Homeschooling is Not the Hub
March 4, 2010 by Debra
I am a huge goal maker. My birthday comes on the heels of New Year’s Eve and so I spend several quiet winter nights reflecting on the past and projecting on the new year. This year as I journaled my thoughts I knew something needed to change… in me.
Honestly, I am at the edge of determining whether or not to continue this homeschooling journey. It’s simply not going the way I want it to go, not producing what I want it to produce. I am weary and worn and so are my boys. I know that I can’t continue doing the same thing and expect a different result. Albert Einstein called that “insanity.”
So, things must change.
An illustration gave me a shove in the right direction. If you imagine your life as a wheel with a hub and spokes, what would you say is at your hub? I nailed it right from the beginning: homeschooling has become my hub. It’s what I write and blog about, it’s how I define what I do when people ask. It snuck in there and became my center from which everything else springs.
Let me tell you this: there is simply no strength in homeschooling and certainly not a sufficient amount to hold up every other aspect of life.
No wonder I feel like I’m collapsing.
I know that my hub needs to be my faith in Christ. I’ve grown up in the church. I’ve been through seminary. I’m married to a pastor for goodness sake. I feel stupid to have forgotten that. But I did. Homeschooling is only a spoke in my life, just like writing, ministering and mothering. I cannot make a decision about our future of homeschooling with a skewed center. So, I’m looking forward to putting things right again this season and to get back to balanced thinking.
If things aren’t going well for you then map out your own “wheel.” Honestly, what is at your hub? What spins your life wheel and where does your power come from? If it only comes from you then you may find yourself questioning the rest of your year as well. Move that incapable center off to the spokes and get on to driving the rest of your year with grace and truth.
Debra Anderson has three sons ages 10 and younger. Her passions are education, mentoring, her husband, writing, church ministry and missional living — not in that order. She has her seminary Masters degree in Christian Education and is married to her true-companion pastor-husband in their home of Denver, CO. In spite of moves between four different states, she has always home educated their boys — even on the hard days. She maintains a blog at www.emergent-homeschool.blogspot.com.
How to Give All Year
January 3, 2010 by Julie
Each year, I notice the amount of time spent on frenzied shopping, baked goodies, Christmas card lists, parties, the perfect gift for an acquaintance or co-worker, special meals with friends and family and oh so much more. With each year that passes, the kids get older, we have more friends spread throughout the world, we draw ever closer to retiring from the military and there are two things that remain constant. One is our love for the Lord, the other is that things in life will always change.
But with all this energy and time expended, I sit back and wonder how much time is spent remembering “the reason for the season”, which brings to mind another question, how much time do I spend throughout the year on these types of things? Should I only be in a spirit of giving this one time a year?
I have made more of an effort over the last five or six years to be in a spirit of giving and put God first the whole year through.
Whenever I share this with other people, their first comments are, “Isn’t that expensive?” and “That’s terrific!”. I want to share with you that I have found it’s the simplest things that really show you care and most cost little to no money, but do require time and thoughtfulness. The time and thoughtfulness are a way for us to let Christ’s light shine through us and put God first. After all, the Bible tells us to edify and uplift one another and what better way to do that than to show appreciation and love?
Here are some things you can do to show your thanks or love. They are combined events from my own personal experiences as well as those of friends and family. Some we have blessed others with, some we have been greatly blessed by others.
Put your skills to work!
1) While I was a child care provider, a divorced military Mom needed someone to care for her two boys while she was in the field for two weeks to train a group of soldiers preparing to deploy to Iraq. This was during the holiday season and there was much she would miss during this time. I took pictures of everything we did, paid $7.00 to have them developed and then utilized scrapbooking materials I already had on hand and created a beautiful memory book (with the boys’ help). She was very touched by the gesture and now takes that scrapbook with her each time she has to be away from them.
2) If organizing comes naturally, help out a friend or family member that expresses their frustration to you! Although it may seem insignificant, offering your time can make a world of difference, whether they take you up on the offer or not.
3) A friend of mine, who also home-schools, offered Math tutoring to a neighbor’s daughter, for free! Her efforts greatly impacted the young girl in more ways than one and even had positive affect on the girl’s family. Goodness knows, there are plenty of subjects out there to offer expertise to someone who needs it.
4) A family in need? Plant a seed! There are small things you can do to make things easier. If they have an illness in the family, offer to prepare a meal. Some friends of ours were in a car accident a few years ago and all of them had injuries, except their then 10 year old daughter. I called people in our community and asked each person if they would be willing to cook a meal and on which day and deliver it to the family. It was so successful that we were able to provide this family supper for 2 weeks!
