One of the many blessings of homeschooling is that our kids can become who they are without the pressure to fit a stereotype. As parents, we can nurture all that God created them to be without reservations or limitations. In a society where boys are provided with all the wrong images of what makes a man manly, I have grown to love the fact that my son loves ballet and tap–and performs both excellently.
This is his sixth year in the dance program, and I have to admit that his father and I were, shall we say, nervous about putting him in a program that struggled to keep a single boy in it, and has never as long as we’ve been there had more than one boy. In the early days, I was very protective of him as I know how cruel kids and, unfortunately, some adults can be when kids don’t fall into stereotypical interests and activities. Don’t get me wrong; I’m all for not turning our boys into “sissies” by stripping them of their God-given boyishness. But I have to wonder if, in the name of raising strong men, we’ve not reached an area when the pendulum has swung the other way. Are we guilty of the reverse of the modern-day feminist movement, which seeks to glorify every aspect of our daughters’ budding womanhood except that of becoming a wife and mother? Have we convinced ourselves that a “manly man” can’t spring from a boy who loves the performing arts?
In my years of watching male dancers, I’ve seen men who are as buff as anyone I’ve seen on a sports court or playing field. I also applaud my son that his interests, at least today, are quite varied—-he began learning basketball last year, and he plays tennis. His ability to pirouette and sashay is no more of a flaw in him than my passion for the NFL is in me. (Incidentally, he also watches parts of the games and regularly enjoys Sportscenter with us). I tell you what else has happened in the six years since he took his first class:
He’s no longer a sensitive kid, crying every time someone questions him or pokes fun at him about dancing. He’s a confident kid who’s proud of himself and ready to show off his skill rather than ‘hide it under a bushel.’
He can articulate to anyone, kid or adult, why it’s unacceptable to him to be laughed at or mocked about his ability. He is learning to believe in himself and to do what he loves regardless of how many choose to applaud him.
For these reasons and more, he’s admired by many parents in the program, and I believe that when the time comes, he’ll have more than his share of women to be a manly, and moreover, a Godly man with, beginning with an admiring crowd of female classmates! What he’s learned in his willingness to continue to dance he would have never gotten, at least as early as 8 years of age, on a testosterone-laden Little League bus. He is, in the words of the great poet Robert Frost, taking ‘the road less traveled by, and that will make all the difference.’ Praise God.
Belinda Bullard is a wife and homeschooling mother of three, Belinda is an author and the owner of A Blessed Heritage Educational Resources, a literature-based history curriculum featuring African-American presence in history, as well as the contributions of other races to American history. A chemical engineer by formal education, she also serves as adjunct faculty for college distance learning programs.
I applaud your son for all his hard work. My daughter danced for years and is now a Jr. in high school. It is hard work but even harder I think if you are a boy. The stamina and strength they must have is amazing. I love watching dance and even though my daughter has stopped dancing now she learned so much out of it and has such a strong self image.
Keep up the good work mom.
Nikki
http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/Angelheart/
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Belinda, thank you for such a wonderful post – I really enjoyed it and echo your sentiments! Praise God indeed for the gifts and talents he blesses our little ones with and for the wisdom he grants us to direct them in these delights, honoring and glorifying Him! Blessings!
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Great article! Thank you! I have two boys, and am so grateful that they can grow up and be who they are. My oldest is 8 and is very nurturing. He has no problem playing dolls with his little sister, and once took his baby doll out to breakfast with us. He ordered bananas for his and his sisters dolls, swaddled them, and when we left I noticed two boys laughing at him…along with their father. My son’s biggest goal in life is to be the father of no less than 10 kids.
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I want to give your son a big high five!
I also desire to see more boys/men participating and enjoying the fine arts!
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Wonderful post. I studied ballet for 9 years growing up and there were few boys in attendance at the school where I studied. Not until you reach a professional level do you see many men (unless you happen to live in a big city). There is nothing wimpy about ballet. It is one of the most difficult endeavors one can take on and it teaches so much about discipline, self awareness, confidence, presence, musicality, history, and on and on. I applaud you and your son. Bravo!
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Congrats to your son for following his interests and developing into a confident young man.
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Loved your post! My son no longer takes ballet, but he loves his theater dance class – and his baseball team!! It’s great that he can pursue his passion.
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Your article couldn’t have come on a better day. My daughter decided to get out her Bella Ballerina DVD, dance mat, and bar while I was on the treadmill. She came in telling me how her brother did Bella Ballet perfectly, but it was not a boy thing to do! Well, I’m glad I’d glanced at my e-mail earlier, because we came out and read your article and now her tune has changed! I completely agree with you about the feminist movement (and some other movements); our views of what is masculine and feminine have definitely been skewed over the years. Thanks!
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Good for you! I think this is so important yet so overlooked.
Great post.
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That is AWESOME!! Your son obviously has a strong character and skill!!
My oldest son has recently caught the acting bug and is doing his first Children’s Theatre play. It is so neat to watch him blossom. He’s just in the Chorus, but still awesome!
Tell your son to keep up the great work.
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