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Featured Homeschooler: Arby

July 27, 2008 By Nikowa Lee 3 Comments

Please welcome this week’s Featured Homeschooler Arby of “Arby’s Archives”!!

1. I think it’s wonderful that you’re a homeschooling father. Tell us about your Homeschool journey.

We began home schooling General Mayhem at the start of his second grade year, after discussing it for two years. One month later Captain Chaos fell critically ill. We struggled through her two month hospitalization, the General’s initial home schooling rebellion, and our home school growing pains while the Boss lived at the hospital and I remained home with the boys. It was a disaster. Since then, each year has gotten easier. We’ve had difficulties as the General adjusted to my teaching style and I adjusted to his learning style, but now we’re on cruise control. We both know that each of us has the ability to set the tone for the day, depending upon our attitude in the morning. Next year we throw Major Havoc into the mix!

2. You’re a very hands-on dad. Where do you get your ideas for the Homeschool projects?

I get some of my ideas on-line from home school websites, some from fellow bloggers, and some, like this summer’s catapult project, from my innate desire to see things explode. Combining boys and “home schooling projects” is just a grown man’s excuse for attempting to launch a rutabaga a city block. The wackier ideas come from the Boss. Without her my home school would be horrendously dull. She’s very creative. She taught me to ask the question, “Why not?” when most people ask, “Why?”

3. I love your nicknames for your children, General Mayhem-Major Havoc-and Captain Chaos. What’s your nickname?

CINC KANH: Commander in Chief, Kansas Home School.

4. It’s not very likely that you have free time with 3 super-hero’s running around but when you do, what do you like to do?

Captain Chaos is our only girl and her personal philosophy of life comes from observing Major Havoc’s antics and deciding, “Hey, I can top that!” When I’m not squelching the minor skirmishes that seem to dominate each day, I enjoy writing and reading. I hope to rediscover my golf game with my favorite golfing partner, my wife, when General Mayhem is old enough to baby sit and we feel confident that we won’t return home to find the smoldering remains of our house.

5. As a homeschooling father, do you experience any prejudices when you’re out-and-about with the children during “school” hours?

I’ve been called “The Little Woman,” “The Housewife,” “Mr. Mom,” and have been asked, “Are you ready to be fitted for a skirt?” Those comments were from home schoolers I’ve met. While most people don’t seem to notice me in public with the children, a few older ladies have asked, “Giving mom a day off?” One cashier exclaimed, “Oh, it’s so nice to see a dad spending time with his children.” If she only knew.

6. As a former middle school teacher, did you ever think you would be teaching your own through Homeschool?

When I was teaching, I didn’t know what home schooling was. I had heard the term, but I thought it was the domain of society’s kooks and outcasts. Now I’m one of the kooks. I wish more people would seriously consider this wonderful lifestyle.

7. Your wife deploys in July for Iraq. What are you doing to prepare the family and keep in contact?

Honesty is key. We’ve told the children that mom will be leaving for awhile to work in another country. We’ll increase the frequency of telling them the closer she gets to leaving. The younger two don’t really understand, and probably won’t remember much after the Boss returns home in the fall. That was our experience when our oldest was four and mom went TDY to Virginia for four months. At 11, he not only understands that mom will be gone for four months, he knows that she is going to a war zone. He doesn’t like it, but he understands. Our best chance of success for getting through her deployment is keeping the children’s lives as normal as possible, maintaining our usual schedules and routines. We’ll keep in touch using smoke signals, semaphore, e-mail, regular mail, and the occasional phone call.

8. You have 3 children, 1 gerbil, 1 dog and 1 goldfish. What made you decide to throw baby chicks (4) in the mix?

The Boss. She’s always wanted chickens. When I discovered that it was legal to free-range chickens in our back yard, I asked, “Why not?”

9. Do you have any tips suggestions for your fellow father homeschoolers?

Be patient. Be flexible. Handle others with Grace. Enjoy yourselves!

Articles for Dads

July 7, 2008 By The Amies Leave a Comment

During the month of June, we allowed our husbands to “hijack” Heart of the Matter Online for 10 days surrounding Father’s Day. It was quite comical, as they got rid of everything pink, changed the header to something more manly, and even added images of Lowes and Home Depot in our sidebar under “sponsors.”

Many amazing homeschooling dads, authors, and business owners contributed articles and products for giveaways. In fact, the men were so generous that we were able to host a giveaway every day for 10 days! Some of the articles were written especially for the men, but since we understand that our primary readers are moms, we would like to provide you with a special downloadable pdf just for your husbands. Simply print it off for your darling husband, and he will be able to read at his leisure. He is certain to be blessed!

Helping Fathers Stay Involved

June 15, 2008 By Dana 14 Comments

Congratulations goes to Melody is Slurping Life for being the winner of this Power of a Praying Wife giveaway!

Ten ways for fathers to maintain their presence through physical separation

August 11, 2007 we got the phone call we were dreading. “This is BNSF crew management. You have been force assigned to Denver, Colorado…” My husband would be moving five hundred miles away for an unknown period of time while I stayed home alone with four children and all the responsibilities of running a household. “We are fortunate,” we told ourselves. Military families must make these sacrifices every day. We always knew that becoming a railroad family would bring with it a hectic schedule. In fact, flexibility was one of the original attractions homeschooling held for us because it allowed time to be with dad even when his home time did not coincide with traditional school hours.

