Christian Homeschooling | Heart of the Matter

November 30, 2009 By Rhodema 2 Comments

My daughter started her sophomore year of homeschooling before we finally learned why school was so difficult for her.

We walked out of the third floor office of the learning specialist and neither of us spoke. Instead, we each attempted to absorb what the doctor just presented in the appointment. I pushed the down button and felt relieved that only my daughter and I stepped into the empty elevator.

“So, what do you think about the diagnosis?” I asked.

After a pause she said, “I’m a little mad right now, at God. I’m trying to take this in. My whole life I thought I was stupid and now I discover that I have a learning disability but that I am really smart.”

Parents who homeschool students are proud of the studies that show higher standardized test scores among children taught at home. Home educated students consistently score higher on the ACT and SAT tests. But, what do you do when your child’s best academic efforts land him or her in the bottom quarter of the standardized test chart?

Diagnosis

My daughter had trouble learning to read and she struggled with spelling and writing since she first held a pencil. If hours of study and hard work equaled success in school, she should have been a National Merit Scholar but the results were quite the contrary.

After numerous tutors, specialists and misdiagnoses throughout the years, we learned that she is dyslexic. She was harder to diagnose because she could read, but the disability affected her ability to perceive phonetic sounds in her brain. She couldn’t spell or write without great difficulty.

The diagnostic report read: profound disability requiring accommodations.

There was no treatment or cure, only coping skills to aid in learning. Aside from the practical study techniques, we determined that the most important survival approach for my daughter to learn was to see herself and her abilities through God’s eyes.

Created Perfect

I like to remind my daughter that she is part of a unique and complete package. What others may consider a deficit, in one area, only adds to whom she is designed to be in God’s plan–and He does have a plan.

I love the parable of the stewards that Jesus told in Matthew 25. He reveals what God values in his followers: not talent, but talent well used. God doesn’t compare servant to servant. Instead, He is interested in what each person does with what he is given. That is what I strive to instill in my daughter.

Curriculum Choices

As is often true in kids with learning challenges, they blossom in the arts. I began tailoring my daughter’s high school curriculum to music, art, voice and theater. We discovered she has a great voice so we began centering opportunities on singing.

Not all academic curriculums are suited for students with learning challenges. I realized that my daughter learned best with courses that offered the lessons and tests on the computer. She even enjoyed some of her science curriculum via music with the Lyrical Learning series.

Learning to type and use the computer for her papers was essential. My husband and I invested in a program called Dragon Naturally Speaking, voice recognition software. This allows her to “speak” her papers. The program types on the screen what she says into the microphone. It takes practice to learn to use the program but my daughter now finds it essential in her writing assignments.

The diagnosis from the learning specialist allowed for certain accommodations in my daughter’s schoolwork. We began implementing these. Her tests were given orally and with extra time. I no longer counted off for spelling errors.

Any writing assignments turned in for classes were proofed by me for spelling errors that slipped by her voice recognition software. My goal, as mom and teacher, was not to do her work for her but to come alongside only in those areas where she lacked ability. I strived to level the playing field, not make things easier for her than for other students.

“Gifted and Talented” for Ministry

God doesn’t require GPA checks before allowing us to minister to others. Life difficulties can yield a harvest of compassion in the soil of a bruised heart. My daughter’s heart was wounded yet ripened to come alongside others who were hurting. Her capacity to feel another’s pain was greater because of her own struggles to stand firm in the face of not “measuring up.”

Homeschooling allowed flexibility for my daughter to participate in community ministry. We learned of an after school program for disadvantaged children. When she helped elementary students with homework difficulties, she did it with patience and a knowing empathy. She was definitely “gifted and talented” for this role.

A trip to the Amazon jungle on a mission team offered her a chance to use her voice to lead ministry. Her compassionate heart made her a magnet for the children. They all vied to be the closest to her as she walked on the village paths or taught Bible lessons. For ten days she was a jungle super hero.

These ministry opportunities had a double benefit. People received help but she also began to experience success outside of the academic realm. She began to see the possibilities for her future.

The Future

College may not be for every child with learning issues. However, my daughter wanted to attend a Christian university to prepare for ministry. We made plans to attend a local Christian College Fair.

Halfway through the event, her shoulders began to droop. Usually, the first thing on the school brochures and out of the mouth of the recruiters was the proud statement of their number of National Merit students and the high GPA’s of entering freshmen. My daughter clearly was in the bottom quarter of those students being sought by the schools represented here; her College Board scores were dismal. She did find some schools with probationary admissions and colleges that offered help through academic help centers.

She could sense the doors slamming shut on her dreams until she approached one college table. My daughter asked her standard question, “What is your ACT/SAT cutoff for entrance?”

A wise recruiter looked into my daughter’s eyes and spoke words that gave her hope.

“None. We don’t use cutoffs. We find that those students with the top grades don’t always perform the best in ministry.”

My daughter flashed me a smile as she loaded up her bag with every brochure on the table plus the pen, magnet and bumper sticker.

She did end up applying to this school and is now in her senior year at this university. On her entrance application essay she wrote:

I have dyslexia. Some may call this a disability or even a reason not to enter college. I have to study and work harder than most to succeed in my class work and I am prepared to do just that. But, I consider dyslexia a blessing because of what I have learned. God has taught me: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” -2 Cor. 12:9 NIV

My daughter is no longer angry with God over her dyslexia. It has taught her to lean into God’s grace to receive His power for her life and her ministry.

The Battle Continues

The world continues to evaluate individuals by the measuring stick of academic success. As parents we have to be vigilant not to slip back into that realm. When a less than stellar grade report comes from the college, we strive not to overreact. We have had to sit down with our daughter and talk through her study habits.

