Encouragement — Heart Of The Matter

July 5, 2010 By Lee 3 Comment

Is homeschooling high school an overwhelming task? Instead of looking at the big picture, sometimes it helps to focus on smaller, simpler tasks to achieve your goals. If you just look at the end result, “High School Transcript” or “College Admission,” you may become overwhelmed.

Consider the story in the Bible about Jesus changing water into wine. He didn’t tell the servants to “Change water into wine.” Instead, he gave them three easy steps. Each step was possible and manageable. Read his instructions in John 2:1-11. He gave his servants very small, manageable tasks.

A Step-by-Step Guide to Changing Water Into Wine:

Step 1: fill jars with water
Step 2: draw some out
Step 3: take it to the master

Jesus did not even MENTION the end result. He just gave the steps. In fact it was Jesus who was in charge of the scary end result and final consequences. The servants (that’s us!) only had to handle the small, individual steps. If the servants had focused on changing water into wine, they would have become overwhelmed. Instead, they were simply asked to fill jars. God was in control of the quality of the wine. They just had to do one simple thing at a time. Jesus brought the joy to the event, and he brought the highest quality of wine. He can bring joy and quality to your homeschool as well when you focus on one step at a time.

You will succeed at homeschooling high school, because your child has been given to you – because God knew in advance this day would come. He knew what you needed for this day. Your job is to focus on raising your child today. Keep your eyes on the prize – producing a well-educated and happy grown adult.

I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.
~ Philippians 4:13

Do not panic! You are completely capable of doing this! Your child has been given to you – it’s been planned this way forever! You have what it takes to do the work – God promises to strengthen you! This is a completely doable task.

The secret of your success will be the love you have for your child. The love for your child will teach you what they need to know, how they learn, what they are missing, and how to prepare them for the future. Love won’t teach you calculus, but you don’t need to know calculus in order to homeschool high school. Instead, the love for your child will motivate you to find a way for them to learn. Love will urge you to seek resources and curriculum choices that will fit your child.

Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
~ 1 Peter 4:8

The love you have will cover the difficulties you face. You will fail at some small tasks, because we all fail at small tasks every day. Even high-powered professional executives will fail at small tasks regularly. But we will succeed at the big task: raising and educating our children. Your child has been given to you, so you know you can homeschool high school. You know you are capable, because you have the strength of the Lord behind you. And when small missteps occur, the love of your child will cover you.

You will be successful. Do not be afraid. Take it one step at a time.

Lee Binz is a veteran homeschooling mom of two and the owner of The HomeScholar, “Helping parents homeschool through high school.” She has a new free minicourse called “The 5 Biggest Mistakes Parents Make When Homeschooling High School”. You can sign up for her free email homeschool newsletter, The HomeScholar Record and get your daily dose of wisdom via e-mail from her homeschool blog, The HomeScholar Helper.

July 4, 2010 By CarolB 6 Comment

Things had gotten bad in our support group. The battle lines had been drawn. Two of our homeschooling membership had gotten into a competition of sorts. They came to each meeting with scripture on their lips and a quiet smile plastered on their faces, but there was a squint-eyed gleam in their eyes. And it was getting worse with each meeting.

Barbara Ann arrived just a tad early to every meeting practically bursting to share her son’s latest feats.

“Why yes, this past month my son Reginald was accepted to the NASA Jr. Space internship program, <pause for effect>, his essay got 1^st place in the Patrick Henry Brains-of-America contest, and with the sheer power of his mind he rid himself of the measles. Praise be to God.”

The room held its breath and waited, for they knew that now… it was Wilhelmina’s turn.

“We’ve got a praise report, too!” Wilhelmina popped up. “Our little Desmond’s building design has been chosen for the new Presidential library, the book he wrote last year is in its third printing, and <tearful eyes…sniff, sniff> he touched us all with finding a little orphan boy in Croatia and giving him his spleen.”

Wilhelmina triumphantly sat down, but Barbara Ann now looked menacingly at her son Reginald’s abdomen, presumably searching for spare parts.

I will admit to you that this is a slight exaggeration. The Barbara Ann/Wilhelmina exchange is only an example of how some praise reports make me feel, not what they actually report. In fact, most of the time the comments are perfectly reasonable, and the women doing the reporting are actually…well, lovely. But there definitely are two camps in homeschooling circles.

Camp 1–those whose kids are on an upward spiral to be more and more impressive with each passing month and

Camp 2–those whose parents are working harder and harder to hide the fact that their kids’ best accomplishments include falling out of their chairs and burping through the names of the apostles.

Actually, there’s also a third group—and that is the vast majority of those who fall in between groups one and two. Most kids won’t be a starting forward for the NBA, or missionaries in Peru, or winners of the televised Spelling Bee. Most kids learn their times tables relatively “on time” and can generally read at grade level. And most kids will graduate with some sense that George Washington, George Gershwin, and George Clooney are not contemporaries.

So what’s the problem? Well, it’s that we all tend to judge our success by those who are achieving more than us. And of course the bad news is that there is always someone achieving more than us! Everywhere you turn there is someone doing something that you have yet to do. You start homeschooling by creating a reasonable list of expectations for the school year, but that creeping virus of borrowing from everyone else’s plan begins to set in.

