The Story of Our Adoption Part 1: Why?

Posted by Nikowa Lee | 0 comments

Adoption is one of the biggest decisions anyone can make, just as in having a biological child. And each family is unique in choosing how they expand their family. Some may not have children at all. Some may only have one. Some may have a dozen.

Generally people whom want to adopt, do so for a variety of reasons.

• fertility reasons
• other medical issues
• a desire to help fill a need
• religious reasons, etc.

Sadly, most people that are “on the outside looking in” think that most, if not all, people who adopt are doing so as a last resort. This is simply not true at all!

We have already gone through one adoption (step-parent) and will soon be going through another adoption using our local Department of Family and Children Services. Just as there are many reasons people adopt, there are also many types of adoption. This is by no-means a full extensive list, but a few of the more common adoptions are:

• International: adopting from outside of your own country
• Relative: adopting a relative of your own or your spouses
• Open: adoptive parents having some/full contact with the biological parents
• Private: adoptive parents having no contact with the biological parents
• Step-Parent: a step-parent adopting a step-child(ren)

You can even have a variation of these such as an international-relative adoption. Adoption is somewhat complicated and here’s our “Why”?

In a nutshell, our reason is for “other” health reasons, not infertility.

Tip: Never assume that just because someone wants to adopt, that they are experiencing infertility.

The first time I ever went to the gynecologist, I was 14 years old. My menses were so painful that I’d often miss school. So my dad (who I lived with at the time) took me to the doctor. Ladies, let me tell you I was so scared! In order to get a complete physical, they performed my first ever Pap Smear and found suspicious cells. This is not the best first experience! Then I had to go back so the doctor could perform a colposcopy (biopsy). They found bad cells in it too! (This biopsy also serves as a method of staging the cancer; basically telling you how far it’s spread & how “deep” it is into the tissue.) It was then decided that cryotherapy (freezing) would be the best option for me since the cancerous cells weren’t spreading yet or very deep. The bad cells were only superficial. After undergoing the Pap, colposcopy, and cryotherapy, I had another follow-up Pap and after all was ‘normal’, I was ordered to have my “annual” every 6 months for the rest of my life. So now not only did I have a bad first experience, I’ve gotta come back twice a year!

After I had my second son, who was born in 2003, I had my ‘semi-annual’  and the doctor again found suspicious cells. Oh no, here we go again, I thought. Another colposcopy (biopsy) was performed. But thankfully, the colposcopy came back OK. We received a false positive. I’ve heard and read this happens more often than you might think, so if you get a positive try not to worry. Notice I didn’t say ‘don’t worry’ – that’s truly hard to do. I know.

Continuing on with my “semi-annuals”, I went into the office in June 2007 to inquire about having my tubal ligation reversed so that I could have children with my husband. The doctor performed the Pap and yet again the doctor found bad cells. Hey at least I know what to expect! Then I received yep, another colposcopy; this too came back positive. But this time, the tissue showed that it had spread to the surrounding tissue and was “deep”, more specifically a stage IIIA. Because of this, the LEEP procedure wouldn’t be effective. My doctor recommended that I undergo a radical hysterectomy. Now this I haven’t been through! I was so scared. I didn’t realize the enormity of the situation when I was 14, oh but I did then! I went in for the possibility of carrying another child only to be told that because of cancer, that’d never happen again. It was a hard time in my life. I was thankful and wanted to be cancer-free, but I also desired more children. I felt betrayed by my body, yet I knew this must be God’s Plan. Oh so many mixed emotions! After my hysterectomy, the doctor sent “everything” to pathology to insure that all of the cancer was contained. Praise God it was and I didn’t have to undergo chemotherapy.

Everything went well and I feel good now, other than going through menopause (starting) at the age of 26.

Another tip: Don’t assume that menopause is only for those ‘experienced’ women.

It’s been years since my journey started in women’s health. I am giving my testimony hopefully to save lives. Keep (or make) your appointments. I know these types of doctors aren’t fun; believe me, I wish I didn’t have to go back either. But it really does save lives! Please join me next month as I share part 2 of our adoption journey.

Nikowa has been homeschooling her two boys since 2007. With her “learning never ends” philosophy, they have an eclectic year-round approach to learning. When she’s not teaching, she enjoys photography, organizing, cooking, and reading. She is a #1 LOST fan and watches UGA football too! (Go Dawgs!) You can visit Nikowa at Knowledge House Academy.