At first, she was reluctant to ask for help at the university level. We had to coach her on how to meet with the learning specialists and speak up for herself by turning in her documentation and asking for the accommodations.

We actually role played with our daughter so she could practice talking to professors about her learning disabilities. She has learned to make it clear that she wants to take full responsibility to work hard but ask for help when needed.

Our daughter will never finish her journey. As she moves from college to the work setting she will continually have to incorporate her accommodations into her job tasks. She will have to stand firm when the world might assess her negatively. By continuing to see herself through God’s eyes and lean into His plan, she will be successful–God’s way.

Rhodema lives the parenting adventure with Calvin, her college sweetheart. They have two adult daughters and two teenagers still at home, a girl and a boy. Their homeschool style is eclectic with a great love of living history books. Rhodema teaches women’s Bible studies and is a MOPS speaker. Her blog for moms is Herding Worms.

November 30, 2009 By Lee 2 Comments

“Let’s get Kevin! He’s a reader!” From the earliest days of kindergarten, my child was labeled by teachers and others. At every birthday party he was called on to read birthday cards. No matter what the spelling words, they were always too easy. No matter what the math concept, he already knew it. Gifted education in the public school was a complete failure, so we turned to homeschooling.

To those on the outside, homeschooling a gifted child might look easy. Those with gifted children know it’s not! It can be incredibly difficult and stressful. Gifted children have their own challenges and unique needs.

There is wonderful news, though. Homeschooling can provide opportunities for gifted children that are simply not available in a traditional classroom environment. Homeschooling gives the best chances for a flexible curriculum, and it has the best chance of matching the interests of the student. Homeschooling is really the solution for gifted children!

Don’t Teach
The key to handling gifted children is to remember one concept. You don’t have to teach it, they just have to learn it. If your child already knows a concept, you’re done! Don’t teach it again, and just move on to the next thing. But how is that possible? Here are some strategies that can help you homeschool your gifted child with confidence!

Acceleration
Allow your child to go as fast as they want to go! Going faster through the curriculum can be as simple as working double-speed. For other courses you might want to pre-test each chapter to determine if you need to cover it at all.

Enrichment
Gifted children may go deeper into each subject. Instead of touching the surface, you can allow them to really dive into the topic with experiences and activities and reading, creating a thick and rich milkshake of learning in every subject.

Compacting
Gifted children may learn quicker, and could require less work that others. Eliminate busywork and repetitive tasks. Determine what they know, and if they don’t need require memorization or repetitive practice in order to learn a concept, then feel free to scratch those off your list.

Liberal Arts
Sometimes going deeper isn’t enough to keep a child interested. That’s not the only direction to go! You can also go wider, and expose children to a wider array of subjects. Explore Latin, logic, statistics, or piano at an early age. Think “Renaissance Man” and branch out.

Specialization
Gifted kids will often grab onto a subject with vigor, and work hard studying it for fun. Encourage them to follow their passion, and allow them free time so they can learn for fun.

Challenging
Keep their core subjects challenging but not overwhelming. It can help to assess them frequently. They may suddenly accelerate in math or spelling, so check to see if they have moved ahead without you, because they may not wait for formal instruction.

Mastery not Perfection
It’s important to allow them to work at their speed. As they are learning, be aware that mastery of a subject does not mean perfection. I have mastery over math, but my checkbook will testify that I’m not always perfect in math!

Multi-Age
If possible, choose a curriculum that is intended for multi-age homeschoolers. If you can choose the most challenging multi-age curriculum for a gifted child, then it may be age-appropriate. Using multi-age curriculum can help your child feel like they aren’t unusual.

Mentors
Try to find a mentor for your child who will understand their unusual interest. At first that may be a tutor, but as they grow older you may find that a college professor is the most helpful mentor.

Love
You love your child, and the Bible says that “Love covers a multitude of sins” (1Peter 4:8). Nobody is perfect, but you need to know that when missteps occur, it’s still going to be OK. Know your child, trust yourself and your judgment, and trust God to cover the missteps that occur.

God has made this child for you, so He must believe you are the right parent for the job. Don’t be anxious. You are the parent who has what it takes! Remember God’s promise:

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” Philippians 4:13

Lee Binz is a veteran homeschool mother of two gifted children, and owner of The HomeScholar. Her mission is “Helping parents homeschool high school.” She has a web page devoted to homeschooling gifted teens, and an audio course called “Gifted Education at Home”. Please visit her website, www.TheHomeScholar.com.

November 30, 2009 By LauraD Leave a Comment

After my last post on homeschooling gifted children, several HOTM readers wondered what to do next. So you’ve preliminarily assessed your child’s personality and abilities, and you think she might be gifted. Regardless of whether her IQ is abnormally high or whether she would qualify for membership in MENSA, you have a hunch that a typical curriculum approach may not work with your child. As I indicated previously, if your child inhales lessons like popcorn on movie night, you may have already discovered that curriculum in a box is not your best option. Following this approach can result in fascinating outcomes such as, “Meet my seven year-old 6th grader!”. Further, curriculum written for a 6th grader is not necessarily even appropriate for a much younger child. Thus, parents of gifted children need to seek other avenues in order to keep them challenged and engaged.

Many parents begin to notice that their children may be gifted at a young age. If your child talks long before she walks, particularly if her vocabulary is as sophisticated as yours, you may have a good indicator. Early talkers often become early readers. Unfortunately, our society is not necessarily conditioned to respond positively to parents who try to meet the needs of their voracious early learners. One reader of last month’s post noted that people have told her that all her gifted four year-old needs to learn are her ABC’s. If you are dealing with a gifted child, though, is merely teaching her what she ought to be learning at an age-appropriate level your best option? The love of learning is a precious gift from God, and it is a parent’s God given responsibility to nurture it to the best of her ability. If your four year-old has mastered the ABC’s, then by all means move on to reading!