At first you decide to read Bible stories to your children. But then you learn that Julie’s child is studying the Greek and Hebrew roots of words in selected verses.

Scratching scribble sounds. It goes onto your list.

Then you planned on working through a sweet little science book. But you learn that Rebecca’s children are splicing their own DNA.

Scratch. Scratch. Scribble. Scribble.

Every monthly visit to your support group adds 3-4 items on your ever growing list. But even if you don’t go to support groups, you can do the same thing with homeschooling magazines. Pam, another homeschooling mom, shares “I quit reading home school magazines years ago when a mother wrote in about how her 18 month old had a heart for the unsaved Asian children of the world. 18 MONTHS old! At the time, my 18 month old was sitting on the back porch picking the fuzz out from between her toes!”

There’s nothing wrong with being on the lookout for new ideas that might be well-suited to your children and your academic objectives. The problem is when ALL the new ideas sound like they might suit. Even with good ideas, there can simply be too many of them on your list. You cannot do it all at once. You may be providing a huge variety of wonderful, enriching exposures for your children, but the downside can be a frenzied activity-filled day that leaves everyone exhausted.

So what’s a homeschooling parent to do? It’s really an issue of trusting yourself.

Make your plans. Determine your objectives for your child. Then, stick to your guns.

And when the Barbara Anns and Wilhelminas of the world amaze and astound with their superhuman achieving children, just smile, nod, rejoice with them in their good fortune…and then pray that Reginald gets to keep his spleen.

Carol Barnier is a fresh, fun and popular conference speaker unlike any you’ve heard before. Her objective is to have the wit of Erma Bombeck crossed with the depth of C.S. Lewis, but admits that most days, she only achieves a solid Lucy Ricardo with a bit of Bob the Tomato. She is a frequent guest commentator on Focus on the Family’s Weekend Magazine broadcast, has been a guest on many radio programs and is a speaker to conferences nationwide. She’s the author of three books about dealing with (or possessing) a non-linear mind in a linear world: How to Get Your Child Off the Refrigerator and On To Learning, If I’m Diapering a Watermelon, Then Where’d I Leave the Baby?, and The Big WHAT NOW Book of Learning Styles. You can find Carol at her main website, CarolBarnier.com and SizzleBop.com.

July 2, 2010 By Lee 6 Comment

Have you ever wondered….

“What grade do you put on a transcript when you don’t use a test?”

My son Kevin thought my homeschool grades were stupid. “Who’s going to believe the grades my Mom gives me?” he would say. Then he took classes at community college! The professors gave credit for class attendance, participation, discussion, and homework. If the students scored poorly on a test, they were allowed to “drop” one test. A teacher declared that the highest grade on each test was the “100%” grade, and all the other students were graded on a sliding scale. I had won Kevin over! “You were right, Mom! Your grades were a lot tougher than college!”

But how do you give grades to your homeschool student? First of all, if you give a grade based on tests alone, then you are doing your student a disservice. In high schools, as well as in some colleges, students may never be judged based on test scores alone. After all, a test only measures what you DON’T know. We are trying to express what our children DO know. A grade is usually a mix of things, and if we don’t grade with a mix of things as well, we are putting our kids at a disadvantage.

As homeschoolers, we tend to move on after our kids have mastered the material. If you are a parent that sends math problems, English papers, or tests back to the student with “please correct this” messages, then you have high expectations. I recommend that when your student does “meet expectations” that you give them 100% for that test or assignment. If it means you’re giving them a 4.0 in every class, that’s fine – as long as they meet your high expectations.

Now you know that a grade on a test is not the same as a grade on a course. You know that “meets expectations” can mean 100% on evaluation. But how do you give a grade when you don’t give any tests? The key is to think about how you DO evaluate your children. Just between you and me (don’t tell!) the ways we evaluate are often the same things we nag about. Isn’t that a dirty little secret? Consider these phrases: “Are you done with your reading yet?” (Yes? Literature Reading, 100%.) Or “Have you finished your spelling words yet?” (Yes? Spelling Practice, 100%). Sometimes the things that we nag at them NOT to do are also ways that we evaluate. For example, “Kevin, will you PLEASE leave that chessboard alone!” (Daily Chess Practice, 100%) or “Alex, get away from the piano!” (Piano Practice, 100%).

When you think of how you evaluate, think about everything they do that you call “school.” In our homeschool, I only graded tests in math, foreign language, and science. That was mainly a matter of convenience for me – those were the curricula that came with tests! For all 28 of our other classes, I used other ways to evaluate my children. What did they do in their daily work? For English, I decided to evaluate their reading and writing. For reading, I further decided to grade on areas like: reading, discussion, analysis, and research. For writing, I evaluated them on every paper, so I listed each paper by the title or topic (Emancipation Proclamation, for example.)

I didn’t actually “grade” the paper. I just edited it after they wrote it, and sent it back to them for corrections. Once it was done to my satisfaction, then I gave them 100%. Other times, I didn’t list the actual titles of the papers they had written. Instead, I would list the KIND of papers they had written: essay, research report, short story, or poetry. Finally, I decided that the testing they did each year for their annual assessment was also an evaluation. The areas on those tests were “vocabulary, comprehension, spelling, mechanics, and expression.” For each of those items, they scored grade level or above, which met my expectations (yup, another 100%!) Our no-tests English 2 grade looked like this:

Notice that every way I evaluated them, which met my expectations, received 100%. If you have trouble viewing these charts, you can go to my website, www.TheHomeScholar.com.