The importance of fathers in the education of their children is well-documented. In a study published by the US Department of Education, for example, children living with both biological parents were far more likely to earn mostly A’s and far less likely to ever be suspended than their blended family or single parent family counterparts. Resting on an increasing body of research, the US Department of Health and Human Services published a handbook in 2006 for caseworkers to educate them in the importance of fathers to the family unit. For the most part, it tells Child Protective Service workers what most Christians have known for a long time: “Fathers have a powerful and positive impact upon the development and health of children.” After all, it was God who instructed fathers to bring their children up “in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4)

While we understand the importance of fathers in the lives of our children, practical applications can be elusive, particularly if the father is called away from the home for extended periods due to work, ministry or the military. Lack of physical presence, however, does not have to mean a lack of a fatherly presence. With a combination of old-fashioned letter writing and the advantages offered by modern technology, it is possible for fathers to remain connected to their families despite periodic separation.

Send letters and postcards.

Communication is perhaps one of the most important foundations for a relationship. While modern technology gives us a great advantage in the ability to stay connected even at a distance, there is something about writing and receiving letters that helps families feel closer. When my husband is on the road, he sends the children post cards which they carry about until they are too worn to decipher. My four year old ask me to read them until he has them memorized. Not only do the children have the words of their father, but they have something physical to hold and to remind them of their father’s presence. Email can be a good means of communication as well, but even my eight year old does not get nearly as excited over these digital messages as she does over letters in the mail.

Leave a message in a bottle.

Fill a bottle or other container with brief notes of encouragement and instruction for each child. Allow the children to read one each day their father is gone. Children can then write their own note back to dad to be collected in a special container. This can be read later when he returns, or even be taken with him on his next trip.

Take pictures. Lots of pictures.

Children love to see where their father works. Unfortunately, it is not always possible to make a field trip to daddy’s office to allow them to see for themselves, but pictures make it possible for them to get an idea of where their father is and how important they are to him. Digital cameras and cell phones make this especially easy. Do not forget the seemingly mundane: the desk where you write your letters, your stash of letters and drawings from the children as well as any interesting spot you know your children would want to explore if they were there. If you have an extra camera, allow the children to take pictures from their day. These can be sent in an email or saved until the father returns.

Cell phones and Skype.

Telephones allow anyone to “reach out and touch someone.” Cell phones can add to the convenience and make possible multiple, brief calls throughout the day. If both parents have access to the Internet, Skype is a free service allowing PC to PC communication with voice and even video. The first time my husband called the children via Skype, they were so excited to see him on the monitor that there was really no conversation. They just kept waving and shouting, “I see Daddy! Hi, Daddy!”

Play games.

Play is a powerful means of connecting with children, and there are a number of games that can be played together even from far away. Battleship is perfect and, since it is played on a grid as well, even chess can be played over the phone. With Internet access, the possibilities are almost endless, allowing families to play digital versions of some of their favorite games as well as try out some new ones. Invent games together as well. Children can be encouraged to go on a scavenger hunt for memories to share with their father when he returns.

Give presents.

While my husband was in Kansas City and later in Denver, he bought each of the children a souvenir which now ranks among their favorite possessions. These small tokens of affection do not need to be purchased, however. Interesting rocks, a fallen leaf or a rubbing from a plaque all demonstrate that you
were thinking of your children and will likely become treasured additions to a collection. It is not about the monetary value of the gift and regularly splurging would likely spoil a child. Small tokens let a young child know they were thought of without letting the gift become the focus of the reunion.

Maintain discipline.

When the father is frequently away, home time is precious. It is easy to excuse misbehavior by thinking, “They are just excited,” or, “We have so little time. I don’t want to take it up with discipline issues.” This change in expectations between the time the father is home and the time he is away is stressful for children, however. In the long run, it will make home time less pleasant and more chaotic as children increasingly take advantage of lowered expectations. It is better to invest time early in discipline, even if it seems like the home time is “wasted” dealing with minor behavior problems. This will help the children transition more smoothly and make home time much more pleasant for everyone later.

Take advantage of home time.

Make sure to set aside time just for family without other distractions. Try to have some amount of time devoted to each child. This does not have to be extravagant. Once a month, my husband takes one child out for a special day. Normally, this just involves running errands together and maybe picking up lunch or a snack. Sometimes an entire day is not necessary or may even be too much for younger children. My four year old son is ecstatic when chosen to accompany his father on a quick trip to the hardware store. When asked to go along to pick up a gallon of milk from the local grocery story, my two year old asked, “Me? Just me?”

Do not forget about mom.

Parents make a number of sacrifices for their children. Unfortunately, it is common to even sacrifice each other. Time with the children can become such a priority that couples can forget how important their own time together is. The foundation of the Christian family is a right relationship with God and this is seen most practically by children in the relationship of their parents to one another.

Remain positive.

It is natural for children (and parents) to wish that the situation were different and that the father were able to spend more time at home. Help children to understand why the situation is the way it is. Fathers make tremendous sacrifices for Christ, for country and for their families by choosing professions which take them away from home. Let children know the good that is coming from these choices.

