Self-Doubt – Get out!

“Junior is taking violin, Latin, and computer science this year,” your neighbor brags, “his teachers are marvelous. He couldn’t be happier.” You smile politely and walk away, but then it happens – self-doubt returns.

Self-doubt is a dangerous thing. It undermines our good intentions and sabotages our efforts. Doubt prevents us from seeing solutions. It prevents us from moving forward. And sadly, self-doubt prevents us from fully enjoying our homeschooling experience.

Every homeschooler suffers from periods of doubt. We worry that our children are not learning enough. We worry about sports, friendships, and handwriting. I was a master at this. Wanting the best for my children, I spent hours selecting a curriculum; only to fret that something better exists. I set up a schedule and changed it the next day. I wrote lesson plans I didn’t follow. I set goals I didn’t meet. In short, I wasted countless hours and let self-doubt drain my energy. Over and over again I questioned if my children be better off in school.

After homeschooling for nearly eight years, we moved from the city of Pittsburgh to a farm in Ohio, leaving behind our beloved support group, museums, and bookstores. We bought four horses, a puppy, and a handful of cats. I was thrilled; the picture perfect homeschooling environment. We had 40 acres, two ponds, and a menagerie of animals. What more could you ask for?

Yet, before long my excitement dwindled. Life on a farm is hard. Animals get sick: they needed care. Grass grows fast and puppies pee on the floor. Restoring a 150-year-old house also required more time and energy than I ever expected. In addition, I had three children to homeschool; three different grades, three different sets of needs. I was completely overwhelmed and quickly lost confidence.

I punished myself for not doing more, for not covering every subject, every day. Jon’s handwriting isn’t perfect. Kathryn’s spelling needs help, and Garrett is falling behind. Worse, I felt like I wasn’t working – at least not in the traditional sense. My job didn’t bring in a paycheck. I didn’t have a boss and didn’t need a wardrobe. I felt guilty. I am home all day, I reasoned. Why is dinner late again? Why can’t I get more done?

Frustrated and defeated, I enrolled my children in a small Christian school not far from our home. School started. The children were fine. But I was a miserable. What happened? Why had I failed? We moved to the farm intending to homeschool through high school, yet I had not lasted a year. For months I punished myself. It was my fault, my weakness, and my failure. I had let my children down.

As the year went on, I spent hours looking around our “empty” house. We had everything a school could want: books, microscopes, telescopes, and computers. We had educational posters, projects, and maps cluttering our walls. Sadly, the only thing missing was me.

In a typical public school there are separate teachers assigned to each grade, often to each subject. The cafeteria boasts a variety of staff. There are cooks, cleaning personal, and supervisors. The principle handles discipline; the bus drivers and janitors keep the system running smoothly. Homeschools, however, tend to operate with only one employee – a mom. And in our house, mom was exhausted.

Fortunately, as the months passed, I began to look less at myself and more at my children. Jon and Kathryn were placed in the highest reading groups. Both were in advanced math. Both had friends. Both received A’s on every report card. Jon had even been given a lead role in the Christmas play. And much to my surprise, he pulled off a solo in front of 300 people. Garrett, however, was not so fortunate. Kindergarten, for him, was disastrous. He struggled in reading, developed obnoxious behavior, and caught every virus that went through the school.

Sadly, it took placing my children in school for me to realize my mistake. Once enrolled, each child was immediately placed in a different grade, a separate classroom. There it took three teachers, each working full-time, to provide their education. Only then did it occur to me, that I too had been a working mom. In fact, I had been doing the job of three full-time professionals.

In retrospect that year was invaluable to me. It allowed me to see the results of my homeschooling effort. In subjects where I felt my expertise was lacking, I discovered that the schools are often no better prepared. I learned that I was being too hard on myself. I learned that some schools aren’t as great as they sound, to spite what my neighbor may think. Garrett’s experience taught me that homeschooling does matter.

As a result, I can honestly say that my worries about socialization, grade placement, and curriculum have vanished. Today I am much more relaxed. I am more confident, and so are my children. I will always be a homeschooler at heart, yet all three of my children have spent a year in school.

