Weapons AGAINST Mass Distraction

As a Homeschool mom, I have about a gazillion things I have to juggle each day. I am the cook, the maid, the teacher, the referee, and the accountant. It is amazing I can fit in time for personal hygiene. It is no small wonder that people aren’t beating my door down to find out more about home education! Homeschooling isn’t for the faint of heart. However, while the job may be thankless and the salary is awful, the benefits are certainly worth every small chore. The problem, then, is not that Homeschool moms need to give up homeschooling… it is that we need to find a way to balance our lives and put more focus on what is really important. We each need to find a way to zero in and eliminate all the fluff so we can be productive and successful in everything we do.

Matthew 12:25 ~ … “Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand.”

Do you find yourself struggling to keep the distractions at bay? Do you have a child that is unable to keep to the task at hand? Have you ever stopped to wonder if your distracted child is learning the behavior from a distracted mom? Often times the things we see in others that we like the least are reflections of our own worst character traits rising to the surface. I can vouch for that advice… I remember hearing a mother scold her son one day at Wal-Mart and heard the harshness in her voice. It certainly touched my spirit and made me think about how I had scolded my own son not long before we left the house… and how I must have sounded to him. Recognizing that our hearts are not in the right place and that our attentions are divided for the worst is a first step in positive change.

So what is distraction?

Main Entry: dis•tract•ed
Function: adjective
Date: 1576
1 : mentally confused, troubled, or remote 2 : maddened or deranged especially by grief or anxiety

- from Dictionary.com

As a wife, mother, and teacher to our clan… the last thing we need to be is “remote”, “troubled”, “confused”, or “deranged”. Some synonyms for the word distracted also include the words: imbalanced, bewildered, crazed, deviant, disordered, irrational, unreasonable, unhinged, and wandering. Thinking those words over individually leads you to the correct assumption that a little distraction is NOT a good thing – nor should we take it lightly (because our enemy isn’t).

1 Peter 5:8 ~ Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.

Think about the consequences of distraction in everyday life: a healthcare worker is distracted and causes a medication error that injures or kills a patient… a distracted eater gains another five pounds and increases their chance of diabetes… a distracted driver accidentally runs over a child… you get the picture. It may not seem quite as important when your children can’t remember what they have just read because they were busy watching you do chores or listening to you take a phone call instead. Yet as the distractions pile up, you find yourself overwhelmed and “troubled”… “anxious” and “remote”. Stress from distraction causes relationships to be strained and your example to be tarnished by ungodly character (anger, resentment, complaint, rage, idolatry, poor stewardship, procrastination, unforgiveness… the list goes on). When the children see mom in a mess, they tend to mimic us as well. Siblings fight, laziness becomes apparent and you soon find that the kids are just as off track as mom.

In my first article at HOTM back in January 2008, we discussed what “heartstrings” are and how we can make them. In the second article of this series we talked about the mission field in our homes – how our example and relationships with our children are our most important mission in life… and how time is fleeting to accomplish a great work in their lives. For our “heartstrings” to remain in healthy shape, though, we need to eliminate the distractions that seek to damage them. Remembering that we are in a spiritual war and that God truly is in the details will do us all a great service: helping us to be the opposite of distracted!

What is the opposite of distracted?

Who wouldn’t want to be known as “focused”, “observant”, “sharp”, “aware”, “alert”, “reasonable”, “balanced”, “clearheaded”, “sane”, “stable”, “calm”, … even “happy”? Maybe our pursuit of ‘happiness’ should be a pursuit of life driven by un-distracted purpose and happiness will follow. I think I speak for most Homeschool moms when I say, “I want that!” I want less distraction and more vision. I want to come away from each week feeling like there was focused and meaningful success (even if the list didn’t get checked off and the house isn’t perfectly clean). We all know that feeling of being on top of things… of knowing that God carried you through an insanely busy week and somehow you arrived in one piece – and you feel blessed and encouraged that lesson plans got done and you managed to keep your cool. While everyone’s idea of a successful week might differ, I think we can all agree that less distraction would rocket us all forward towards meeting our goals.

9 Practical Steps to Reform our Scattered Ways:

1. Recognize what distracts you.

Much of our problems are self created. Many times distraction is the result of sin. Are you allowing yourself to spend more time on things that are lesser priorities? Do you suffer from a lack of prayer time? Your temptations and patterns with lost time will lead you to the root causes and give you lots of ideas on what you can change in your daily routine.