Sometimes, the hardest part is remembering that you are not alone. Our churches rightly put a strong emphasis on the importance of the father’s role in the home, but this can also leave families feeling like they are not doing enough when the father is called away frequently. While this situation might not necessarily be ideal, it can be overcome. I always think back to the example of John Adams, Founding Father and second President of the United States. When he and young Abigail married, they did not realize they would spend more time apart than together during their early years while John Adams was busy fathering a nation. Concerned that he was away during the formative years of young John Quincy Adams, he wrote many letters, emphasizing the importance of the time in which they lived and giving general direction as to the books his son should turn his attention to. Reading his letters reveals the devotion of a father committed to family, despite the greatness of events he is engaged in and the distance which separates them. They also reveal the developing character of his young son. At the age of ten, young Adams writes to his father,

Dear Sir

I Love to receive Letters very well much better than I love to write them, I make but a poor figure at Composition my head is much too fickle, my Thoughts are running after birds eggs play and trifles, till I get vexd with my Self, Mamma has a troublesome task to keep me Steady, and I own I am ashamed of myself….I wish sir you would give me Some instructions with regard to my time and advise me how to proportion my Studies and my Play, in writing and I will keep them by me and endeavour to follow them I am dear Sir with a present determination fo growing better yours,

John Quincy Adams

The exchange of letters which ensued certainly contributed no small influence in young John Quincy Adams to eventually follow in his father’s foot steps as the sixth President of the United States. His father’s presence was tangible, even from a great distance, because of the commitment his father made to remain involved despite inevitable periods of separation.

This article was originally published in Home School Enrichment.

One of the most important ways a wife can support her husband is through prayer. You can pray for his walk with God, his professional life, his relationship with his children, his protection and much much more. All of the gifts that we have offered this past week have been masculine-themed, however this one is for you, the devoted wife, and we believe it will benefit him more than all the other gifts combined. For there is nothing stronger than the power of prayer. Stormie O’Martian says, “Prayer is a way to invite God’s power into your husband’s life for his greatest blessing, which is ultimately yours too.”

We are thrilled to offer you the opportunity to win a copy of The Power of a Praying Wife. To enter this giveaway, simply leave us a comment.

The Homeschooling Father

June 13, 2008 By Guest 1 Comment

By Michael Farris
Founder and Chairman, Home School Legal Defense Association

Parents do not need professional training to become excellent homeschool instructors. But they do need divine empowerment if they are going to have the stick-to-it-iveness necessary to keep to the task as their children progress from toddler to adult. Every homeschooling father needs to begin to examine his duty to his wife and children by considering their need for spiritual empowerment. They are going to be mocked by friends, neighbors and relatives. They may be prosecuted by authorities. They are going to face spiritual warfare. They are going to have to do a lot of plain old hard work.

Fathers do not have the job of directly supplying the spiritual power their families need. That is God’s job. But a father has the responsibility to see to it that God’s power is flowing freely to each and every member of his family. A father is to serve as the family “pastor,” providing spiritual leadership for his home. In other words, Dad, if you want your children to be homeschooled, you must commit yourself to becoming a vital spiritual leader for your family.

A father is usually expected to provide spiritual leadership by (1) taking his wife and children to church with him; (2) praying regularly for his wife and children; and (3) conducting regular family devotions. There is no doubt we should routinely discharge all three of these duties though these tasks are simply methods not goals. In fact, when we focus on these three duties rather than on attaining spiritual goals, these duties tend to become distasteful tasks to be endured – the spiritual equivalent of home maintenance projects.

Some examples of goals for children include: My child will love and understand God’s Word, my child will be an effective witness, my child will spend daily time with God and my child will understand the power of prayer. You may be currently frustrated with your attempts to plan meaningful spiritual activities for your family. Once you have set spiritual goals for your children, it is easier to plan activities since you will need to make specific plans to reach specific goals.

If you want your children to spend daily time in God’s Word, then you need to plan activities which are designed to reach this goal. If you want your children to be effective witnesses, then you need to plan activities which will give them an opportunity to witness. Having spiritual goals and plans is not an absolute guarantee of success. But if you have no goal, you will hit it every time. The steps and actions required of a spiritual leader are not that different from the kind of leadership men are required to demonstrate on the job.

We fathers need to exercise at least as much diligence in our spiritual goal-setting, planning and review as we do on our jobs. After all, the stakes are a lot higher. God is the ultimate foundation of all our endeavors. However, from the perspective of human responsibility, your spiritual leadership is the foundation upon which your homeschooling program will be built. You want your children to succeed, so give them a foundation for spiritual success. Be a real spiritual leader.

Real Answers from Real Men

June 12, 2008 By Guest 4 Comments

A few weeks ago we asked our readers to send us their husband’s input to a variety of questions designed to get to know the heart of the average homeschooling husband and father. Some of their answers will tickle your funny bone, others might tug at your heartstrings. We could not possibly include all the answers we received, but here is a collection of some of the most insightful or most common answers.

1. What do you wish your wife would understand more about you?

  • Sometimes I just want to be listened to and heard.
  • That I’m not angry or disappointed in her as often as she thinks.
  • How much I really love her.
  • There are sometimes that I really am thinking about nothing.
  • That I think she is beautiful no matter what she does to herself.
  • That I am not an animal for wanting sex every day.