What areas do you use when you evaluate your children? You can give a grade for each test, quiz, paper, or lab report. Consider also these general ideas: reading, reports, discussion, research, daily work, oral presentation, composition, practice, performance, note taking, attendance, and narration. You may want to give a grade for each activity they complete within a course. For example, you could give a grade for every activity you count as PE hours: swim team, skiing, soccer, free weights, health, and softball. For music, you might want to give a grade for lessons, practice, and performance. In history, you could give a separate grade for each report, paper, or essay they wrote on historical topics.

I did keep traditional grades in Biology – mostly because Apologia Curriculum provides tests. Even so, my students did more for that course than just take a test, and I wanted that reflected in their grade. I supplied a numerical percentage grade for each test, grading as suggested by the curriculum supplier. The other major activity in that course was their science lab. I decided to give them a grade for every science lab they completed. If they met expectations, their grade was 100%. They didn’t always meet my expectations, however. When my kids did a lab write-up, I expected them to give me a paragraph describing what they did, along with a diagram, chart, or sketch of the experiment. There were times that I felt they hadn’t done their best. At times, I would give them 80%, or 90%, depending on my mood. Yes, it was arbitrary! But they had NOT met my expectations, and I wanted their grade to reflect that. Our Biology grade looked like this:

“Mom knows best” sometimes means that a grade will be a “B” or lower. When you honestly know that your child has performed at a lower than “A” level, don’t be afraid of how it will look on a transcript. Honesty will always serve our children best, and a B can demonstrate thoughtful consideration of your grades. It says that all your grades are real, and you have considered each one carefully. There are times when your honest grade will include a B (or lower) on a test, or paper. Make sure that the total grade on the transcript will accurately reflect everything your student does, and every area that you evaluate their work. If they have an “A” for effort in a variety of ways (discussion, daily work, narration, research, lab work, etc.) be sure to include everything they do. In the end, if the transcript grade is still less than an “A” then go ahead and write it down. There is no permanent damage from that! If it’s honest, write it down.

I know that my grading system is one of many “right ways” to do things. As the parent, you can decide the “right way” to grade your homeschool. I’m giving you this glimpse into my homeschool evaluations, because I think it really helps to see what someone else has done. This is just a sample for you to look at and adapt for yourself. When I started thinking about transcripts, I loved seeing every sample I could find!

At times it’s appropriate to show the nuances of your grades to a college, and you want to demonstrate that your “homeschool 4.0″ is not a number pulled out of thin air. You want to demonstrate thoughtful consideration to the ways you evaluated your student. You want to show your standards and your method of grading. Then let the college decide how they will use the grades, knowing that you did your very best to provide them with the information they need. Homeschool grading is an art, not a science. Don’t feel like you have to do everything exactly the way I did. Remember! Mom and Dad know best – especially how to evaluate their own children. You can do this! And I’m here to help!

…

July 1, 2010 By Dawn 2 Comment

Seventeen years ago my husband and I made the decision to homeschool our oldest child after he had attended public kindergarten and first grade. Our decision was based on the following reasons: we were no longer comfortable entrusting a large portion of his education and training to strangers; we wanted his daily presence in our home, not just on nights and weekends; we wanted his education to be in line with our beliefs; and we felt that as his parents, we would be the ones most committed to educating our child. He was homeschooled from second grade through high school graduation.

Although we now have eight children, the original factors that led us to homeschool are still valid today. I donʼt think many parents begin homeschooling with the intention of putting their child in public or private school when they reach high school. Many times the decision is born of fear, misinformation, or a lethal combination of the two.

The voice of fear says:

“I never understood Geometry. How can I teach my child?”

“We canʼt do lab sciences at home.”

“My child canʼt get into college without a high school diploma.”

The Bible says:

“For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound
mind.” ~ 2 Timothy 1:7

When fear is the deciding factor behind your decision not to homeschool through high school, remember that God is not the giver of that fear. If God called you to homeschool your child, He will equip you to continue to do so. Trust Him.

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and
not of evil, to give you an expected end.” ~ Jeremiah 29:11

God has a plan for your child and it is between the two of them. You will not ruin it. We have now graduated two high school students from our home school. With the first we used an accreditation program, with the second we didnʼt. One attends a college in our state; one will start at an out-of-state university in the fall.

Just as every child is uniquely individual, their high school and college plans will reflect this. Bathe your decisions in prayer and trust the Lordʼs guidance.

May your homeschooling through high school journey be blessed!

dawn Dawn has been homeschooling her eight children–ages pre-K to college–since 1993. Her interests include photography, and both graphic and web design. She is the owner of Barefoot Blog Designs, and also blogs at My Home Sweet Home, her photoblog and The Homeschool Post.

