Family Life | Heart of the Matter

July 30, 2010 By Sheri 1 Comment

Wee Willie Winkie runs through the town,
Up stairs and down stairs in his night-gown,
Tapping at the window, crying at the lock,
Are the children in their bed, for it’s past ten o’clock?

When my first son was born someone bought us a cassette (yes a cassette tape) with bedtime songs for the nursery. One of the songs was Wee Willie Winkie. I never put Dylan down to bed in his crib unless he was already asleep, but I DID play that cassette every single day. I loved the peacefulness of the songs. For whatever reason Wee Willie Winkie really stuck with me.

As Mike and I had children we started a routine: We would put the kids to bed and then head back out to the living room to curl up on the couch and have some “down time”. It was the only time of the day that we could sit and relax and not worry about things like dirty diapers, making peanut butter sandwiches or who wasn’t touching whom. If you had asked “Are the children in their bed, for it’s past ten o’clock?” we would have answered with a resounding “YES!!”

Back then we used to stay up late for alone time.

Now…we go to bed early, usually not long after we tuck the little boys into their own beds.

Our teens have informed us that we are showing our age. We just laugh and wholeheartedly agree. Truth be told we both look forward to bedtime every.single.day. Laying my head on my husband’s chest and feeling his arm draped around me is the most relaxing part of my day.

At night as I doze off, I peek one eye open and look at the hall light streaming under our door. I know the teens will be up for a few more hours reveling in their own down time, away from the burdens of being the oldest siblings, away from their parents, just hanging out and chatting. And I remember when I was a teen, I remember when I would stay up late and talk to my older brother. I remember that kinship. And I smile.

And then I fall asleep in the peace and knowledge that all is right in the world.

Because the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Sheri Sears (with the help of her fabulous husband Mike) began homeschooling her four children in 2001. She spends her time creating whatever she can out of nothing to make her house more homey, writing lesson plans, listening to her son’s garage band and writing how God is carrying her out of the depths of depression. You can catch up with Sheri at her blog The Shades of Pink. Be sure not to miss the Love Story she and her husband have written.

April 9, 2010 By Montserrat 1 Comment

This is the second in a series of posts about cooking with children. Read the first post here.

Meal Planning

We all want our families to eat healthy. This can be hard when we have picky eaters that only like noodles, bread, and shredded wheat cereal. Not very well rounded, right? Teaching my children to cook also involves teaching them about proper nutrition and consequently meal planning. Meal planning has so many benefits: healthier lifestyle (less eating out), cost savings of groceries, knowing ahead of time what to cook thus decreasing stress, and when kids are involved – less picky eating!

If you aren’t already in the habit to plan meals ahead of time please change your habit! It really is a lifesaver. Once you get in the habit you’ll be more influential in teaching your children this skill.

An easy start to planning meals is to make a list of every type of main food dish you normally eat. I have a long list of chicken dishes, beef dishes, seafood recipes, soups, breakfast foods, etc. that I keep on the side of the fridge. When we try a new recipe that we like we add that to the list. When it’s time to sit down and plan out the meals for the week it’s handy to look at the list for ideas.

Another good way to plan meals is by looking at the grocery sales ads for your area. Planning around items that are on sale will help reduce the overall cost of groceries.

How Our Family Plans Meals

Every family situation is different. You may only need to plan for dinner for the whole family for the week. Because we homeschool and live on a farm we are able to eat every meal together as a family. I LOVE this! Our main meal is lunch because during the hectic days of summer the men all quit at a certain time in the heat of the day to go home for lunch, whereas dinner time varies depending on whether hay still needs to be hauled, or baled, or machines fixed before the next day’s work. Our farm is a good 40 minute drive from the nearest grocery store so having a menu plan is essential for us. We plan every meal for every day of the week because we can and need to.

The chores at our house are rotated on a weekly schedule which means each child has one week where they are in charge of the kitchen including meal planning, cooking, and cleaning. When it’s time to create our menu plan for the next week here’s what I expect depending on the age.

2-6 year olds will usually suggest just the main dish. I’ll add the sides on my own. As we cook together during their week I’ll usually say why we’re having certain side dishes so they learn that having a variety of vegetables, fruits, and legumes helps to keep our bodies healthy.

7-10 year olds will suggest every part of the meal with tweaking from me to teach them the importance of rounding out the meal from each food group. “Corn, potatoes, and bread? That’s a lot of starchy foods. Why don’t you think of a different vegetable?” The food pyramid is introduced. We also talk about having a variety of colors on the plate so a meal looks more pleasing.

11 and older I expect them to do it all on their own and they do! Occasionally I have to remind them to serve more vegetables or not serve beef dishes three days in a row but for the most part they are able to plan excellent yet simple meals.

The following sites have free menu planning printables you can use:

Organized Home Weekly Menu Plan
DonnaYoung.org
Money Saving Mom

It has been so fun to see the different cooking styles of my children emerge. My oldest daughter (age 14) loves to do “gourmet.” She really gets into cooking and consequently experimenting, and boy, if she doesn’t have a natural talent for it. Thursday we had homemade ravioli with two different sauces, a wonderfully rich and fattening homemade alfredo sauce and a sweet tomato basil sauce. I swear I always gain weight on her week of cooking. My second daughter (age 13) is more like me. We like to eat healthier, have more whole grains, lots of veggies and keep things simple but delicious. My third daughter’s (age 11) style is starting to peek through a little too. We know it’s her week to cook because we ALWAYS have tuna noodle casserole. Do you know any other person in the world, much less a ten year old, whose favorite food is tuna noodle casserole?

One benefit of letting my children meal plan, that I didn’t foresee when I started, was the whining and complaining of what was served dramatically went down.

Once my children realized how much effort is involved in planning meals and then cooking them they were less inclined to make negative comments, especially when they knew those comments could be made to them on their days of cooking. They came to appreciate the chef, sincerely thanking them for a nicely cooked meal.

Take a little time this week to plan your meals. Involve your children! Whether you give them a whole week to help or rotate days instead it doesn’t matter. Just give them the experience and chance to learn.

Have you had experience involving your children with the meal planning? Do you have any tips to share with us about cooking with your children? If you have any questions please ask away!

Next article in the series will cover grocery lists and shopping, yes shopping, with your children.

March 5, 2010 By Aubrey Lively Leave a Comment

Have you ever noticed how difficult it is to see the big picture when you’re living in the middle of it?

One problem crops up, and it gets your full attention, like a little spark in the forest. Then another and another, and pretty soon, all you see is smoke.

