. One mom I know does all of her cleaning on Friday mornings for four or five hours while the children have free time. She can do this knowing that she gave her family all of her time throughout the week and can just focus on the housework at once! Others try to incorporate the children into the housework. This is a great idea, but it can be tricky. Cooking together can be a blast, and a great way to make memories – but it can also be VERY messy (especially with preschoolers)! I also know that life skills are important to teach our children, yet I struggle with also knowing that those clothes would be folded so much quicker if I just did it myself. So how do you find time to get chores done and still have quality time (schooling or not) with your children? One of our readers, Tristan, has a great solution. “We try to do one homeschool subject, then a housework chore (5-10 min), then a play break for a half hour or so. Then we repeat.” I think I might have to try this idea!

Extra-curricular activities and outings can be a common concern when it comes to the “busyness factor.” Lugging around all of your children to your various sporting, scouting, dancing and church activities is enough to drive the most tranquil mom insane. Limiting outside activities was the number one suggestion from our veteran homeschoolers. Even running errands can be stressful and can mess up the delicate balance of time. One mom has started running errands in the evenings without her little ones. This also allows for some wonderful Daddy time!

If you are still struggling with finding a balance, you are not alone. I am not sure if anyone can really live in a continual state of balance. I tend to agree with a friend of mine who said that it is more of a “teeter-totter.” Blending your ideals with your reality can be difficult. I will leave you with a final thought from Amy, one of our wonderful editors.

“I have matured through motherhood, but I have also learned how to let my inner child come out. There is a time to be the grown-up and a time to be the playmate. I’m still learning the all-important task of how to balance that.”

It doesn’t answer the balance question but it has left an impression on me since I first read it months ago. It serves as a wonderful way to see if my priorities are in line by asking myself throughout the day, “Is this a time to be the grown-up? Should I put this away for now and be the playmate?”

I pray that you have been as blessed by this series as I was writing it! Please leave any tips, suggestions or lessons you have learned in regards to this series in the comments section. We would love to hear from you!

Rachel is a wife and a preschool homeschooling mom of two little princesses, Jordan Faith (3) and Carolina “Cali” Grace (2). She has a passion for instilling a love of learning. She loves to create her own unit studies, as well encourage moms to experience Joy in the MINISTRY of Motherhood. Visit Rachel at Keep The Way.