2. Unplug and Reconnect.

Chances are if you find yourself overwhelmed by the noise of the day, you are listening too much to the wrong sources! Even Jesus had to step back from the crowd and connect one-on-one with God. In today’s world of email, text messages, junk mail, telemarketers, blogs, tv, radio and other electronic stimulus – it is good to remember that the constant stream of input is OPTIONAL. People will understand if you turn the phone off during school hours. Certainly mom’s computer time should be limited during school to avoid distraction and a routine breakdown. Sure, you may have important business waiting on you when you return to the computer… but usually nothing that can’t wait a few hours for you to regain composure and reconnect with the Almighty.

A set time for unplugging the kids is another important step towards keeping their “heartstrings” strong. Green Hour, free reading or Tea Time are just a few ideas that you could quietly do together each day or each week. Allowing your teen children to do a bible study on their own might give them a sufficient does of quiet reflection as well. If you aren’t making time for your own daily dose of meditation over God’s Word, I would highly suggest it. A day without God is a wasted one… and one that is destined to go wrong.

3. Simplify and Purge.

If it isn’t working, ditch it. There’s no use beating your head against a wall. If you have fallen in to a rut, identify the problems you are having, set some goals, and resolve to change. You don’t have to use every worksheet in a workbook. You don’t have to do every activity in a unit study. You CAN switch curriculum two months before school lets out in May! You don’t need to be on five or ten different email lists and get over fifty emails a day (calculate how much pointing, clicking and deleting that requires and keep only the email groups that you NEED). Declutter your supplies, catalogs, curriculums, furniture, closets, etc. Having all the things you need handy – and getting rid of what you don’t need will free up more than just space and time… it will make you FEEL better. When your mind is free you can focus on what is important and allow the kids to work efficiently (without the distractions that come from searching for things or not having what they need to finish a project).

4. Speed it Up: Shave your Time

Do you know where your biggest time-wasters are during the day? Make a list of how you spend your time during the school day (have the kids participate and it will impress upon them the value of time and responsibility). Set up your errands on the same day. Set up your school day based upon the arrangement of your house and accessibility to curriculum, tools, and natural flow of each project. Schedule clean up breaks to minimize end-of-school-day disaster. Keep a grocery list. Know what you are having for dinner before lunch each day (to save money and eliminate frantic fast food dinners). Freeze meals ahead. Take some time on weekends to plan the next week out and even prepare assignment sheets and tear out worksheets if you use them. The quicker the kids can tackle their work, the fewer distractions on Monday through Friday! Keep a notepad handy (avoid the scraps-of- paper trap). Sure we know you wrote it down “somewhere”, but if it isn’t in ONE place, you may never find it again. Handle your mail once and throw it away if you don’t need it. If you look hard enough, you’ll find an area or two where you can improve your efficiency … and time saved is pure gold to a Homeschool mom!

5. Don’t Procrastinate.

Aside from clutter and wasted time, one of the biggest distractions for Homeschool moms come in the form of those little piles of projects that never got done on time. Maybe they aren’t piles, but are lesson plans that go undone because we weren’t prepared. Maybe the grading isn’t finished or the dishes aren’t done. Whatever it is that you haven’t done will come back to haunt you later… adding stress that will eventually drive you to distraction. Break your big projects down into steps, set small goals, keep an updated calendar, and force yourself to ask the question every day: “What ONE project can I complete today?” You’ll find that the stress relieved by finishing something and the feeling of accomplishment you get are worth the extra thirty minutes you lost by putting duty before play-time. Tomorrow your load will be that much lighter!

6. Don’t NAG – Mind your Tone!

Too often we Homeschool moms (and parents in general) sound like a broken record.

“Please finish your math.”
“Hurry and finish your breakfast, we need to start school.”
“I told you to clean off the table.”

Finding a way to get our point across without sounding like a nag is a difficult task when we are in the trenches of everyday life. However, you will find that if you come across with a negative tone, use guilt as a motivator or give empty threats – the kids will begin to tune you out and the cycle will go on for eternity. Broken record = no results. Get creative and establish a ‘New Plan’. Instead of calling it “getting school done”, be specific. How about, “I would like for you to finish these last four or five things on your assignment sheet and then you can have free time until Daddy gets home.” Instead of the same old phrase, you have given the kids a “quest” and reminded them of their motivation. You have made the task seem less formidable – and have avoided sounding like the “school nag”.