If she is ready for addition and subtraction, begin using her dolls or his Matchbox cars to illustrate the concept! Don’t be locked into society’s notion of what is taught at which age. You know your child best. I give you fair warning, though. You will undoubtedly be confronted with detractors who will accuse you of “pushing” or “rushing” your child. What parents of non-gifted children fail to grasp is that it is so often the children who are rushing the parents! For parents of precocious or gifted toddlers, it is often with bittersweet feelings that they begin to teach their child to read while other toddlers are still happily being read to (or chewing on books!). For parents of older gifted children, the pang of realizing that a semester’s worth of lesson plans may last one month is not an unfamiliar feeling. Such parents may have also experienced the dubious thrill of their offspring gently correcting *them* as they introduce a new math concept, perhaps one that was something of a challenge twenty years ago when first it reared its ugly head!

And so we return to the original conundrum: what is a parent with a child who does not fit neatly inside the curriculum box to do? Simply be prepared to graduate her student from high school at the age of 12? Hold her child to age or grade-appropriate learning only? Neither option is ideal. Instead, parents of gifted children should be prepared to feed their child’s appetite for learning in the same manner as they would stoke a fire on a cold night: eagerly and as needed. For young children, this approach means allowing your child to tell you when she is ready to learn.

If your one year-old is speaking in complete sentences, don’t dumb down your own speech when you talk to her: use sophisticated language patterns and vocabulary so that she can continue to develop her verbal skills.

If your three-year old indicates a readiness to learn to read – teach her.

If your four or five year-old is bored with teddy bear counters and linking cubes, skip them! Dive into addition, subtraction and, yes, multiplication and division, too.

Take your cues from your child. I’m not necessarily speaking of purely child-led learning here. Some gifted children have to deal with the cross of laziness, so that learning style may not actually be the ideal one for all gifted children. Rather, I speak more generally of using your child’s aptitude and mastery of skills to let you know when he is ready to move on to something new, and *not* state standards or a curriculum’s suggested grade levels. Grade levels can be troubling enough for homeschoolers. They can be downright bedeviling for parents of gifted of children!

For older gifted children, very often the key is to find a curriculum (or to build one yourself) that engages your child on a deeper level than would the average curriculum. For example, A Beka is a very popular homeschool curriculum choice. Many students have been quite successful with this colorful, user-friendly workbook-based curriculum. For the average gifted child, though, a curriculum like A Beka is just not satisfying enough. It’s like serving a child chocolate mousse for dinner every day. It’s great for a few days, but soon he wants more.

It’s this sometimes insatiable desire of gifted children to demand more from their curricula which tends to exhaust their teachers (in this case, Mom and Dad!). Fortunately, there are curriculum choices designed with the gifted child in mind. A preeminent example is the Language Arts and Writing curriculum by Michael Clay Thompson. Math is more easily adapted to the gifted child. Simply allow her to proceed at her own pace. Rather than letting the curriculum dictate the pace to you (one lesson a day, four lessons and one test a week, for example), allow your child’s mastery of concepts to dictate the pace. If your child masters Monday’s lesson in five minutes, teach Tuesday’s.

Depending on your child’s age and other indicators, you will learn what limits to set. If, for instance, your child is doing ten math lessons a day, it may be prudent simply to skip to the next year of Math and then to fill in any gaps as they arise. For subjects like History and Science, choose a curriculum that allows you the freedom to branch out and explore — and then go crazy! Allow your child’s learning style and particular interests to dictate what you will study and how you will accomplish your learning goals. If your curriculum recommends one particular book for a spine, choose three or four additional ones.

When in doubt about choosing a learning path for your gifted child, turn to mentors. Not all of us are lucky enough to have a Titus 2 relationship with another homeschooling mom (or dad!), but all of us reading this post have Internet access! I promise that if you look, you can find resources to help guide you as you begin to craft a curriculum for your gifted young scholar. At the very least, remember three things:

God has gifted you with the right child for your family.
Expecting much from your child who has been given much by his Heavenly Father is not pushing him.
Allow the abilities of your child to guide you in your design of her curriculum plan. The younger she is, the more her desires should also play a role. As your child gets older, though, be sure that you are challenging her, even when she may not relish a challenge quite as much as she once did! Above all, keep those amazing minds engaged!

Laura Delgado gave birth to four children in exactly 40 months, but cheated since the last two were twins. She now happily homeschools her 8,6, and two 4 year-olds. She earned a Ph.D. in Political Science from Rice University, but finds that she uses her undergraduate Great Books education far more in her homeschooling pursuits. In addition to writing for various homeschooling publications, she creates educational materials for edHelper. For homeschooling helps and curriculum reviews, please visit her at http://livingasmartha.blogspot.com.

November 30, 2009 By Joonu 2 Comments

When you have a dream, there is always a gap between the vision and your current reality.

How you live in that space makes all that difference. In order to have the dream be reality you must develop into a person who has the capacity and skills to cause that dream. There is growth to be experienced, capacities to be created and developed, new relationships to be established, and skills to be acquired. Realizing that who you are today is not going to get you where you want to go can create tension, to say the least. It is easy to get overwhelmed and give up or give over to the inner saboteur and all your reasons as to why your dream will never happen. It is easy to find agreement from others as to why your dream won’t or can’t happen. You may blame yourself and make yourself wrong for things you’ve done or didn’t do in the past that seem at odds with what you hope to create now. The key is to realize that nothing was “wrong” until the moment you created the dream! In fact, there is still nothing “wrong”, only some distance of time and experience between where you are now and where you want to be. There is nothing wrong with you or anyone else. Everything is as it should be. There are simply new choices to be made and a new context to create. If you plant your feet in love and faith and do what is in your power to do, God will do what you can’t do.