Foolishly many of us believe that homeschooling is about our children. We worry about selecting the proper curriculum. We struggle to provide our kids with social opportunities, friendships, and community service. We debate our decisions, question our progress, and critique our teaching skills. But homeschooling is also about you.

As homeschooling moms, we are clearly working moms. Yet, often our jobs are taken for granted; our needs are over looked. Learn to insist on help, occasional vacations, and frequent days off. Take care of yourself. Conquer your doubt. And most importantly, give yourself permission to be human, permission not to be perfect. No one woman can do it all and no good teacher’s union would let her try.

Ann Lloyd is the author of four books including: Tips and Tricks for Homeschooling Survival and Just ‘Til I Finish This Chapter…,. Tips, Quotes and Practical Advice for Nurturing Young Readers. She is a 10-year homeschooling veteran and the mother of three. Her work has been featured in Home Education, Practical Homeschooling, and Life Learning Magazines. For more information visit her website at: www.mereink.com.

Tags: encouragemment, homeschool expectations, homeschooling, homeschooling multiple ages, self-doubt, Socialization, spelling

What About Socialization? (giveaway)

Congrats Megan of Half-Pint House on winning this book!

You have decided to homeschool, you have researched curriculum, bought supplies and are ready to begin when you hear the question, “So, what about socialization?”

As you stutter and fumble with words, you try to remember all of the reasons you decided to homeschool in the first place. Wasn’t socialization one of the reasons TO homeschool? You remember that you want to build relationships and disciple your children. You want to protect and provide what is best. But the words get stuck in your throat and fear suddenly takes rein in your heart. “What if they are right?”

Whether you have been homeschooling for many years or are just beginning this journey, the question of socialization will eventually be asked. How do you answer the critics when you have not been able to adequately form the answers yourself?

What About Socialization? is the answer. Veteran homeschoolers provide solid responses to the tough questions:

• What is socialization anyway? 
• Is our home a viable answer? 
• How do I shelter and protect while providing opportunities?
• How do I find good opportunities for my children to interact with others?
• How do I evaluate whether they are receiving enough or too much socialization?
• What are some ideas that will help me provide opportunities for my children? 

Would you like to win a copy of this indispensable e-book from The Old Schoolhouse Magazine? Leave us a comment sharing some of the ways you and your children socialize with other families. This giveaway will be closed on Friday, January 16 at 10:00 EST.

Tags: Giveaways, Healthy Relationships, homeschooling, Socialization, socialization issues in children

Heart of the Matter Friday Meme: Extra Activities, Helping or Hindering?

Tags: Extra-Curricular Activities, Heart of the Matter Online Meme, homeschool life, Socialization

Fostering Friendships

Well, summer is finally here. Here in the Pacific Northwest summer arrives bluntly, and unannounced. All of a sudden one day, it just arrives. With summers’ arrival, one can also expect an occasional dose of what I call: Imboreditis. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Imboreditis, it is almost always brought on by unnecessary and invented boredom by children. There are many inventive and creative antidotes to ward off Imboreditis, but one sure cure-all will almost always involve getting together with friends.

Over the years, I have watched my children foster healthy and meaningful friendships. One thing I’ve observed about the majority of homeschoolers, is they are almost always very social creatures – very contrary to the old myth that homeschooled kids may have trouble socializing. An awful lot could be written on the subject, but we’ll save that for another post.

A great benefit to homeschooling is the fact that these kids are able to foster meaningful healthy relationships, as they begin to learn what kinds of relationships may or may not be good for them. They learn which friendships are reciprocal, and which ones are not. They learn to have compassion, patience, tolerance, and mercy, and they learn to forgive too – ‘cuz, hey no body’s perfect. All this is experienced and played out during creative, free, group play.

Our homeschool group meets weekly outdoors for this very type of group play, and the kids have come to eagerly look forward to it. It’s very interesting to watch this type of group play. There is a playground close by, but the kids prefer to stay in the grassy hills where many games are invented. Games of hide and seek, tag, soccer, and much imaginary play are carried out. Through these games, the kids are learning cooperation, how to be sensitive to others and are becoming keenly aware that not everyone may share their point of view. Through it all, I’ve noticed strong friendships and close bonds forming among these kids of varying ages and backgrounds.