2. What would be your perfect day?

  • A family picnic and a mountain bike ride.
  • Morning intimacy, golf, little bit of shopping, meet the family at the boat for an evening cruise, more intimacy after kids are in bed.
  • Church, then Popeyes Chicken and Saints football (Saints win), then whole family snuggles under covers and takes a nap.
  • A cup of coffee outside by myself with a newspaper, then a great breakfast with my family. Then a little reading and thinking time. Then, a nice lunch outside somewhere. Then, an afternoon nap. Then a good dinner on the barbecue. Then, kids go to bed and parents play. :)
  • Having sex all day

3. What is the most ingenious or oddest use you’ve found for duct tape?

  • Taping someone to a tree/ being taped to a tree
  • My son uses it for everything and I never get to use it.
  • My son can make a duct tape belt and that’s pretty cool. My daughter made a duct tape wallet and that was cool, too.
  • Naptime enforcer. Just kidding. Reinforcement of the artificial Christmas tree box. Ten years and it still holds together, like a sausage. I wish I was kidding.
  • Patching a hole in your pants (one piece on inside and one on outside of hole)-obviously not a permanent fix

4. If you didn’t have to consider your wife’s preferences, what would be your perfect date night?

  • Dinner by the water outside on a warm evening
  • Motorcycle ride going out for ice cream.
  • A great steak dinner, a play or concert, then coffee and a stroll around downtown.
  • A nice meal and an evening without thinking about what is going on. It could end in a little romance and I wouldn’t mind so much.
  • One where we walk, holding hands, and some excellent Chinese food.
  • Eat buffalo wings and go watch a ball game

5. What gift would you rather receive?

A. Power Tool of choice 25%
B. Intimacy 58%
C. An evening alone at home– no wife, no kids, just quiet. 17%

6. What does your wife do that REALLY makes you want to run and hide?

  • Not listen and jump to conclusions
  • Yell at the kids when she has really had a hard day
  • Any major cleaning project (closets, the garage, etc.)
  • Gets mad about shoes in the house
  • Wake you up too early in the morning
  • Accuse me of staring at another woman
  • Get angry when I am just trying to be playful

7. What could your wife do to make your daily homecoming pleasant?

  • Come over and give me a kiss.
  • Greet me and be happy I’m home, not complain that I work too much.
  • Be pleasant and not criticize me for anything.
  • “Hi Honey! I’m proud of you and I respect you for the work you’ve done today.”
  • Greet me wearing nothing but an apron.
  • Give me time to adjust without talking my ear off when I walk in the door.
  • Get the kids involved in something so they don’t climb on me.
  • Have dinner ready and the house tidy.

8. What is your greatest reservation about homeschooling?

  • That the kids wouldn’t be able to attend the college of their choice.
  • The kids don’t get daily interaction with other kids their age.
  • Putting too much stress on my wife related to planning and preparation.
  • How much we stick to a structured approach versus real-life experience and unstructured learning.
  • Kids being too secluded from realities of today’s society and not knowing how to handle them as an adult.
  • That their academic achievement will not be recognized as equal to public or private schooling – that their education might be viewed by colleges/employers as lesser.
  • Boredom

9. What makes you feel loved?

  • Being listened to followed by intimacy
  • When my family seeks my attention, wants to be near me
  • My children wanting me to read stories to them.
  • When she makes me a drink without being asked, rubs my shoulders without being asked, offers to put the kids to bed alone so I can relax after a long day.
  • Her willingness to take care of me when I’m feeling un-well.
  • When my wife initiates sex
  • When the house and errands are taken care of so I can spend all my free time with family
  • Not being argued with
  • When she tells me I am her dream man or hero

10. Is there a way that you show love to your wife that she doesn’t always notice or appreciate?

  • Playful affection
  • Even though I am often overwhelmed by my days, I do not let work take over my life.
  • I rave about her beauty.
  • When I fill her car up with gas
  • Going to work everyday so she can homeschool
  • Bringing in the groceries for her
  • Spending time with her family even when I don’t want to
  • Making sure her car is in great shape
  • I get her all the best gadgets and technologies to make her life as easy as possible

11. What are some creative ways husbands and wives can spend time together at home without actually having a night out?

  • Beside
    s just putting the kids to bed at 6pm (yeah, right!) we try to run errands and do everything as a family. If the kids go to bed on time, then it’s easy to have several hours alone together so long as you don’t get distracted with other things.
  • We meet 1 night per week after the kids are in bed for prayer and Bible study, also renting a movie for after bed time, or exercise together.
  • Watch cooking shows together and then make what you saw on TV.
  • Purchase your favorite series on DVD and watch an episode after the kids are in bed.
  • Funny comedy movies, so you can laugh together. Laughter brings people together.

12. What would their typical school day look like if they took over for the day? Phone calls, school, errands, breakfast, lunch, dinner, and chores.

  • Wake up.
    Eat cereal or waffles.
    Sit down and they would do their schoolwork. They would ask questions that I have no idea what the answers are. Then I’d say let’s move on to the next subject.
    Lunch would be macaroni and cheese or Cici’s Pizza.
    We’d come home and be too full to finish school. So we’d take a nap.
    That’s about it.
  • Field trip!!
  • We would take a sick day and play video games all day.
  • Cereal for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I would not answer the phone. We would read books, and watch educational videos all day.

13. How can I get my husband involved/lead family devotions without him feeling that it is just another thing on his plate?
We’ve struggled with this one in the past too. My first response is to ask why do you feel it’s necessary for him to lead family devotionals in the first place? Without devotionals, is he living up to his role as the spiritual head of the household? Does he model Christian behavior, put the family first, share the gospel with his children in other ways (read Bible stories, make Church attendance a priority, etc.)? Devotionals are a good thing, but they do not equate to “being a good father or spiritual leader” and a lot of times it comes across as criticism. My wife used to do several devotionals and Bible studies at a time and all it did was make her too busy to enjoy life.