May 31, 2010 By Guest 1 Comment

When I was in grade school, homeschooling seemed “normal” enough. Sure I didn’t go to school, but all my peers thought it was cool. They loved the idea of homeschooling and a lot of my friends who went to school actually would ask their parents to homeschool them as well. Then along came the high school years. Many of my friends suddenly thought homeschooling wasn’t “cool.” To make matters worse, I began getting questions from adults about homeschooling through high school. Why would anyone homeschool through high school? What about Prom, homecoming, and football games? How can a homeschooled high school student have a social life? These are just a few of the questions I get. Surprisingly, I have found that the answers give me “normal” experiences while allowing me to experience all the advantages homeschooling offers.

If you know what you want to do after graduation, homeschooling can be the best option. Many careers require some early training. In these cases, homeschooling allows flexibility and time for that training. For example, I decided early on that I wanted to go into the arts, mainly theater. Homeschooling allows time for me to train more than the average teen in school would have. I am able to adjust my school schedule so I have time to take dance classes in the morning, have voice lessons, choreograph shows, and prepare for auditions. I am also able to integrate my school and my training. For example, if I have to write a report for English, I will often pick a topic related to the performing arts. I also am able to adjust my school schedule to work with my training. In school, for me there is a point A and a point B. The goal is to get to point B in a timely manner and to do well.

When you make the decision to homeschool in high school, it’s natural to wonder about stuff like Prom, Homecoming and football games. I have found I have still been able to do all these things. I went to a high school homecoming my freshman year with some friends who attend a local high school. I go to football games with friends. Our local homeschool group hosts a Prom each spring. So be at ease, future homeschooled high school student. Opportunities to share in these high school activities do exist!

What about friends and socializing? It turns out that all is not lost at all. If you are part of a homeschool co-op or group you will probably have lots of opportunities. If not, you can still have plenty of opportunities. You might just need to put in some extra effort to make new friends. If you are involved a church youth group or any kind of class, you will have tons of socialization time. This is not to say that you won’t struggle at all. All high school students struggle with friends from time to time. The important thing is to make sure you make time for friends. Try to do something with at least one friend every weekend. Meet at Starbucks for coffee, go to see a movie, or maybe even go out to eat with a group. Don’t forget to connect with the people you are around all week. For instance, I have dance classes which keep me busy as well as musicals in my community. I am also currently choreographing a show for a local high school. It’s true; some of us aren’t surrounded by teens all the time like students who attend a formal high school.

However, if you think about it, not everyone who attends high school has friends. Some teenagers suffer with loneliness even though they are surrounded by people eight hours a day, five days a week! You can be surrounded by people and not be connected to anyone. You have to be willing to put time and effort into a friendship. I promise if you try, you will find friends.

Homeschooling through high school is a big decision for anyone to make. Don’t let questions from others influence your decision. They can be annoying and even hurtful at times, but can also help confirm to you that homeschooling is the right choice. The important thing to remember is that you are doing what is best for YOU. There will be ups and downs along the way, but you can be sure that if you choose to homeschool though high school, you won’t have to miss out on a thing.

Taylor Nieman is a 16 year old, homeschooled High School Sophomore. She is heavily involved in the arts, specifically in dance, music, and theater, and is training with the hopes this will open the door for future career opportunities. Between balancing school, lessons, and rehearsals, Taylor loves working with underprivileged children and hopes to further continue that specific area of ministry.

May 31, 2010 By Tammy 16 Comment

As you begin homeschooling, there are a host of questions that may be in the back of your mind:

Can I really do this?
Can I really teach my child what he needs to know and give him a proper education?
Can I find the balance between being a mom and a teacher?
Can I keep up with all my other responsibilities?
Can we afford the financial portion of schooling at home?
Can my child be properly socialized?
Can my child still be involved in sports?
And what if I fail?

What if I fail……

That is the BIG question, isn’t it? And it is even bigger when you do fail. Or at least think you’ve failed.

Having graduated my first two children from high school with one going on to complete college and the other completing a tech school, I felt like I could breath a sigh of relief. Yes, homeschooling does work! Look at the success!

Then along came my third child. The one who had the most imaginative creative stories ever. The one who could design magnificent Lego structures, build a fort in the woods, or sketch a funny picture. The one who could recite dialogue or songs from any movie he had ever seen. The one with the wacky sense of humor who was either dressed as a pirate or a military soldier in his younger years. The one who regularly hugged his mother and was loyal to his family and friends. The one who carried around babies, entertained his younger siblings, and connected with every pet. The one who read G.A. Henty late at night. The one who loved God and had a strong love for his country. And when it came to homeschooling, the one who never quite completed his studies from year to year and should have had “Procrastination” as his middle name. For this, my dear reader, is what got him into trouble.

Each year as we finished up our schooling, he always had a bit left to do in a subject or two which we vowed to work on during the summer. And each year that commitment lasted for about a week and then we’d all forget and fully enjoy the short summers where we live and not think about book learning until the end of August.

Then he hit high school and it was a repeat of those grade school years. He’d never quite complete all of his studies leaving a course or two almost done at the end of the school year. We tried a variety of corrective measures, changed studies to accommodate his learning style, and still nothing would motivate him to finish. As he became old enough to work in my husband’s business, his summers were spent working with dad and during the last two years of high school that work seemed to affect his studies in spring and fall as well. He easily became my husband’s right hand man at work as he was responsible, committed, and loved working outdoors.

And there sat some of his high school courses. Uncompleted.

And there sat his mother beating herself up over failure. Completed.