The last month and a half has been like that for me: a fog of sickness and small disasters here in my home. We spent the last half of January with sick kids, but not the gravely ill kind, not even the pathetic-pull-at-your-heartstrings kind. They were just sick enough to be picky, grumpy, and difficult. Then Landon and I got picky, grumpy, and difficult. We could barely drag ourselves out of bed for a week.

I remember measuring time by the smoke detector, which began going off randomly for an entire week. Wearing bathrobes and old pajamas, we hit at it with a broom handle, changed the batteries twice, and yelled at it eloquently. Nothing worked, and along with the sneezing, coughing, and shivering, we soon found ourselves twitching. Did I mention tempers were short?

One morning while we were sick and the smoke alarm was making its unimpressive complaints, two-year-old Abby announced that she had to go potty and without warning, she sat down on a load of clean clothes. It was 6AM, and when our oldest came running to tell us, Landon told him to go ahead and put the clothes in the washer and start it, hoping that I would never find out.

A half hour later when I woke Landon up with, “What’s that noise?” it was too late. There had been a load of laundry in the washing machine already, but John was too short to see it.

I spent the next three days hand-washing and line-drying the two over-full loads of clothes that the machine could have done in a couple of hours. Landon spent his evenings looking at diagrams of washing machines, trying to figure out how to repair ours. We had just replaced it in January, and since Landon had lost his job in December, it was hardly the time to be changing out washing machines faster than we clean out our fridge.

When my in-laws invited the kids to go to Houston with them the following weekend, we had to wash clothes at their house in order for the kids to have, um, clean underwear.

Clean was short-lived, though. With the kids’ return home (and vacation laundry), came news that the Abby had spent the last night of the trip throwing up. By Wednesday, baby was throwing up, too. By Thursday, Abby had learned to fake-throw up—eating a bite of food and then spitting it in the toilet, so she could get some more of that “juice-medicine.”

Friday, Landon’s car broke down. It had recently been in a small accident, so the hood wouldn’t open, and it overheated, so it had to be towed. Saturday, our oldest spent the day in bed, and by Saturday night, Landon and I were both throwing up. Our six-year-old joined our ranks on Sunday.

If I tell you the van broke down, too, you’d just laugh. There comes a point when it’s funny, and all you can do is throw up your hands at this thing that is life, and laugh. I’ve laughed quite a bit myself. And I’ve cried and complained.

To say I’ve felt like a failure lately is an understatement. I’m standing here, surrounded by cranky babies and whining kids and piles of laundry and dishes and germs like I’m living in the middle of an apocalypse. I’m the person standing in the middle of the forest, and who can see nothing but the smoke.

Understandable, perhaps, if there had been an actual forest fire, an actual disaster. Understandable, even to the helicopter in the sky, who could see the potential damage, in whose eyes that fire fighter is a hero.

On the ground, though, you’re left with ashes and stinky clothes and a sore throat. You see the destruction instead of the work of a hero. And all you’ve done is fend off a few pesky sparks.

Without a clear picture of being in the trenches, it’s easy to get a skewed picture of things, and that’s exactly what I did. Sometime last week, Landon came home to a puddle of a wife, who was claiming that it was all impossible. I explained to him how the kids’ attitudes were too bad, the babies too fussy, the house too messy, and I too disorganized to accomplish what was before me. See the smoke? I can’t be the Keeper of the Forest—I nearly let it all burn down!

A simple email from a friend made all the difference, though. “How are you?” she asked, because we haven’t been in church in a month. Taking the time to write out the events of the last six weeks helped me to see the forest.

My normally sweet-natured kids have had bad attitudes? No wonder, they’ve been sick. My high-maintenance toddlers have been fussy? Well, sure. My house is a wreck? Not any more than usual, and that’s a miracle, really. Homeschooling has barely happened? What a victory that it’s happened at all!

Thanks to a friend checking in, I’m motivated to start fresh. As soon as I kick this cold that’s just setting in.

Aubrey Lively is a homeschooling mother of four, ages 8, 6, 2, & 1. She has a BA in Literature and an MEd in Teaching and is currently surviving seminary with her husband of ten years. Visit Aubrey online at http://aubreylively.blogspot.com.

February 28, 2010 By Yvonne 11 Comments

When I hear the term “Literature Analysis,” I develop cold sweats. My mind is yanked back into the 11th grade and flashes back on eight page literary analysis essays, along with difficult and cryptic names for what should have been very simple. My compositions were forced and unnatural and my enthusiasm for reading all but dried up. Blech…no wonder I didn’t pick up a quality piece of literature for years afterward!

It wasn’t until I began homeschooling my children about eleven years ago, that I began to learn to enjoy literature again. Following Charlotte Mason’s wisdom to use living literature in our studies helped us to delight in the literature for the sake of the story. Reading each selection aloud, the children and I learned how to discover something fun from whatever we read. After that, we dove into a couple of years of Sonlight where we learned all about both World and American History and had fascinating rabbit trails of exploration.

Photo Credit: Heidi, Mt Hope Academy

With all of that reading, we never formally analyzed anything, yet our love and appreciation of literature grew by leaps and bounds.

During those years, we discovered that each book has a buried treasure, a hidden message to uncover. Most books are written by an individual and contain a distinct perspective. In each piece of literature the writer has a message to share or a lesson to teach. In a well written book it becomes the reader’s pleasure to experience that lesson through the pages of a story, discerning the message and evaluating it for possible application. Sadly, many teachers insist on turning this experience into a dreadful exercise!

In our home, we keep literature studies simple…and apparently it’s a successful endeavor. My children love literature and even more than that, we enjoy discussing it together.

Now before I tell you what we have done in our homeschooling, let me encourage you with a precious nugget of wisdom that I picked up from Ruth Beechick. If a child is curled up with a book, quietly reading to their heart’s content, they are comprehending. If they look up at you to share something that is exciting, they are comprehending. If they giggle, or if a tear rolls down their cheek, they are comprehending. It is unnecessary to have them answer twenty questions on a book’s content or to produce a book report for every book they read. We homeschool moms tend to worry too much! Early on, I chose to keep book reports and pre-fabricated comprehension questions at a bare minimum.

So how do I cover reading and literature in my home? Push the Easy Button here!