It is smart parenting to allow natural consequences to take place rather than constantly remind someone that they are not on task (ie: Johnny doesn’t finish Math, so he has homework during video-game time with Dad…). Try a written note to the kids, a rule chart with consequences, or an assignment list. The key to communicating without walls are fivefold: be clear, be encouraging, be consistent, be prepared to act, and think before you speak. If we remember to change things up and put ourselves in other’s shoes when bringing our requests to the table, we will avoid sounding negative or demanding. We can extend this technique across all our roles and watch amazing things begin to happen. With idle words out of the picture, progress towards better character is made – for parent and child! The children might even begin to think it was their idea to finish the chores. Maybe they will start to feel good about their contribution to the family through hard work. That will make life easier for MOM.

7. Make a Priority List.

It helps if you have a reminder now and then. A simple list on the fridge can help remind you daily if you get off track. A list might look something like this: God, husband, kids, meals, school, house, family, friends. Read over your list each day when you eat your meals and take some mental notes. Have you spent time with God? Have you done something thoughtful and kind for your man and the munchkins? Do you know what’s for dinner? Have you done more than the 3R’s? Is the house somewhat presentable? Have you talked with your mom today? Did you remember your best friend’s birthday? It doesn’t take long to create a new habit – and forging a new routine around your top priorities will keep life running in the smooth lane.

8. Know When to Rest.

Don’t wait until you are having to lay in bed with a box of tissue and the throat spray to get some R&R. Your mind and body need to rest and re-energize (and so do your kids). Have you noticed that you have dark circles under your eyes? Are you tired more often than not? Are your teeth on edge? Maybe the whole family needs a field trip day, a play-hookey day, or just some time alone to read and kick back. Pushing your kids or yourself until you are running out of steam goes against the purpose of making learning enjoyable anyway. Plus, “Ain’t nobody happy if mama ain’t happy.” If you find yourself scowling, it is highly probable that everyone needs some solitude and a dose of “schedule-detox”.

9. Rewards Rock!

Rest may seem like reward in and of itself, but even more than the reward of some time off, everyone in the family needs incentives to work towards. If you have ever worked in Corporate America, most likely you haven’t worked for free. Most people don’t take a job and work hard at it unless they can take a paycheck to the bank. Set small goals and make a few “wish list” items that you can work towards. An allowance might be a start. Make sure that it isn’t “free” money, but rather, a reward for hard work. Are the chores done? Is the school list checked off? Other ideas to work towards might be a pizza party, a sleepover or a new book. Rewards don’t have to break the bank (nor should they come too quickly or easily). Maybe mom and dad can take one kid each on a “parent-kid date-night”? The treasure-box of ideas is only limited by your own creativity. Watch the kids light up when they start reaching goals and feeling like winners!

What the Bible Says about Distraction:

Luke 21:34 ~ “Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you unexpectedly like a trap.”

I’m sure you have seen this verse before. If you haven’t, it is a favorite verse of many a harried homeschooling mother. Did you know, though, that there is a world of meaning behind the word “dissipation”? Take a good look at what Jesus warns the hearts of mankind against:

dis·si·pa·tion
Pronunciation [dis-uh-pey-shuhn]
–noun
1. the act of dissipating.
2. the state of being dissipated; dispersion; disintegration.
3. a wasting by misuse: the dissipation of a fortune.
4. mental distraction; amusement; diversion.
5. dissolute way of living, esp. excessive drinking of liquor; intemperance.
6. Physics, Mechanics. a process in which energy is used or lost without accomplishing useful work, as friction causing loss of mechanical energy.

- from Dictionary.com

Preventing distraction to protect your “heartstrings” is advice that comes from the RED PRINT – straight from Jesus himself. It is serious business… a mission in and of itself. Rid yourself of the roadblocks that are in your way and consider a distraction-less life your new mandate. All things are possible through Christ! May you find a way to prevent the “anxieties of life” from stealing your success each day. May your heart truly be purpose-filled and light.

Sprittibee (Heather) has been homeschooling for 6 years and has one crazy husband, 2 crazy kids (ages 9 and 11) and 2 crazy cats. When she isn’t making Tex-Mex, learning web design, teaching the kids, or rubbing her face on the cat’s belly… she loves to blog. In her column “Heartstrings for Homeschoolers,” she reminds us to stop and smell the proverbial flowers on this journey we call homeschooling. Not every day will be a great one. She admonishes us to learn to focus on the beauty of the moments God has blessed us with – for better or for worse… because our hearts are shaped by the memories we are making.