To homeschool was our family commitment. Our dream was to create an extraordinary family through learning together. There are many other reasons for choosing to homeschool, but for us they are subordinate to the big picture; creating an engaged family where each member is respected, valued, and supported as a unique individual.

Who would I need to become in order to be successful?

How would my family change and be changed by the experience?

I didn’t know where to start. I felt overwhelmed. When I began to seek out resources, there seemed such an abundance that I became overwhelmed. I felt inadequate in the face of the vision. I had fallen far short of my own expectations in the mother and wife department. Now I had raised the bar from having a family that “worked” to a family that was extraordinary. I had gone beyond taking responsibility for my child’s education to taking on full accountability for all aspects of his education as well as making it a fun adventure for all involved. I could certainly find naysayers who would voice their concerns and doubts, but I resisted giving them power over my dream.

For the first time in my life I stopped planning and started to listen deeply and patiently wait for guidance. I think some of my close friends became a little concerned at my seeming lack of direction. My way of being in the world had always been to create a goal, a plan of how to accomplish that goal, assertively execute said plan through drive, ambition, and self-discipline, far exceeding expectations, and moving on. Plan and conquer. Achieve results. Now I was waiting and listening in faith. I felt directed to intensely study Paul’s letter to the Ephesians. One verse that stood out to me was Ephesians 2: 8-10

“For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God: not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them.”

It brought to light one of my biggest misunderstandings. I had been working so hard all my life to be “acceptable”; to be accepted by others, to earn good will and approval, and to prove myself worthy of God’s love and blessings. Mistakenly, it was a life of works trying to prove that I was a good person. I was able to put that aside. I realized I had nothing to prove to God and certainly not to anyone else. Ironically, it was at this time that I received word I was to receive two prestigious local awards in recognition of my commitment to community and service. Due to the timing, it was as if God was saying, “See, you’ve done incredible work. Now step back and refocus where you’ll be walking in service next.” I know that my friends and family were glad to see me slow down and take a break, but I could sense that some people were growing a bit concerned at the duration of this break. It was so unlike me. Perhaps I was depressed? I was praying and listening for God to show me the next step.

God showed me that the way to my dream was through the transformation of my heart. In order to have the capacity to lead and create an extraordinary family I needed to be on the love walk with Christ.

Ephesians 3:14 – 19 “For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God.”

Through God’s grace and a very generous gift that was given to me by my friends and family I attended The Landmark Forum, a transformational educational weekend and a 10-week seminar course. This program gave me access to creating possibilities in my life; to gain power over the stories I had created in my life and then lived by as if they were try; to be engaged in being authentic; and to remain powerful and creative in the face of anything life brought my way. Through this non-religious program I grew in my faith. After the program completed I realized the many areas in my life that I was being inauthentic and was sacrificing full self-expression in relationships.

One area I realized I was being inauthentic was in not standing in life as a Christian. I started to speak the truth of my faith with confidence. It wasn’t easy at first but I slowly began to experience that people appreciated my point of view. This was particularly challenging in my relationship with my husband who was staunchly against formalized religion. However, through several conversations he grew to understand my point of view. He grew to trust that I wasn’t coming from a place of judgment but rather a place of love and strength in my personal relationship with Christ. He experienced that my faith made me a better mom and wife and that it was the sustaining force in my resolve to create an exceptional marriage with him. Being “filled up to all the fullness of God”, I was truly overflowing and expressing that love to those around me. As a result, I experienced him as more embracing of a family practice of going to church on Sundays and incorporating worship practices into our daily family life. While being a Christian wasn’t my main reason for wanting to homeschool, I knew that I wanted to be able to bring my love of Christ into our family learning, asking God to work through me to show His abundant love for my loved ones. In ways that I could never think up on my own.

I knew that in my role of mother, wife, and teacher I must “walk in a manner worthy of the calling … with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:1-3)

I asked God to show me the places in my life where I was being proud, harsh, impatient, intolerant and not preserving of peace. Oh boy! You have to be really careful when you ask to have that kind of stuff revealed.

It was so painful to wake up to what a jerk I was being and had been in my life. To get how I had been so wrapped up in myself and my own selfish considerations and reasons and had not been walking in love was hard to take. I think I cried daily. It was almost unbearable to look in the mirror and see what was really there. Now, to be fair to myself, I have many friends and am generally a likable person. But the ugliness in my mind, my self-centered inner motivations, and the contract of how I saw myself as opposed to what was really going on and the true impact I had on others was shocking. I saw that there was a new level of integrity and empowerment in coming from a place of love and encouragement I could bring into my relationships. I was shown that once I got beyond myself, I could really be with people, see them for who they were, listen to them from a new place of generosity, and really serve them in their best interest verses mine! God did show mercy, and after a few weeks the onslaught subsided to a trickle. The realizations and awakenings still come daily but they are much more gentle now.

