The Dinner Table & the Family Meal

Posted by Rachael | 0 comments

Fixing an excellent meal takes lots of planning and work. There is no getting around it. Anything that takes hard work to accomplish is usually worth the effort. However, the rewards and benefits outweigh the cost of time and energy and I have seen several benefits from all this hard work.

First, I can serve healthy meals on a low budget and feel good about what I am serving. Accomplishing this is no laughing matter. When I have slacked off my planning, I typically forgo the work because I am lost as to what to serve and so I settle for convenience. This leads to guilt! I hate guilt. I like the feeling I have when I am winning the battle of accomplishing a plan. When I don’t plan, guilt follows and makes me feel like I am losing that battle. Without guilt, I get to feel good about what I am serving and know my children will grow up strong and healthy (so I pray and plan!).

Second, putting forth all the effort of planning the menu makes me also plan meal times and an evening schedule. It forces me to try to be wise with my time and put value my dinner table with my family. I like to schedule at least 1 hour to sit down, eat, & fellowship. I don’t know how people eat on the run every meal, every day and not suffer the physical consequences (like heart burn and indigestion from eating too fast) not to mention some other consequences like spiritual and relational. Planning for the meal times helps my dinner table to be more relaxed.

Third, the fellowship we enjoy at the table is immense joy. This fellowship time has provided opportunities for discussion, play, & spiritual training that might otherwise have been lost. Some great discussion ideas that we have participated in have been daily happenings, likes and dislikes, compliments to each at the table, dreams for the near and far future, and meal table etiquette training. An excellent book that has assisted me in this area is called Elbows Off the Table, Napkin in the Lap, No Video Games During Dinner: The Modern Guide to Teaching Children Good Manners by Carol McD. Wallace. Another resource for ideas is an article from AboveRubies.com titled “Dinner Time Conversations”. Communication really does take work even for those of us who seem to “converse” more naturally than others. Sometimes conversation just sparks itself but other times you need to provide the flame with some questions and ideas.

We also love to play at the dinner table. One of my daughter’s favorite Christmas presents was the little game from Wal-Mart.com titled Beginner Dinner Games (geared for ages 3-6). They are so much fun for all of us and come in a cute little tin box. Each game is printed on spill proof cards. My children usually ask to play something from it at every meal and my response is to remind them that they are “dinner” games, not also breakfast and lunch. That is so I don’t get bored with them. Another great book that has helped in the games area is called 500 Five Minute Games by Jackie Silberg. When we play a game at the table, we play after everyone has almost finished their meal and the play lasts at the most 10 minutes. My kids would love it to last longer but we parents know that chore packs and family devotion are yet to be done.

The opportunities for spiritual training have been a huge blessing. We have read passages from the Bible or The Golden Children’s Bible (highly recommended!), worked on a family memory verse together, memorized group prayers to say all together for the meal blessing, spoke blessings over the children (utilizing the book Bless Your Children Everyday by Mary Swope), and recently discovered the blessing meal. It is described in an article from AboveRubies.com. The title of the article is “The Shabbat Meal” and it describes in detail this once a week special meal that the whole family looks forward to. So for us one evening meal does not necessarily look like the next but there is some form of fellowship happening at every meal.

These three rewards- a healthy meal, a relaxed dining experience, and fellowship with my family- are indeed worth all my planning and work. I need to be honest. The actual work is easy but it’s the planning that is hard. Your time invested in planning will pay off. I remember recently having a conversation with an adult friend who was asked what the favorite memories of her childhood were. She said that all that really sticks out in her mind was the vacations and family meals. Vacations are few and far between but something that is as valuable as the family meal takes place everyday! We have the opportunity to make lasting memories in the minds of our children as well as lasting relationships with our family.

I also have another friend who was in a Bible study with me and made the comment that her family does not have the time to sit down together because of outside responsibilities. She revealed to me that they had lost the family meal as her kids got older and their time away from home was often. I would challenge her and people like her that perhaps her priorities are misplaced. How your everyday life looks (what you spend your time doing) is what you believe in and live for.

My priorities are God first, marriage second, and children third. My marriage and my motherhood depend on the family meal. I also see how meal times are spiritual. I believe that God designed us to eat multiple times in a day to point to the spiritual world. We need food like we need God- everyday, all day long, not just to survive but to thrive. Eating with our families not only nourishes our bodies but it also nourishes our souls and spirits.

Bon Appétit from my dinner table to yours!

“COME TO THE TABLE!”
From Psalm 128

“Come to the table, supper’s ready to eat.”
All the children come running to find their seat,
At the head of the table father takes his place
And with all gathered round he says the grace.

He’s made an effort to be home from his work,
From his place at the table he will not shirk,
He affirms his commitment to his family and wife
And his presence at the table eliminates strife.

Mother has taken time to prepare a nice meal,
Full of nutrition, not a pre-packaged deal,
She delights to cook for her growing brood,
Knowing it’s a sacred task to prepare their food.

The table’s inviting – a clean tablecloth too,
The plates nicely set, perhaps a candle or two.
The children all help and do their part
To make the table look great and very smart.

What joy to be together at the end of the day,
To laugh, communicate, and each have a say,
To share the day’s happenings with one another
And tell what they’ve learned to father and mother.

The plates are now empty, they’re full to the top!
Is it time to leave the table? No! Stop, stop!
We’ve fed only the body and the soul so far,
The best part’s to come, and it’s not out of a jar.

It’s time for devotions; we must feed the spirit,
Of the blessing from this, there is no limit.
Father opens the Bible and to his family he reads
Sowing into their hearts God’s eternal seeds.

Now it’s time to pray, each one takes a turn,
They pray for needs as God’s will they discern,
They give thanks for blessings with a grateful heart
And develop a spirit of gratitude right from the start.

God’s blessing is on this family we know
As around the table their “olive plants” grow,
God’s smile is upon them as they follow His way
And establish this principle for now and always.

Nancy Campbell

Rachael is wife to a Navy Tubist and mommy to three children, ages 1 to 6. She is Director of a Classical Conversations group and a childbirth educator and doula. She works along side her hubby on their hobby farm and has a passion for kitchen experiments. She aspires to train and reach the hearts of her children that they may know the purpose of life is to know Jesus and make Him known to others.