While I was busy thinking about all the things I must have done wrong with this one and how I should have done this or that or the other thing, he was busy doing other things. Things like taking on more responsibility in my husband’s business, getting involved in the youth program at church by working with a group of junior high boys who enjoyed his teaching, and discipling a handful of high school boys he met with weekly. Now living in a house at the other end of town with a friend he’d know since babyhood, each day he’d stop in the house before or after work to give his mom a hug, grab something to eat out of MY fridge, and lovingly tease his siblings a bit.

For awhile I’d remind him to work on finishing up his high school course work during the winter months when work was slow, but it never happened. I then went to the second verse of this tune and suggested that he should consider getting his GED and be done with the schooling chapter of life, and again it didn’t happen.

Then one day I heard the Lord whisper in my ear, “Let go and LOOK.” After wrestling with the Lord using every “but, Lord” excuse I could find, I did what He was asking me. I let go. I looked. And the Lord reminded me of the vision that began our homeschooling years. The vision was not to raise educational geniuses, but to raise children who would grow to love and serve the Lord giving them a solid education in the process. And it was then that I realized that essentially my vision had been accomplished as I witnessed the young man of integrity standing before me. He did love and serve the Lord wholeheartedly, had received a solid education, and thoroughly immersed himself into the things he loved doing. Not only did I let go, I relaxed.

Isn’t it amazing how when we let go of things and give them to the Lord He can then begin working? For it wasn’t long after that when a series of events led my son in a direction that had been placed in his heart a long time ago. He was immediately prompted to go through the GED process which had the requirement of prep courses and then taking the actual test. He breezed through it. Then there were a series of other steps and tests that were necessary for him to accomplish the goal God had instilled in his heart, and he did well with each one. All the ‘i’s were dotted, the ‘t’s crossed, and his name was signed on the dotted line. And a week ago I kissed and hugged this son good-bye as he entered the U.S. Army.

Homeschooling failure? Perhaps the world would say so as the required courses at home weren’t all completed. My heart says the opposite. I’m proud of who this son has grown to be and know that in the days ahead he will continue to be filled with integrity and loyalty as a man who loves his family, loves his country, and loves his Lord. And really, isn’t that the heart of the matter?

Married in 1980 and still living in the same house in a woodsy rural setting, Tammy’s homeschooling journey began in the fall of 1987 when her oldest turned six years old. As rather new believers professing Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, homeschooling was a way to live out the principles found in Deuteronomy 6:4-9. Through all the challenges of life Tammy has stayed the course growing to a family with nine children who presently range from preschool age to college graduates married with children. Her role has transitioned from learning everything she could about homeschooling to becoming an encourager to others coming along the way. Please visit Tammy at Garden Glimpses.

May 31, 2010 By Guest Leave a Comment

“My son, do not lose sight of these— keep sound wisdom and discretion, and they will be life for your soul and adornment for your neck. Then you will walk on your way securely, and your foot will not stumble. If you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.”

Proverbs 3:21-23. (ESV)

No matter where your teen is heading after school (higher education, the military, the workforce, missions, etc.) there are things he’ll need to know beyond reading, writing, and ‘rithmatic. Proverbs calls them “wisdom,” “discretion,” and “understanding.” Today we often called them “Life Skills.” I’m convinced that life skills are the most important and most under-taught subject in America. I was greatly blessed with wise parents who took every opportunity to share their wisdom and make sure I was prepared for adulthood. In this article I’d like to share with you seven principals no teen should leave home without and simple ways to impart them.

Principal #1: Be a Good Steward of Money
Teens like money. Most teens even have some! But very few know how to use it wisely. The vast majority of what teens hear about money is “SPEND IT”—a message that usually results in short-lived “toys,” fast food, and empty wallets. Teens need to learn how to:

Set and live within a budget
Tithe
Save money
Read a financial statement
Balance a checkbook
Pay bills and taxes
Shop for good deals
Get or stay out of debt
Understand insurance policies

If your teenager doesn’t have a checking and savings account, open one soon. Conveniently, most banking can be done online these days. Teens need to know how much money they have, where it’s coming from, and where it’s going. The sooner they start taking ownership of their finances the better. If they have an allowance or a job, let them start paying their own bills. Teens often suddenly develop much more frugal tastes and habits as they start counting the cost of their clothes, cell phone plans, gas, and entertainment.

Fortunately, there’s a wealth of information about biblical handling of finances out there today. I highly recommend resources from Larry Burkett (www.crown.org), Dave Ramsey (www.daveramsey.com), Focus on the Family (www.family.org), and Math-U-See’s Stewardship Math program (www.mathusee.com). The Rich Dad, Poor Dad series, while not Christian, is also worthwhile.

Principal #2: Thrive on Your Own
Eventually, your kids will be living on their own. There’s no need for them to live on Raman Noodles and come home bearing bags of dirty clothes. Part of being an adult means taking care of your own mess! Your teens should know how to:

Do laundry
Cook balanced meals
Perform simple home/yard maintenance tasks
Clean and organize living space
Drive a car, check its oil and tire pressure, change a tire

All these things are pretty basic, but it’s amazing how many college freshmean seem utterly incapable of any of them. My brother and I began helping with laundry as soon as we were tall enough to reach the dial.