I got that I had been doing the best I could at the time with the tools I’d had. Now I had new tools and insights and so I had a new level of responsibility and new choices to make. I chose to forgive myself and march on. I had opportunities to clean up with some of my closest friends and family. That is a gift of the love walk. Once I vowed to walk in love and to be humble, patient, gentle, tolerant, and preserving of peace, I was able to direct that in for myself as well. I enrolled others in keeping me accountable to my dreams. I got in communication with people to get right with and apologize to them for how I’d been. This was such a blessing. I’ll use an analogy you to which we can all relate. It’s like when you go into the bathroom and come out with toilet paper on your shoe or your skirt tucked up in your panty hose. You don’t see it but everyone else does. There are a lot of people out there that will see it and not bring it to your attention because they don’t want to embarrass you or themselves. So they will carry on a whole conversation with you as if there is nothing wrong but the whole time they are distracted by the toilet paper or your skirt. Then someone will point it out to you, and in being embarrassed, you’ll make them wrong about it somehow! Well, once I started getting present to the jerk I had been and talking to people about it, it was no surprise to them. They knew on some level I was being a jerk. But they’d chosen to look beyond my behavior and love me anyway. What an expression of mercy! Some of these people have been my greatest teachers in that they were able to accept me and love me despite how I had been and had shown up in their lives. I can say I may not have been so gracious and forgiving if I had been them! They were relieved and moved to hear me acknowledge my mistakes to them and apologize. I now experience deeper intimacy and trust in many of my relationships which support me in creating an extraordinary extended family of loved ones.

So by letting God in to work on my heart, all the details of homeschooling are falling into place. All the choices of field trips, co-ops, curriculum and so on are working themselves out in time without much effort on my part. The appropriate choices seem to presents themselves.

Most movingly, in church this past Sunday we celebrated All Soul’s Day with a gospel worship. During service members of the congregation were invited up to share the names of loved ones who had passed to spirit. My husband, who had never felt moved to speak in church, went to to the pulpit and remembered our little unborn who passed in May, the gift from God that set in motion this period of searching and rebirth for our family. “I remember my unborn child who passed away in May. Although I never got to meet him or her, the baby’s short life brought our family closer together and for that I’m deeply grateful.” It brought tears to my eyes. We may never understand at the time why certain things happen. I choose to trust in God that all will be revealed in His time. That moment in church, it was all revealed to me and I’m so thankful for this opportunity to be with my family and create an extraordinary life with them. There is nothing wrong. Everything is perfect. I am becoming more and more each day through God’s grace the woman who has the capacity to create the dream of an extraordinary life for herself and her family.

Joonu is a wife and mother to a 3-year old energetic little boy and has one on the way. She is just starting out on her journey in homeschooling and embraces it as a family lifestyle. She is also a successful yoga teacher, the co-founder and President of a charity called Blackstone Valley WomenAid, Inc, coordinator of service activities at her church, and a Chief Dream Officer of an entrepreneurial development community for women called The Dream Factory Community. She enjoys being in nature, spiritual study, reading, golf, chocolate, and spending time with family and friends. She started blogging as a way of recording her observations and got great feedback from family and friends so she kept going. Her intention is that by sharing of her own experience she can offer resources, support, and ultimately enrich someone experience of themselves as whole, perfect, and loved. Please visit her blog at howhomeschoolinghappens.blogspot.com.

November 16, 2009 By Barbara 1 Comment

How many times have you heard, or said, “A place for everything and everything in its place”? You know as well as I that this is a helpful adage. And getting it ingrained in your kids can certainly facilitate an easier clean-up time. Nothing worse than saying to your children “Please, go clean up the craft area” and then finding that everyone has merely shoved all the craft supplies in to the toy boxes and book shelves because there is no obvious spot for those items to be stored.

However, the problem comes when you get yourself so nicely organized, and you get a place for everything that you free up some shelf or drawer space. Heaven forbid you’d have an empty drawer! Heaven forbid there might be a shelf with nothing on it! Has this happened to you?

We recently moved to a house that had more kitchen cupboards than our previous home. I found that my kitchenware fit nicely into my kitchen with room to spare. Immediately, I found myself looking for more stuff to fill those drawers. Perhaps I ought to go buy some cases of baked beans and bulk spices to fill the pantry? Same situation in the bathroom. The previous owners had installed a lovely vanity with plenty of drawers. We don’t need all these drawers. I found myself wanting to race to the store to stock up on extra hygiene and personal care items just to fill the space. Just how many bottles of shampoo and conditioner does one need to have on hand at all times?

I changed the adage to read: “A thing for everyplace and everyplace full of things.”

You can see the problems associated with this, right? Overspending your grocery budget, cluttering up your space, making it hard to find what you really need (and already have) because it is hidden by all the stuff…

But you don’t need me to tell you about de-cluttering and organization. You are likely significantly more “together” in that department than I.

What I would like to remind myself of, and possibly you too, is that we can have the same mentality of “more is more” when it comes to our spiritual life as well.

Gladly, this school year has found me a bit more organized than previous years. The hours in the day are stretching slightly, and I find there is some “empty minutes” in the day that could be filled with something. Particularly, I’m thinking of the early morning hours when I am awake before the kids to have my prayer and Bible reading time.

Now just calling it that is ironic to me, although you won’t know why yet. Here’s what I’m finding: I am trying to cram that hour full of stuff just like the drawer in the bathroom. First, I should try to read a short devotional. Then there are those good biographies my pastor keeps mentioning. Of course, there are the topical study guides that I’ve started and not finished: I could squeeze one of those in. And then there are the newsletters from the mission field to catch up on, the book about worship, the newest release from the mega church pastor that everyone says is a must read, and the book and journal on parenting that I really wanted to work through.

Any one of those things will definitely take an hour. But what did I say the hour was called? Oh, right. Prayer. Bible reading….

Right.

There is “space” in my mornings that I have cluttered up with so many things that, while beneficial, are really in the way of the stuff I need. All I need are my Bible and my ears open. Period. The other books and women’s studies and home-schooling resources and parenting lectures are all very good, and shouldn’t really be ignored forever. However, the Word does say that “All scripture is breathed out by God, and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God man be competent, equipped for every good work” (2Tim. 3:16-17). Do we believe that? Are we willing to test God in that, that His Word is enough to answer all our questions, and guide all our steps?