5) My Mom, ever creative and talented, drew a portrait of a family member and gave it as a gift!
Want something super simple? Try these suggestions out!
1) Many years ago, my Mom made what she called a “Warm Fuzzy Jar”. The jar could be an empty peanut can that you recover or you can get a cheap plastic or glass jar from a dollar store, it’s up to you! She made small little cards with smiley faces on the front and inside were written some of the coolest memories! Some were sad, some hilarious and others just reminding me of how special I am to her. I love that jar and still go back through the memories from time to time.
2) Little notes in lunch boxes, brief cases, on a computer screen, in a coat pocket, etc. A note saying I love you or God made you special or any of a hundred other things you could think of.
3) A hand written card or letter, any time of year! You can always make your own card and make it custom designed for the person you’re sending it to! A phone call to say hi, you’re on my mind and wanted to tell you and hope your day is great! An email or networking site post to let someone know you’re thinking of them.
4) A hug or a smile. Taking time to play a board game or read a story. Just looking someone in the eye and saying, “You are so important to me! I’m so glad you’re in my life”.
5) Make your own coupon booklet to give a friend or relative. You can include “coupons” in there that you know that person will really appreciate! Things like, “Good for one home made sweet potato pie”, “Good for one afternoon of board games with Mom and Dad”, “Good for a morning of coffee and chit chat”. You can include the specifics on each coupon too, such as, “Redeemed at a time convenient to all, please ask in advance”.
So, there you have it! Each year I strive to be better than the year before and come up with something even more special and creative for the individual I’m appreciating. So, as 2010 approaches, please remember to stay in a spirit of giving and Shine On!
Julie is a happily married Navy spouse of 16 years, and a homeschooling Mom. She served in the Navy prior to having their children, a daughter – age 15 and a son – age 7. Not only does she have the joy of homeschooling their children and learning from them as she teaches, but she is attending college for her long sought after degree. In her spare time (what’s that? Giggle, giggle) she enjoys fishing, camping, scrapbooking, card making, crafts, reading and oh so much more! The question most often asked of her is, “Do you blog?!” The answer (at this time) is no. She does, however, enjoy contributing to various discussion boards and posting notes on others’ blogs.
An Extravagant Life
December 16, 2009 by Misty
Last week I was online, chatting with my sister-in-law about menus and grocery shopping. At some point during our conversation she said, “We know how to be frugal around here.”
“Right! That’s great!” I said at the time.
But later, thinking back on our conversation, it left a sour taste in my mouth.
Why, you ask? Why was it that while I was willing to high-five her “frugality,” I found myself balking, thinking I wouldn’t want the same term applied to me?
I’ve referred to myself as frugal in the past. Being frugal is supposed to be good. Especially in times like these, when so many are really struggling, and *all* of us find ourselves in need of being more careful with our finances. There are plenty of great women out there helping others save money, encouraging people to be careful with the way they spend it. I belong to a grocery savings information service myself.
I thought about it a lot over the next few days.
Am I “frugal?” Do I want to be? The word “frugal” has a lot of connotations, and I’m sure we might define it differently. But most of us would probably agree that it implies a holding back . . . measuring carefully . . . not quite taking our resources to the limit.
Something about that just rubs me the wrong way.
Here’s the thing . . . I don’t want to be that. I don’t want to measure everything– not my money, not my time, not my efforts or emotions. I don’t want to give grudgingly. I don’t want to slap the kids’ hands when they reach for one more cookie, or cross people off my Christmas list because I’m trying to keep the gift budget low. I don’t want to buy the perfume I don’t like as well because it’s ten bucks cheaper.
I want to live extravagantly. I want to splurge and enjoy and give more than I think I can.
I think God’s like that. He owns the cattle on a thousand hills. He did pretty well with a few loaves and fish, and He didn’t leave anyone out. When there was a cost to be paid– a debt He didn’t owe– He paid it with His own life.
And anyway, He seems to appreciate extravagance . . .
Now when Jesus was in Bethany, at the home of Simon the leper, a woman came to Him with an alabaster vial of very costly perfume, and she poured it on His head as He reclined at the table. But the disciples were indignant when they saw this, and said, “Why this waste? For this perfume might have been sold for a high price and the money given to the poor.” But Jesus, aware of this, said to them, “Why do you bother the woman? For she has done a good deed to Me. For you always have the poor with you; but you do not always have Me. For when she poured this perfume on My body, she did it to prepare Me for burial. Truly I say to you, wherever this gospel is preached in the whole world, what this woman has done will also be spoken of in memory of her.”
