When sacrifice hurts

Posted by Nikowa Lee | 0 comments

sac-ri-fice (noun): destruction or surrender of something for the sake of something else; something given up or lost (the sacrifices made by parents)

Sacrifices are a common occurrence in virtually every American household nowadays. Whether it’s sacrificing eating out in order to pay off debt or sacrificing your time to volunteer, sacrificing is now commonplace.

Generally we think of sacrifice as something that we do that will help our family in one way or another. But what if your sacrifices are hurting instead of helping?

Here is an example where our sacrifices were hurting our family more than it was helping us. I hope that sharing our story will help those that are sacrificing too.

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Recently my husband went back to work after 6 months of being unemployed. We were so thankful; but this job is 100 miles away from home, one way. In order to save money on gas, time traveling, wear/tear on our new 2nd vehicle, and decrease sleep deprivation for my husband, we decided that he should stay with my father. My dad lives approximately half way between our house and the job site.

Problem solved, right?

Not quite.

It seems that we were all sacrificing things to save time and money.

• I was sacrificing sleep, because quite honestly I cannot sleep without my husband at home. I had fears of break-ins (oh the noises you hear at night). Add in the stress from running a household as if I were single again, and this did not have me in a good mood. Little things that normally wouldn’t effect me, got on my nerves. I was overwhelmed and sick. Literally.

• The boys are stressed because of fear that Daddy’s not home and in their minds, he might not come back. Separation anxiety was making them defiant, clingy, irritable and this makes Momma even more stressed. In complete honesty, I got tired and would more often than not let them have their way. I knew this was wrong but I was only one person. I can’t do it all. I re-evaluated my priorities and making sure the clothes were hung up properly wasn’t on the top of the “to-do” list, ya know?

• Daddy’s stressed because when he *is* home, the boys are testing their new boundaries. They were more “sassy”, demanding and he felt like he was constantly getting onto them when he wanted to be hugging them.

Our whole life was flipped upside down because of sacrifice.

But what do we do?

We had to take a long hard look at our sacrifices and ask ourselves, “Is it worth it?”

In our particular situation: “Are all of these problems that our family is encountering worth Daddy staying away from home 4 days a week?”

Not to us.

So in our situation the sacrifices that we were making as a family was actually hurting us more than it was helping us. Now my husband is coming home every night and the stress is gone. Sure, we’ve had to change some things around (ahem, making some different sacrifices) like earlier bedtimes, but *this* is a sacrifice that we’re willing to make.

Nikowa is a 3rd year homeschooling mom to two boys. With her “learning never ends” philosophy, they have an eclectic year-round approach to learning. When she’s not teaching, she enjoys photography, organizing, cooking, and reading. She is a #1 LOST fan and watches UGA football too! (Go Dawgs!) You can visit Nikowa at Knowledge House Academy.