We have a daily quiet hour. This is a time in which the children go off to read a book of their choice. This is not assigned reading…but a quiet period, where they can enjoy whatever they have chosen to read for entertainment, edification…or whatever. Right now, my children are reading a variety of literature that run the gamut from “Encyclopedia Brown,” by Donald Sobol to “The Giver,” by Lois Lowry and for my oldest, “The Way of the Wild Heart,” by John Eldredge. The importance of having the quiet hour is simply to foster a love of reading and self directed learning.

We read aloud every day. There is something special that happens when a parent puts on a character’s voice. Children strain to hear every word, they sit forward in their seats and are often eager to discuss the material. There are so many great books that edify children with life lessons about a myriad of topics. From picture books to novels, there are wonderful examples of literature at every level of learning.

Unfortunately, some families give up on reading aloud because they have wiggly children. Please let me encourage you to work through the wiggles. The trick is in training younger children to listen and be still.

I’ve done three things that have helped my children grow to love reading aloud.

1. When training young children for read alouds choose books that support their interests. If your child is all about surviving in the wilderness, then choose a book like “My Side of the Mountain,” by Jean Craighead George or an adapted version of Swiss Family Robinson. Don’t bore them with a book that will only make their minds wander. Remember, this is training…try to make it pleasant.

2. Allow young children to build with Legos or Lincoln Logs, draw pictures, or color while you read aloud to them.

3. Alternatively, read aloud to them at bedtime. They’ll enjoy the snuggles and have something to dream about when the light goes out. As a plus, when they’re in bed, they can’t wiggle too far.

If the wiggles persist, consider reading another season of picture books to allow a child a bit more time to develop listening skills. Don’t give up, but be willing to find what works.

Photo Credit: Heidi, Mt Hope Academy

We learn vocabulary as we come across it. If we run into a word that we don’t understand, we try to figure out the definition by it’s context. If not, we look it up and say the sentence again, using the definition instead of the word being defined. I then read the sentence once more, this time using the word in question. I might write it down on an index card, but it’s not often necessary. I’ve discovered that the word is usually assimilated and will pop up in my children’s spoken and written vocabulary about six months later. (I don’t know why this is true, but this has been our experience.)

We discuss literature on the fly. As we read a book we discuss it informally. We talk about whatever pops into our minds as we read. From imagery to characters, to the problems they face, or the obstacles they overcome, we talk about it all. I remember one conversation back when my oldest child was in the fifth grade. We came to a scene in the Lord of the Rings series where Mr. Frodo tells Smeagol that he should not call himself names. We talked about the wisdom of relying on God’s truth about ourselves, that we are sinners…and yet precious to God. It was an opportunity to remember Jesus and how His estimation of us is that we are worth His life. Amazing. We made a memory and each of us remembers that conversation as a gift.

I use our read aloud time as a means to encourage my children to think. If a child can think, they can discuss…and eventually they will be able to defend their ideas and write about them in detail. (Usually in high school.) I use Bloom’s Taxonomy as a very rough guide, a basis in which I lead my children in our discussions of literature. Bloom’s assists me in evaluating where my children are regarding their thinking on any particular topic, literature or otherwise. It gives me a quick visual on where they each may be and assists me in stretching them to the next step in their thinking abilities.

I strive to give my children lots of experiences, talking about everything, asking many questions about opinions and thoughts. I really like to dig in, always looking for the heart. “How does that make you feel?” ”What would you do differently?” ”How does this information alter your opinion?” I guide my children through these discussions, keeping my feelers out for where they’re at on the Bloom’s chart with the goal of stretching them just a bit further.

By the time my oldest two children reached high school, they had developed adequate thinking skills to enable them to write. They needed a bit of encouragement in getting organized, but I discovered that if the thoughts were in their noggins, then the words eventually came spilling out onto paper.

Use movie versions of classics! I don’t want to make this a blanket statement, because sometimes the movie versions of literature are awful. But there are quality motion pictures which might spark an interest in reading a great work of literature. “Emma,” comes to mind, along with “Hamlet,” or the BBC versions of Jane Austin classics. I’m also reminded of “Heidi,” my favorite being the Shirley Temple classic. Use your discernment, of course, but I’ve found this an equally valid way to develop my children’s thinking skills as well as create interest in a title that otherwise might be overlooked.

Furthermore, if you have a teen who just cannot make himself pick up a Jane Austin novel, then consider having him watch the movie, and discuss it along with him.

Cliff Notes or Spark Notes – Lastly, and used sparingly, I allow my children to use Cliff or Spark Notes. I do this only in the case of assigned reading as a substitute for a book that I feel won’t work for us. This fall, in our chosen curriculum, one of the books assigned was Uncle Tom’s Cabin. I pre-read it and I decided that one of my students would find it too heavy to dwell on. So, at the encouragement of my personal mentor, I will have them read the Cliff Notes and we will discuss the social points important to understanding the historical significance of the book. This will help them appreciate this work of literature without having to experience something that is too heavy for them to bear at this time in their life.

So, as you see, we keep literature analysis very simple. We may discuss literature elements like foreshadowing or denouement from time to time, but mainly our discussions center around the heart in the form of building thinking skills, learning life lessons, and enjoying the love of finely crafted words…literature.

Yvonne Ferlita, married for nearly nineteen years, is a homeschooling mom to four children from kindergarten to high school. Her family has been blessed with eleven years of grace filled homeschooling. She does her best to follow Christ in educating her children, and she believes that when it all boils down, that means, “No Nonsense!” Visit her blog, The No Nonsense Homeschool.

December 28, 2009 By Marybeth 1 Comment

Welcome to Write At Home, a monthly feature here at HOTM. Marybeth Whalen will be introducing you to homeschool moms who write: curriculum authors, novelists, nonfiction writers, and popular bloggers and more. Many of us are deeply inspired by these moms who seem to “do it all.” This feature will provide you with a glimpse into their everyday lives.

Today we have Sheila Wray Gregoire joining us. Sheila is a syndicated parenting columnist and a popular speaker. The author of four books, including How Big Is Your Umbrella?, with more on the way, she loves encouraging women to forget about the dust bunnies under their beds and keep their focus on Jesus! She also has a passion for family, and together with her husband Keith speaks at Family Life marriage conferences. You can usually find her in Belleville, Ontario, where she homeschools her two daughters and knits. Preferably simultaneously.

Hi Sheila– we are so excited to hear from you today! We know you can teach us a lot about balancing not only writing and homeschooling but marriage too! Can you tell us about how your books can help us do that?