~Matthew 26:6-13
I’m not saying we should be stupid and spend money we don’t have, nor that we should just throw what we do have out into the street. Our money is God’s, and we’re His stewards. We need to walk in wisdom, and we need to please God in the way we use what He gives us. But I think there’s so much fear right now in the world, especially in regards to money, that we’re in danger of courting a different sort of problem– that of becoming miserly in our spirits. Penny-pinching in our budgets starts to spill over into every other area of our lives. The way we deal with money might become the way we do everything. And that might not be good.
I want to live an extravagant life. It’s going to take a while to flesh out exactly what that means. How about you? As you consider the extravagant gift God sent us in His Son, Jesus, what does extravagance look like in your own life?
Misty Krasawski is the overly-blessed mom of eight children whom she homeschools in sunshine-y Florida. She has been clinging ferociously to the hand of her Lord since she was knee-high to a grasshopper, homeschooling for the past thirteen years, and has eighteen more years ahead of her with the children who are glad she will have done most of her experimenting on those who went before. Her wonderful husband Rob has much treasure laid up for him in heaven for having been called to such a daunting task. After the house goes to sleep she can sometimes be found gathering her thoughts at http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/MistyKrasawski.
Not Be Greatly Shaken
When Jesus left the earth to return to His Father in heaven, He expressly told us that we would have trouble. The exact word He used in John 16:33 was the Hebrew word “thlipsis,” which in essence envelopes a whole host of unpleasant circumstances: anguish, affliction, burdens, persecution, tribulation, and being crushed and pressed from all sides.
This doesn’t come as much surprise, seeing as many of us feeling this “crushing” and “pressing” very often in life.
Whether it’s standards we place on ourselves (all other perfectionists can understand this with me) or pressures from external avenues, we sometimes feel heavy and weighted, overwhelmed and inadequate.
And then there are the things that unexpectedly fall into our paths we’re trodding on, completely unforeseen and unpredictable. It may be the death of a loved one. It may be the loss of a job. It may be the foolish act of a suddenly rebellious child. It may be the diagnosis of an illness. It is in these trying times when our faith in the God who created us is tested the very most.
What are we called to do when hardships hit? (Notice I said “when”….not “if.”) We can take direct guidance from David, the writer of the Psalms.
“My soul waits in silence for God only; From Him is my salvation. He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be greatly shaken.” Psalm 62:1-2, NASB
In Psalm 62:1, we see what we should strive to do. We should wait silently for God.
The key word here is “silently.” To wait silently doesn’t exactly include what we usually find ourselves doing. More often than not I’ve found myself senselessly complaining, donning a victim mentality, or wringing my hands with worry.
There are promises that follow in Psalm 62:2. HE ONLY (“He alone”) will be our stronghold. He alone will be our rock. He alone will be our salvation. And you know what else? We “shall not be greatly shaken.” The word “greatly” is here for a reason. It signifies that we will be shaken, but not “overmuch.” We may be rattled, but we will not be moved off course. Like a lighthouse’s light beam piercing through the blowing rain and fog, even an ever-tossing, storm-worn ship will find its refuge.
Meg is a devoted wife to her husband, Ken, of 9 years, and mom and homeschooling teacher to her two children, five-year-old son “G” and three-year-old daughter “R.” When she’s not writing or creating something, Meg loves to cook for, host and entertain friends and family. She also enjoys reading, the outdoors, eclectic music, yoga, and studying history. You can read all about her adventures (and misadventures) at her blog, Muses of Megret and read her educational product reviews at Muse Reviews.
When Are You Grown Up?
December 11, 2009 by Sheila
I was not a happy teenager. I didn’t particularly like the high school scene, the ridiculous courses, the boring teachers, and the regimented schedule. I used to dream of finally being a grown up and being allowed to make my own decisions. I idolized adulthood.
Then I hit eighteen and nothing magical happened. Surely I’d feel like a grown up in university, though, right? Or maybe when I landed my first full-time job?
Nope.
Many of my friends seemed comfortable in their skin. They knew who they were, and they weren’t afraid of letting others know where they stood. But I was still waiting for some magical writing from heaven to appear and label me, once and for all, an adult, so that I could feel capable, mature, and competent, too.
Unfortunately the writing failed to materialize. And yet, sometime in the last few decades, I must have crossed an invisible line. It may not have been accompanied by thunderous applause, but I definitely passed from mini-me to fully-me. Even though I can’t define the precise mode of this miraculous transformation, I can tell you the results.
I knew I was a grown up when it came to men when I could stop asking, “Does he like me?”, and start asking, “Do I like him?” And when the answer was yes, I married him.
When it came to children, I knew I was a grown up when I stopped worrying what other people thought of my kids’ behavior or development and just concentrated on being the best mom I could be.
