When a teen has no desire to homeschool

Posted by Lee | 0 comments

A mom poured out her heart to me.

She homeschooled her son until high school, but then put him into private school. There were some issues, and a change was needed, so her son wanted to attend public school. She was considering homeschooling again, but was very concerned. Even though her son wasn’t rebellious, he had no desire to homeschool. She wanted solutions.

Here is my reply to her:

I’m not sure there are easy solutions. When a teen has not been homeschooling for a while, and doesn’t WANT to homeschool, then often it becomes extremely difficult. It’s possible to homeschool against their wishes, and there is a greater chance of success if they are not rebellious. Often, when kids begin to homeschool again, their socialization skills improve, and they quickly adapt and like homeschooling again. Still, I think the greatest chance of success is when the child WANTS to homeschool.

If you are having troubles already, and he has only attended a private school so far, then it seems like a public school situation might make the situation even worse. I have seen teens that act out more and more, rather than less and less, when put into public schools (and private schools too, but you have already seen that.) My advice, then, is to remember that changing to public school could in fact make the situation much worse.

If you decide to homeschool, have your child choose the curriculum. My favorite is Sonlight Curriculum, but I know it doesn’t fit everyone. Here is a link to Sonlight. Have him choose his own math, using the high school math strategies here.

If you decide to homeschool, demonstrate that he can study subjects he likes, in a way that he wants to learn. Explain that he will have MORE time to spend with his friends, because homeschooling is a more efficient way to get academics out of the way. Explain that he can get a real job while homeschooling, earn real money, while still getting his academics done.

If you decide to homeschool, then get some support. There are local homeschool support groups that can help. If you need more direct, high school help, I offer my Gold Care Club, which comes with a one a week 20 minute phone call for support. Just make sure you feel confident. I do have a YouTube video on how you know you can homeschool high school.

When returning from public school, experts will often recommend “de-schooling” for a while. That means taking some time off from heavy academics, in order to get used to the idea of homeschooling with delight directed learning. Here are links to articles about de-schooling. Don’t look at the ads for online schools – those would be the worst thing in this situation, in my opinion, and make him wish for public school even more.

It’s very normal for a child of 17 to not have any idea what they want to do in life. Homeschooling can provide a wide array of opportunities, so kids can try out a variety of different things within the context of “school” that goes onto the homeschool transcript. But still, it’s just a normal situation – only in VERY rare situations do teenagers know what they want to do.

I have two boys – no girls. 17yo boys are HARD. My husband taught a class on YouTube about Raising Boys vs. Raising Men, and it might help. I know what 17yo boys are like, and they are NOT easy!

Lee Binz is a veteran homeschooling mom of two and the owner of The HomeScholar, “Helping parents homeschool through high school.” She has a new free minicourse called “The 5 Biggest Mistakes Parents Make When Homeschooling High School”. You can sign up for her free email homeschool newsletter, The HomeScholar Record and get your daily dose of wisdom via e-mail from her homeschool blog, The HomeScholar Helper.