Sure! If you’re like me, you have lists going through your head all the time. I have laundry waiting to be folded. I need to do math. When did I vacuum last? And have I been even mildly affectionate to my husband lately? We live under a huge cloud of guilt and shoulds, especially homeschoolers, because so much rests on our shoulders.

What I try to do in my book To Love, Honor and Vacuum is give women a plan so that we can stop with all the guilt and just focus on what God’s priorities are. He cares about our kids’ hearts. He cares about our hearts. He cares about our marriages. And the rest may be important, but it’s further down the list. So in the book I help us organize and prioritize so we can get the important stuff right. After all, I find that homeschooling works better when kids respect you. When they are well disciplined, they listen. When they aren’t, they run all over the place. So even getting homeschooling done relies first and foremost on good parenting!

Of course, just because we prioritize relationships doesn’t mean that we don’t clean. No one wants to fear catching a communicable disease in one’s kitchen. But what the book does do is give us a new way of thinking about our homes so that we can get the cleaning done faster and focus on what’s really important!

Then, in Honey, I Don’t Have a Headache Tonight, I talk specifically to women who want to feel more in the mood. Is it even possible to turn up your libido? I wrote the book as a research project, and I like to say that my husband really enjoyed it!

How long have you been homeschooling? What led you to this lifestyle choice?

We’re in our ninth year of homeschooling now. My oldest daughter went to junior kindergarten and senior kindergarten, and then we pulled her out for grade one. She’s in high school now. For us it was a twofold decision: she was already reading in kindergarten, and we wanted her to be challenged academically, and we wanted some control over our family schedule. I just found that with piano and gymnastics and kids’ club night we were running around constantly. With homeschooling you can do a lot of those activities during the day, so you still have a family life at night!

Though our initial reasons were mostly academic, though, over the years we’ve realized how much of a spiritual impact it has had having our girls home. They both are really strong in their faith, and both chose to be baptized in 2008. They’re really bright, and have a heart for missions. They talk openly about their faith (far more so than I did at their age!). And they are sweet girls. I don’t think that would have happened had they been in school. So we couldn’t be happier.

Do you find that writing meshes seamlessly with homeschooling or… not?

Let’s get one thing straight. Writing doesn’t mesh seamlessly with ANYTHING! Writing is tough. You’re not always in the mood to write when you can grab those brief chunks of time, and it’s often hard slogging. If you want to write, you have to feel a call to it, and you have to pray for God’s insight into your schedule. It will never, ever be easy, and it won’t always be rewarding, either. But if God has given you that passion, He will give you the discipline and the time, too.

I have found over the years different challenges with finding time to write. When the kids were younger, I tended to write at nap time. And when they stopped napping, I could usually find some time in the afternoon, w hen they were done their schoolwork for the day and were playing.

As they’ve gotten older and work longer hours at school, I often find I write in the mornings, when they’ve been given their assignments. The afternoons we keep for going over their work and talking about social issues, current events, newspapers, etc.

What does a typical day look like for you and your children?

In the morning they do the basics—math, grammar, Latin, piano practice. They do that mostly without me now (they’re in grade 8 & 10). When they were younger I would assign two or three subjects at a time and go over the lesson for that day, and then they would go work for an hour before coming back. Now I find I can give them a whole morning to do. In the afternoon we have fun talking about controversial issues (I love politics), and sometimes joining our homeschooling coop for hockey, or debating, or some other courses. Around 4 we all tidy up the house. They do their chores and I start making dinner, which I find really relaxing. That’s often when I get my phone calls made for the day, too!

During the day our house often looks really chaotic, but by 6 we’re nice and settled. So if you’re going to drop by, pick the right time!

Do you find that homeschooling feeds into your writing, making it richer?

I can’t believe how much I know because of homeschooling! I have two Master’s Degrees, one in Sociology and one in Public Administration, and I can confidently say that my grade 10 daughter knows more about politics and history now than I did when I graduated. I can’t believe how much I was never taught. So I feel like I’m much better informed. And the homeschooling community is really a rich community from a philosophical sense, too. We think deeply about things. We think our heritage is important, and we learn about it. We’re not caught up in current fads. Those who are trained in a homeschooling approach, then, make better cultural analysts and better psychologists!

What are your best time management tips for busy moms?

Here are two. Number one: get your kids to do as much as is humanly possible. And more is probably humanly possible than you think. I remember reading Laura Ingalls Wilder’s Little Town on the Prairie, and being amazed that Laura and Carrie looked after the house for a week on their own while Ma and Pa were taking Mary to blind school. They cleaned the whole house and polished everything, because they knew how to do it. Our kids need to know how to do it. We’re doing them a favour when we get them involved in chores. One of the things I talk about a lot in To Love, Honor and Vacuum is how to instigate a good system of chores for your kids that is easy to do, easy to stick to, and easy to appreciate! Instead of always doing it yourself because, after all, you can do it better, I explain why it’s important to train the kids. After all, the best gift you can give your future daughter-in-law is a son who cleans toilets! So assign chores so it’s not all on your shoulders.

Another life-saver for me is doing things in a particular order. Tuesday, for instance, is catching up on laundry, changing the sheets, and ironing. Wednesday is vacuuming and mopping. What that means is that on Monday I don’t have to feel guilty if the laundry is overflowing, because I know Tuesday is coming. Likewise, on Tuesday, after I’ve done the ironing, I don’t have to feel like I have to get out a mop, because Wednesday is coming. If everything has its day, then it puts a limit on what I have to do today. I don’t have to feel like I need to constantly be working, because I know everything will get done in its time.

Finally, one thing we’ve tried to do in homeschooling is stick all errands on one day. On Wednesday my kids have piano, so that’s when I do the banking, the grocery shopping, and my errands, because I’m out anyway. Instead of having to run out everyday, I try to do it all at once. That makes for a much less hectic schedule! I mention this, and a whole lot of other homeschooling tips, in the appendix of To Love, Honor and Vacuum, because I know how frantic many homeschooling moms often feel!

You offer resources for beginning writers and speakers. Tell us about those.

I’m so excited about this new endeavour! I have a dream of equipping other speakers to tell their stories in a way that really changes lives. I believe that God has given each of us a unique message, and some of us He has called specifically to speak and write. But that doesn’t mean that we automatically know how to do it well! Training conferences, however, can cost a lot of money! So I have a number of 90 minute teleseminars and courses you can take by email (I don’t mark them; it’s all for your benefit) that can launch your speaking ministry in the right direction! And I’m teaching writers how to create products they can sell on the internet, like homeschooling curriculum, e-books, and more, so that they can generate income from home!