I was a grown up, too, when I stopped pulling out the makeup and the mousse to impress other people, but just started doing it to make myself feel pretty. When I started prioritizing feeling good in my body, I felt like a grown up in it, too.
I was a grown up when I could calmly talk to a salesperson about what their establishment had done that was beyond the pale, instead of letting them walk all over me.
I was a grown up when I could invite people over for dinner and not worry about whether they’d like what I prepared. I’d just cook what I liked, and figured everybody else would make do.
I was a grown up when I called my mom for her advice, and not her approval.
I was a grown up when the fact that my father didn’t understand me became a cause for pity for him, rather than for angst, anger, or introspection on my behalf.
I was a grown up when I started letting myself dream dreams, instead of living out the dreams other people thought I should have.
I felt like a grown up when I acted like others were my equals, instead of feeling insecure around those who were of higher rank or status than I was.
I felt like a grown up when I could pray with other women in my church, even older ones, and feel like I could offer some counsel.
I felt like a grown up when I could run into an acquaintance and have a conversation and not remember until the next day that I was supposed to be mad at them. I guess I don’t carry grudges the same way anymore.
And I know I’m a grown up now that I can admit my faults to other people rather than trying to pretend to be perfect. I know now that there’s no point in pretending.
I felt like a grown up now because I’m realizing that this isn’t my life; the next life is my real life. This is only preparation. So I think I can let go of things a lot easier now and not worry so much what other people think.
And I knew I was a grown up when I stopped worrying about whether or not I was one. I don’t have to wait for my life to start; I have to make my life what I believe God wants it to be. This is my life; it’s up to me to live it. After all, I am a grown up, even if it’s been a long time coming.
Sheila blogs daily at To Love, Honor and Vacuum. And you won’t want to miss her podcasts! She homeschools her two daughters, writes, speaks, and knits. Preferably all at the same time.
Walking Among Them Wrap Up
It has been an an amazing journey. Walking with the amazing women of the Bible. We have walked with well known women as well as women who are barely mentioned. As I sit typing this last post, I remain in awe of the unique lessons each one has so graciously given to us. They were women, much like ourselves who loved, laughed, cried, worried, wondered and looked to God for answers in their lives. God continues to use their lives to impart wisdom into ours and for that we are eternally grateful.
If you haven’t joined us this year, the archives are available and the while the walk may leave your feet a bit dusty, it is a walk worth the effort. The year long study began with women from the Old Testament who offered such profound lessons. As we moved into the New Testament we looked deeper into the familiar women on our walk. We have wandered from Eve to the Widow with Two Coins and many in between, and while each one told a unique story, each one was a blessing.
- Eve: article and pdf
- Sarah: article and pdf
- Rebecca: article and pdf
- Jochebed: article and pdf
- Miriam: article and pdf
- Ruth: article and pdf
- Abigail: article and pdf
- The Queen of Sheba: article and pdf
- The Widow of Zarephath: article and pdf
- Gomer: article and pdf
- The Shunammite Woman: article and pdf
- Review: article
- Elizabeth: article and pdf
- Mary, mother of Jesus: article and pdf
- Martha: article and pdf
- Dorcas (Tabitha): article and pdf
- Salome, Mother of James and John: article and pdf
- Joanna: article and pdf
- Lydia: article and pdf
- Mary of Bethany: article and pdf
- The Widow with 2 Coins: article and pdf
It is my prayer and hope that this study has in some way touched the hearts of those who have journeyed with these remarkable women of days gone by. It is with a servant’s heart that I leave you with a prayer from my heart.
Father God,
Thank you, truly thank you for the opportunity that we have had to walk and wander with these women from the Bible. Thank you for teaching lessons through the lives of others. Help us as we go on from here, that our eyes always be open, and that our hearts be ever ready to receive what you would place on our hearts. It is with humble desire that we want to live the life that you would have us live. Thank you for revealing so often in the lives of those women who have walked before us, your awesome hand and limitless love. Lord, I pray for each of the women who have walked with us this year. For those who walked each walk and those who only briefly joined the journey. I pray that your ever watchful hand be upon their lives. May mercy and grace, love and forgiveness always be theirs, and may the peace that only comes from you be always and abundant in their lives.
In Jesus’ name,
Amen
Lori is a 6th year homeschool mom to 3. Currently she homeschools a 9th grader, a 7th grader and a 5th grader. Lori hopes to impart peace and inspiration amidst the daily chaos. It’s in the daily details of life that she is continually inspired! Be sure to visit her blog at All You Have to Give and at Internet Cafe Devotions.