Principal #3: Make Plans
Teens are notorious for wasting time and then complaining that they don’t have enough of it. A little planning and thinking ahead go a long way toward reducing stress and keeping life under control. As you teach them how to plan, remind them that their plans affect other people too! Teens should practice:

Making a calendar and keeping a schedule
Prioritizing time, especially time in the Word
Setting measurable and achievable goals
Organizing an event
Planning a trip

Encourage your teen to pick out and use a day planner. Also, let them be involved in making the family’s plans like vacations, church events, or field trips. Check out 500 Ways to Organize Your Child by Cheryl R. Carter for a plethora of ideas. (Her other books are great too.)

Principal #4: Act Like a Pro
Learning to speak and act professionally, relay important information, and do research are crucial skills in the business world. Teens should develop the following skills:

Writing business and formal letters
Professional phone manners
Finding contact information for an individual or company
Filling out applications
Using a library
Developing Power Point presentations
Doing interviews (both asking and answering questions)

How they present themselves to people who might hire them, grant them scholarships, lease them an apartment, or help them find information goes a long way toward accomplishing their goals.

Principal #5: Be a Peacemaker
People are confusing sometimes, and it takes a lot of wisdom to know how to handle friends, authorities, and enemies. Kindness, putting oneself in someone else’s shoes, and clear communication can diffuse hard situations before they happen. Through prayer, practice, and talking with you, teens should learn how to:

Discern someone’s tone and motive
Handle a confrontation biblically
Respond to authorities respectfully (especially when you disagree!)
Listen to what others are saying
Rebuff negative peer pressure
Discourage a flirt
Encourage a friend

There’s too much to be said about this topic for an exhaustive list of important skills here, but you get the idea. I do recommend Focus on the Family (www.family.org) and Peacemaker Ministries (www.peacemaker.net) for excellent resources and training.

Principal #6: Take Every Thought Captive
Teens today hear more conflicting messages today then ever. The need for critical thinking and discernment is huge. Through conversation and analysis, teens need to:

Determine the messages in movies or songs
Read reviews and understand the reviewer’s worldview
Discern a principale (something in scripture) from a method of applying it
Articulate an opinion and support it with logical evidence

Before watching a movie, look it up on www.PluggedIn.com. Take time to discuss the film afterward. You’d be surprised at the worldviews you can unearth with a few simples questions like “what does this say about God, man, or the world?”

Principal #7: Take Care of Your Body
Some teens take to good health naturally, while others need to develop this discipline. It’s easy to eat whatever and whenever you want, stay sedentary all day, and stay up until all hours—but those aren’t good ideas. Practice:

Eating well
Exercising regularly
Getting a good night’s rest

Teens can either develop a healthy lifestyle now or work hard to correct their mistakes later. You may want to set goals together and make a friendly competition out of it!

These are skills your teens will be developing for the rest of their lives. The more they learn now, the better. Of course, no one is ever “fully prepared” for adulthood. All of us are still learning! Remember, your teens will learn best if they see you modeling these behaviors in front of them. Take time to explain, demonstrate, and build these skills a day at a time. Start anywhere and enjoy the journey!

Tyler Hogan is the Vice-President of Development for Bright Ideas Press. He lives in Dover, Delaware with his very patient wife, Helen, and their adorable baby, Kaylee. He and his wife are both Homeschool Graduates. He has spoken, performed, and taught classes around the world on homeschooling, the arts, and worldview issues. In his “spare time” he teaches classes for homeschoolers, performs street mime, reads good books, drinks tea, and over-analyses movies. He has a BA in Theatre from Belhaven University, and is currently working on his MA from Covenant Theological Seminary.

May 31, 2010 By Carol Leave a Comment

There are many benefits of being a part of a homeschool co-op. I have been a member of a homeschool co-op for five years, and my most valued benefits have been the friends that I have made and their support of my homeschooling efforts. However, a homeschool co-op can be very beneficial for a high school student also.

1. Socialization
The most apparent benefit of a homeschool co-op is socialization. For years the homeschool movement has been criticized for the lack of opportunity to socialize. There are homeschoolers who are concerned about social interaction, and they seek out opportunities for their teenagers to be a part of group activities. Thus we see the growth of homeschool sports leagues, classes, clubs, and, of course, our focus, homeschool co-ops. These group activities balance the time spent learning alone or with the family. Most co-ops meet once or twice a week, therefore giving students a “taste” of group learning without being overwhelming.

2. Friends
My neighbor and fellow homeschooler, Kirsten, was concerned about her oldest daughter making friends. I was so pleased to tell Kirsten about our homeschool co-op and the wonderful group of friendly high school students we had there. They visited the next week and joined immediately. I was thrilled when two weeks later, I saw Kirsten’s daughter being hugged good-bye by other teenage girls. I looked over at my friend and said, “It’s working!” and she wholeheartedly agreed.

3. Learning from Another Adult
The other parents who volunteer as teachers and helpers in our co-op serve as role models, mentors, and teachers. I think it is very healthy for children to have adults they respect outside their own family. Sunday school teachers and Bible study leaders serve this role, and so can co-op teachers. I realize that I am not my teenager’s only teacher. Some day soon, my children will learn from college professors, and they will be exposed to trainers in the workplace. I want them to appreciate the different personalities that teachers possess. I also want my children to understand that they can learn from different types of people.

