What They DON’T Learn in School, But Can’t Live Without

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“My son, do not lose sight of these—
keep sound wisdom and discretion, and they will be life for your soul and adornment for your neck. Then you will walk on your way securely, and your foot will not stumble. If you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.”

Proverbs 3:21-23. (ESV)

No matter where your teen is heading after school (higher education, the military, the workforce, missions, etc.) there are things he’ll need to know beyond reading, writing, and ‘rithmatic. Proverbs calls them “wisdom,” “discretion,” and “understanding.” Today we often called them “Life Skills.” I’m convinced that life skills are the most important and most under-taught subject in America. I was greatly blessed with wise parents who took every opportunity to share their wisdom and make sure I was prepared for adulthood. In this article I’d like to share with you seven principals no teen should leave home without and simple ways to impart them.

Principal #1: Be a Good Steward of Money
Teens like money. Most teens even have some! But very few know how to use it wisely. The vast majority of what teens hear about money is “SPEND IT”—a message that usually results in short-lived “toys,” fast food, and empty wallets. Teens need to learn how to:

• Set and live within a budget
• Tithe
• Save money
• Read a financial statement
• Balance a checkbook
• Pay bills and taxes
• Shop for good deals
• Get or stay out of debt
• Understand insurance policies

If your teenager doesn’t have a checking and savings account, open one soon. Conveniently, most banking can be done online these days. Teens need to know how much money they have, where it’s coming from, and where it’s going. The sooner they start taking ownership of their finances the better. If they have an allowance or a job, let them start paying their own bills. Teens often suddenly develop much more frugal tastes and habits as they start counting the cost of their clothes, cell phone plans, gas, and entertainment.

Fortunately, there’s a wealth of information about biblical handling of finances out there today. I highly recommend resources from Larry Burkett (www.crown.org), Dave Ramsey (www.daveramsey.com), Focus on the Family (www.family.org), and Math-U-See’s Stewardship Math program (www.mathusee.com). The Rich Dad, Poor Dad series, while not Christian, is also worthwhile.

Principal #2: Thrive on Your Own
Eventually, your kids will be living on their own. There’s no need for them to live on Raman Noodles and come home bearing bags of dirty clothes. Part of being an adult means taking care of your own mess! Your teens should know how to:

• Do laundry
• Cook balanced meals
• Perform simple home/yard maintenance tasks
• Clean and organize living space
• Drive a car, check its oil and tire pressure, change a tire

All these things are pretty basic, but it’s amazing how many college freshmean seem utterly incapable of any of them. My brother and I began helping with laundry as soon as we were tall enough to reach the dial.

Principal #3: Make Plans
Teens are notorious for wasting time and then complaining that they don’t have enough of it. A little planning and thinking ahead go a long way toward reducing stress and keeping life under control. As you teach them how to plan, remind them that their plans affect other people too! Teens should practice:

• Making a calendar and keeping a schedule
• Prioritizing time, especially time in the Word
• Setting measurable and achievable goals
• Organizing an event
• Planning a trip

Encourage your teen to pick out and use a day planner. Also, let them be involved in making the family’s plans like vacations, church events, or field trips. Check out 500 Ways to Organize Your Child by Cheryl R. Carter for a plethora of ideas. (Her other books are great too.)

Principal #4: Act Like a Pro
Learning to speak and act professionally, relay important information, and do research are crucial skills in the business world. Teens should develop the following skills:

• Writing business and formal letters
• Professional phone manners
• Finding contact information for an individual or company
• Filling out applications
• Using a library
• Developing Power Point presentations
• Doing interviews (both asking and answering questions)

How they present themselves to people who might hire them, grant them scholarships, lease them an apartment, or help them find information goes a long way toward accomplishing their goals.

Principal #5: Be a Peacemaker
People are confusing sometimes, and it takes a lot of wisdom to know how to handle friends, authorities, and enemies. Kindness, putting oneself in someone else’s shoes, and clear communication can diffuse hard situations before they happen. Through prayer, practice, and talking with you, teens should learn how to:

• Discern someone’s tone and motive
• Handle a confrontation biblically
• Respond to authorities respectfully (especially when you disagree!)
• Listen to what others are saying
• Rebuff negative peer pressure
• Discourage a flirt
• Encourage a friend

There’s too much to be said about this topic for an exhaustive list of important skills here, but you get the idea. I do recommend Focus on the Family (www.family.org) and Peacemaker Ministries (www.peacemaker.net) for excellent resources and training.

Principal #6: Take Every Thought Captive
Teens today hear more conflicting messages today then ever. The need for critical thinking and discernment is huge. Through conversation and analysis, teens need to:

• Determine the messages in movies or songs
• Read reviews and understand the reviewer’s worldview
• Discern a principale (something in scripture) from a method of applying it
• Articulate an opinion and support it with logical evidence

Before watching a movie, look it up on www.PluggedIn.com. Take time to discuss the film afterward. You’d be surprised at the worldviews you can unearth with a few simples questions like “what does this say about God, man, or the world?”

Principal #7: Take Care of Your Body
Some teens take to good health naturally, while others need to develop this discipline. It’s easy to eat whatever and whenever you want, stay sedentary all day, and stay up until all hours—but those aren’t good ideas. Practice:

• Eating well
• Exercising regularly
• Getting a good night’s rest

Teens can either develop a healthy lifestyle now or work hard to correct their mistakes later. You may want to set goals together and make a friendly competition out of it!

These are skills your teens will be developing for the rest of their lives. The more they learn now, the better. Of course, no one is ever “fully prepared” for adulthood. All of us are still learning!  Remember, your teens will learn best if they see you modeling these behaviors in front of them. Take time to explain, demonstrate, and build these skills a day at a time. Start anywhere and enjoy the journey!

Tyler Hogan is the Vice-President of Development for Bright Ideas Press. He lives in Dover, Delaware with his very patient wife, Helen, and their adorable baby, Kaylee. He and his wife are both Homeschool Graduates. He has spoken, performed, and taught classes around the world on homeschooling, the arts, and worldview issues. In his “spare time” he teaches classes for homeschoolers, performs street mime, reads good books, drinks tea, and over-analyses movies. He has a BA in Theatre from Belhaven University, and is currently working on his MA from Covenant Theological Seminary.