The Story of Our Adoption Part 2: Starting the process
November 24, 2009 by Nikowa
Journey with Nikowa and her family as she shares with us her path through adoption.
Since we initially wanted to have our own baby, that’s what our hearts were set on– having an infant. We also knew that we wanted a girl, since we already have 2 boys. So we researched the internet and found a local private agency that specializes in open adoptions. This is where the entire adoption process is open to all parties involved, the birth mother and the adoptive parents. Most especially the child is made aware from the start.
We anxiously attended the agency’s free weekend seminar and was eager to begin the process. But after seeing the cost, we struggled for months with how we’d afford it. With this particular agency, they have a sliding scale fee schedule according to your annual salary. This adoption would actually cost twice what our new car did! After much prayer, we decided that this just wasn’t the path that we were supposed to take.
But we still wanted a daughter. So we then prayed about our other options.
Lord what do you want us to do? I know that it was Your Will for me to not have any more children from my own womb, are we not meant to have more than the 2 boys? Lord please show us the path that we’re supposed to be on. You know that we desire more children, but if that’s not what You have planned for us, so be it.
We continued on with life, continued praying and watched for “signs” of His answers. (We’re true believers of signs.) We soon got notice from our homeschooling group that they were holding an informational adoption seminar. “WOW“, we thought, “we’ll attend this meeting and see what happens“.
The meeting went wonderfully. There were about 4 families there with quiverfulls and ironically we were the only ones that showed up that wanted more information. It was like the class was specifically for us! What a sign! We went home very encouraged and hopeful.
Our hearts began to feel burdened for children that need a home. We started to see more of those “help the children” commercials on t.v. We’d see on the news about children being taken from their parents or abandoned.
I hear you Lord. We will feel the need that is already there in our community. We want to help.
Not long after that, we contacted our local Department of Family and Children Services to submit an inquiry. We just wanted information on the process of adopting through them. After all, Kevin was out of work at the time; surely they wouldn’t consider us in this situation at the moment! I got a call back that they were having a class in a few months and that we could attend, but because I submitted an inquiry they had to put us in the system within 30 days. We immediately started getting up all of our required paperwork for background checks, physicals and preparing our home for the home study.
We knew that we wanted our daughter to be younger than our youngest…so we decided 6 years old and younger, also so I could homeschool from the start. We purchased drawer and cabinet locks, made sure all of our pets shot records were updated, and even bought a fire extinguisher! Also, slowly we’ve been buying “a little here, a little there” on sale, at yard sales, borrowing, and taking people’s hand-me-downs. We have everything from infant formula to booster seats all read– waiting for her.
Over the summer we took our required classes (and even infant/child CPR). We were given several websites and a book to view currently waiting children that are in the system. During the class, they explained that you’ll have an epiphany moment when you see “the one”. You’ll be looking through and you’ll catch your breath when you see the child. We were so excited to start looking!
Nikowa has been homeschooling since 2007. With her “learning never ends” philosophy, they have an eclectic year-round approach to learning. When she’s not teaching, she enjoys photography, organizing, cooking, and reading. She is a #1 LOST fan and watches UGA football too! (Go Dawgs!) You can visit Nikowa at Knowledge House Academy.
Write at Home: Gina Conroy
November 23, 2009 by Marybeth
Welcome to Write At Home, a monthly feature here at HOTM. Marybeth Whalen will be introducing you to homeschool moms who write: curriculum authors, novelists, nonfiction writers, and popular bloggers and more. Many of us are deeply inspired by these moms who seem to “do it all.” This feature will provide you with a glimpse into their everyday lives.
Today we have Gina Conroy joining us. She is the mastermind behind the popular writing website Writer… Interrupted and an inspiration to many writing mamas!
Hi Gina– thanks so much for joining us today! We are delighted to have you here. Tell us about your homeschooling experience. What led you to it? How long have you homeschooled, etc?
I always loved the idea of homeschooling but told myself I would never homeschool because of a personality clash between me and my oldest. Ironically, he’s the reason I decided to homeschool. Although a very bright boy (and extremely inquisitive) he had trouble with self control and calling out in school. He often corrected the teacher and didn’t seem to have the self control to sit still in a private school setting. We tried two different schools before we had him tested for everything from learning disabilities to giftedness. He scored gifted with impulsive ADHD tendencies. It was then that I knew a private school setting wasn’t the best place for him. I wasn’t sure homeschooling was either, but I was willing to give it a shot. His younger brother was excelling in the private school but I couldn’t see juggling a school schedule with a homeschool schedule so I brought them both home and homeschooled them from 2nd and 4th grade for the next three years.