Here’s the challenge: Clear out an hour of your day for the Lord and keep it simple. Read a bit of the Bible. Pray about what you read. Listen to God more than you talk to Him. Simplify. Simplify. Simplify.

(And while you’re at it, empty out a drawer and leave it empty. You’ll smile every time you see it in all its bareness!)

Barbara and her husband, as they homeschool their 7 children, are finding out that no two children are alike! Between lessons and lunches, Barbara blogs at Fuel by Barbara.

November 12, 2009 By Brandi 3 Comments

Often as homeschooling parents, or simply parents in general, we love to ask others for advice. How do you do this? How did you teach that? I was approached a few days ago on a few issues and one woman replied back, “well I’m just going to have to follow you around for a day, you always have such good ideas.”

Which made me think, am I really doing what I’m suppose to be? Are my kids learning enough? Am I teaching them the right things? And the ever popular… am I failing my kids? Ok, so these are the questions we ask ourselves on a daily basis, if not hourly. Then on the other hand I thought, oh if only these women knew my house is in complete chaos more than there is order.

Most mornings I awake to my 2 year old jumping on my head screaming, “MOM I want cereal right now!” What a perfect way to begin the whole rat race of the day. I roll over to look at the clock thinking it must be some kind of crazy hour in the morning only to discover its already 9 o’clock. Oops! I overslept again, thankfully we didn’t have to be anywhere this morning.

Breakfast. School. Lunch. Laundry. Sometime the house has to get clean. Dinner. Baths. Bedtime stories. Bed, hopefully the monsters make it there by 10. Not to mention we usually have something going on during day.

Sometimes when we’re running the rat race called life asking ourselves the obvious homeschooling worry filled questions we just have to stop and think, did I do my best today? No not everyday can be like this, but most can. Was anyone in serious harm? If you knew my house that’s a very serious question. Did I teach my children to love the Lord more today than they did yesterday?

I was having a conversation one day about homeschooling with a former boss whose wife homeschools their children, and he said, “all I really want for my child to learn at this age is to love the Lord and to know how to pray.” That’s when I had an ah-hah moment. That’s why we start each school day with a prayer. That’s why we study the Word everyday. That’s exactly what I want from and for my children!

At the end of the day did I teach my precious 4 little monsters the love of the Lord? Did I teach them to love the Lord back? Did I teach them to pray? YES! I had a successful day even though I didn’t get up when I wanted to, even if things didn’t go how I wanted them to, all because I taught my children the important things in life. “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.” (Mark 12:30 NCV)

Brandi is a wife to her husband and a mother to 4 little monsters ages 9, 6, 4, and 3. She is currently in her 3rd year of homeschooling, using a Charlotte Mason type curriculum. They live in Little Rock, AR. When not busy with life she occasionally blogs at Mama of 4 Monsters.

October 20, 2009 By HeatherP 7 Comments

This summer I spent about 3 weeks preparing for our upcoming year. I had almost half of our year planned out and I was very satisfied at what I had accomplished. It was all nicely laid out in my freshly bought planner and organized by weeks in a special bin I bought just for the occasion. All I needed to start was my daughter, who was on vacation with my parents. I am a planner so this made me one very happy mommy.

We hadn’t done our testing for the year yet and that was scheduled one week before we were to officially start our school year. That testing changed everything for us in ways that I wasn’t really prepared for. I learned that all my hard work of planning out our year would have to be set aside to work on some issues that I didn’t realize were needing some attention. I had to come to the sad realization that all my planning was going to have wait. It was a hard thing to have to set aside, but I took a deep breath and started down a new path.

One of the beautiful things that I love so much about homeschooling, is the simple fact that you can so easily change gears if needed, and that is exactly what we needed to do. I have to admit that I was sad to see all that hard work of planning just sitting there, but it was more important to help my daughter in the areas where she needed it.

And I had to realize that this was no surprise to God at all. He knew exactly where my daughter was and what she was going to need this year. He is the one who called us to homeschool and has both of us in the center of His hand. I have to trust that He will guide our every step as we walk down an unexpected path this year. A path I wasn’t prepared for, but one He clearly was not surprised of in the least.

The verse from Jeremiah came to mind as I put my well prepared bin up in the closet for future use; “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11) I am thankful that we have the freedom to pause our plans and to be able to focus on the present and where we need to go this year. And although it may not look the way I had planned it out, God knows what the future looks like in our school, and He will guide our every step on this unexpected path.

Heather Preckel homeschools her only child and has just started her third year. She feels God has called her to homeschool not just for her daughter; but for what He has to teach her through it as well. Each day is a new opportunity to grow closer to Him and to each other in this journey. She resides in Western NC with her husband of 16 years, her 10 year old daughter and 2 dogs. She loves scrapbooking, photography and reading. She blogs about her everyday life, homeschooling, scrapbooking and her faith at Sweet Simplicity.

October 12, 2009 By LauraD 9 Comments

All children are a gift from God, arguably His most precious gift. We who are entrusted with their care and their education have such a great and joyous responsibility placed upon our shoulders! Fortunately, we also have ever greater resources available to aid us in our quest to provide our children with the best in a quality home education. After all, there is a label and a curriculum for every kind of homeschooling philosophy and for every kind of child. Even with all of these resources, though, do you ever feel as if maybe your child has somehow fallen through the classification cracks?