You can find all those teleseminars and e-courses here: http://sheilawraygregoire.com/speakingwritingresourcess199.php. There’s something for everyone!

And I also host a BlogTalkRadio show every Tuesday at noon EST called “Use Your Words”, specifically for speakers and writers! If you can take a lunch break from homeschooling around that time and you want to join me, I have lots of tips then! And it’s free. http://www.blogtalkradio.com/cwa-radio

If you want to be notified when a new teleseminar or course is coming up, sign up here: http://sheilawraygregoire.com/speakinginterestc413.php. I’m hoping to host an online speakers’ conference soon, so that you can take training from home!

Thanks Sheila for sharing from your wisdom. We are so glad you took the time to encourage us!

Marybeth Whalen is homeschooling mom to six children ranging in age from teen to toddler, as well as a speaker for Proverbs 31 Ministries. In her writings, she addresses things like burnout, dealing with interruptions, and handling homeschooling from a very practical perspective. Be sure to visit her blog, Cheaper by the Half Dozen.

December 16, 2009 By Ann 3 Comments

“I’ll be Home for Christmas”

Isn’t it an awesome song, with a heart-tugging theme?

With three of our seven totally-homeschooled children now practically “grown-up” and beginning to live on their own, it’s a momma-dream I can relate to . . . sprinkled with annual hopes and anticipation. Christmas-at-home brings to mind favorite traditions, thoughts of yummy delicacies, memories of siblings laughing together and playing games, and of course, snow and mistletoe.

However, as a surrendered mission-minded believers, I’ve come to understand that my lovely “Home-Sweet-Home” Christmas-dream isn’t necessarily a guaranteed “right” I should always expect or think I “deserve.”

A Mission-Minded Christmas . . . focuses on GOD’S HOME:

As homeschooling families (and as the premier experts on the “home” front . . . right?) we especially need to keep in mind that Christmas is about far-more than our home and our family. The true meaning of Christmas centers on the reality of God’s home in heaven (because that’s why Jesus came), and loving people into His family, so that others can go to heaven too.

Christmas, and everything about true Christianity, is about God’s Greatness (including God’s Great Commandment, to love God and love others: Matthew 22:36-40, and God’s Great Commission, to go into all the world to share His love with others: Matthew 28:19, Mark 16:15).

We all know the clichés, how, “Jesus is the Reason for the Season” and “Wise men still seek Him”; but have you and your family ever considered your willingness to surrender to God’s purpose for Christmas, in every nitty-gritty area?

Recently, an informal “counseling” question with a newlywed bride turned to a passionate discussion about international missions and family life. This God-loving friend and her new husband were having a common early-marriage struggle about where to spend their first Christmas. Since they were already living near his family and relatives, wasn’t it “right” that they celebrate Christmastime with her family?

I shared with her a story:

I’ll be Home for Christmas?

It was only a few days before Christmas as Bernie May, a pilot for Wycliffe Bible Translators successfully delivered emergency medical supplies to the isolated Amazon village. Now he eagerly anticipated being back with his wife and children in their South American home-away-from-home. Yet as the evening grew dark, he knew he would not be able to fly out until the morning.

With his pontoon plane waiting on the river, Bernie arranged for temporary protection for the night. But then . . . it began to rain. The rain continued, even up until Christmas Eve, the missionary felt increasingly depressed by his misfortune. His wife, Nancy, and their boys were six hours away; and by this time, they would have received his radio message: he would not be home for Christmas.

As a family, they had prepared their hearts to be separated from their loved ones and friends, but it was Christmas Eve . . . and they were now separated even from each other.

Back in Pennsylvania, everyone would be coming home from church—to the sounds of caroling, the smell of roasting turkey, and the sight of falling snow. But where was God’s missionary? Here he was . . . stuck in a remote jungle . . . in a makeshift shelter . . . in the pouring rain . . . alone.

In Ruth Tucker’s book “From Jerusalem to Irian Jaya”, Bernie May tells of his experience:

“Oh God,” I moaned, “I’m in the wrong place.” . . . But that night, under my mosquito net, I had a visitation from God— something like those shepherds must have had on the hills of Bethlehem.

There were no angels, and no bright lights. But as I lay there in my hammock, desperately homesick, I felt I heard God say, “My son, this is what Christmas is all about. Jesus left heaven and on Christmas morning He woke up in the ‘wrong place’—a stable in Bethlehem. Christmas means leaving home, not going home. My only begotten Son did not come home for Christmas— He left home to be with you.”

(Excerpted from The Mission-Minded Family – Releasing Your Family to God’s Destiny, by Ann Dunagan – Published by Biblica/Authentic)

A Mission-Minded Christmas . . . focuses on SURRENDER:

Our Savior Jesus Christ surrendered everything when He came to this earth; and He did it to not only save us, but to provide His salvation for the whole world!

So, what if this Christmas, God would perhaps call upon your homeschooling family to give something BIGGER than ever?
What if He would ask you, as a mom or a dad, to give something even greater than an extra missions-offering or a few dollars in that red Salvation Army bucket?

Brace yourself . . . as you consider . . .

What if God wanted your family to pray about taking a short-term mission trip in 2010?
Or, what if God would want you to prepare yourself and your family . . . to perhaps pack up everything, and to move overseas to begin a season of fulltime foreign missionary work?

YIKES!!! – Have you ever, recently, given the Lord the opportunity to even whisper the suggestion?

Or, what if God would ask you, as a loving parent, to release one of your own precious children or teenagers or young adults into a non-conventional ministry, or perhaps into even dangerous, overseas Christian service?
What if someday one of your own big kids, out of direct obedience to God’s call, was called to live across the world as a missionary . . . and he or she wouldn’t always be able to be with you and your family for Christmas?

As parents, would you be supportive and encouraging toward God’s call on your child’s life . . . or would you be God’s greatest hindrance?

YIKES!!! YIKES!!! – I know it can be scary; but I also know that whenever God calls an individual to follow Him, He also provides His GRACE and JOY (and if God would someday call one of your kids to something a bit “out-of-your-comfort-zone” or downright SCARY, He also has a GRACE and JOY for you, as parents, to be able to handle it).

Mission-minded Christmas carols:

“Go, Tell it on the Mountain!”

“Silent Night”

“Joy to the World”

“Hark the Herald Angels Sing”

A Mission-Minded Christmas . . . focuses on GIVING IT ALL:

This Christmas, let’s do something different.
Let’s “get” what Christmas is really all about . . . and then “give it” all to God.