4. Group Interaction
When my daughter approached high school, she wanted to discuss literature with someone other than me. She was right; it is awfully difficult to have group discussions without a decent-sized gathering! Co-ops provide a wonderful opportunity for your student to engage in group discussions and other classes. Our co-op has held several classes that work best in a group setting, including literature discussion, public speaking, gym games, and team building. These types of learning opportunities cannot be done as well in a home setting, but they work beautifully in a homeschool co-op.

5. Special Skills
When I joined our co-op, I found a blessing in the Spanish teacher, Mrs. Tann, who majored in Spanish in college and is a volunteer teacher at our co-op. My daughter, Emily, had been learning Spanish from a computer program. Although she was doing well and making good grades on the quizzes, her Spanish greatly improved after starting Mrs. Tann’s class. I noticed that she started speaking a few phrases and naming objects in Spanish. Mrs. Tann has Spanish skills that neither my husband nor I possess.

6. Encouragement to Continue Homeschooling
One co-op director that I know believes that if a co-op helps even one mother to continue homeschooling, then all the work has been worthwhile. Specifically, she tries to support parents of high school students, many of whom drop out of homeschooling because the subject material grows more difficult at the high school level. Our co-op tries to help these families by offering high school classes in foreign language, upper math, and advanced lab science. Other co-ops in our area offer fun subjects such as photography, yearbook, drama, and art to keep kids interested.

7. Mothers share burdens
Of course, it is not just the students who benefit from a co-op; their mothers need encouragement also. Emulating another homeschool co-op, my co-op offers a room for mothers to “Chew and Chat,” where we can eat and talk. More importantly, we share each other’s burdens there. Although we sometimes offer suggestions and new ideas, we often are just a sounding board. Mothers feel free to share their homeschooling struggles in our Chew and Chat room, because this group understands them without condemnation.

8. Exchange information
While co-op mothers may share burdens, they also exchange information. One of the best things about a co-op is the wonderful exchange of ideas. I loaned my calculus books and videos to another family after my daughter had finished with them. The books were very expensive and I was blessed to be a blessing to a cash-strapped family.

9. Fun
In addition to the educational benefits of group learning, shared experience, and encouragement, co-ops can be a lot of fun! Your students should have creative teachers and see co-op learning as enjoyable! Even though my daughter, Sarah, dislikes snakes and bugs, she admits that her biology dissection teacher makes the class interesting. Sarah is learning that a trouble shared is a troubled halved. She also seems to have exciting stories to tell about class each day.

10. Special Events
Many co-ops offer fun activities such as field trips and special events. I have seen co-ops offer talent shows, plays, and recitals. One co-op is starting a 4-H club, while another has an American Heritage Girls troop and a Boy Scout troop. Going beyond these activities, some co-ops offer days at the beach, pool, park, or ski slopes! The list is endless, and all in the name of fun and learning.

The benefits of belonging to a homeschool co-op include, among others, group learning, experienced teachers, encouragement, and fun. I hope you gain all these advantages and more.

This article is an excerpt from Homeschool Co-ops: How to Start Them, Run Them and Not Burn Out by Carol Topp (Aventine Press, 2008).

Carol L. Topp, CPA (www.HomeschoolCPA.com) is a homeschooling mother of two daughters and is the author of Homeschool Co-ops: How to Start Them, Run Then and Not Burn Out. She enjoys using her accounting skills helping homeschool organizations as well as serving on her homeschool co-op board.

May 7, 2010 By Nikowa Lee 3 Comment

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
-Psalm 139:14 (NIV)

God made women special. We are the help meet. We strive to be the Proverbs 31 woman and all that entails.

We are chauffeurs, cooks, nose wipers, homework helpers, teachers, maids, schedulers and executioners of life.

We are women, mothers, sisters, wives, lovers, daughters, friends.

From the time we wake in the morning we’re on a mission. Everything we do is for everyone else.

We wake our household, make sure their bellies are full. Ensure the children are educated. Clean. Delegate household duties.We run errands, schedule appointments for more errands to be ran. We plan meals, vacations, we plan our lives.

All the while loving our family wholeheartedly.

As the day progresses, we continually do for others. Never taking into account the reasoning. We do it from our hearts. We do it because we love. We’re nurturers. We go to bed after everyone else, planning the next day – week – month. From sun up to sun down, we’re constantly doing for everyone else. This is what we were made for.

It’s tiring. It sometimes feels like no one notices everything we do. We feel forgotten, looked over, taken for granted.

Lately I have felt this way. Overwhelmed, I’ve cried wondering What’s wrong with me?

Then I remembered this poem that I’d once read a while ago.

Tears of a Woman

“Mom, why are you crying?” he asked his mom.

“Because I’m a woman” she told him.

“I don’t understand,” he said.

His mom just hugged him and said, “and you never will.” Later the little boy asked his father, “Why does mother seem to cry for no reason?”

“All women cry for no reason” was all his dad could say.

The little boy grew up and became a man, still wondering why women cry.

Finally he put in a call to GOD. When GOD got on the phone the man said, “GOD, why do women cry so easily?”