If he’s truly not living up to his role as spiritual leader, you’ve got bigger fish to fry and may need to seek the help of a Christian Counselor or your pastor. If he’s doing a great job and you just want to add this new item to the mix, 1.) to him it probably does seem to be just another thing on his plate, 2.) there will always be things to add to the mix so keep in mind that this one thing isn’t the end all, be all, 3.) see if there is anything you can subtract from the equation and substitute the devotional so it’s not taking up more time, just a different use of the time he’s already blocked aside, and 4.) try getting him to commit to a small goal like one hour a month. It should be pretty hard for him to say no to such a small request and it would at least get the process started.

For men, especially those with hectic work schedules, the thought of committing a regular amount of time to any activity that we don’t feel is a necessity makes us cringe. It might not be that he doesn’t want to do the devotional but just that he doesn’t know what the future holds with his schedule and doesn’t want to make promises he can’t keep. Start slow…Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Look Up

June 12, 2008 By Guest 15 Comments

Nikki of Angelheart is the winner of this giveaway– Congratulations!

By Curt Whalen
Husband of HOTM writer Marybeth Whalen and homeschool dad to 6 children

Bathing my soon-to-be three year old is always a challenge. Don’t get me wrong. He loves the water. He loves his toys, loves pouring water from cups, and loves “painting” the walls with a washcloth. And I love watching him laugh.

But sooner than he likes, bedtime draws near and we have to get the soap out and wash the day’s dirt away. Our problem begins when we have to wash his hair. He absolutely hates shampoo, and cries out loud when I have to pour water over his head. I’m always careful and have never gotten soap in his eyes, but to him that doesn’t matter. As soon as I grab a cup to wash the shampoo away I hear, “No daddy!,” and he ducks his head to try and avoid the water, only making matters worse.

The scene played out this morning while we were getting ready for church. Bath-time was over and I began the rinsing process. As I began pouring and he ducked his head to avoid the water, I heard myself saying, “Son, just look up. Look up and everything will be OK. Look up. I won’t let it hurt you.” The second those words came out of my mouth, I felt an ache in my heart and my eyes clouded over with tears.

You see, for the past few years, life has been a struggle financially for my family. The changes in our economy have been tough at my place of employment. I’m a commissioned salesman and have watched my monthly income slowly decline. Some specific things happened over the last few weeks that have caused me to experience some extreme emotions of fear and anger. I’ve been walking through a valley and am embarrassed to admit that in my period of self-loathing, I’ve let myself turn away from God and even directed anger His way.

As I’ve found to be typical, God uses the little things of this world to draw us back to Himself. I sat in our bathroom this morning heartbroken as the implications of the words I spoke to my son were sinking in. I heard a voice inside my heart. “Son, just look up. Look up and everything will be OK. Look up. I won’t let it hurt you.”

Look up.

It is so easy when we are in the valleys of our journey that we forget to look up. It is so easy to wander aimlessly through the desert times of our lives and turn away from God instead of seeing Him for who He is. Doesn’t Jesus say that we only have to look up to God and ask for fish (Luke 11:11)? Doesn’t God’s word promise us His love and protection (2 Thessalonians 3:3, 1 Peter 1:5)? Why is it that we let our faith and our hope drain out of our lives as quickly as the water drains out of a tub? Why am I so quick to forget the countless blessing I’ve already been given? How is it that I can forget that God has always provided for the things my family and I need? How is it that in a moment of trial I can still turn away from Abba Father instead of looking up and letting His love carry me through a difficult time?

I learn so much from the behavior of my children. A beautiful transformation occurred during my son’s bath this morning. For the very first time, my son fought through his fears and listened to his father’s voice. I gently coaxed him to look up to me, and with blind faith, he listened and obeyed. I carefully poured the water over his head and washed all the soap and dirt away. And I saw the realization form in his eyes that his father was going to protect him from harm. His cries of fear turned to shouts of laughter and joy.

Another transformation took place this morning. Quietly in my heart I prayed that God would forgive my unfaithfulness. Through teary eyes, I looked up to Him and promised to trust in His ways and have faith that He would help me through this difficult time. And for the first time in awhile, I rediscovered the hope I have in this life because of God’s love and His grace.

One of the hardest parts of our Christian faith is coming down off a “mountaintop” and finding yourself in a valley of suffering. We all experience it in one way or another. I praise God that we are able to put all of our hope in Him knowing that He promises to protect us. I pray that you’re not experiencing a valley in your life. But if you are, I would encourage you to look up and call out to our Father in Heaven. Fall on your knees, look up, and let his love pour over you. Let God wash all the fears of this world away.

“Look up. Look up and everything will be OK. Look up. I won’t let it hurt you.”

*******************
As the father of 6 children, Curt understands the importance of reading to your kids, especially when they are young. We have a terrific book to share with you. Daddy Island is written by world renown poet Philip Wells, illustrated by the very talented Niki Daly, and published by one of our favorite children’s book publishers, Barefoot Books. In the book, an adventurous young boy learns he can use his imagination and become anything he wants to be as he explores “Daddy Island.” This book is a MUST for fathers who have children who enjoy using them as jungle gyms!

Would you like the opportunity to win a copy of Daddy Island?

To enter this giveaway, tell us 5 things that make your husband a GREAT daddy.

Turning 40

June 11, 2008 By Guest 25 Comments

Congrats to Karly on winning this hilarious video!

By Tim Hawkins
Comedian and homeschool dad

It came and went. Faster than a speeding bullet. My 40th birthday. And there was nothing I could do about it.

My face is changing. I have eyebrows growing in like fiber optic cable. I’m serious. “Honey, do we have any pruning shears? I’ve gotta trim these babies up.” There’s like leaves and apples growing in my eyebrow foliage. And then my ears. It looks like I have ZZTop living in there. “’Cause every girl’s crazy / ‘Bout Earhair man”. Rock on.