“I Gave Myself”

It was Christmas, and the Liberian Christians had been asked this year instead of receiving gifts, to help carry the gospel to others.

As in many mission fields, they brought, not money, but produce. Presently, the great plates were piled high with offerings of rice, cocoa, bananas, palm nuts, pineapple, and cassava.

There was a moment’s pause . . .

Slowly, a twelve-year-old boy walked forward and solemnly placed his feet in one of the plates. Afterward, when the missionary questioned him, the boy said, “We are very poor. I did not have anything else to give . . . so I gave myself.”

A Mission-Minded Christmas . . . focuses on GOD’S PRESENCE:

Christmas is not just about HOME, or PRESENTS; it’s about living in the PRESENCE of the Lord, and sharing His PRESENCE with others.

Here are a few baby-steps to incorporate a mission-mindset into your family’s yearly Christmas celebrations.

Incorporate a GLOBE into your Christmas celebrations. Perhaps use this to bring a mission theme into a corner of a room. Add some garland and lights, or place a mini-nativity beside this globe (or map) as you encourage your children that Jesus came to earth to be the Savior for ALL people. If your decorations are looking a bit old and shabby, and you’re wondering about using them for yet another year, remember that 1.6 million people around the world have yet to hear the Christmas story… for the first time!

Plan a specific family giving project for Christmas. Perhaps put a coin jar next to your Christmas cookie jar and begin saving coins for a specific mission need to help others.

Learn how Christmas is celebrated in different parts of the world, such as St. Lucia Day in Sweden and other Scandinavian countries (the legend of St. Lucia focuses on a Sicilian girl who gave away her dowry to feed the poor) or Las Pasadas from Mexico and Latin American countries. You can also learn about Hannakah (as you pray for the nation of Israel, and for Jewish families to come to know Jesus as their Messiah). Perhaps incorporate one or two new international traditions into your family celebration.

Remember that Christmas is one of the easiest times of the year to be a strong witness for Jesus. Whenever anyone says, “Happy Holidays,” encourage your children to be bold and friendly as you respond with a cheerful “Merry Christmas!” or “Jesus Loves You!” (and don’t be afraid to invite people to your church or to a special Christ-centered event). Pray specifically for your unsaved neighbors, and perhaps deliver a plate of Christmas cookies along with hand-written cards or loving notes about God’s salvation. Visit elderly people in a nursing home and sing God-glorifying Christmas carols and talk to these precious people about the Lord. Specifically pray for relatives who need Jesus (and maybe plan a little Christmas Eve “skit” performed by your sweet non-threatening kids, to clearly share the real salvation reason for Christ’s coming to earth).

Communicate a few times during December to your own missionary friends and their children. Today, most overseas missionaries and international ministers utilize online tools such as facebook, twitter, blogs, or websites, so it’s easier than ever to keep in touch. Don’t be afraid to share about your fun Christmas activities, but be sensitive and appreciative for the sacrifices they are making for Jesus to serve Him so far from home.

This Christmas, I invite you to seek God’s purposes for your family.

As homeschooling families, if we really want God’s direction in every areas of our lives, we need to begin by surrendering ALL of our “rights” to God.

All to Jesus, I surrender.
All to Him I freely give.
I will ever love and trust Him.
In His presence daily live.
I surrender all. I surrender all.
All to Thee, My Blessed Savior.
I surrender all.

God gave His Only Son for us; this Christmas, let’s give HIM the reigns, and make Him LORD over every area: over where we live, where we’re willing to go, how we spend money, how we use time, what we say, and over our children’s lives . . . and their futures. Let’s make Him LORD of our Christmas!

Have yourself a MISSION-MINDED CHRISTMAS!!!

Click here for a FREE Sample of THE MISSION-MINDED FAMILY:
http://harvestministry.org/mission-minded-family

Ann Dunagan is a longtime homeschool mother of 7 (with 3 graduates). Since 1987, she and her husband Jon have ministered worldwide with Harvest Ministry. Ann is co-founder of two African orphanages, writer for “Better Parents, Better Families” on the Christian Post and “The Missional Mind” with Biblica, and author of several books including The Mission-Minded Family.

November 30, 2009 By Angela 4 Comments

When the In-Laws Have Trouble Accepting Your Child’s Special Needs

The subject of Autism has brought out a number of different responses from those around us since the day my son, Xander, was diagnosed. I remember being fully charged and ready to seek out any information on the subject, and though devastated inside, I knew that I could not accept the ideas that we were facing “a lost cause.” This would not be the end of the story for my son, it would simply be a different story. As I poured through the self-help section of numerous bookstores and on-line vendors, I slowly began to grasp that there would be no quick fix and no definitive answers on how to raise my child.

How could this be? Why didn’t they have causes and treatment solutions readily available? Why were doctors quick to medicate upon diagnosis? Would we ever be able to take a breath and stop fighting for our son?

Perhaps the most thought provoking aspect of this new path God laid out for us was when I started receiving emails from fellow parents sharing their testimonies. I think for parents, particularly mothers, it is much easier to discuss the progressions and pitfalls with nameless, faceless individuals facing the same scenarios in their own homes as they discover the new world of Autism as well. One of the most common issues that I read, almost daily, was the hardships these parents faced in sharing this “problem” with their own families.

I must admit, bringing extended family in on the diagnosis of Autism is an almost unbearable task. I imagine it is much like a psychologist or doctor delivering bad news to new parents. They are faced with instant denial of, “No, you must be wrong, you cannot possibly be talking about my child.” Until a parent is ready to accept the possibility that their child has Autism there is no way that any professional, despite their level of expertise and degrees, will be able to convince them otherwise.

This is very applicable where in-laws are concerned. I mention in-laws in particular because the most volatile of relationships can be formed when you marry into a family. The most vulnerable being a mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship. Let’s face it, we’ve all heard the horror stories from our girlfriends regarding this very subject. Perhaps there are many of you who have faced some of these situations yourselves. You may be wondering how earth to tell your mother-in-law about the world of Autism for fear of being blamed or of being told you are wrong. You may have even been told the famous, “There’s nothing wrong with your child — stop trying to label him!”

Take a breath. The fact is that these are people who have raised a child. One that you even considered marriage material. Whether or not you still feel this way about your spouse, in their eyes he’s probably pretty terrific. You may feel tired, rejected, dejected, and just plain fed up in dealing with them. Consider this: “For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men.” (Lam 3:33, NIV)

Seems simple enough on paper, doesn’t it? This applies not only to the original diagnosis your child received but also to relationships, and especially to tribulations in your life.