As my children get older, I’m becoming keenly aware at just how much these friendships are becoming more relevant and meaningful to my children, as I witness the value of fostering friendships. My own childhood has left me with very fond memories of many summers spent in play with a few good childhood friends. Some of these friendships have carried over to adulthood and continue to warm my heart.

As you enjoy your summer with your children and family, I’d encourage you to consider creating opportunities for your own children for this very kind of group play. Give them opportunities to foster meaningful friendships. I pray that these experiences would warm their hearts as as my own childhood friendships have warmed mine.

Cheryl has been married to her ‘do all’ husband for 13 years. They live in British Columbia, Canada on beautiful Vancouver Island. Cheryl has been homeschooling their two daughters ages 8 & 10, for 5 years. Her approach to homeschooling is mostly Classical with a dash of Charlotte Mason. She used to be one of those parents who thought they could never homeschool – boy, was she wrong. She enjoys blogging to encourage others that they too can homeschool if the desire is upon their hearts. She homeschool simply because – her kids are worth it. Please visit Cheryl at HomeSchool Journey.

Tags: Encouragement, Family Life, homeschool life, Socialization

So We’ve Chosen to Shelter Our Children

“My son, do not forget my teaching, but let your heart keep my commandments; for length of days and years of life, and peace they will add to you. Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.” Proverbs 3:1-3

I believe in protecting my children from outside influences in their youth. However, it’s not enough to just protect them, but I also need to be teaching them the Word. As I keep them close to me throughout their childhood, I will have many opportunities to do this, which is why it is so important that God is first in my life. How can I ever expect them to put God first, if I do not live and walk that way myself?

God has told me that I need to pay more attention to what my children watch. I really started picking apart the shows they were watching. I came to realize the Disney Channel isn’t as innocent as I had believed.

It is no wonder we raise little diva girls full of drama and attitude. They’re only mimicking what they see on television! It’s no wonder we’re raising boys who bully, lie, cheat, and rebel! They’ve learned much of this from their favorite shows.

It’s a good idea to write out your values and remove the things from your home that do not encourage those values. I know, it’s easier said than done. It will mean you will have to sacrifice some of your favorite shows, movies, and games, but if it’s not okay for your children to watch and do, in many cases, it’s probably not acceptable for you either.

As parents, we know we need to unite under discipline and authority. It’s not helpful when one parent undermines the other’s authority. This is common sense. What we often fail to see is that these television shows, movies, and books our children are looking at are teaching our little ones lessons that contradict the values and morals we long to instill in them. They are undermining our authority. By allowing our children to watch and read such things, we are sending them mixed messages.

In the same way, we also need to limit the time our children spend with people who may influence them to do things that are unacceptable. People will tell us we are sheltering our children far too much, but I believe that it is better to shelter them now while we build them in the Lord so, when they are older, they are able to stand strong in Christ through temptations and trials. In a manner of speaking, we are building a foundation for our children, and outside influences can weaken it or cause it to crumble.

Because we homeschool, we are often asked questions about socialization. Honestly, I hate these questions. It’s ridiculous, really. We may shelter and protect our children, but we certainly haven’t hindered them from being “socialized”. If anything, by limiting outside influences, we improve their socialization. They learn how to treat people with respect because they are not constantly around rude, disrespectful children and adults who only consider themselves and walk around with a “Me-me-me” attitude. I’ve been told my children are missing out on a lot. Let me tell you, I agree. They are missing out on a lot of inappropriate talk and actions. They’re missing out on bullies who push them around and brats who tell them they’re ugly, stupid, and not good enough. They’re missing out on textbook teachings which have made theories seem like fact and have excluded Christ (or, in the case of some Christian schools, they’ve left out the truth of Christ). Gee, hmm. Doesn’t sound like they’re really missing out on anything of godly substance by staying home with me!