My products are changing. I’ve noticed you can tell you’re getting older by the products you start to use. My wife just bought me some deodorant that’s labeled ‘Clinical Strength’. That’s when you know you have issues: When your armpit funk is a clinical case study.

My body is changing. For Christmas, my wife got me a special bathroom scale. It not only measures body weight. It measures water weight, bone density, and body fat. Great. Now I have not 1 but 4 reasons to feel like a failure. I’m just glad the scale doesn’t talk. “Hey! Mix in a salad, you hairy-eared fat freak! GET OFF ME!!”

My beverages are changing. I can’t drink Coke anymore. No, no, no. My wife has me drinking diet soda. I can’t stand diet soda. Does anyone remember the first diet soda? Tab. That’s right, Tab. It was like carbonated Epicac. Sure, it’s easy to lose weight when you’re dry heaving all the time. The tab ON the can tasted better than the Tab IN the can.

My foods are changing. I can’t eat real eggs anymore. My wife is buying egg substitute. Which freaks me out. Where do those come from? What kind of chickens are shooting those things out?

And no more bacon. I love bacon. I brush my teeth with bacon sometimes. My wife went to the organic store and brought me home ‘turkey bacon’. Turkey… Bacon!? How is that possible? What, are the turkeys and the pigs hooking up now? What’s going on down on the farm these days? Gobble Gobble Oink Oink, I don’t think so. I mean, I’m open minded, but that just doesn’t sound Christian to me. And turkey bacon just doesn’t perform like bacon should. Real bacon crinkles up and sizzles when you cook it. Turkey bacon just lays flat. It’s like eating a meat flavored fruit roll-up.

Still, after I weigh the pros and cons, I’m looking forward to my 40’s. Because I’ve found there’s something great about getting older. I’ve learned to enjoy the little things that make life special. Like learning a new lick on my guitar. Or when I find extra fries at the bottom of my McDonald’s bag. Or a nap. Little things like that.

I’m just trying to keep my eyes open and see the wonder of this life. That is… when my vision isn’t obstructed by eyebrow hair.

*********************

If you have not seen any of Tim’s stand up routines or videos, you are missing out! Here is one of our favorites…Tim’s parody of a “Homeschool Family.”

For more of Tim’s videos, click here.
Would you like the opportunity to win a copy of Tim’s hilarious dvd?

 

This episode of the smash hit Bananas features comedian and musician Tim Hawkins and is destined to be a favorite for audiences of all ages. This riotous roller coaster performance will take your breath away! Tim’s fast-paced, high-energy routines exceed the LPM (laughs per minute) limits and will keep you in stitches for the whole ride! This “appeeling” comedy show goes beyond the stage with sidesplitting interviews, as well as some hilarious unscripted moments caught on tape. Best of all, it’s good clean fun for the entire family!

Amazon.com reviews:

“Do not even wait to finish this review. Go now and buy it! You will not regret it. Tim is an outstanding and CLEAN comedien. He is hilarious. Great songs and great stories. All ages will enjoy this. The bonus selctions are very good too. Get this and then find when he’ll be in your area.”

“This guy is good. I laughed out loud the whole time, even the second and third time I watched it. This guy’s jokes are anything but corny, he just has a way of making everything funny, the way he uses his own sounds, movements, and just laughing at how crazy we are. I consider most Christian comedy to be better than secular comedy. Secular comedy anymore is just satiated with vulgarity and sex that it’s just gotten old. And just wrong. This guy is good. That’s all I have to say.”

“We loved this Tim Hawkins DVD. Good, clean comedy for the entire family. It was a real treat to watch this DVD with my wife, my boys (ages 6 and 11) and their grandparents. Everyone laughed together, and no one had to be insulted, ashamed or embarrassed by vulgar language.”

To enter this giveaway, leave us a comment about something your husband does that makes you crack up! It could be one of his quirks, an absurd joke he always tells, something down-right silly that he does to make you giggle, or anything at all.

Have Children, Will Travel: One Dad’s Ongoing Road Adventure

June 10, 2008 By Guest 24 Comments

The winner of this DVD pack is Julie– congratulations!

By Ken Carpenter
owner, Franklin Springs Family Media

“Welcome to the world, you precious Psalm 127/128 baby” is the general sentiment with which we have greeted each of the eight blessings God has brought into our home. We assure them that our greatest goal is to raise them up in the fear and admonition of the Lord, praying that they’ll be brought to a saving knowledge of Him early in life. To be fair with them, though, we should also issue them a warning: early on, they need to pack a suitcase. Being born into this family means they’ll be hitting the road sooner than later.

As a homeschooling, entrepreneurial family involved in a creative vocation (film and video production), our life is anything but routine. We never know completely what God has in store for us as we navigate each year. Our schedule rises and falls and gets reinvented at the whim of production demands, which are altogether fluid and dynamic.

Early on in this adventure of raising a sizable family while pursuing an atypical career path, I made the determination that if my work was going to take me away from home, I would commit myself to doing everything possible to bring home along with me when I travel. And having been at this strategy now for several years, I can happily report that I have been deeply rewarded as a result.

Our work/family travel takes two basic forms. Usually, if I need to go on a shoot at a destination that is within a reasonable drive, we load up the 15 passenger van with the entire family and commence with a rich-in-life-experience roadtrip. On other occasions, when it’s more reasonable to fly, I will take one (or sometimes more) of the older children with me for what is unfailingly a profitable time together. Whether it’s a few of us or the whole contingent, we usually purpose to tack a travel adventure onto one side or the other (or both) of a work engagement.