So what is the answer? She’s driving you crazy and you just cannot take one more conversation filled with the many ways you are “doing it wrong.” God calls us to be obedient to our parents, and “for better or worse,” you have a new set. You have a mother that never asked for the role, who has a child already, and that’s a pretty heavy weight on any woman’s shoulders.

My husband and I were married in August of 1996. Young and in love there was not a single person who could convince us that we were doing anything wrong. Let me tell you, my mother-in-law should be sainted for what she had to accept when we took our vows. I was a force to be reckoned with, wild and immature, with a truckload of baggage. I can only imagine the look on her face when she realized that I was the one that swept her baby boy off his feet and was becoming a part of her family. Having three boys myself I’m not certain I would handle this type of decision with the same level of grace. It took many years to forge a strong relationship with her, and in some ways it became harder when I had children because the active role in her son’s life expanded to the territory of grandbabies. The woman who had scared her out of her mind by marrying her son, would now be responsible for the innocent lives of others. I literally cringe when I consider what my future holds in the ways of my children’s families expanding, especially if you truly “reap what you sow.”

It was around this time that I attended a Bible study that focused on the book of Ruth. It took my breath away. Naomi and Ruth had a relationship that challenged all other mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationships. It forced me to consider a friendship outside of the connection we had in my husband. In case you need a crash course on this subject: Ruth married one of Naomi’s sons; the other was betrothed to Orpah. Naomi’s husband and both sons were killed. Whether you know this story or not, I would like you to consider what a massive tragedy this story is. Naomi lost her husband and her sons. In the book of Ruth she even changes her name to Mara, which means “bitter.” I’ll bet she was bitter. I would probably be shaking a fist at the sky myself. You can let your imagination roam to how it might have been to live with this woman after all of this transpired. Naomi ordered both Ruth and Orpah to return to their homelands and to leave her. In fact, she told them twice. Orpah said her goodbyes and left rather immediately. Ruth on the other hand had this to say, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.” Ruth 1:16 (NIV)

Back in those days this was a risky situation. Unmarried women did not have a place in society. This meant giving up the creature comforts of Ruth’s father’s house and living in complete uncertainty. I would call this absolute devotion. As a matter of fact, it was well beyond what was required of her during this time.

Ruth was obedient to her mother-in-law in many ways and God blessed her richly for it — she became the great-grandmother to Jesus. She was one of only four women mentioned in His royal line, in fact.

What does this have to do with my own mother-in-law? It changed my whole outlook on the subject. I suddenly knew what to pray for! The thought that we could ever be like Naomi and Ruth seemed to be an impossible task, given my history, but it was worth a try. Through this I learned to listen more and be less defiant. Obedience was the number one task at hand, with tactfulness being a close second. You may be thinking, “Oh forget that!” but I can tell you that God has the power to change your circumstances if only you will take the first steps. You must ask Him and you must be willing to go the extra mile by accepting your role in the relationship

Sadly there will always be relationships out there that will not mend, but it is important that your hands are clean in all of your dealings. “The LORD has dealt with me according to my righteousness; according to the cleanness of my hands he has rewarded me.” 2 Samuel 22:21

When talking to in-laws about Autism these same rules apply. It is important to remember that this is a learning experience for them, too. Chances are the feelings you had when your child was diagnosed are the very same emotions engulfing them as well. Just like the doctor that gives bad news upon deaf ears, they must come to terms with this new idea as well. Would you like to know what NOT to do? Do not force them to accept the diagnosis immediately. You had time to let this sink in before going in, both guns blazing, ready to conquer the world. They need time as well.

Do not let yourself get discouraged because they just don’t get it. They may not ever accept this diagnosis, but there’s a good chance that your parenting style didn’t exactly jive with their ways either. It always amuses me to see the looks on grandparents’ faces when the daughter-in-law announces things like, “We don’t believe in spanking!” “Um, no cookouts for my little ones, we’re vegetarian.”

You keep doing what you’re doing. Being an advocate for your child is not disrespect, it’s your God-given right that no one can take away. There’s a good chance that they will eventually warm up to your ideas, despite how different their parenting styles were. The most important issue to everyone is that the children are loved. Try listening more than talking.

When talking to your in-laws, take the time to hear their point of view on the subject. Through this you may recognize some of the factors driving negative comments. They may be scared, devastated, in denial, or they may just want to argue with you. Though the last example may seem a bit humorous, there are those out there for whom this is reality on a daily basis. In considering scared, devastated, and in denial, people can agree, kids bring these emotions out in all of us. It is love that drives them all.

Remember: You weren’t the only one who had hopes and dreams for this child. Some of the best conversation starters could simply be questions on their expectations. (Provided both parties can be kind to one another.) Prayer should be the first step in including the in-laws in your child’s life. There will always be extenuating circumstances that need to be avoided, such as being afraid your child will be abused in any way, or that you would be placing them in a dangerous environment. If your new extended family loves your child and wants the best for him, as you do, then the best step would be involving them as much as possible and encouraging a healthy relationship for the child’s sake.

Dear Heavenly Father,
I come before You tired and ready to give up on my family. We just can’t seem to see eye to eye. Lord, I know that You can see the bigger picture and that through my precious child(ren), You may have plans to heal my family from past hurts. I ask Lord that You work in me now, changing my heart to make me like Ruth. I ask that You open my (mother-in-law’s, father-in-law’s, parent’s, mother’s, father’s, etc.) to be receptive to my change and that You help me keep my hands clean in all of my dealings. Lord, I just ask that You give me to wisdom and courage to be an active advocate and a good parent to my child(ren) with special needs, and that I may bless You Lord through my obedience. Amen.

Angela DeRossett is military wife, homeschooling mother, and an advocate for autism research. She also serves as the Heart of the Matter Review Coordinator. Angela can be found blogging at Homeschooling the Chaotic Family and Memoirs of a Chaotic Mommy.

October 25, 2009 By Renae 14 Comments

Throughout childhood, I read a chapter of the Bible every night. My good habit was challenged in high school. Routine became hypocritical, so I stopped. I only read the Word of God when I felt like it.

I cannot recall a specific teacher who introduced this twisted idea of hypocrisy. But somewhere along the way, I concluded feelings revealed how to be true to myself. This decision didn’t affect my school work. For some odd reason, algebra assignments and history essays were completed in spite of grumbling.