Somehow, somewhere, we have been duped into believing that in order to have well-rounded children, we need to expose them to the world. We need to teach them to be “open-minded.” I am guilty of being deceived here as well. I have read and tried to follow the instruction of many a child-rearing book. I found myself (and my children) frustrated and overwhelmed. What we need to remember is God has given us authority over our children and has instructed us to raise them up in his Word. His Word is our guide book. Sometimes people say, “I wish babies came with an instruction manual.” Well, I know where you can get one. It’s called the bible, and you can find it wherever books are sold. The Dollar Tree sells them for, you got it, a buck!

We live in a world that says, “There is no absolute truth,” and, “Truth is what you want it to be.” As Christians, Christ is Truth and Christ is the Word, so we can put our faith in the Word. We can live by the Word, which means we can live in Truth. It does exist, and it’s Christ. We don’t need to teach our children to be open-minded to the world. We need to teach our children to be open to the WORD.

Now, I realize it may not be possible for everyone to homeschool their children. I understand that. However, if God has pricked your heart in this direction, you must obey. Sure, you may feel ill-equipped. You may feel it’s an impossible task, especially if you work outside the home. You may feel that you just can’t handle being around your children all day, every day. God makes no mistakes, and if he has prompted you to bring your children home from school and keep them there, then it is in their best interest (and yours as well) to listen and obey. A feeling of panic and fear is natural for many. There are times when I have said, “Dear Lord! You’ve given me more than I can handle!” And, the truth is, he has. You may have heard the saying, “God won’t give you more than you can handle.” That’s a lie. God will give you more than you can handle. He does this so you will depend on him and not yourself. Rest assured, God will give you the tools to handle what he has asked you to do. Not only will he give you the tools, but he’ll also give you the blessing. However, he doesn’t hand us the blessing first. He asks for obedience, and when we take the first step, he blesses our lives in more ways than we can imagine.

As a “discipleship schooler,” or what some may call an “unschooler,” I use mentoring as my number one way of teaching. It saddens me to see parents who fail to connect with their children. They don’t fellowship with their kiddos. They keep them at arm’s length, instead of allowing their munchkins to get involved in their lives.

We need to really involve our children in our lives, but we also need be involved in our children’s lives. When I was in junior high and attending a public school, I came home one day and found myself arguing with my mother. She was frustrated over something I had posted on the internet. She said, “This isn’t you! Why would you write that?” I scowled at her and replied, “You don’t know me at all!”

Truth is, as much as she wanted to be involved in my life, as close as she longed for us to be, I was away from her for 8-10 hours a day, five days a week. During that time, I fellowshipped with people who did not have the same values as my family did. They encouraged me to do things that were against my parents’ beliefs and wishes. I had spent about 50 hours a week with people who encouraged my sinful flesh. Combined with the 60 hours I spent sleeping per week and the 15-20 hours I spent talking to friends on the phone or online, this left around 40 or fewer hours for my parents, and, well, you know I wasn’t spending every single minute I was home (and not talking to my friends) by my parents’ side. I was probably off brooding in my room, writing angry poetry, and listening to angry music. (Yes, I was that child.) When it came right down to it, I was spending more time under the influence of those who did not encourage me in the Lord. They became more important to me than my parents. After all, I spent far less time with those two people who conceived and birthed me than those who prodded me to rebel!

The year my mom took me out of public schools, I changed. I stopped being so angry. I finally picked a few friends that encouraged me in Christ. That’s not to say I didn’t make wrong choices or still have a few bad apple buddies, but I was around my parents more and bad influences less. I began to know them better, and they got to know me better. Our communication improved. I only wish this would have happened sooner!

When we send our children off to school, we lose them in a way. Again, I understand that some people may not have a choice. I get that, I do. I ache for those people, because they are truly missing out on an amazing experience, one that will strengthen not just our children, but the family as a whole.

Schools aren’t there to encourage your children to find their identity in Christ. Schools don’t care about your children’s spiritual well-being. Can you imagine what life would be like if your children were nurtured in the Spirit and were encouraged to be everything God desired them to be? Can you imagine the effect that would have on your family? Can you imagine the impact that would have on the world? All for the glory of God!

If we really, really stopped to think about it, it would blow our face off!

My ultimate goal is not to produce intelligent children. Do I want them to be smart? Sure! Yes! Definitely! Still, my ultimate goal is to produce children who are on fire for Christ, who lean on Him, and long to be useful to His kingdom – whatever that might mean and wherever that might take them. I trust, in that journey, God will fill them with all the natural and spiritual knowledge they need to know.