Obviously, this approach comes at a cost. Financially, it’s an investment that can be a burden. Sometimes it simply doesn’t make sense. And there’s been more than a few occasions when I’ve questioned my sanity as I’ve juggled attending to the needs of little ones while a big meeting or shoot is looming.

But those inconveniences pale when I consider the storehouse of memories we’re building as a family as we traverse the country. Whether it’s the 10 of us, or me and my 16 year old (or one of the others), we’ve shared endless unique, enriching experiences on the road – memories we’ll share our entire lives.

On the homeschool front, we are of the opinion that the knowledge acquisition that takes place while traveling is of exceptional value. While some of our subjects get set aside for trips that typically span a few days to a few weeks, the life experience garnered while traveling provides a unique learning opportunity.

Yes, we do get a healthy dose of geography, history, photography, social studies and the like on the road. My oldest son has been with me to 47 states thus far (and three countries). He’s got a pretty good feel for the lay of the land across the United States. But I’m also glad that his experiences have included everything from rolling up his sleeves on a cattle farm to improvising after cancelled flights to hailing cabs in New York City. He’s sat in on many, many meetings with me, providing him an excellent look into numerous facets of running a business. He’s been a part of meetings that are marketing oriented, and he’s been part of those that seek to assuage a client after a challenging set of circumstances. He’s been privy to a wide spectrum of customer relations.

All of the children have learned the art of operating as a team as we’ve spent so many nights moving into hotels, then usually moving out the following day. It becomes a pretty tight operation, one where we’re always challenged to maintain a decorum and disposition that combats some of the frustrations that can creep into travel. They’re learning that a fundamental civility between us all goes a long way toward keeping the peace. It’s a wonderful Deuteronomy 4 “walk in the way” means of shepherding the children’s hearts in the midst of circumstances that can sometimes try anyone’s good nature.

Another positive aspect of traveling, of course, is that the children are getting to meet a wide variety of Christian people from vastly different socioeconomic and demographic stations in life. Whether we’re staying in a family home, or visiting a church, or meeting people at, say, a Joni and Friends Family Retreat for families with disabled children (where we’ve filmed portions of a television show for Joni Eareckson Tada), the children are seeing God’s Kingdom at work. We love the 100 or so saints at our small family-integrated church outside of Nashville, Tennessee; and we love that the children are meeting God’s people in all four corners of the country.

When I reflect on our family travel, of course a lot of the predictable images quickly surface: The Grand Canyon, Niagara Falls, Mt. Rushmore, the Northern California shoreline, the streets of Old Montreal, Central Park and navigating the subway with eight children, etc. But I know that the more lasting memory will be less about the magnificent architecture or sweeping landscapes; I’m sure that we will savor much more that we’ve experienced these things as a family. We’ve faced down a lot of road challenges together; by God’s mercy, we’ve gotten through them together. And we’ve grown much closer in the process.

Does this same sort of family unity grow when we take walks along our quiet country road? When we push the children in the tire swings on a gorgeous Tennessee late afternoon? As we go through the fumbling process of trying to learn how to raise animals together? Absolutely. But is there something special about boarding an airplane with a 10 year old? With the family cheering as we cross the state line of, say, Montana? With meeting a dear Christian family in a far away state? Without a doubt.

My admonition to other fathers: though it can be a stretching process, don’t miss the opportunity to include the family in your travels when possible. Long after the challenges subside, the blessings will abound.

Ken Carpenter runs Franklin Springs Family Media from the historic village of Franklin, TN, where he and his wife Devon live with their eight travel companions.

Would you like the opportunity to win the dvd set The Young Men’s Film Pack?

This three DVD pack will provide a wide range of God-honoring entertainment and encouragement for the young men in your family. The set is available for a substantially discounted savings of just $49.95. This discounted savings is only available for a limited time. The set includes An American Adventure: The Living Legacy of Jimmy Gentry, Measure Twice, Cut Once, and Still Standing: The Stonewall Jackson Story.

An American Adventure: The Living Legacy of Jimmy Gentry traces the life of 82 year old Jimmy Gentry from his Depression-era boyhood in historic Franklin, TN, to his military service in WWII, to his life-altering experience as one of the first liberating soldiers through the gates at the infamous Dachau concentration camp, to his over 50 years as a renowned football coach. Click here to view the trailer from American Adventure.

Measure Twice, Cut Once is a fun-filled building adventure that provides kids of all ages with a great introduction to essential carpentry skills. A step-by-step how-to DVD that is centered around a tree fort building project, this DVD features six young men (ages 16 and under) taking on the adventure of constructing their own tree fort, and in the process teaching many important carpentry skills. This film will encourage fathers and sons to pick up their hammers and begin their own construction adventures! Click here to view the trailer from Measure Twice, Cut Once.

Still Standing: The Stonewall Jackson Story His legacy as a military genius is widely renowned. Now, in Still Standing: The Stonewall Jackson Story, his legacy as a man of resolute Christian character is captured in this revealing documentary. Through stunning High Definition videography and expert narrative, Still Standing traces the life of Stonewall Jackson—from his orphaned childhood, to the Sunday School class he taught for African Americans, to the role he played as a General. Still Standing inspires, entertains, and educates. Click here to view the trailer from Still Standing.

To enter this giveaway, ask your children to tell you what their favorite “daddy activity” is and then leave a comment describing it.