The disconnect remained for years. Sometimes I wonder if emotions and reality were shoved together and are still mismatched.

Washing 895 loads of laundry a month, preparing 302 meals a week, and cleaning floors 101 times a day had no place in my youthful dreams. My prince would build a cottage beneath the mountains where we would enjoy sunsets and thunderstorms. I didn’t realize how many floods would come.

Emotions are a gift from the Lord, but we are not designed to live according to the mood of the moment. Right now, I don’t feel like homeschooling. The honeymoon has worn off. The excitement of our first steps into learning brings a smile of remembrance. Our library overflows the space allotted to it. The first books return to the top of the pile.

I’m not excited to teach phonograms again, but joy is set before me.

The joy of hearing words leap off the page.
The joy of reading my little girl’s love notes.
The joy of seeing my child read the Word of God.

It is not hypocrisy to choose love no matter what feelings say. My emotions kick and prod, but they are not Lord.

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him…, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 12:1-2)

Photo credit: amulligan

Renae teaches her eleven-year-old son and two little girls at home. She has prepared lesson plans, enjoyed children’s literature, and delighted in discovery with her children for five years. By studying Principle Approach philosophy, she realized what she always suspected: the Bible lies at the heart of all subjects. Find her reflections at Life Nurturing Education.

October 18, 2009 By Nikowa Lee 8 Comments

Growing up as an only child, the pressure was always on me to answer “yes” to everything. After all, there was no one else to split the responsibilities or chores with. It was all me – all of the time. After years of saying “yes”, I’m now finding it hard to say “no”.

Women by nature are great multi-tasker’s. I think God made us this way for a reason. That’s smart design! We can fold laundry, talk on the phone, & nurse a baby all at the same time. I’m sure you know what I mean. Our to-do lists are a mile long and we’re always adding more to it quicker than we cross stuff off.

Do you stay stressed out even over the “small stuff”? This probably means that you have too much on your plate. Assess everything that you’re doing at home and away from home. That’s right. Just for a moment, take the time, write it down. Everything.

Then assess what’s necessary for you to complete and what you can delegate. Surely your children can help clean the house. They can also pick up after themselves. Teach them to be proactive. Delegate as much as you can. After all, you do so much more behind-the-scenes work. Once you’ve delegated all that you can, mark those things off your list.

Next we should evaluate those things that we want to keep in our life versus those things that really aren’t fulfilling us. You can determine if something is no longer fulfilling you by asking a few simple questions.

Do I get joy from this task?
Is this task helping me?
Is this task helping others?
Am I being a blessing by completing this task?
Does this task cause me or my family grief?
Is it more of a chore than something that you like to do?
Did I just agree to do this to make someone else happy?

Basically you should get your priorities in check. You priorities can change all the time. What was important to you 6 months ago might not be so important to you now.

You should also reevaluate your tasks if you, like me, have problems saying “No”. Practice this, not just at home. “No I cannot do that right now.” “No thank you. It’s a great opportunity, but it’s not the right time.” It’s better to turn down opportunities than become overwhelmed with all of your duties. After all, how effective can you be at your tasks if you’re only able to give 10% to each of them? I don’t know about you but I want to give my best in everything I do.

Nikowa has been homeschooling her two boys since 2007. With her “learning never ends” philosophy, they have an eclectic year-round approach to learning. When she’s not teaching, she enjoys photography, organizing, cooking, and reading. She is a #1 LOST fan and watches UGA football too! (Go Dawgs!) You can visit Nikowa at Knowledge House Academy.

October 17, 2009 By Angela 7 Comments

Ever had one of those weeks that everything goes wrong? Um, of course you have. I started out this week intending to write a happy column about joy, the next Fruit of the Spirit in the list. I tried, really I did. I tried to tell you about how my son Xander has started reading. I was going to add that I beamed with pride.

And I did! Honestly, I did!

My joy was lost this week. I had homework like you would not believe—fifteen quizzes, four exams, one paper, and eight pages of Greek homework. Yes, this was my homework. I found myself getting progressively angrier at the homework that was still left to do, the daily lessons for my children, and the piling housework.

My joy had fizzled.

I prayed that I would regain my joy and be able to articulate a beautiful, perfect picture of joy for all of you. I prayed that I would find joy in my children, in my husband, or in decorating my front yard for the fall.

Do you know what happened next?

We canceled a trip home to see our parents.
Groceries went UP again.
All three of my boys needed new shoes—again.
The car needed very expensive repairs.
I had to steam clean my house for the second time in a month.
My bank decided to hold a check that they always cash immediately leaving us frazzled on what bills we had paid with the assumption it would be there.

The final straw, you ask? I bombed an exam. I had finally reached my threshold and the floodgates opened. I am typically not a crier, and boy, did I cry!

The last couple of days have been relatively calmer—er, more manageable. I sat down to write my article about joy. No big surprise, the inspiration was still not there. I knew it was time for a ‘Plan B’. I carefully looked at the list and landed on longsuffering.

I looked it up in my Bible dictionary and had to smile when I read this:

Verb. …to be patient, longsuffering, to bear with,…to be long-tempered.

Patience never has been a virtue of mine.

As I thought further about this subject I knew it was the topic for this month. After all, how many of us pray in desperation and expect an answer immediately? How many times in life must we weather through trials only to find out they weren’t so bad in the long run?

There was only one issue left. How do I tie this into teaching all of you something about Autism? I must admit that once the answer came to me I felt foolish.

You see, my son Xander has been learning the basics of patience. We have made it a point to make him wait at least five minutes when he asks for something now. If his frivolous needs (in our minds) are not met with the same exuberance to comply in which the issue was presented by him then a full meltdown ensues. All of his basic needs are met daily. He does not miss a meal, he has a roof over his head, running water, electricity, a place to sleep, and clothing to wear. In order to properly teach him that anything outside those areas are not as important he sometimes must wait.

Ironic, isn’t it? You see, my Father knew what was best for me this week too. He could see the bigger picture as my basic needs were provided for and all of the things outside of those areas were not as important. He knew the bigger lessons would be in making me wait for the answers. He knew I was going to get frustrated, kick and scream, feel sorry for myself, feel overwhelmed—and impatient. He also knew it would be okay in the end.

By the way, the lessons in patience were very, very difficult in the beginning for Xander. We saw many meltdowns before he finally learned that it was okay to wait sometimes. While his patience still has much to be desired we still have time to work on it.

I need the practice anyway.

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