My husband and I have been involved in church ministry for the full 14 years of our married life. We have planned and prepared many different kinds of programs, hosted innumerable (and delightful!) dinner guests, taught countless small groups, staffed youth programs, trained leaders, presented workshops, sermons and even dramatic productions. I could go on and on. Thinking about it makes me feel tired but satisfied. However, several years ago, when I was in the thick of it, thinking about it made me feel something altogether different.

After trying daily for years to get the point across, provide growth opportunities, teach with creativity, help handle conflict, expect good behavior, model a Christ-like ethic, pose challenges, and praise, praise, praise, it seemed that we were spinning our wheels. I’m talking about youth ministry, but I could also describe my own homeschooling journey in the same terms; stalled, going nowhere and feeling overworked and under appreciated. Yes, I have been burned out in both areas.

Burn out is different from stress. Stress often makes you work harder in order to reach a goal that you feel is worthy of attaining, even if it’s an unhealthy goal. Burn out is characterized by letting that work slip through your fingers. You are burned out when you feel ineffective, lose interest, and disengage. If you feel like the only reason you’re homeschooling this week is because you’re afraid someone might check up on you, you’re there. And you’re not alone.

I most often want to disengage from homeschooling in the dead of winter. I live in the rainy Northwest and I honestly don’t know anyone who loves homeschooling indoors in February. The books aren’t new anymore, the children aren’t listening anymore, and you can’t just leave the house and blow off steam at the park. It’s prime time for burn out. It’s also the time when we have to shake things up a bit in order get back into drive.

I have made a list of many ideas that I have personally tried (and some I have waiting in my back seat yet) when the winter doldrums hit. I hope that you can find just one idea here that inspires you to get back to a place of delight and productivity in your homeschooling.

Give yourself permission. You’re going to wonder, “Give myself permission to do what?” Well, what do you wish you could do in your homeschooling that you’re holding off on because of some unrealistic expectation, some other voice other than your own, or because of fear that your kids will experience gaps, test badly, or fall behind? What do you need permission to do? Stop early for the day? Try something new? Let go of something burdensome? Experiment? Take a day…a week…every Friday off? Examine your expectations to see if they’re serving your child or family well and give yourself permission to do what you think is best as their mother and mentor.

Shake up your patterns. This is especially necessary in those subjects that seem to make everyone drag their feet the most. Every 4th week leave Latin lessons behind and let your child try some online vocabulary activities. Mix penmanship practice with computer typing lessons. Let a video show you England instead of reading about it from a book. Let your older child read aloud to all of you while you give your voice a rest and snuggle your littlest one in your lap. You can even take a week to only focus on a big project and leave the subject studies behind. There are endless possibilities.

Learn together. Sign up for a family class through the Park and Rec. Put yourself next to your kids in a learning environment and let them help you with Tae Kwon Do, Web Design or Ballroom Dancing. You’ll probably laugh a lot and come away with a greater appreciation for the potential that really lies within your kids.

Establish traditions to anticipate. These may be based on a holiday or a habit. You can have Friday Night dinner and discussion by candlelight, a Valentine making day, Breakfast and Bible, Dad’s the Teacher Day or even create an obscure holiday observation (How about Squirrel Appreciation Day on January 21st or Lame Duck Day on February 6th?).

Encourage another homeschooling mom. Sometimes answering the question (aloud and with a little conviction), “So, why do you homeschool?” is just what you need to get your cylinders pumping again. And if you’ve met together over coffee you’ve taken a little time out for yourself so it’s a doubly good idea.

Let a book tell you what to do. If you’re a mom that is uninspired to continue writing your own unit studies, get a unit study guide and let it tell you what to do for a few weeks. It may not be your style, but sometimes it will excite your kids with new methods of learning that you may not have touched on your own initiative.

Take an in-service day or two. Classroom teachers do this for very good reason. You need to take time to figure out what to do for the next week or month. If it makes you feel better, put on a quality DVD for your kids to watch while you do this. Hitting the ground with a plan on Monday will build your confidence and push you out of your slump.

Tailor the trends that overwhelm you. I think lapbooking is very cool in concept but, to me, that’s a lot of work to do in a few weeks’ time. At the end of our lapbook study I may have a beautiful display to show the inquiring grandparents, but I have no ideas left to try in the next unit. My solution? Choose just one lapbooking fold or booklet, complete it over a week’s time and then glue it to a notebook page. Then, next week if you or your kids don’t feel like continuing in that vein then you don’t have to and it’s not left incomplete.

Reduce the stuff that drains you. Are you involved in an activity that sucks the joy out of your life? Are there people that leave you feeling discouraged whenever you’re around them? Do what you can to reduce exposure to these things. Your energy is precious and everyone notices when mom is trying to pour from an empty vessel.

Reaffirm the truth of your identity in Christ. Sometimes we tell ourselves that being a homeschool mom just isn’t very important in the big scheme of things. Well, we actually tell ourselves this fairly frequently, but we get into trouble when we begin believing it. You are God’s messenger to your children. You are ushering in His kingdom with your good works. You are accepted and free to become that person that He created you to be. You are loved and you are purposeful. If you base your identity in your Creator then it’s quite possible that your homeschooling will not just be a daily task but an act of worship.

Let me close by reminding you that you are a person of passion. If nothing else, maybe you can gain encouragement from the fact that you are only burning out because you were following hard after something you are deeply passionate about. At one time you were in motion and you were awesome! Infuse some new gas in your tank so you feel like you’re getting somewhere. Remember, you don’t have to go at top speed to be effective and engaged, and you don’t have to go the same way you were going before, you just have to go.

Check out my article on page 14 of the new flipbook edition of Heart of the Matter Magazine.

Debra Anderson has been married to her true companion for 14 years and has three sons under age10. Debra’s passions are education, art, her husband, church ministry and missional living — not in that order. She has served as her co-op’s coordinator in Portland, Oregon and loves connecting homeschoolers in relationship to one another. Debra has her seminary Masters degree in Christian Education and has always home educated their boys — even on the hard days. She maintains a blog at Emergent Homeschool.