As you begin homeschooling, there are a host of questions that may be in the back of your mind:

• Can I really do this?
• Can I really teach my child what he needs to know and give him a proper education?
• Can I find the balance between being a mom and a teacher?
• Can I keep up with all my other responsibilities?
• Can we afford the financial portion of schooling at home?
• Can my child be properly socialized?
• Can my child still be involved in sports?
• And what if I fail?

What if I fail……

That is the BIG question, isn’t it? And it is even bigger when you do fail. Or at least think you’ve failed.

Having graduated my first two children from high school with one going on to complete college and the other completing a tech school, I felt like I could breath a sigh of relief. Yes, homeschooling does work! Look at the success!

Then along came my third child. The one who had the most imaginative creative stories ever. The one who could design magnificent Lego structures, build a fort in the woods, or sketch a funny picture. The one who could recite dialogue or songs from any movie he had ever seen. The one with the wacky sense of humor who was either dressed as a pirate or a military soldier in his younger years. The one who regularly hugged his mother and was loyal to his family and friends. The one who carried around babies, entertained his younger siblings, and connected with every pet. The one who read G.A. Henty late at night. The one who loved God and had a strong love for his country. And when it came to homeschooling, the one who never quite completed his studies from year to year and should have had “Procrastination” as his middle name. For this, my dear reader, is what got him into trouble.

Each year as we finished up our schooling, he always had a bit left to do in a subject or two which we vowed to work on during the summer. And each year that commitment lasted for about a week and then we’d all forget and fully enjoy the short summers where we live and not think about book learning until the end of August.

Then he hit high school and it was a repeat of those grade school years. He’d never quite complete all of his studies leaving a course or two almost done at the end of the school year. We tried a variety of corrective measures, changed studies to accommodate his learning style, and still nothing would motivate him to finish. As he became old enough to work in my husband’s business, his summers were spent working with dad and during the last two years of high school that work seemed to affect his studies in spring and fall as well. He easily became my husband’s right hand man at work as he was responsible, committed, and loved working outdoors.

And there sat some of his high school courses. Uncompleted.

And there sat his mother beating herself up over failure. Completed.

While I was busy thinking about all the things I must have done wrong with this one and how I should have done this or that or the other thing, he was busy doing other things. Things like taking on more responsibility in my husband’s business, getting involved in the youth program at church by working with a group of junior high boys who enjoyed his teaching, and discipling a handful of high school boys he met with weekly. Now living in a house at the other end of town with a friend he’d know since babyhood, each day he’d stop in the house before or after work to give his mom a hug, grab something to eat out of MY fridge, and lovingly tease his siblings a bit.

For awhile I’d remind him to work on finishing up his high school course work during the winter months when work was slow, but it never happened. I then went to the second verse of this tune and suggested that he should consider getting his GED and be done with the schooling chapter of life, and again it didn’t happen.

Then one day I heard the Lord whisper in my ear, “Let go and LOOK.” After wrestling with the Lord using every “but, Lord” excuse I could find, I did what He was asking me. I let go. I looked. And the Lord reminded me of the vision that began our homeschooling years. The vision was not to raise educational geniuses, but to raise children who would grow to love and serve the Lord giving them a solid education in the process. And it was then that I realized that essentially my vision had been accomplished as I witnessed the young man of integrity standing before me. He did love and serve the Lord wholeheartedly, had received a solid education, and thoroughly immersed himself into the things he loved doing. Not only did I let go, I relaxed.

Isn’t it amazing how when we let go of things and give them to the Lord He can then begin working? For it wasn’t long after that when a series of events led my son in a direction that had been placed in his heart a long time ago. He was immediately prompted to go through the GED process which had the requirement of prep courses and then taking the actual test. He breezed through it. Then there were a series of other steps and tests that were necessary for him to accomplish the goal God had instilled in his heart, and he did well with each one. All the ‘i’s were dotted, the ‘t’s crossed, and his name was signed on the dotted line. And a week ago I kissed and hugged this son good-bye as he entered the U.S. Army.

Homeschooling failure? Perhaps the world would say so as the required courses at home weren’t all completed. My heart says the opposite. I’m proud of who this son has grown to be and know that in the days ahead he will continue to be filled with integrity and loyalty as a man who loves his family, loves his country, and loves his Lord. And really, isn’t that the heart of the matter?

Married in 1980 and still living in the same house in a woodsy rural setting, Tammy’s homeschooling journey began in the fall of 1987 when her oldest turned six years old. As rather new believers professing Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior, homeschooling was a way to live out the principles found in Deuteronomy 6:4-9. Through all the challenges of life Tammy has stayed the course growing to a family with nine children who presently range from preschool age to college graduates married with children. Her role has transitioned from learning everything she could about homeschooling to becoming an encourager to others coming along the way. Please visit Tammy at Garden Glimpses.