Of course, that doesn’t mean I don’t have moments where I panic and wonder how I am going to teach them all of the things they are “supposed” to know. I do, more than I want to admit! Yet, deep down inside, God has given me a promise to cling to. He has promised he will protect and guide my children if I follow him in obedience. He has given me a vision of my children, and, when I feel discouraged, I cling tightly to those things he has shown me.

Mandy is a former homeschooling student who has set out to homeschool her three young munchkins in an unschooling meets discipleship method. In her column “Delightfully Discipled”, she gives a glimpse into the curious minds of her children as they follow their natural instincts to explore the heights and depths of knowledge and and are led though Godly discipleship. She blogs at MandyMom.com and Noggin News.

Tags: Encouragement, Family Life, homeschool life, Socialization

Homeschooling with Co-Ops

One of the greatest misconceptions that people have when they hear the term “homeschooling” is that children who are homeschooled do not have the same opportunities for social interaction as children who attend school. In reality, homeschooled children have many resources and opportunities to lead a social life including church, sports, hobbies, and educational co-ops. Recently, I asked homeschooling moms that are members of our two Yahoo groups to share some of their co-op experiences with me and I received a great response from many of them!

1. Kids enjoy the variety of resources and materials provided.
2. Parents do not have to do as much research and footwork on their own; they are able to share with other co-op parents.
3. Co-ops gives homeschooling families the opportunity to bond with other families in their city or state.
4. Co-ops keep homeschooling families on schedule.
5. Co-ops keep homeschooling families accountable for their studies.
6. The extracurricular activities are fun for both the parents and kids including football games, craft parties, theme parties, field trips, etc.
7. People who belong to co-ops sponsored by their church appreciate the opportunity to share their faith and bond with other parish families and the pastors, who sometimes participate also.
8. Co-ops that offer classes or unit studies give students the opportunity to learn a broader range of topics and/or to learn a subject their own parents may not be comfortable teaching, for example higher level mathematics, music, or foreign languages.
9. Students are exposed to different types of teachers.
10. Students are held accountable by someone other than their parents.
11. Parents provide each other with support and encouragement.
12. Students have the opportunity to interact with kids of all ages, not just their grade or age level .

Tags: co-op, Curriculum, homeschool life, Homeschool Methods, planning, Socialization

Heart of the Matter Meme: Socialization

The schedule for the theme of the homeschool meme is located in the right column under “Blog With Us”. Please check it out to view upcoming themes.

Tags: Heart of the Matter Online Meme, homeschool life, Socialization

SO WHAT ABOUT SOCIALIZATION?…AND OTHER QUESTIONS (part 3)

SO WHAT ABOUT SOCIALIZATION?…AND OTHER QUESTIONS ASKED ABOUT HOMESCHOOLING!
(This is part 3 in a 3 part series.)

HOW SHOULD WE RESPOND TO CRITICISM AND QUESTIONS?

Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.”
I Peter 2:23 “…and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered not threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously.”

I have found that some people are just not open to the idea of homeschooling and there really is nothing that can be said to change their minds. In those cases I have learned that it is best to be quiet. There are some cases where people know very little about homeschooling, and are genuinely interested in what I am doing. Some might feel intimidated by what they see us doing. Whatever the reason may be, people seem to have a lot of questions, and can be very outspoken about the subject!

Having said all that, we must remember that any comment or criticism that we may encounter is something that God has allowed in to our lives, and we have the responsibility to respond in a God-honoring fashion. We have the responsibility to evaluate the criticism and sift out any truth that there might be in it. This can be hard to do because many times criticism is not given in a way that is loving or considerate. Though people may step over the line with their comments and opinions, and maybe even focus on the potential negatives of home schooling, it can provide a good opportunity for us to go before the Lord and evaluate what we are doing.

Most importantly we need to pray! We must be aware of the challenges that may come with homeschooling, and pray for God to open up our eyes to the needs of our children, not just academically, but socially and spiritually. It can be helpful to find an objective, supportive person who loves your family, and ask them if they see any areas in our children’s lives that may need work. I have done that over the years, and it has been such a help to us! Others can see things that we do not!