I’d love to tell you homeschool was the answer, and everything was bliss. Unfortunately homeschooling raised a million more questions and at least three times a week I “threatened” to send them back to school. I still wonder if it was all a part of God’s plan, but either way, we learned and cried and grew as a family. Now they are both thriving in a small classical Christian school and my oldest is a model student. Maybe he just needed a few more years to mature, maybe homeschooling taught him what he needed to learn for going back to school. All I know is that God worked all things out for good.
Currently I’m homeschooling my two youngest with intentions of putting them in the same school in a couple of years. The second time around is going so much better. These two are easier to homeschool and I’m wiser and not as militant about their education as I was with the first two. We’re on a more relaxed schedule and they’re still learning, plus they now attend classes two days a week at the classical Christian school where I teach creative writing to 2-5th graders. Yet, with having them in school I am realizing that they are behind in a few areas and if I want to get them up to speed for sending them to school we need to work harder.
You have an active website, Writer… Interrupted. Can you tell us how that got started and what the site is all about?
Writer… Interrupted began out of my own need to connect with writing moms and homeschoolers to figure out how in the world they balanced it all. I started a small blog and then invited others to blog with me. In the course of a few years it grew into a group blog and then an online community. Currently the site is under construction and I hope one day to convert it to a monthly magazine with columns devoted to balancing life, work, homeschooling as well as columns on craft and marketing. Basically, I want it to be a one-stop place for busy, interrupted writers to find all they need to keep them informed, educated and motivated in their writing life. I have all the writers lined up, all I need is the time and money to move forward with the project. Not sure when that will be but the NING community is alive and active!
You clearly have a passion to encourage other writers. How have you been encouraged by other writers?
My interviews with over 100 moms and dads have been extremely encouraging and given me what I need to keep going. Their candid accounts of balancing life and writing has also been convicting to me at times. Especially during the times my life has been out of balance whether spiritually or relationally. The biggest encouragement I’ve found through these interviews is that most of them acknowledged that, when their priorities begin to slip, they just redirect their focus, ask the Lord to set them straight and start fresh.
What are some of your best tips for moms who want to balance homeschooling and writing?
Make a plan that works for you. Every year my homeschool schedule changes, so does my writing schedule. Just because it worked last year doesn’t mean it will work this year. Last year I woke up early to write, but found that I’d go past my allotted time because my kids would sleep in and then our homeschool time would be cut short. This year, I’m determined to homeschool in the morning and find other times to get the writing in. Not sure when that will be, but I’m looking for opportunities!
Where are you on your publishing journey?
Somewhere between Egypt and the Promised Land! I’ve had two completed manuscripts make the rounds and though I’ve received positive feedback from editors on my writing, the stories weren’t fits. My agent Chip MacGregor has been a huge source of encouragement. One thing that keeps me writing are his words, “you’re too good not to have something out there.” It keeps me focused on the writing and not the rejections. Currently I have two story ideas he’s excited about and the editors I’ve spoken with so far have been positive.
You are a member of ACFW, the American Christian Fiction Writers. How has joining that group and attending their conference been helpful to you?
I’ve learned so much from the annual conferences and from talking with people on the email loop, but it’s the relationships with other writers that have been most valuable. I’ve meet others in similar life circumstances and have seen many friends published. This is also bittersweet, but through it all God’s been bringing me to a place of contentment in my writing life and I’m truly at peace with what he was planned in my publishing journey. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t like the pace God’s set for me, but He knows best and I trust His plan.
Without the people I’ve met through ACFW I wouldn’t be as far along in my writing journey as I am. They’re not only encouraging, but give of their time and knowledge freely. I’m currently president of the local chapter and the members of ACFW have been so generous with their time, coming to speak to our group for little or no compensation.
To learn more about ACFW, go to www.acfw.com.
Finally, what would you say to that mom out there who has the dream of writing a book tucked in her heart?
Be patient!! God’s got a plan for your writing and even though you might not be able to devote all the time you want to writing, you can still be doing other things like learning and attending writers conferences. And most of all, don’t make the mistake I did and put all your energy into your writing so that there’s nothing left for your family. I’m still trying to learn the balance between family and writing and know I don’t have to give it up completely, but when it becomes the most important thing in my life, I do know it has to take a back seat to what IS really important. Family, people and relationships!
Marybeth Whalen is homeschooling mom to six children ranging in age from teen to toddler, as well as a speaker for Proverbs 31 Ministries. In her writings, she addresses things like burnout, dealing with interruptions, and handling homeschooling from a very practical perspective. Be sure to visit her blog, Cheaper by the Half Dozen.