Maybe this description sounds familiar: your child plows through math assignments as if they were comic books and rarely, if ever, needs a concept explained twice. He completes a typical year’s math curriculum in half that time, and you have a hard time explaining to people that your six year-old is in 5th grade math (and in 3rd grade in other subjects). On the other hand, this same child cries over the smallest things, can be brought to a full tantrum by something as innocuous as a shoe that doesn’t fit exactly just-so, and seems to be allergic to everything! All of these characteristics are common with gifted children, but each could also reasonably be seen in a child who does not technically qualify as gifted. If you think you might have a gifted child, but can’t wait until the end of this article to get some hints, my feelings won’t be hurt if you skip to the last couple of paragraphs. Just don’t forget to come back!

Perhaps a more reasonable question than “is my child gifted” is one that I have asked myself: “Why does it matter? I know my child is special; I don’t need a label to prove it.”

Of course, each family can truly only answer this question for itself, but there really are some good reasons for identifying your child’s needs, regardless of what they may be. First, and this may come as a surprise to some people (it did to me), giftedness is often classified as a “special need,” both in the homeschooling and in the public schooling worlds. Gifted children require special academic, and often other, considerations, in much the same way that any other special need student does.

It is only after a parent has identified her child as gifted that she can begin to recognize the unique curriculum needs and/or learning style of that child. After all, if your child gobbles up two or more years of math in one year and reads many grade levels above his own, a typical boxed curriculum is probably not going to work in your family.

Also, because many gifted children proceed through school easily able to master new skills, they may become frustrated when that gift temporarily abandons them. In these situations, knowing that you are dealing with a gifted child can be tremendously helpful. Rather than wondering why your usually bright and eager student wants to give up after only one attempt at a new skill, having previously identified your student as gifted can help you to be better prepared to help her over what is probably just a temporary stumbling block. For a gifted child accustomed to mastering tasks with ease, being confronted with an academic skill that does not come easily can be at the least frustrating, and can even be crippling. Knowing your child’s mindset can help you to help your child at these times.

Additionally, gifted children do not just manifest their special needs in the classroom/homeschool. Often, gifted children exhibit a high degree of sensitivity, both physical and emotional. They tend to develop empathy more quickly than their peers, which can be both beneficial and detrimental, since younger children do not necessarily have the emotional maturity to cope with a heightened emotional response. This heightened sensitivity even extends to gifted children’s higher likelihood of having allergies! Therefore, having identified your child as gifted may help in more than just curriculum development issues. Such an identification may, in fact, help you better to understand your child’s whole personality. Your six year-old may not be an overgrown crybaby! He may, in fact, just be emotionally unable to process the assault on his overly developed sensory perceptions. As with all child raising, patience is a virtue!

By now you may be wondering if you are homeschooling a gifted child yourself. What should you look for? There are almost as many definitions of giftedness as there are web pages that address that topic, but in general these are some defining characteristics:

Gifted children tend to advance at a different rate than their peers, particularly in terms of working independently and exhibiting higher level thinking skills.
Gifted children tend to be natural and self-directed learners who thrive on intellectual activity.
Gifted children also tend to be highly creative when compared to their peers, particularly in terms of seeing relationships and associations between things.

As important as identifying what a gifted child *is* is identifying what he is *not*. Gifted children do not necessarily stand out as the brightest in the classroom. In fact, a significant subset of gifted children also have other special needs, such as ADHD, which can inhibit classroom success if not properly identified. Gifted children are also not better than other children: they are just different.

For the parents who want to provide them the best in education and home life, a gifted child can be as much of a perplexing puzzle as any other child with special needs. As with any such child, then, recognizing the particular needs of your child is the first step to providing him with the individualized plan for success that he needs.

Above all, rely on God’s guidance and trust that He has gifted you with the child who is right for your family!

Laura Delgado gave birth to four children in exactly 40 months, but cheated since the last two were twins. She now happily homeschools her 8, 6, and two 4 year-olds. She earned a Ph.D. in Political Science from Rice University, but finds that she uses her undergraduate Great Books education far more in her homeschooling pursuits. In addition to writing for various homeschooling publications, she creates educational materials for edHelper. For homeschooling helps and curriculum reviews, please visit her at http://livingasmartha.blogspot.com.

September 4, 2009 By Sallie 13 Comments

My mother is 90% deaf in one ear and about 75% in the other ear. She had a bout with scarlet fever when she was a little girl and it pretty much ruined her hearing. She has learned how to read lips pretty well but must concentrate to understand people. Her favorite saying when she hasn’t quite grasped what someone has said is “Do what, hon?!” It’s a phrase I have never heard anyone else say and one that I swore I would never repeat but I catch myself saying it lately. A LOT. It pops out especially when I get frustrated over the stereotypes that other people associate with homeschool families.

For instance, the other day I was sitting with a group of moms and they were talking about teenage hormones and the cat fights certain young men and women were having because of them. I said I could relate and they laughed me off. “Your kids are homeschooled. You don’t have that problem,” they said. “Do what, Hon?!” was the phrase that went through my mind.

Oh, right, I forgot. We’ve got the perfect families. I think that is what they must be thinking. But they are so very wrong.

I remember a few weeks ago, too, when prayer requests were being taken in one of my groups for the families as kids were getting ready to go back to school. I asked for prayer, too, as I organize our books, write lesson plans, and buy our supplies and curriculum. I had many bewildered looks and someone even said “But you’ve got it so easy. You can sleep late and do whatever you want.”

Guess what phrase went through my mind again? That’s right! “Do what, Hon?!”

I find that I don’t get angry at all with people who hold to these negative stereotypes of homeschooling but rather I feel sad that they have such a lack of understanding. I take it as my calling to gently explain to them why the view they hold isn’t accurate. I have been the recipient of the sharp end of a tongue (and sadly the giver of that sharpness as well) in the past and understand how hurtful it can be. I have learned as it says in Proverbs that a soft answer turns away wrath.