A Father’s Manner of Love

June 9, 2008 By Guest 30 Comments

A big congrats to Amy @ Dandelion Seeds on winning this book series!

By Chuck Black
owner of Perfect Praise Publishing, author of the Kingdom Series

“Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not.” 1 John 3:1

Dad, your wife may be the tender loving one with your children, but do not underestimate the power of healthy affection that you have the privilege and responsibility of bestowing upon your children. Done right, a simple hug can change your child’s life forever.

I was the last of seven children and the last six of those children were boys. The only hugging that happened in our home was between Mother and us boys or perhaps between two boys in a knock-down, drag-out wrestling match…not exactly a hug fest! However, my Father was a compassionate man that let us know through an occasional back rub, a face rub, or a head rub that he loved us. It was just as good as a hug and maybe even better. I did not realize how unusual it was for a father to show physical affection for his sons until I became much older and watched the interaction between other boys and their dads. Not only did they not demonstrate any physical affection but there was rarely, if ever, any words of affirmation given by their fathers.

A few years ago I attended a men’s breakfast Bible study for a few weeks and learned that I was the only man in the entire group of approximately fifteen men that had ever received encouragement and love from his father. These were born again, Bible believing men, and many came from Christian homes. I can’t even imagine what the secular world must be like! I immediately felt out of place and blessed beyond measure for the father I had.

As fathers, we have such amazing power to grow our children with encouraging words and healthy physical affection. I understand that this may not be easy for many men, especially for those that never had the opportunity to have it demonstrated for them, but please consider breaking out of your comfort zone and give your son or daughter what they desperately need and long for…the tender, compassionate love of a father. I spoke to a fifty-eight year old man some time ago that told me that his father never gave him one single word of affirmation; not even a ‘good job.’ The pain in his voice was indelibly evident and I hurt for him. Even as an adult man on the back half of his life, he still craved the approval of his father.

I learned this lesson early with my own children and have tried to pass on what my father gave to me. With six active boys in my home growing up, my parents had ample opportunity to referee and engage in many youth conflicts. My father told me that the tension of a situation would diffuse if he could just get his hands on the youth in turmoil. A gentle hand on the shoulder or knee would often be all that was needed to express love and settle the emotions of one of my older brothers, for I am certain it was never me!

My oldest son struggled with anger for a couple of years when he was about eight years old. When I disciplined him for an inappropriate attitude, he would become very angry, run to his room, slam the door, and lay face down on his bed. I knew that it was not wise to leave him in this condition, for bitterness can take root in an angry heart if left alone. I would always follow him to his room and gently talk to him about his anger and attitude. There were times I even had to bring extra discipline upon him until I sensed that his heart had softened and become repentant. That was always the goal, a repentant heart. Eventually, he would submit and we would pray together. I always finished by giving him a hug before I left his room. He was not a boy that really liked hugs, and it was not always easy to do, but I wanted him to know that I was serious about my love for him.

Those were real times of growth for both of us. On one particular occasion, he went to his room in anger, and I followed to help him through his emotions. After quite a long time of counsel and prayer, he just wouldn’t submit and truly repent. I was very sad, for it seemed as though I had reached an impasse with him. I shared with him that I was going to leave, but I would be praying for him. I turned and left his room. I few minutes later, he showed up in my bedroom with a broken heart and a sad look on his face. He said, “Dad, you didn’t hug me.” I could hardly believe what I had heard for I didn’t even know he cared for my hugs. I told him that I didn’t think he wanted a hug because he was still angry but that I would gladly hug him now. As I wrapped my arms around him and told him I loved him, his tense muscles relaxed and his heart melted to repentance. It was a powerful work of the Lord, for from that day forward this same young man has not dealt with a single episode of anger.

For my daughters, during our church greeting time I have made it a habit to kiss the back of their hand and give them a hug to show them how precious they are to me. I was never so encouraged as to see the same son that had earlier struggled with anger do the same thing for his younger sisters after one of his varsity basketball games in front of his athlete friends.

Our Heavenly Father has bestowed his love on us and called us his children. What manner of love ought we to show to our children? The kind of love that says I will encourage you with my words and lift you up with my arms. Dads, let the Heavenly Father wrapped his loving arms around you as you learn how to show affection to your children. It will change their lives forever, and probably yours too!

Prayer:
“Heavenly Father, your love for us is overwhelming. Thank you for the privilege of being called your sons and daughters. Help us to express true love to our families in a way that honors you and grows them up in your Spirit. In Jesus name, Amen.”

Would you like the opportunity to win a full set of Chuck’s The Kingdom Series?

The Kingdom Series novels are Biblical allegories that are set in a medieval time period. They cover the span of time from Genesis through the book of Revelation. They are full of action and adventure where swords, knights, and battles are all Biblically symbolic. The allegory teaches Godly character, the adventure captures the imagination of all ages, and the action keeps teenagers engrossed from cover to cover…even non-readers! They are GREAT read-alouds! Deep symbolism with an action story makes excellent reading for ages 8 to adult.

The series is one continuous story with characters that portray courage, loyalty, discipline, and honor. Read chapter excerpts and reviews or listen to theme music from each book. For more informa
tion on the books, see Book Info. There is no magic, mysticism, or wizardry in The Kingdom Series.

To enter this giveaway, head on over and listen to a sample track of Emily Black’s new CD. She has a beautiful voice doesn’t she? Then come back and leave a comment telling us if you and your spouse have a special song. Maybe it was the one you first danced to, or maybe a wedding song, or maybe a fun song that you both jam to on the radio?