Lessons Learned as a Military Family
November 17, 2009 by Julie
When I first sat down to write this article, my mind was a flurry with partial ideas and the nervousness of what in the world do I share with people? How am I supposed to write something down to earth that will speak to their hearts and not sound preachy? What I came up with is to share with you a little about our life.
As a military home-school family, we’re often asked, “How do you do it?!” And usually my response to that is, the same way you manage your home-school, one learning opportunity or teachable moment at a time. The demands of the military, the schedules, separation of family, leaving good friends, making new friends, the moves (ack, the moves! 12 in 17 years, I can now unpack our house and look like we’ve lived there for a year in THREE days!) are all a part of our lifestyle. Adding home-school to the mix, actually made things easier! We are able to continue our home-schooling when we’re in between duty stations. Many times when moving, we may spend anywhere from a week to 2 months living in a hotel while looking for a home to rent or a home on base to be assigned to us. One thing is certain, we are never short of teachable moments! So, if you will allow me, I want to share with you some of the incredible lessons we have learned from our every day life.
1. A smile has more power than you realize!
In some of the most stressful situations, arriving Guantanamo Bay, Cuba in 2002 to the reality that 60% of our belongings were either broken or missing, our daughter smiled at me. At first I thought, good Lord! How can she smile at a time like this? And the Lord quickly humbled me with, “How could she not? You’ve a beautiful family, the opportunity of a lifetime to be in this country at such a time as this. The ‘things’ that are missing or broken are just that, ‘things’! Thank you Lord for setting the example and smiling upon your children! In that moment, I had the opportunity to share with our daughter how Christ’s light had shone through her.
Psalm 18:28-You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.
2. Flexibility is as necessary as food and water.
We all have our preferences when it comes to what we want to eat and drink, but when it comes right down to it, we can’t always have our favorites. This holds true with being flexible. Of course we want to keep to our schedules, lesson plans, etc. and still can, but they may not be on the days we planned them. I think as a home-school mother, I can be my own worst enemy when I put flexibility on the back-burner. I can not have a rigid schedule when everything around me requires that I be flexible. We’ve learned that God’s direction for our lives will far exceed anything we could have planned out.
Psalm 33:11- But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations.
3. Grow and bloom where you’re planted.
Embrace every opportunity with the knowledge that God is sovereign and knows what we need most. I learned early on that comparing the previous duty station to the new one, sapped my joy and didn’t leave me open to experience the new one without bias. At each new duty station, I meet new people, have new experiences, learn about different cultures and tackle another mess that the Lord provides me with to minister to someone with. Now I have fond memories of all our experiences and people we’ve met, but I am also creating new memories to my life’s journey.
4. Everybody needs a day off!
I tend to get caught up in life in general and before I know it, the “days off” are only days off from school for the kids. I end up using those “teacher workdays” to catch up on grading, records tracking, housework, etc. Just a few weeks ago, our son asked me if I would play a board game with him to which I told him I needed to finish the laundry. He asked again and I told him I needed to finish cleaning up the kitchen so I could make supper. He was such a good boy and each time said, “Yes, Ma’am” and quietly walked away to play with his toys. After supper, he asked if he could help with the dishes and I said “Sure, buddy, get out your step stool!” As we washed dishes together, he said, “Mom, I know you were busy today and I understand why you couldn’t play with me. But, do you think you’ll have time tomorrow?” The understanding and maturity that came from our 7 year old’s eyes washed over me and the ache I felt in my heart at the moment, his big blue eyes looking at me, was utterly overwhelming. I was teary eyed and apologized right then for having put all those chores ahead of loving and spending time with him. Later, at my evening prayers before bed, I had the hardest revelation of all. How often do I put the Lord on hold just like I did our son today? OUCH! I made sure to share this incredible lesson the Lord had, the next day with our kids. Part of me loves those ‘Come to Jesus Moments’, the other part me knocks my head (like I should have had a V-8) for having needed them. 
I’m so thrilled that God is a gentleman, patient, kind, forgiving, compassionate and more, all the time. Of all the things I appreciate the most, it’s the forgiveness, cuz Lord knows I screw up ALL the time. As a dear pastor has said, “He wants to turn your mess into a message and your test into a testimony”. I’m glad I’m still here to keep learning, teaching our kids and passing on to others what I’ve learned in hopes they will be encouraged.
Thank you all so much for reading! I’m sure you have stories similar to mine in your lives as well and I look forward to hearing about them. Until then…
Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. 2 Peter 1:2
Julie is a happily married Navy spouse of 16 years, and a homeschooling Mom. She served in the Navy prior to having their children, a daughter – age 15 and a son – age 7. Not only does she have the joy of homeschooling their children and learning from them as she teaches, but she is attending college for her long sought after degree. In her spare time (what’s that? Giggle, giggle) she enjoys fishing, camping, scrapbooking, card making, crafts, reading and oh so much more! The question most often asked of her is, “Do you blog?!” The answer (at this time) is no. She does, however, enjoy contributing to various discussion boards and posting notes on others’ blogs.
