Trusting the Process…

When I first decided to homeschool, my oldest was about 3. As with all things that I make a decision on, I embarked with great zeal…..and had 5 billion questions and concerns. I bugged experienced homeschoolers asking them when could I start teaching reading…am I letting too much time pass by…am I failing???? 99.9% of the time they all said the same thing….Relax, enjoy this, he doesn’t need to know anything right now, he is very young, you are going to burn yourself out if you don’t calm down….ad nauseum…any variation on those.

So I tried.

Then he turned 5…magical age…start of Kindergarten….completely panicked and enrolled him in public school…but 2 days later dis-enrolled him due to an overwhelming sense of throwing him to the wolves. I said something to the effect of him being a late summer baby and wanting to wait a year.

So we did.

Then he turned 6 and I panicked again, but this time enrolled him in a virtual academy. Imagine this scenario….Me…who does not do well with outside intervention coming in to take over, and large feelings of resentment because of the feeling of intrusion….and the child…who did not learn well AT ALL on their schedule or curriculum. We had meltdowns daily…both of us….and I just got depressed, dis-enrolled and embarked on a very intensive curriculum…but ditched it and just read lots of books and played a lot.

Then, I meet the “Unschoolers”….who managed to set me at ease….tell me rather often that I was not screwing up and to just enjoy my children.

But then we moved….and I decided we needed to be more regimented…again…because you know, it SO clearly works for us. (please note sarcasm)

It backfired.

I again was saddled with feelings of failing my child who seemed to have his very own ideas of how he was going to learn, and they had nothing to do with my ideas. Between this and family members coming to me concerned because he was unable to count to 20 or identify letters correctly or even read at the age of 7…I was in serious burnout.

So…I gave up.

I stopped teaching….and started working on relationship….we read tons of books, played games, explored outdoors, went in any direction he was interested in. Soon enough…once I removed myself from interfering…he knew his letters, he could write words, count to 100, and was READING.

Another day when I decided again to “Get Regimented, Get Organized, Get myself in blasted ORDER” we did a few math lessons, I left the room, and both of my boys had decided to work ahead 10 units in their books. Evidently….I was not needed as they taught themselves.

I’m sloooowly…yes…slowly learning (because this does not come naturally to me) to just trust the process….the kids WILL learn, what they want to learn, and what they need to learn will come along with it. We devour books around here, we drive lots and listen to good literature on CD. I’m always juggling 10 books at a time, and they see me do that, so they have the inclination.

Math can be taught at the dinner table….multiplication learnt by poking holes with a fork in a piece of chicken and discovering how many 3 sets of 4 makes…and then poking more holes and going to higher numbers.Science is outside the door….there are toads to catch, bugs to find, flowers to watch blooming, vegetables to plant, apples to watch grow from the blossoms that were once there…the gift of the quality of stillness is there too.

When I think about how I learn now and did learn as a child….it was all about discovery…latching on to things that caught my interest and delving in as deep as I could. School was a time to sit and a place I had to go, with recess to look forward to because there were grasshoppers to catch, and butterflies to chase. After school I spent time hiking in the woods with my wildlife journal, studying the animals that lived there, finding new babies, collecting strange insects.

I’m hoping I get better at trusting in my childrens’ desire to learn and absorb life around them, to develop their own passions and interests….and to know it will all work out ok.

Alana is a wife and homeschooling mom to 3 vivacious children, ages 8 down to 4. They recently moved to a small farm, and hope to grow and raise as much of their food as possible. She is a perpetual student, in love with life and all its possibilities. Please visit Alana at Finding the Way Home.

Tags: Encouragement, Family Life, homeschool life, Homeschool Methods, learning, unschooling