GOD said:

“When I made women she had to be special. I made her shoulders strong enough to carry the weight of the world; yet, gentle enough to give comfort.

I gave her an inner strength to endure childbirth and the rejection that many times comes from her children.

I gave her a hardness that allows her to keep going when everyone else gives up and take care of her family through sickness and fatigue without complaining.

I gave her the sensitivity to love her children under any and all circumstances, even when her child has hurt her very badly. This same sensitivity helps her to make a child’s boo-boo feel better and shares in her teenagers anxieties and fears.

I gave her strength to carry her husband through his faults and fashioned her from his rib to protect his heart.

I gave her wisdom to know that a good husband never hurts his wife, but sometimes tests her strengths and her resolve to stand beside him unfalteringly.

I gave her a tear to shed, it’s hers exclusively to use whenever it is needed. It’s her only weakness; it’s a tear for mankind.”

— Author Unknown —

Nikowa Lee is a quirky homeschooling mom to a special needs son, co-schooling mom to a son that’s a handful, foster-to-adopt parent, Cub Scout volunteer, frugal lifestyle livin’, 2x cervical cancer surviving wife. She enjoys social media, photography, gardening, reading, and teaching. You can visit Nikowa at The Adventures of a Quirky Mom.

March 31, 2010 By Guest 2 Comment

Learning to swim in college was a true leap into overcoming fear. My lack of knowledge and experience kept me trembling on the pool side, but it also fueled my determination to face my fears and accomplish this skill.

I found that while I was moving, learning the strokes and kicking, it was easy to stay afloat and have fun. But, oh, when it came time to learn to tread water, all the fun drained out of the pool. Every time I felt the water creep up my neck I panicked. It was all I could do to pass that test.

The other day I was talking with a friend on the phone about the struggles and difficulties of progressing in our daily Christian life, in our home-work, homeschooling, and being a leader. There are times it seems like life is only surviving, not thriving. The analogy of treading water came up as a description of feeling inadequate and unproductive. As I considered this, I remembered all the reasons my coach had taught me the skill of treading water and realized that treading water is not a bad thing for swimming or for daily life, but a good and important survival skill that can save your life.

When you feel like you are treading water, it is important to remember that you cannot panic. So many times when people feel like they’re about to go under, they panic and quit. “I’m not seeing any progress. I feel overwhelmed and about to drown. I shouldn’t be in the water at all.” But panicking just makes things worse. It actually adds more weight to you and causes you to sink.

Instead of panicking, you should stay calm and “just keep kicking.” Learn to tread water properly. Look at it as a time of waiting, of remembering your reliance on the Lord, looking completely to Him for all good things. Many good things can then come from your times of treading water.

It conserves your energy for the long haul.—When you feel exhausted or waves of circumstances have stopped your progress, gently treading water for a while to keep your head above water gives you time to catch your breath, lower your heart rate and be ready to swim again. Isaiah 40:31, “But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”

It gives you time to find landmarks.—When you are swimming head down and catching breaths in a rush, you can get off course. Real life doesn’t have lane lines running on the bottom to show you the way. When you find yourself treading water, use the time to look around and check your direction and make any course corrections you need. Micah 7:7, “Therefore I will look unto the LORD; I will wait for the God of my salvation: my God will hear me.”

It keeps you from going under until help can arrive.—There are times when we need support and encouragement to keep going. If we don’t panic or quit, we will have time to see all the wonderful resources and encouragers that are available to us as we survive. Maybe we had seen those floats and preservers before, but hadn’t needed them. Now they become a huge help to keep us afloat until we’re able to take off again to continue our course. Lam. 3:26, “It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the LORD.”

It keeps the current from taking you off course while you rest.—Floating may be easier than treading water, but floating can surprise you. When you look up, you can be in a totally different place than where you wanted to be, even ready to collide with trouble. It is better to not cluelessly ignore your surroundings but to stay moving, restfully alert. Lam. 3:25, “The LORD is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him.”

This feeling of treading water usually comes with waves of condemnation. “You’re not doing enough. You’re failing. You’re going to bring others down with you. How could you even think you could accomplish this? If you’re not moving forward, you’re going backwards.” These are all false emotions that come and go like waves or thunderclouds.

Instead it is better to remember that the Lord has provided instruction for these times. Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 27:14, “Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.”

No matter what you are going through—whether you feel you are barely limping along homeschooling your kids, scarcely maintaining your leadership of a homeschool group, trying to get out of a whirlpool of debt, or even when you can’t feel the Lord working in you–remember that these times of treading water can have tremendous value for you as you wait.

The Lord always has hope. He never leaves you or forsakes you. As you wait, He will be your Source to gain strength, your Light to find direction, your Preserver to the end, and your Leader to safe and pleasant goals.

So when you feel like you are going nowhere, keep treading water—it could save your life.

Psalm 39:7, “And now, Lord, what wait I for? my hope is in thee.”

Denise Hyde is happiest with her husband of 18 years, Lynn, and their two homeschooled daughters together finding adventures. She enjoys encouraging others and being a part of helping others succeed and thrive in the sea of real life. She is the co-author of One By One: The Homeschool Group Leader’s Guide to Motivating Your Members and co-founder of www.HomeschoolGroupLeader.com and www.hgleaderblog.blogspot.com.

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