Romans 15:1-3 tells us that the stronger should bear with the failings of the weaker. Whether you believe those who homeschool are stronger in faith or not doesn’t really matter when you look at this scripture. I know plenty of Christians who are much stronger in their faith than I am and they don’t homeschool. However, homeschoolers who have a strong faith in their reasons for homeschooling ARE stronger in their beliefs than folks who have grasped hold of the negative stereotypes of homeschooling without determining in their own minds what is true and accurate. Bearing with the failings of the weaker does not simply meaning putting up with or tolerating. A word study will show you that it actually means carrying and lifting them up because they aren’t able to do it on their own. Jesus Christ never merely tolerated or bore with us. He lifted us up quite often, and still does!

Angry rebuttals will never do anything to change a persons mind when they have already given themselves over to a negative thought. Only gentleness and patience will make a difference. Especially if you are a Christian who homeschools your child, you have a duty to bear gently with others who hold to these negative viewpoints. Here are a few scriptures that will help you to remember that when you are greeted with negative stereotypes as well.

⁵Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. (Matthew 5:5, King James Version)

²²But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, ²³Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. (Galatians 5:22-23, King James Version)

²With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; ³Endeavouring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. (Ephesians 4:2-3, King James Version)

¹³Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom. (James 3:13, King James Version)

²To speak evil of no man, to be no brawlers, but gentle, shewing all meekness unto all men. (Titus 3:2, King James Version)

Have you faced negative stereotypes about homeschooling before? What are some Christ-like answers you have given in response to them? Please share in the comments…

Sallie is an off-again, on-again homeschooling mom to her 4 children, ranging from elementary to high school. In her writings, she discusses the challenges of homeschooling a child with disabilities and offers insight to those who sometimes feel all alone in a round hole world. Please visit her at Seaside Tales

September 3, 2009 By Belinda 5 Comments

Recently, a follower of mine “tweeted” (twittered? Twitted?) a link to a homeschool conference video. The particular topic of the video was, “What did Your Kids Teach You this Past Homeschool Year?”

As humbling a thought as this is for many of us who pour hours (not to mention dollars!) into curriculum and who sweat over flawless execution of our plans, it is very real. I should correct myself: it is very real if we are willing to step out of self and embrace the fact that we are not the only vessel through which education can flow. So, I thought about my own year, and what my children taught me. At first, the answers were superficial, and I almost felt silly. Yet, a spirit willing to learn something new led me to delve deeper, and I was left with such a spine-chilling sense of purpose until I thought it might bless you, too. This is what my kids taught me last year, and each year, for that matter:

Patience is not just a virtue; it is life and breath to your home environment. Whether you are entering year 1 of your homeschooling journey or year 101, it is your journey. Though some will take it as their personal responsibility to tell you what you should do, where you should be, and how you should have gotten there, what will be most important is to create an environment where your children can learn. Set goals, even stretch goals, but be open to your children’s needs, their challenges, and the way that they learn best. You will gain far more this way than by following a strict list of have-to’s.

Field trips in-the-moment can be very effective, but on a budget, a living book will free both the body and the mind. Not too long ago, our own trial with temporary unemployment during this recession left me somewhat depressed about all of the trips and tours we did not take this year. As an aside, our area offers a number of free/ low-cost trips and tours, but I prefer an in-the-moment excursion that enhances our current studies to a field trip just for the sake of a field trip. This means that our field trips often take us away from our immediate area and require planning and budgeting. We were not able to do that this past year—a real source of frustration and anguish for the way that I like to educate. Yet, one of my favorite bloggers described best what can happen when we experience learning through quality literature:

‘Music, art, animals, nature, politics, literature, poetry, equations, Rome, Iceland, Ireland, the moors, the sea, metropolises, machinery, the universe, the past, the poor, royalty, Heaven and earth…you name it, they have dipped their hands in the chest and pulled out something of value as they have explored truth and beauty in the world around them.’
From LindaFay’s HigherUp and Further In, “Ask and it Shall be Given You,” May 25, 2009

Taming the tongue is harder than taming a lion. This applies not only to how we speak to our children, but also to the negative self-talk we fall prey to when things are not going well. Once those plans go awry, it becomes easy to embrace what others might have said in a moment of sheer brainlessness:

“Maybe you aren’t cut out for this.”
“I’ll never be able to…” (or worse, thought about our children:) “You’ll never be able to…”

Come against the attack of the enemy, confess what the Lord says about you and your children, and step out on His renewed grace and mercy.

It may be the song of an unfamiliar bird, not the travels of Odysseus, that inspires a child to explore and discover. The end result is the same. I love to plan. I get excited about planning the way that some women get excited at a shopping mall or a lady’s night out. But, I realize—though it took some time—that plans can sometimes get in the way of what I really want the homeschool experience to produce in our children: a natural yearning to know more, to grow more, and to be more. When the kids run to the field guide to identify a stranger at our feeder, or launch into a discussion about some historical event or character (when I want them to do something else), this, too, is learning. Just because it was not written on my outline does not belittle the value of a purposeful diversion or its power to catapult their interests and overall education.

When you cannot feel God’s hand in your plans, trust His heart. Jeremiah conveyed it to us so very well, and my words will never be as eloquent as the Word of God:

For I know the plans that I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

May God bless you and quicken your spirits to the lessons He wants you to teach, as well as the lesson he wants your young ones to teach you.

Belinda Bullard is a wife and homeschooling mother of three, Belinda is an author and the owner of A Blessed Heritage Educational Resources, a literature-based history curriculum featuring African-American presence in history, as well as the contributions of other races to American history. A chemical engineer by formal education, she also serves as adjunct faculty for college distance learning programs.

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