As always, we need to remember that all we do should be done “…to the glory of God”
(1 Corinthians 10:31). This includes how we respond to the criticisms and questions concerning homeschooling. THESE THINGS CAN ACTUALLY MAKE US MORE EFFECTIVE AS HOMESCHOOLERS! We can be THANKFUL, even for the criticism, as He uses it for
HIS GOOD,
HIS PURPOSE,
and HIS GLORY!!

Gina is the mom of two high schoolers, a freshman and a Senior. In her column “Reaching High,” she shares the many lessons that God has taught her and her family, as they have sought Him through the years. Visit her at her blog, Chats with An Old Lady.

Tags: Encouragement, Family Life, Homeschool Methods, Socialization

Too Much of the Wrong Kind of Socialization

It’s funny but as a homeschooling mom I ofter hear the question,

Gee Whiz. I guess they will miss out on developing many social skills since they aren’t enrolled in public school. After all, a couple years ago when they were enrolled in public school they often came home to tell me all about the socializing that occurred during the day.

Like the time my second grader came home and asked me why people were calling him gay because he had on a GAP jacket. Apparently they forgot to inform me at the checkout that GAP stood for Gay And Proud. Now first of all, to tease a child is downright wrong. Second, to tease in a way that also degrades a characteristic of another human being is wrong. I teach my children to love people no matter what. No one is perfect and no one fits into any mold. We are all different. I may not approve of homosexuality but it is not for me to judge them but to love them. Besides, I can assure you that others can find something about me that they do not like.

Then there was the time my then kindergartner was subjected to a showing of private parts in the little boys room. He says “(insert child’s name here) wanted me and my friends to show ours too.” It took weeks to bring him back to the frame of mind that those private parts are well, just that – PRIVATE!

Or let’s consider the social skills my oldest son was subjected to. He has a form of dwarfism called Cartilage-Hair Hypoplasia so his new nickname became Mini Me the midget. I was beyond furious that this was allowed to go on. I went to the school and asked if I could speak to the classes and share with them about my son’s condition. I wanted to tell them that just because he has no hair and is smaller and maybe looks like this guy on a movie doesn’t mean that is who he is. He is ten years old even though he is smaller than others his age. I also wanted to let them know that the term “midget” is inappropriate and degrading and that if they must refer to his condition to just call him a little person. I was told by the school that this wasn’t a good idea since it might bring more attention to the situation. Are you kidding me? Since when is educating and encouraging positive behavior wrong? And isn’t this is the same schools that teach about pre-marital sex and hand out condoms? Won’t that draw more attention to sex?

I could go on…. learning about smokin‘ vipe, hookin‘ up, springin’ bling, wanting tattoos at 7, fist fights, singing very inappropriate songs that they heard from the bus driver…. STOP! I can’t take it! I’m thrilled that my children no longer have to be subjected to this type of socialization. Do I think everyone should take their child out of public school? Of course not. We all have our own opinion and our own way. Some people can’t homeschool because they work, others simply choose not to homeschool and that is fine. It is up to us as parents to choose what is best for our children. (keyword: our) I choose to have my children socialize in an environment that I have some control over. Such as; baseball, football, youth group, summer camp, home school PE, sleepovers, basketball, art class, yada yada yada. They socialize well. No concerns here.

Now, if someone could help me off of my soapbox I’d be much obliged…..

So, how do you respond to this question?

Tags: Encouragement, Family Life, homeschool life, Socialization

SO WHAT ABOUT SOCIALIZATION?…AND OTHER QUESTIONS (part 2)

SO WHAT ABOUT SOCIALIZATION?…AND OTHER QUESTIONS ASKED ABOUT HOMESCHOOLING!
(This is part 2 in a 3 part series.)

THIS LITTLE LIGHT OF MINE. I’M GONNA LET IT SHINE!

