If you homeschool more than one child, you have undoubtedly noticed that each of your children learns differently.
Now I realize that I am hardly shocking you with my insight here, but I know that I often have to remind myself that not all of my children will follow in the footsteps of my oldest daughter. Last month I wrote here about “T” and her early and loquacious speaking patterns. ”T” was able to communicate her thoughts and needs to me early on in life. In terms of her schooling, with very few exceptions, she has been a model student. She is an avid and appreciative learner who is currently two grade levels ahead of her age.
Were she my only child, I might be tempted to wonder what all the fuss was about when it comes to reluctant students or challenging children.
However, God, in His infinite wisdom, gifted me with “N”, two years “T”‘s junior. At six, “N” is three to four years ahead of grade level in math, and two years ahead of grade level in all other subjects. He can read anything you put in front of him — if he feels like it.
Ah! Therein lies the rub! Unlike “T”, “N” has no innate desire to please, and no real love of school. He has no interest in continuing a subject once he feels he has mastered it, regardless of whether or not I have officially assigned work in that area. There are days when I threaten to duct tape him to his chair (fear not! My good sense always prevails!) just to get through a twenty minute math lesson.
Me: “N”, you cannot do a two-digit minus two-digit borrowing problem in your head!
“N”: throws out the correct answer defiantly.
Me: Oh, er, I guess you can…but I still want you to write the problem and the answer!
Okay. Here’s where I need an intervention. Why? Why do I need him to write the problem and the answer? Because ”T” will gladly do her math lesson every day, all 28 problems and answers in her math notebook, and then cheerfully move on to chanting Latin declensions? “N” is not “T”.
While both are gifted, they learn differently.
Perhaps most importantly, “N” is a boy. When many of we women were children, we loved playing school. Think carefully, now…how many boys do you remember who shared that love? Probably not many.
If you have boys, then I’m definitely not telling you anything you don’t know: boys are physical. They have more energy than you ever believed possible. I’m sure there are some who love sitting at a school table for hours a day, but they don’t live in my house. That’s why I constantly have to ask myself what my goals are for my son’s education. What do I want him to learn?
Well, in terms of the math example above, I want him to master the concept of borrowing. The fact that he can do it in his head does not in any way mitigate the fact that he can borrow. If anything, it demonstrates his mastery conclusively. Do I know that he can set up such a math problem correctly on paper and then solve it? Yes, I’ve seen him do it. Hence, I don’t need to see him do it 15 more times in succession. That would satisfy some need that *I* have, not some need that he has, educationally speaking. I have some preconceived ideas about math. One, obviously, is that a six year old can’t borrow in his head. ”N” has been obliterating my preconceived ideas about, well, everything since he was born, so I’m not surprised that this one is going by the wayside as well.
School with “N” will not always look like school with “T”. ”T” will follow her lesson plans, and will then use her free time to pursue her academic interest of the moment (mummification! Shakespeare! the Mayflower!). ”N”, on the other hand, will use his free time like most boys: dirt, legos, and wrestling with his brother.
Thus, I have to toss the lesson plans out the window during school time and let him lead me. If he demonstrates mastery of his math lesson within the first five minutes, we move on to the next math lesson. If he can spell all of the words on this week’s spelling list, we move on to the next. If he all but rolls his eyes when I try to have repeat the definition of an adverb *again*, I let it go. I only have “N”‘s brain formally for a few hours a day. I don’t want to waste that time checking off pointless boxes in my lesson plan book. Most days, I let him set the pace. On principle, I’m still not in favor of child-led learning, but when the child leads more quickly and more creatively than my planning can accommodate, I have to give the idea some credence. Of course, the flip side is that on some days, we just don’t get that much done.
Flexibility is key with all children, but especially, I think, with special needs children. It’s a lesson I’m still learning every day.
How about you? Do you school all of your children the same way, or do you allow for different personalities to dictate different schooling styles?
Laura Delgado gave birth to four children in exactly 40 months, but cheated since the last two were twins. She now happily homeschools her 8,6, and two 4 year-olds. She earned a Ph.D. in Political Science from Rice University, but finds that she uses her undergraduate Great Books education far more in her homeschooling pursuits. In addition to writing for various homeschooling publications, she creates educational materials for edHelper. For homeschooling helps and curriculum reviews, please visit her at http://livingasmartha.blogspot.com.







































You also have the option of working above, at or below said “grade level”, adopting a variety of homeschooling methods or philosophies, you have time to take subjects out of the box and/or break the boundaries that
Cheryl has been married to her ‘do all’ husband for 13 years. They live in British Columbia, Canada on beautiful Vancouver Island. Cheryl has been homeschooling their two daughters ages 9 & 11, for 6 years. Her approach to homeschooling is mostly ecclectic with a dash of Classical & Charlotte Mason. She used to be one of those parents who thought they could never homeschool – boy, was she wrong! She enjoys blogging to encourage others that they too can homeschool if the desire is upon their hearts. She homeschools simply because – her kids are worth it. Please visit Cheryl at 




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