Walking Among Them: The Widow with 2 Coins
November 14, 2009 by Lori
The object of this study is to take some time out of our busy, often chaotic days and spend some time with women who have gone before us. Not just any women, but 26 women of the Bible. We’ll “Walk Among Them” and see how their stories relate to our lives. It’s my hope that we will discover God’s presence and grace in our own lives as the lives and lessons of these women unfold before us this year.
Walking Among Them, The Widow with 2 Coins
It’s a short but profound walk this week. Our wanderings with the Widow with 2 Coins can be found in Mark 12:41-44 and Luke 21:1-4.
Mark’s account is brief;
“Jesus sat down near the collection box in the Temple and watched as the crowds dropped in their money. Many rich people put in large amounts. Then a poor widow came in and dropped in two small coins. Jesus called his disciples to him and said, “I tell you the truth, this poor widow has given more than all the others who are making contributions. For they gave a tiny part of their surplus, but she, poor as she is, has given everything she had to live on.”
She is poor, she is alone and yet she completely trusts in God. In a word, WOW.
The coins are worth less than a penny. They are Greek lepta and they are copper coins. How incredibly ironic that the coins the widow places in the box are next to worthless and yet because of her great sacrifice, are worth more than massive amounts of gold to the Lord.
We know the commands. They are evident all throughout the Bible. We are told that we cannot serve 2 masters and can not serve both God and money. (Luke 16:13) We are reminded in Hebrews 13:5 that we should not love money and to be satisfied with what we have. The command are clear and yet it’s the widow with two coins who just seems to “get it.” All those around her, those who had studied and were learned took a lesson from a poor widow, and we too walk away with the same simple, profound lesson.
With each woman that we study, I’ll have some thoughts and ideas for reflection, meditation and journaling that will be called “Reflections from the Walk.” It’s in Walking Among Them that we can learn lessons that we can take with us on our daily walks.
Reflections from the walk:
As the holidays approach there may be no better time than the present to reflect on the message that is so eloquently expressed in the story of the Widow with Two Coins.
The widow was content. In a world where many of us struggle with issues of contentment, in particular, material contentment, it does our hearts good to read and re read the story of how at peace this woman was to part with her best for God.
Is it difficult for you to part with your best? Jesus pointed out the Widow to the disciples that day. She was an example that He wanted them to witness. He wanted them to notice and 2,000 years later we are still noticing her act of generosity.
This may be a difficult session for you. Examine your habits with money. Examine the habits of your family. Look honestly at your heart for giving. Are you a spender, saver, hoarder. Pray that God will reveal areas where there is work to be done. This will likely not be easy, topics involving money rarely are, but if we are going to come to a place where we can have the “Widow’s heart” then it will begin with our relationship with money and contentment. If this is an area of struggle for you, then this may be an opportunity for you to seek quality Christian counseling on money. God has great plans for each of our lives, but money and materialism often interfere with those plans.There are many resources available. Consult your pastor or trusted Christian friend for references.
Trust is the cornerstone of the Widow’s story. Where in your life do you see a lack of trust? Do you hoard food in your pantry for fear that you will not have enough? Do you hoard clothing in your closet (perhaps 6 different sizes) just because? Do you give of what is left over out of fear? Take one small step this week. After honestly and openly praying about the areas in your life where something is getting in the way of your true relationship with God, take a step to surrender and trust.
personal note**
Personally, I have to work on the issues in regards to food in my pantry. I was convicted that my full pantry was a testimony of fear. I needed to let go of a full freezer and over stocked shelves and let God provide weekly. It has freed me from keeping it all for myself and helped me focus instead on the needs of those around me.
As the holidays approach many will find worry increase and joy plummet. Sincerely pray that this year it WILL be different. Look at ways that you can give from your heart and not out of habit. Giving from the heart will require more time and effort but moving out of worry into true joyful obedience will make the holiday season a truly a time of celebration.
A PDF of this study can be downloaded HERE.
Next month we’ll wrap up our year long study of Walking Among Them.
Lori is a 6th year homeschool mom to 3. Currently she homeschools a 9th grader, a 7th grader and a 5th grader. Lori hopes to impart peace and inspiration amidst the daily chaos. It’s in the daily details of life that she is continually inspired! Be sure to visit her blog at All You Have to Give and at Internet Cafe Devotions.