Matt. 5:13-16 “You are the salt of the earth; but if the salt has become tasteless, how will it be made salty again? It is good for nothing anymore, except to be thrown out and trampled under foot by men. You are the light of the world. a city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do men light a lamp and put it under the peck measure, but on the lampstand; and gives light to all who are in the house. Let you light shine before men in such a way that they may see your good works and glorify your Father who is in heaven.”

~”Aren’t we called to be “salt and light”?

I can’t tell you how many times I have had someone say this to me. Each time someone has said to me “Aren’t we called to be salt and light?”, I have felt a little stab in my heart because it can cause me to feel as though I am being a neglectful parent, and not teaching my children how to live out and share their faith. Because my desire is to be a parent that is obedient to God’s Word, I desire that they learn what it means to be “salt and light,” and be ready to practice it as they are given opportunity. It can be very insulting to have this accusation thrown your way.

I have had a few people actually get irritated with me as they have told me that my kids need to be “salt and light!” I actually had a man say this to me once, “Home schooling parents are a bunch of lazy parents who don’t want to teach their children how to be ‘out there’ and live out their faith!” After my husband pulled the dagger out of my heart and picked me up off the floor, I walked around for quite awhile feeling somewhat wounded! He hadn’t bothered to ASK how we are teaching our children to be “salt and light.” He had just assumed that they weren’t learning it because they aren’t in the public school system!

For me, this is the hardest accusation to “swallow,” because it is a very serious accusation. But the Holy Spirit prompts me to just be silent, AS HARD AS THAT IS, to evaluate how our children are learning to be “salt and light,” and then seek the Lord’s guidance for how He wants my children to learn to be “salt and light.”

In order for salt or light to be useful there has to be interaction or contact with its environment. If anyone were to take the time to think through this argument thoroughly, I believe that they would be able to see that there are multiple ways that a person can be “salt and light.” Although being a student in the public school system can be one way, there are so many other ways in our day-to-day life to interact with and be a light in this world! But FIRST it must be modeled by US as parents.

A friend told me that, “every time you walk out your front door, you are on the mission field.” That is so true. If we can start to teach our children this concept, and look for ways to reach out and to be an example to those around us as we go through our day, our children will learn how to be a “salt and light.” What about when we go to the store, or out to eat, or to get our hair cut, or fill our car with gas, or play on a sports team, or interact with relatives that aren’t Christians/or aren’t living for the Lord? Whenever we come in contact with people – customers, sales clerks, cashiers, waitresses, teammates, parents of teammates – we are in contact with people whom we can reach out to, talk to, share with, and live out our testimony before. I keep New Testaments in my purse, because at times I have felt the Lord prompting me to give one to a sales clerk or someone I have spoken to. I buy some products from a lady who is not a Christian. So, at Christmas time, with my daughter’s help, I made up a little gift bag for her with coffee, chocolate, a candle…and put a New Testament in there as well.

There are so many ways you can reach out to those around you, and teach your children how to live that life as well (socialization + being a light!!) Then, as they find themselves in situations with teammates, coaches, or friends, you can help them think how to reach out and share their faith. But we must be living it first. I like to think of myself of a sort of “coach” in this regard. The fact that we do so many things together gives us ample opportunity to be “salt and light” together. I love it when one of my children has done something that stood out, and was a testimony, and I can say to them, “You did such a great job being an example in that situation!”

Although as believers we are all called to be “salt and light,” we as parents have the awesome opportunity and responsibility to live that calling before our children, and guide them in their calling as they grow and mature in their faith, so that when they are grown they have learned what it means to live that out, and can teach their children the same. As homeschoolers, we can pray for God to open our eyes to how we can be a light and how we can teach our children to be “salt and light.” Then we can pray that God would provide opportunities for our children to practice what they are learning. It is exciting to see God’s timing and His wonderfully unique ways for using our family as part of His plan.

As hurtful as some of these comments can be, they can still be opportunities for us to evaluate how we are doing in the area of teaching and providing opportunities for our children to learn this most important life lesson!

Gina is the mom of two high schoolers, a freshman and a Senior. In her column “Reaching High,” she shares the many lessons that God has taught her and her family, as they have sought Him through the years. Visit her at her blog,Chats with An Old Lady.

Tags: Encouragement, Family Life, Homeschool Methods, Socialization

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