They Learn From You First

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One of my very favorite movies is Parenthood (PG-13). The movie centers around one character, Gil (Steve Martin), as one of four siblings navigating his way through adulthood and the many twists and turns of his immediate and extended family. He has a sister who struggles to restore her family after the damage of a divorce. There’s another sister who, in partnership with her husband, has exposed her only daughter to an accelerated education with missionary zeal, only to somehow forget that the little girl is only four years old with four-year-old needs. There is also an irresponsible younger brother who is determined to “make his mark” in the world, and considers a normal life with a normal job beneath his capacity. There are other players in this multi-generational clan, each bringing his or her own issues and adding to the drama. In the midst of it all, Gil, frustrated with his job to the point of quitting, finds out that his wife is expecting their fourth child. At a pivotal moment in the movie, Gil’s grandmother (who stays in the home of each sibling periodically so that the parents can make room for the irresponsible son) enters the room and very simply lays out a wonderfully profound allegory. Her tale goes something like this:

‘When I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster. You know, it was just so interesting to me that a ride could make me so frightened, so scared, so excited, all at the same time! Some didn’t like it. They went on the merry-go-round. That just goes around. I like the roller coaster. You get more out of it.’

There is a cycle of emotions associated with our homeschooling journey. We may start out confidently, buying, buying, buying — organizers, planners, curriculum, and more curriculum. Those of us who are mature in the faith might have also prayed and fasted, inviting God to come and invade our plans (emphasis on the order). We have our school areas immaculate and ready for the glorious riches to occur for everyone who gathers around. Even the thought of a residue that will settle upon all the doubting Thomases in our midst is not beyond the farthest reaches of our imagination.

Then comes the season when it all begins to unravel. Crayons and markers leave a stain on what was a clear, clean slate, and papers once neatly stacked are now piled in semi-permanent disarray. Truth be told, this is also the state of our emotions; wishing for the safety and control of the merry-go-round, yet we are dazed and anxious atop the roller coaster. What happened, we think. What’s next? What should I…? Did I really hear God calling me to do this?

Isn’t God’s Word wonderful in its simplicity? I am so amazed at the way the inspired Word develops its characters; there are so many simple people, just like me and just like you. Such is the group of prayer warriors gathered to intercede for the imprisoned Peter in Acts 12. Imagine the emotions in the room — the anxiety, the fear, the spoken and unspoken questions about Peter’s uncertain present and future. In the middle of it all, someone suggests that the group should begin to pray. The group begins to gain strength and comfort in the presence of God and in the presence of one another. Yet when Peter knocks, Rhoda answers and thinks she’s seen a ghost.

In her response, we see ourselves and a powerful lesson in trusting God. Do we really trust Him to move in our situations, or do we sound like so many who are still seeking? How many homeschooling friends have we called to bear our souls versus how many times we’ve cried out to God? Is your favorite “how to homeschool” book on your shelf more worn out than your Bible? Could you really pray and then watch for Him to move? That’s what He wants to do, but like Rhoda, we are not always open to an answer from Heaven, so we begin to gather our own answers.

Consider this: what do you want your children to learn, and what are you doing to teach them these things? Curriculum will develop academic wisdom, but when it comes to spiritual preparation, they will learn from you first. What happens when your particular roller coaster goes into a spin? Without spoiling the end of the movie for you, Gil has to grit his teeth and coax his knotted stomach, but he learns to ride the coaster’s waves. How do you respond to prayer? Is there a Rhoda among you, not looking for God to show up? Believe Him to do what He says He will do. It is His pleasure to work in our best interests.

“I have no greater joy than this, to hear of my children walking in the truth.” – 3 John 1:4

Check out my article on page 10 of the new flipbook edition of Heart of the Matter Magazine.

Belinda Bullard is a wife and homeschooling mother of three, Belinda is an author and the owner of A Blessed Heritage Educational Resources, a literature-based history curriculum featuring African-American presence in history, as well as the contributions of other races to American history. A chemical engineer by formal education, she also serves as adjunct faculty for college distance learning programs.