When I Got My Son Back

Posted by LisaV | 0 comments

At times I reflect back to when my towering 11-year-old son was a mere toddler, running and exploring the world around him. Always inquisitive and curious, he asked more questions than I could answer (and still does). I decided to put him in pre-school at age 4 so he could prepare for Kindergarten at 5, which was supposed to prepare him for first grade and beyond. He did well in school. The teachers loved him and his humorous, sweet ways. He scored A’s in all his classes and entertained his classmates during the school day.

Pre-school was only three mornings a week. Kindergarten was three full days a week, with Mondays and Fridays off. First grade was five full days a week, and that’s when the withdrawal began.

I worked as the school treasurer for the three years he was enrolled, so I would take him to school and then stay two or three mornings a week, often with a toddler (our second son) in tow. The two of us would visit our older son during breaks and lunch, and he seemed to be happy laughing and eating with the other children. I’d take my toddler home for a nap before picking up our older son from school. Often, if the weather permitted, we stayed after school to play on the playground with other children.

Once we arrived home, our older son would frequently retreat into his own private world of play, shutting out the rest of us until dinnertime. Eventually my parents began to notice his withdrawal during their monthly visits, as his usual cheerful self turned into one that never spoke. Around that time my husband and I began reading Better Late Than Early by Raymond and Dorothy Moore, which seemed to describe our older son so clearly. Sending a child to school can cause them to feel rejected by their parents, something they cannot verbalize so they withdraw instead. Our kinesthetic child was bored by the constant waiting, getting in line, and more waiting of the long afternoons at school. He never told us this until we started homeschooling him in second grade.

That whole first year of homeschooling was eye-opening in more ways than one, not only because I had my child back, but trying to catch up with the person he had become. Sending him off to school every day for seven hours was difficult for me. I chose not to think about him much during that time, making the transition easier. Our younger son could play by himself, but he missed his brother dearly, something I didn’t realize until they were both home full-time.

I don’t fault the school that my son attended for three years. I’m sure conventional school works well for some children, while others excel in any environment. I just know that it didn’t work for our son and homeschooling is a better option for us. There are times when I’d like to send the kids to school, or think it would be better for them there, but they remind me that they want to homeschool and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Lisa (aka Morning Rose) has been teaching her two elementary-aged sons for four years and incorporating study, work, service, and play into their homeschooling days. She enjoys reading, writing, and photography and blogs publicly at Pockets of Time and privately at Scooter and B.